Note: This is a guest post from Rachel Jones of Nourishing Minimalism.
Whenever we decide to embrace a major change in life, we are forced to evaluate our thoughts and beliefs. Major changes—whether chosen or unchosen—compel us to pay attention to what is happening in our mind.
We look deep to determine truth from myth.
And let’s face it: all of us have lies that we tell ourselves—even without noticing. Most of these mistruths are unintentionally believed (rarely do we purposefully believe a lie). But regardless, these lies impact the way we live, the decisions we make, how we communicate with others, and yes, even the state of our home.
Six years ago, my family discovered the joy of owning less when we decided to remove 2008 items in 2008. We enjoyed it so much, we also removed 2009 items in 2009, 2010 items in 2010, and have continued every year including this one (with 8 people in the house, stuff seems to seep in through the cracks!).
This change in our lives, eliminating the unnecessary so we can focus more on what really matters, has caused me to evaluate my own thoughts and beliefs. As I did, I began to recognize some of the specific lies that were keeping my home and life cluttered.
Surely, we each have our own versions, but I have found six that are particularly common. See if any of these are keeping you from experiencing greater simplicity in your life.
Lie #1: If I limit my wardrobe, my clothes will be boring.
Truth: Having a smaller amount of clothes allows us to invest in quality items that fit well and coordinate, so no matter what you pull out to wear, you look great. Your clothes do not have to be boring.
A capsule wardrobe can include any items you want! It doesn’t have to be neutral.
People will notice how great and “put together” you look all the time. You can spice up outfits with different accessories to add variety and include your own special touch. If you like hats, a few different hats can be your statement pieces. The same can go for belts, scarves, heels, or even boots.
Lie #2: If I leave the work for later, I will be more motivated to finish it.
Truth: Whenever we procrastinate little projects around our home, a running to-do list begins forming in the back of our mind. And this makes it difficult to truly enjoy other things. As a result, not only is the work not finished, it has also become an annoyance to us.
To alleviate this stress, get into the habit of putting something away when you are done using it. Most small jobs take less than 5 minutes. Finish them right away and then revel in your accomplishment. Put the baking supplies away when you are done. Do the dishes after you eat. Fold and put away the current load of laundry when the dryer is done. Sort the mail as soon as you bring it in the house. Or reset the living room before you even leave. Your home will stay uncluttered—and so will your mind.
If you accomplish little things throughout the day, you won’t need to set aside time to clean. You’re creating a habit of tidiness rather than using all your energy catching up on what you’ve been putting off.
Lie #3: If I get rid of something, I’ll regret it later.
Truth: Most of the stuff we keep, we don’t actually need. And often times, when we do keep something around “just in case” and get to the point where we do need it, we can’t find it. So we end up borrowing one or purchasing a new one. So why keep it in the first place?
Or perhaps we keep things out of guilt—sentimental items where we feel like we’re betraying the person who gave it to us. We’re not getting rid of the people or the memory, we’re just getting rid of an item. If the item is sitting in storage, it’s not serving its useful purpose anyway. Allow yourself to find freedom by releasing it. Or allow the item to serve a purpose by giving it a new home.
Lie #4: If I throw out papers, I will toss something important.
Truth: We don’t need nearly as many physical records as we keep. Most likely, if you choose to tackle your pile of papers and sort it all over a trash can, a full 80% of it will be junk mail, receipts that you don’t need, bills that have already been paid, or other documents that are accessible online. The remaining 20% or less can fit in a small filing box.
Exceptions: If you own a business, get legal advice from your accountant on what you need to keep and how to best organize papers and receipts. If you have settled a debt with a company, keep the statement saying that it was paid. If you file for any financial assistance, you may need a couple months worth of bills, bank statements, and pay stubs—though many of those are available to print online.
Lie #5: If it’s going to get done right, I need to do it myself.
Truth: When we fail to delegate, we harm ourselves with overwork and burnout. Even more, we steal the opportunity of growth from others. Requiring perfectionism is often just another form of procrastination. It really doesn’t matter how a job gets done, as long as it gets done.
Perhaps the work will not be done exactly as you would do it, but delegation is important, especially as we teach our children the value of hard work and how to be a contributing member of society. Start with tasks that will bother you the least if they’re done ‘incorrectly’ and then work from there. Many children can break down boxes, take out the trash, and choose 20 items they want to donate from their toys. Your spouse can tackle one room while you do another.
Lie #6: If my closet and drawers are cluttered, I need better organization tools.
Truth: We can’t organize excess. Maybe the solution isn’t that you need a better organization tool, maybe the problem is that you own too much stuff. Courtney Carver says it this way: “If you need to buy more stuff to organize all your stuff, maybe you own too much stuff.”
Purchasing organizational tools is just feeding into the consumer philosophy. To organize excess is to spend even more time sorting and taking care of stuff, when we could just be rid of it once and for all and spend more time doing the things that are truly important to us.
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Rachel Jones blogs at Nourishing Minimalism where she helps people clear the clutter, invite calmness into their homes, and enjoy the time they spend together. Also, you will enjoy her Facebook page.
I says
Sounds like you’re acquiring too much. That’s the opposite of minimalism. So, effectively, each year, for the past nine years, you’ve acquired 2,000 items only to get rid of them in a future year. Throwing away and rebuying is not minimalism, it’s consumerism.
Cassie says
Regarding #4 – Please always recycle paper (or shred & recycle, if needed)
In fact, recycle everything that can be recycled. Thanks!!
Karen A says
How much stuff does one really NEED. Very little! In fact less stuff is less work, easier to maintain! You spend less and live more!
Marilena says
I am now more conscientious of the gifts that I give to other people. In the past, I always felt that giving flowers was a rip-off to the reciever because they die, but now that is the precise reason that I give them! Also, gift cards for consumables (eg health food store, cosmetics, restaurant, beauty service), or a donation to a charity in their honour.
Thank you for the article. I especially enjoy seeing my own experiences in the comments section.
Carole Peters says
Appreciate your revolutionary comment: we can’t organize excess. I’m always looking for a bottom line and I believe that comment is it. Wow! I feel like I just got wings! Truth is a beautiful and freeing thing. Thank you…
Anne Trent says
Thanks for the reality check!
When we decided to sell our house and travel American full time in our Airstream, we had to do a reality check on cutting out all of our clutter. I especially had a hard time with keeping important papers. I went through every paper, and had to ask important questions, “How will this help me later? Is this useful now? Why do I need this?” If I cound’t answer the questions, then out it went.
Sunny says
I have recently experienced an unusual cause for clutter and that is too much space. My mother, my best friend, they live in huge living spaces and their lives are out of control with stuff. Not important stuff just stuff that unfortunately will simply be tossed into a landfill because it’s just not important or valuable. And then once the purge happens, more stuff creeps into the gaping spaces because there’s so much of it. There’s no need to put things away, there’s so much space.
I enjoy my simple life and they do too when they visit.
Lynn says
I found the best declutterng was visual, and by removing some pictures. a framed embriodery, and some plaques from the walls, I felt “a bit more space to think in”. I know, it sounds a bit crazy (I’m not), but it was an eye opener (pardon the pun) to me. Our home is small, therefore, anything that contributes to visually creating space if good. I’ve also removed a small table by the back door that had only framed photos on it, 2 dining chairs that are rarely used, and I try very hard to keep the dining table clear (but as that’s the only workspace – no room for a desk or office space – it’s often cluttered).
Tracy says
Why is it the person who did the cleaning is more protective of it?? I am soooo thankful to have a wonderful husband who doesn’t hesitate to do any housework or chores. But its funny, if he cleans something and I leave something out after he has cleaned, I hear about it Ü I clean all the time and then tease him when he breaks the cycle. What I have learned and it really helps us both is to only TOUCH IT ONE TIME. You brought the tape measure in from the garage, used it……now put it back where you got it. You only touch it one time. Don’t lay it down on a table to “go into the garage” later. It’s sounds crazy, but it really works.
Tracy (from Bliss This Home) says
I’ll admit I was nervous to read this, since personally I am not a fan of minimalism (I think of homes completely devoid of personality and signs of life, purely functional and immaculately clean… and I believe one’s home should be so much more). That said, I am certainly a proponent of keeping only what you need, use, love… what brings joy/inspiration and elicits other positive feelings. Your list of lies definitely taps into some of the psychology behind positive interior design; I agree that “eliminating the unnecessary… we can focus more on what really matters… evaluate [one’s] own thoughts and beliefs.” I also know that a great many people are feeling burdened/guilty about clutter and disorganization, so often paring down is a great first step to enhancing well-being and happiness at home. Pretty much brings us to baseline (perhaps “blank slate” is an appropriate phrase, since article is about minimalism), so that we can then enhance our surroundings to elicit positive emotions regularly. Love some of the comments posted, too!