There are two types of pursuits in life: those that can be completed and those that will never be finished.
For example, my desire to be a good parent will likely, never be completed. I will contine to grow and improve in this area over the course of my life as the seasons change. Likewise, my desire to be a faithful spouse, a good friend, and a contributing member of society around me.
On the other hand, there are some accomplishments fully completed. I graduated college. I ran a marathon. I wrote a book. I started a business. These desires represent completed goals.
This is a simple reality, but there is irreplaceable joy and opportunity for those who can accurately distinguish between the two. When we continue to pour resources into completed projects, we miss opportunity to direct those resources towards goals that continue.
Unfortunately, in a society built on constant and ever-increasing consumerism, there are countless voices arguing for us to confuse the two.
Consider this, when was the last time you looked at the clothes in your closet and thought, “Yup, that’s enough. I have accumulated enough. I’m done with this pursuit. It is complete.”
Perhaps never, right? This is because the world has told us we will never be finished buying clothes. Even if you have enough in your closet to last you the next 12 months, marketers will continue to convince you that you are not done—that the pursuit of fashionable fabric must continue.
For this reason, we rarely see the pursuit of physical possessions as a desire that can be completed or fully finished. Even if we have accumulated enough, there is still a “better” that we should continue to invest resources in pursuing.
So we look at our existing furniture and think how nice it would be to upgrade this chair or that rug. We desire a larger home, a newer car, a bigger paycheck, a stainless steel fridge, or granite countertop. No matter what we already possess, we seem to always desire more.
Buying things has become a pursuit with no finish line. (tweet that)
But take a look around. Is it possible there’s enough clothing already in your closet? Is there enough furniture already in your house? Is your home sufficient for you and your family? Do your kitchen appliances already meet your needs? Is your car sufficient to get you from Point A to Point B?
And if you already own enough clothing, furniture, or housing, maybe you can begin to see that pursuit as completed.
The next time you have a desire to buy something you don’t need, say to yourself, “Nope. I’m done buying clothes. I already have enough. I have met this desire and I am moving on to something else.”
There is a profound joy and opportunity that accompanies this realization because it allows us to redirect our finite resources towards more important pursuits—those that may never be fully completed.
If I spend less money and time and energy pursuing new clothes, expensive furniture, and more square footage, I have more money and time and energy to spend on being a good father, a faithful husband, and a contributing member of society.
And isn’t that the goal? To excel at the things in life that matter most and to remove those that don’t?
Jenni Bateman says
Just went through the ‘decluttering’ workshop, and have minimized most of our home. It wasn’t until I finally landed on my art studio that I found the ‘hard work’…but what a breath of fresh air!
I did an initial purge of paper (gads!), then was faced with ‘who I REALLY am as an artist’. Honesty hurts.
The local grade school was thrilled to have the teaching materials (40 of everything it takes to be the ‘art lady’).
I’m ready to do another purge – minimizing those materials that are hanging on.
I did notice during the ‘tour of your home’ that there doesn’t seem to be art – but inspirational posters. Art is healing. Art connects us to time and space. Art is a conversation starter. But, to everything, there is a season!
Here I go……..purge!
Sherry says
Even though I try VERY hard, I don’t think I will ever be done with buying books. It is an obsession worse than chocolate!
Cheryl says
Beautifully said!!
Ula says
I think many people focus on things that can be completed (courses for example) because they are measurable. Done. Yes or no. It’s easy.
But on the way of becoming a better parent – it’s never done. You can’t tick it of your list nor tell proudly to someone who you just met what exactly you’ve achieved.
We’re educated by tests, we’re learnt to fill forms – we love ticking of and numbers, and levels.
Abandoned Cubicle says
I just have to be more patient. I seem to always be looking ahead to when the kids are old enough for us to sell their strollers or strider bikes on Craigslist. I should instead stop to enjoy them at that stage of life, and tolerate some of the “extra stuff” that comes with a given age range. I guess I’ll feel I’ve “completed” something when the twins do cross into new stages, albeit wistfully.
Sherman says
Yes, this is a truth: And isn’t that the goal? To excel at the things in life that matter most and to remove those that don’t?
And, it is a never ending pursuit
Ebah Morphy says
Yes,Sherman, i cant agree more,its a never ending pursuit…
Chris says
Very beautiful description of opportunity costs. You have an eloquent, yet simple way with words.
Abbie says
Yes!
Abbie says
I can say “Enough!” about our home, income, toys, cars and furniture, but clothing is another matter.
There is a reason that in Spain they have a specific word for wearing an item the first time! It is fun and new – at least for some of us. I am working on it. Thanks for the encouragement!
Handcrafted Travellers says
With just three backpacks of belongings for our entire family I presume we are at the stage of having enough, the only thing missing is a more permanent home – that is next pursuit on the list to be completed… and then helping others to discover the same freedom we have found through minimalism.
Agilborder says
Great post! I think you are responsible for most of us getting or trying to get to this point. However, I feel like doing these things is like doing my “C” list. I am there. “C” list completed…only to be faced with now doing my “A” list, which I am really struggling to create. I know that sounds funny and backwards…that we release ourselves from these burdens to give us more time and energy for what?
I know I am wired to be a top notch “C” list completer and love ticking off those items, but completing the “enough” of shopping, closet clean out, reduction of useless stuff and ridding myself of unnecessary obligations of my time is done ( I’ve been following you for a while, haha). So now I am faced with the “what do I truly value, what do I truly want to do with my time and resources and it seems overwhelmingly hard to put into an “A” list because unlike the closet, household and time issues, it isn’t something you can tell me I should do. It is personal to each of us. I am really having trouble even getting started with this part of my life. It is the “Now What” part of the equation that I just don’t know where to start. I have time, I have energy, I have limited distractions..but where should I concentrate my efforts? I am fortunate enough to be retired, financially secure and healthy.
I know it is a good problem, but now that I have enough, don’t find shopping fulfilling, have lots of time…I am stumped. I think that I have spent so long pursuing stuff or following a job path to earn money that I have never ever thought of what I would do if those things were no longer necessary. Can you perhaps blog a bit with some suggestions of how to tackle this unknown world? You seem to blog, write books, enjoy yourself, but perhaps presenting what some of your readers have pursued once they reach the “C” list completed stage could be helpful.
Thanks for getting me this far!
Allison says
I am still in the process but completely understand your dilemma. I used to be a shopaholic and have spent months without going shopping besides groceries. I have more time but unlike you I am not healthy mentally or physically and my finances are nothing to be envied. This makes me depressed most of the time regardless of the extra time I don’t have the extra energy causing me to be where I am now, stagnant, unmotivated and with a lot of time spent in bed.
Jan says
Hi Allison,
Congratulations on your progress with not being a shopaholic any more! I can relate! I live alone and I was thinking the other day as I was out that I think part of the reason I would go shop was to avoid going home to my cluttered house and being alone. It was very different since beginning this course to think, hmmm…there is nothing I need so I will just go home! And…as I clean up the clutter I feel better about being there!
Depression is tough though because it’s hard to get going. I’ve been there too. Have you talked to your Dr. about how you’re feeling? Maybe there is something he can recommend to give enough momentum to jump start your motivation. Even baby steps are great! Don’t give up! :) We’re all cheering for you!
My faith helps me so much so I will of course be praying for you too! :)
Virtual hugs to you,
Jan
Eve says
I would look for a group to join that shares your passion for something. Maybe a cooking group or reading group. Maybe studying the stars. There’s always a group near by for something you like.
I realized that I was avoiding getting involved with people and blaming it on my illness ( PRP) or lack of money but I think once you put yourself out there, you will find you look forward to it. You will feel better. Just my solution anyway.
Debbie says
Maybe you could try volunteer work, or finding something that you can be passionate about?
Barb says
I think the ‘now what’ feeling is a very common problem and the reason it is sooo easy to entice so many into needless shopping and all the other “C” list pursuits.
I find breathing deeply and just noticing that itchy, uncomfortable feeling helps. It doesn’t necessarily go away. It’s part of the human condition. And once we stop numbing it with “the pursuit of fashionable fabric”, we can ask the bigger questions and let the real adventures begin.
Jennifer says
I am particularly excited for you! Well done with everything that you have accomplished to get to this point!
Your “A” list will present itself to you in time, maybe you’re just being blessed at this time with a period of rest after a lifetime of completing your “C” list. Go for walks, read some good books (or crappy books, but just enjoy some down time reading), listen to podcasts, watch TED talks, colour. Your “A” list will come to you.
Nancy says
We were early retiree’s after the VA deemed my husband 100% disabled, at fifty years old. We were already debt free as it had been our goal for years. Take some time to think about things you enjoyed doing in your spare time when you were still working, and go from there. We renewed our old love of gardening..gardens are a never finished hobby…and spend hours building doll houses and the tiny miniatures to adorn them…the days fly by!…
MANAS DAS says
Excellent writing – but who can read and appreciate? One has to have that kind of passion to understand it. The world will be much better if some of the ideas expressed by one tenth of world population.
beth says
I truly agree with you!