“We always pay dearly for chasing after what is cheap.” —Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
Six years ago, we sold, donated, and discarded most of our material possessions. It was a decision based on discontent with our current lives. We were tired of living paycheck to paycheck—never able to get ahead. And we were growing weary of all the time, energy, and effort our material possessions were draining from us. We realized we had too few resources left over for the things most important to us.
Not only were our possessions not adding joy to our lives, they were distracting us from the very things that did.
Since embarking on this life-giving journey, we have found this lifestyle resonates with most people who are introduced to it. Most of us know we own too much stuff. We have seen the pursuit of minimalism transform the lives of young couples, parents, and older generations. But one of our greatest desires is to also inspire teenagers to become conscience consumers and build a better life by owning less.
There are, of course, significant challenges in reaching teenagers with the message of owning less:
- Our world grows increasingly materialistic.
- Teenagers value acceptance and conformity with their peers.
- Advertisers routinely and intentionally target the young adult demographic.
- Teenagers are beginning to explore their own decision-making. As a result, they are often less likely to value input from others—particularly parents.
The challenges are formidable. But we also recognize the benefits of reaching students with the message of conscious consumerism:
- Many of their significant decisions are still ahead of them. The message of simplicity helps equip them to make wise ones.
- They are not in debt—yet. As a result, they are not held captive under the weight of creditors (especially housing, cars, student loans).
- Their spending habits are not yet formed. They are definitely being shaped, but are not fully determined.
We must recognize the challenges before us. But, as parents ourselves, we also understand the importance of sparing our teenagers from decades of financial burden and empty promises of fulfillment. We recognize an important opportunity to inspire teenagers to pursue lives of greater value.
As parents, mentors, and community members, consider embracing these 10 important tips for raising consumer conscious teenagers in an age of excess:
1. Model simplicity. The cliche rings true, “Life lessons are better caught than taught.” The first (and most important) step in raising minimalist teenagers is to model for them the joys and benefits of intentionally living with less.
2. Encourage idealism. Many teenagers embrace idealism and desire to find a cause that can change the world. But far too often, teenage idealism is misunderstood and/or discouraged. It ought to be encouraged. Allow children of all ages to dream bigger dreams than cozy homes, cool cars, and white picket fences.
3. Volunteer as a family. Be active offering your time in the community through a local food bank, soup kitchen or community organization that serves the underprivileged in your area.
4. Watch less television. It’s not as hard as you think—and has immediate, positive results for you and your child.
5. Make teenagers pay for expensive items themselves. Every parent ought to provide food, clothing, shelter, and basic necessities. And every parent should give good gifts to their kids. But asking your teenager to purchase expensive items with their own money will create a stronger sense of ownership and a better understanding of the relationship between work, money, and consumerism.
6. Encourage teenagers to recognize the underlying message in advertising. Advertisements are not going away and can never be completely avoided. Help your child read behind the marketing message by often asking, “What are they really trying to sell you with this advertisement? Do you think that product will deliver on its promise?” If luck is in your favor, it can even become a fun little game in your family.
7. Find an ally. By the time your children have reached the teenage years, your role as a parent has changed significantly. In most families, teenagers are beginning to express independence in their relationship with their parents … but that doesn’t mean they’ll never listen. Find an accompanying voice in your community that subscribes to your values and provide opportunities for him/her to speak into your teenager’s life.
8. Discourage entitlement in your family. Often times, as parents, we work hard to ensure a significant advantage for our children by providing for them at all costs. But as we do, we equally run the risk of not preparing them for life by neglecting to teach them the truths of responsibility. It is hard work maintaining the possessions of life (lawns have to be mowed, cars cleaned & maintained, laundry sorted, rooms tidied). Expose teenagers to this truth as early (and as often) as possible.
9. Travel to less developed countries. This world is big and the cultures are varied. Some of the most teachable moments of my teenage years occurred while visiting third-world countries and experiencing the living conditions of those who live on so little (an estimated 6 billion people live on less than $13,000/year). Their joy and peace has served as an inspiration to me even up to this day.
10. Teach them what matters most is not what they own, but who they are. A man or woman of noble character holds a far greater asset than those who have traded it for material possessions. Believe this truth. Live this truth. And remind the teenagers in your life of it as often as possible.
We have chased happiness, joy, and fulfillment in the pursuit of riches and possessions for far too long. (tweet that)
It is time we intentionally raise a generation that values greater things.
Yan Tougas says
Thank you Joshua. Tip #2 is something I had not directly considered before. I intend to engage my kids in this area and encourage their idealism. This is a very positive message.
Laurie says
When I first heard of minimalism, I was hooked. We had a house stuffed with things. We now have a camper and all our belongings (except for a few special items stored at my husband’s parents’ home) are with us. I love having less space, less to maintain. Though it does get crowded sometimes with nine people; I don’t think I’d ever want to go back to a house!
aly c. says
Joshua, Oh how I wish I had grown up this way. My family did live minimally to some extent, but I left home with no concept of the value of money and things. Many future adults are going to benefit from what you have shared here, my friend.
Hudson Burgess says
My family’s consumerist lifestyle is actually what drove me to minimalism. Our house is too big and too cluttered and it’s surprisingly exhausting just to be in it, especially coming back from a year of college during which I actively pursued minimalism. I start my second year in the fall and will be moving into my rental house soon; I’m looking forward to the opportunity to take only the items I truly need and set an example for myself, my friends, and my family.
Kelvin says
Right on Joshua!
It’s much easier to instill these values when our children are pre-teens. And I have to agree, it’s something we model from the top vs. telling. Making it fun and having open dialog about advertising, the need to share or not having an entitled mindset also encourages our children to think and make decisions on their own.
Applying these tips will make our children better people.
Great post!
Julie Buchanan says
As usual Josh, you are right on point. I am raising four children, including my oldest, a young teenager, to intentionally live with less. (I find the irony in the fact that my fat fingers tried to type “mess” instead of “less” three times above.) Just this past weekend we had a garage sale. My children asked if we were selling our things because we “need the money?” I responded, “No guys. We are selling these things because we don’t need the burden of these things that have outlived their purpose here.” I love that you refer to minimalism as “live-giving.” This sentiment couldn’t be more true. I was sure to point that out as special items they were once attached to found new homes with the strangers who walked off with them for pennies on the dollar. To my youngest son of six, “See, that push car is going to make a new little boy just as happy as you once were the day it came home to you! Aren’t you excited for him to feel that way too?” And the highlight of the day, when my teen who selected several books and video games of his to sell asked if he could keep the money from his portion of the sale. I said, sure but only if you save it for at least a month. I want you to really think about how you’d like to trade that money. He asked me, “trade it?” And I said, “Yes. Every purchase we make is nothing more than a trade for our hard-earned money in exchange for something we feel is more important to have. So be thinking about how it felt to trade those books and games for the few bucks you got and be sure what you trade those for is worth parting with them.” He replied, “I really want new game cards. But I’ll wait a month to make you happy Mom.” Oiy. Baby steps ;)
Ed Herzog says
I don’t have kids of my own (perhaps someday!) but I remember something my mom did with my younger sister. Every time she received something new, she had to get rid of something. That forced my sister to decide which of her possessions were most important to her and which she could live without.
Unfortunately, my sister hasn’t carried that on with her own kids, who now live in a house overrun with more toys than they could ever possibly use. As much as I love my nieces and nephews, I sometimes feel guilty buying them Christmas presents, knowing they don’t what I’m giving them.
whereisb says
I have a niece and nephew, 8 and 6 respectively, who live in a house that is full of toys. For Christmas and birthdays they receive an abundance of toys. After tearing one gift open they’ll toss it aside and grab the next gift. A few years ago I decided that I would provide experiences, not toys. Whether it’s Christmas lights at the zoo and ice sculptures while sipping hot chocolate, a day at an amusement park or the children’s museum, an arcade, or racing go-carts, these are the things they remember and they look forward to their new adventures with Auntie B. What’s even better is that I can find new ideas for family and kid friendly experiences on daily discount sites like Groupon and Living Social.
Judy says
I know what you mean. I go through the same thing with one particular nephew. Unless it’s some expensive electronic toy—he will rudely toss it to the side. And I refuse to indulge him. I can’t believe his parents allow that. I always taught my girls to say thank you and be appreciative no matter what…even if it was a gift they weren’t wild about. How sad…and some children would be happy for a scrap of food or clean drinking water! Not this kid. He even broke a toy I gave him once. Cracked it in half and said, “This is crap!” He’s 7…and his parents said nothing! Unreal.
Marissa P says
We are still trying to convince extended family that our kids would love experiences more than things as presents. It could be a lunch date or a special event. It could be a gift certificate to play Lazer-Tag or money towards the new sport or summer camp they want to try. One of my kid’s favorite gifts was a year subscription to Highlights (kids) magazine, from their aunt. They loved watching the mailbox anticipating it each month and then pouring over it for weeks. Plus, each month it gave them a little reminder that their Aunt loved them. If you wanted you could even do the same thing by sending them a little note or card once a month. Those are the kind of things they will remember.
BrownVagabonder says
I absolutely believe in the value of travelling to a less-developed country as a child or teenager to see those less fortunate. It changes the perspective of a young person when they see someone who is living on far less than themselves and are happier for it.
It is enlightening and eye-opening not only for adults but for children who are introduced to people in less developed countries, who are introduced to the way these individuals live, their homes, their possessions, and everything else. It changes them from the inside out. I have seen that time and time again.
balabushka says
Nr. 9 changed my life completely – I lived some time in India as a twen…
Vincent Nguyen says
Great message, Joshua.
Although I’m no longer there, it’d be great to have you give a talk at EMCC. I started a volunteer club while I was there and I believe they’re still going strong (one of the most active clubs, I believe.) Would love to put you in touch with some of their current leaders.
I think it’s about 15 minutes away from you if I’m remembering correctly.
Mandy Tirado says
It seems to start young. My girls, even now at 5 and 6 need constant reminding that “toys don’t bring joy”. Jesus does.
Vincent Nguyen says
Without a doubt it’d be more beneficial to hear the message while you’re younger, but college kids could use a little help too. :)