Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Claire Wilde.
Embracing simplicity: the idea just sounds so good, doesn’t it? Can’t you just feel those tense shoulders loosening at the thought?
So many people feel overwhelmed, overworked, and overloaded, often living in homes which are overfilled… yearning for a simpler way to live.
A couple of years ago, I too was crying out for simplicity in my life, my bank balance, my schedule, my mind, and most definitely my home. I had somehow accrued a lot of consumer debt through a spending habit which never brought me happiness.
Becoming Minimalist and a handful of other sites inspired me to make some big changes, which in the end, came easier than I had thought.
First, I stopped buying things I didn’t need. It was a transformation. The stream of gadgets and trinkets coming into my life dried up. Sure enough, my thirst for new toys soon dried up along with it.
This in turn allowed me to simplify my money. I began spending less than I made. Whereas once I was drowning in debt, now I am surfacing. Soon I’ll be breathing again.
Then, once I had asked myself how I could be a more responsible consumer, I started asking myself how else I might be a better and happier person. Where I had been prone to envy, too often comparing myself with others, my focus gradually began to shift. Of course, I’m not magically immune from jealousy now, but at least I recognize it when it does rear its ugly head.
Simplicity has also allowed me to rethink and readjust the way I spend my time. Much of this has been easy, like selling all my computer games and rediscovering the simple pleasure of curling up with a book.
But there’s no doubt about it, I have found one aspect of simplifying very, very hard: drastically reducing the number of possessions I already own.
I have gone from having far too many things, to having a few too many things. This alone has taken more than two years, and I have to confess to feeling frustrated at times with my slow progress.
It was easy at first: gathering up a box of unwanted belongings gave me a thrill each and every time. But then, out of nowhere, I hit a wall. And I’ve been struggling to push through it ever since.
I’ve removed a third of my belongings. But I still own neglected nineties CDs and reference books I never use. I think I have not one, but two dead laptops haunting me. And I definitely have a lava lamp with no bulb, in a box somewhere.
I recently decided to start over, and now after a period of reflection and inspiration, I’m fired up and ready once again to dig deeper, go further, do better.
If you want to declutter your home but have ever felt frustration or disappointment with a lack of progress, know that you are not alone and it’s okay. While some people feel able to jettison all their stuff overnight, others will take their time.
Here are eight ideas for when you’re struggling to declutter:
1. Take things one step at a time.
If you are struggling with overwhelm, concentrate on one room, one piece of storage, or even one shelf at a time—especially if the job as a whole seems insurmountable. Your speed doesn’t matter, a step forward is still a step forward.
2. Find your people.
Online support can be a huge help, but there is nothing like meeting up face-to-face with other people who are pursuing simplicity. Depending on your immediate surroundings, this may or may not be easy to do. But the more you share your story of the change you are trying to make, the more people you will find drawn to it.
3. Take before-and-after photos.
Often times, being able to see the progress you have already made is helpful —especially if we start to feel frustrated during the process.
4. Do half-a-job (at least for now).
So you still have, let’s say, a vintage teddy bear collection and you’re afraid to say goodbye to it completely. Could you let go of half of them? This strategy can be particularly helpful for some of those hard-to-remove items (books, sentimental collections, souvenirs, hobby stuff).
5. Inject some fun into the process.
There are loads of decluttering games you can play. I came up with one called the five-in-five challenge: can you find five items you don’t want in just five minutes? You could even challenge your whole household to compete against each other. Or check out some of these decluttering tips.
6. Quarantine your belongings.
Try boxing up items you fear you might need one day, and hide them away for a set period of time before letting them go. If there’s anything in there you truly do need, you’ll realize before you’ve given it away.
7. Work out your weak-points.
What have you found easy to declutter, and what have you found hard? Why is that? Perhaps you worry you’d later regret saying goodbye to sentimental trinkets or just-in-case items? Maybe giving away expensive toys is a painful reminder of what little value they gave you? Perhaps your conscience stops you from tossing items you can’t recycle? Whatever the hurdle is, there will be a way around it. It may take more time and self-reflection than other areas in your home, but don’t fear the process—it’s always beneficial in the long-run.
8. Practice self-compassion.
Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not seeing instant results. You might take a while to get to where you need to be. That’s okay. If you’re bringing less into your home than you are sending out, you’re decluttering. You’re heading to the same destination, you’re just taking a little longer to get there.
Additional Resources:
Kim says
I love the decluttering process – so much that I often offer to help others. However, the things I get stuck on are clothes that are not in good condition, but I still wear. I don’t want to spend the money to buy new clothes, but at some point I definitely should!
Also, wondering if anyone else has suggestions for old journals. I have kept a journal for year – they take up so much space and I never read them. I’m thinking of sorting through and scanning any pages that are meaningful to save them digitally, but this is a LOT of work.
Gina says
I’ll be selling my house and moving to an apartment, and though getting rid of stuff doesn’t affect me psychologically — I have changed country more than once and I actually enjoy starting over — the sheer amount of work seemed overwhelming.
My strategy has consisted of hiring a cleaning lady for two hours a week. Together we have been spending most of that time going over every single item in my house. What’s great is she’s not attached to anything, so if I say “throw it away”, she doesn’t question my decision! She also has a great personality and I enjoy her company. I shall miss her when the job is done!
Vicky says
Trish, have you tried Marie Kondo’s technique? If your paintings spark joy for you, keep them and feel good about it. If not, thank them for the pleasure they gave you and your family in the past, and let them go. It’s a really liberating and simple technique which has helped me and lots of my friends.
Trish Mercer says
I have Kondo’d my bedroom and closet, but didn’t realize I should do it with the paintings. Good point!
Alaine says
I tackled the paper work that needs filing! Ugh! I hate that! Shredded a lot, found maps from trips last year-recycled! Gathering all papers for the taxes. Made the CPA appointment, do now I have motivation! Physically, mentally, emotionally-I’m drained! I do exercise, eat mostly healthy- it’s just life that has me bogged down. Some of it is my commitments, which I’m reevaluating, to do less sometimes I think that the busyness of our life needs to be downsized also. Put my gym membership on hold for awhile and just walk and enjoy nature.
Primal Prosperity says
I’m pretty pared down, but I still try to go through my things once a month or so and take stock that I’m not accumulating things I don’t need. I definitely use the trick of packing something up that you are unsure of and then make a choice later on.
Also, I am just finding that as I get older (I’m 43), I don’t want any attachment to any one item. It is a very freeing feeling.
Judy says
I really needed this today. We collected 3 large garbage bags of jeans and tops from 3X down and my husband even went through every single piece of his clothing with me yesterday on his day off. These are perfectly good clothes from places like LLBean and the only thing wrong is they don’t fit anymore!I have had a total hysterectomy and open heart surgery just 10 days later and everything is great now… no cancer and heart is doing well. My problem is after this weight loss, I am having a problem letting go of clothes just in case… but there can be no weight gain again….I do feel wasteful just giving them away…. but they are going tonight! I have sorted my kitchen and am ready to purge some more… didn’t miss a thing I got rid of the first time. We live in a 1000 sq. ft. home so simplifying has been a way of life forever… but as we approach retirement, I have a fear of not being able to maybe get something new if we miss it…. your articles help me keep on track and think straight! I have purged my kitchen once and going for the second round…it felt so freeing! I always purge my bathroom twice a year and check dates on meds and we try to do a “moving clean” once a year… everything out of the room like we are moving into a new home…. one of the blessings of a small house. My biggest challenge will be our basement where we have stored a few (too many) items that we could not part with quite yet…it has been a year so what we have not used will be offered to family members first and then donated. I don’t know why parting with the clothing is being so hard for me…. maybe scared I will gain my weight back if I get rid of them….I guess I just needed to say this and thank everyone for the support this site has offered me. When I get tired and sit for a glass of tea while working… I come to this site and get refreshed and back to work I go. Thanks!
Jude says
I’m on this, trying, it’s a slow process.
Even though we moved just over a year ago, purged quite a bit, and probably have much less ‘stuff’ than many people our age (late 50s) we still moved a bunch of things from basement to basement.
It helps me to think about who might want, need, and use the things I have in boxes in the basement or hanging, unworn, in my closet.
This may sound dark but I also think about what a burden it would be for our kids to go through all our things if something happened to both of us. I went through that when my mama died in 2015, and it was brutal. I have friends that have gone through it, too.
So I think of needing and having less, of the neatness and simplicity of that, of giving things to folks that can use them NOW, and of making things easier for us and our kids. That is helping to motivate me.
Thanks for the great article!
Judy says
I admire you! I wanted to share, my father in law had moved all of his mothers stuff to their basement after she passed and when we went through their house we also had to go through all of grandma’s stuff that he could not get rid of himself….I hope your kids will appreciate your thoughtfulness! We don’t have children so I am hoping our nieces and nephews will appreciate the things we share with them now and the fact that there won’t be too much for them to go through later. I really needed you post today as I am struggling to part with clothes after losing weight…. thanks!
Janet says
Totally get this as my siblings and I had to do this when we lost each parent. Now I have inherited several tubs of family history. This is one of my biggest challenges, but I don’t want my younger brother and sister to have to deal with all this! I am now retired, but keep a busy schedule. Just need to commit time to delving in and deciding what is necessary to keep.
Trish Mercer says
The items I’m trying hardest to get rid of (especially since we’re moving cross country soon) are painting I did back in high school in the 1980s. Technically, they’re very good, but they’re copies of posters, so originality is lacking.
I’ve never displayed these paintings (because I simply don’t want to), but carted them in a large box for nearly 30 years. They are a reminder of a hobby I gave up, of talent I should try to revive some year, of items lovingly framed by my now-gone parents, and they haunt me!
This article is helping me get closer to tossing those, but anyone have a thought-process I can use to finally be rid of these albatrosses?
Nina says
Asia they are already framed and good quality, would there be places to donate them, to give joy to other people? Maybe some plain and boring waiting rooms or offices? If youtube donate them one by one, it proably doesn’t feel so dramatic.
Trish Mercer says
Great idea!
Grace says
Paint over them with something original. Maybe it’s time to revive your creative side again. However, take a picture. If you do paint over them but haven’t a home for them you might want to gift them.
Trish Mercer says
I have taken the pictures of them, so yes–I should do that!
Diane Barnett says
Trish, have you thought about taking photographs of your paintings, then donating them? If they can’t be sold since they are copies, an art teacher or an artist may be able to paint over them. A senior center that has an art class might also be able to reuse them this way. Photos would help you keep them without exactly keeping them – a lot less space! – and donating them might help you feel good about letting them go.
Trish Mercer says
I agree–it’s time to let someone enjoy them, in whatever way they might, so I don’t have to carry this burden!
Linda says
Do you have a favourite? Can you keep one and hang it in your home? Otherwise, I say give the lot to a second hand store, preferably a charity.
Handcrafted Travellers says
When I go about uncluttering, I try not to think only about the physical items in my life, but the emotional and intangible stuff as well. Clutter comes in all shapes and forms and learning how to manage the flow is perhaps the best step in learning how to declutter. Taking pictures of the process is a great idea, kind of like a weight loss plan!
Karen Shinn says
At Downsizing Diva, we’ve been helping people downsize, organize and move for over 16 years.
At a recent Team Leader meeting, we created a list of 99 things we find most of the time when we are helping people downsize.
This list became our “Are you a SQUIRREL-er?” hand-out and “Laugh + Learn” presentation. We found that letting go of the stuff on this list (Articles to read, .Baby clothes, Bags of bags, Bars of soap, Batteries, Bedding, Belts, . Bibles, Body lotions, Boxes of boxes, Bread ties…) was a really good place to start downsizing!
We tell our clients that it is “easy for me to let go of your stuff, but when it comes to letting go of my own stuff…well, that’s a different story!”
When you get stuck, it might help to have a trusted and objective friend help. I know it worked for me!
kim domingue says
I just commented to someone at Apartment Therapy on this very thing today. It’s easy for me to let go of your stuff. Give me half an hour and I’ll find a hundred or more things to let go of for you. But letting go of MY stuff? Totally different story! A half hour amongst my own stuff might find me with two things to put in the outbox…..and I’ll be on the fence about one of them!