“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss
All told, the average consumer intends to spend $907 on gifts this holiday season—and this figure does not include other seasonal spending: food, decorations, and other holiday items. Some surveys predict Americans will spend nearly $900 billion during the winter holiday season.
Unfortunately, the entire holiday shopping craze is based on unhealthy foundations. It finds its roots in a society conditioned to act on impulse and solve problems with purchases. It is spurred on by corporations appealing to the aspects of us that are selfish and self-centered. And the short-sighted philosophy fueling the excess is the belief we can find happiness in our purchases. But the premise is wrong.
We recognize it each December as the cycle of holiday spending begins again. We recognize it next month as the conversation inevitably turns to diets, home organization, and debt relief. Even more, if we look close enough, we can notice the foolishness of our thinking next week as our trash bins overflow with the pre-packaged waste of the holiday season.
Happiness simply can not be purchased at a store.
In fact, we can do far better than holiday shopping:
We can be content with our possessions.
We can realize our contentment in life is never found in our outward circumstances. Contentment (and happiness) is found in the decision to recognize the opportunity already exists and choosing to accept it.
Deciding to be content with our current level of possessions is one of the most freeing decisions any of us can ever make. And it opens the doorway to countless possibilities.
We can value experiences over possessions.
Removing ourselves from the holiday shopping frenzy does not mean we give up all opportunity to express love through gifts. In fact, there are a number of wonderful gift ideas that could be explored.
One of the sweetest is the simple idea to gift experiences rather than products this holiday season. You and the receiver may be pleasantly surprised at its value in a world where mass consumption is commonplace.
We can choose to value relationships over purchases.
Gift-giving is an interesting arrangement. We sacrifice our time and money in an effort to put something manufactured into a box for the purpose of showing love to someone else.
According to statistics, we will spend over 15 hours in the next 30 days shopping for these gifts. What if we decided to spend that time with our loved ones rather than at a store shopping for them?
Consider how sweet our holiday season could become if we chose to invest those 15 hours in real relationship with one another. In today’s world, 60 minutes of fully-devoted listening ears is priceless and far more valuable than anything you can buy anyway.
We can choose to act responsibly.
Rather than adding consumer debt and extra stress to our lives, we can choose to act responsibly this holiday season with our finances. We can intentionally stand up against the cultural pressure to spend money and instead, act mindfully with it.
Rather than adding debt this holiday season, perhaps we could choose to pay it down instead. Imagine that.
We can invest our money into social good.
There are desperate needs all around us: internationally, nationally, and locally. While many of us search department store shelves to find the perfect gift for “someone who has everything,” 768 million people do not have access to clean drinking water, millions of orphaned children are growing up in institutional orphanages, and 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation.
But the needs are not always across the water, many are local. Rather than buying scented gift boxes, our money could be used to make this world better and life more tolerable for countless others. It would be wise for us to start recognizing this opportunity.
We can choose to pursue more lasting meaning.
Each new day offers new opportunity to accomplish something new with our lives. We can create rather than consume, we can explore new learning opportunities, or we can bring about lasting change and significance. December does not need to be a month lost to overcommitted schedules and crowded lines at the cash register. We can do better than that. Just like any other month, we can use this one to further pursue meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. And based on the ads I’ve been seeing this year, those things are still not for sale.
We can remember our world’s resources are limited.
Moses Henry Cass once said, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” And it rings true in my mind as one of the most significant and thoughtful phrases concerning our responsibility with the natural resources available to us.
This holiday season, we ought to keep in mind our world’s resources are indeed limited. And choose to shop (or not shop) responsibly.
We can be a better example for our kids.
Many parents will fret over the possibility that their children will be disappointed on Christmas morning if they don’t receive enough (or just the right) toys. This is too bad because our concern is misplaced.
We can teach our children valuable lessons this holiday season. We can teach them about spending within their means. We can teach them about caring for those less fortunate. We can teach them about love and sacrifice and contentment—and how none of those are dependent upon a bank account.
This is a valuable season for parents. Let’s not waste it by focusing more on holiday shopping than parenting.
We can remember the reason for our celebration.
For many—including our family—the holiday season has rich roots in religion and spirituality. For others, the season represents family, friends, or giving. But regardless, at its heart, it is a season of celebration. Yet many of us have traded the beautiful reason for the season for the tireless pursuit of the perfect Christmas as exemplified on television and in catalogs. We have tried to buy the perfect Christmas. And as a result, many of us will spend more time looking for parking places than we do creating space to celebrate the very meaning of it.
Now, don’t read me wrong. I’m not proposing we need to avoid all holiday shopping over the coming weeks. I’m only arguing we can do better—much better.
Kristen Turner says
I will be making a gift for everyone this year, and if people don’t like that well that’s fine with me. Less hard work I have to to do next year, :) Between my sisters and I, we have NINE children…that’s a lot of gifts to BUY.. no no no… I will not. Each child will be getting a little keepsake, or a “spend the day with Auntie” voucher… for a “craft mania day” Crayon making, “learn to sew” etc… the “littles” (or those who live in different states) will get a keepsake made just for them. I’m saying no this year.. and every year after this. We have ENOUGH STUFF.. :)
Sara says
For the last few years I have been giving the gift of memories. Instead if spending $$$$ on presents we have saved it and spent it on vacation with extended family. My kids get to see their cousins and grandparents. They have a memory they will cherish for a life time what better gift could I give them then a relationship with their grandma and grandpa???
joshua becker says
Fantastic! I love it.
Brad says
Wonderful post Joshua. I completely agree and have been shifting my life in this direction for many years. To a world where experience and quality of life are more important than possessions. Thanks, Brad
Teresa says
For the first time EVER, Christmas will be different at our house. One toy for each of the GKids and a years membership to Discovery Center. I always give our kids a wallet with gift cards inside that they seem to like and a bunch of other stuff. This year they will be getting much less. I am tired of gifts that break the budget and cause stress.
joshua becker says
I’m confident it will wonderful and memorable.
Tiffany says
Love this post. We’ve asked our family to donate to charity instead of give us gifts. We also really limited what we bought for our own little one. I am hitting the stores for the Black Friday sales, though. Going to take advantage of the sales to get gifts for the foster child we are sponsoring for Christmas. I figure that’s the best kind of shopping I can do today!
joshua becker says
Thank you for sponsoring a foster child this Christmas. I don’t know if you clicked through the link above (many are local), but it led to a story discussing the foster care crisis we are facing in this country. Thanks for being part of the solution.
Mindy says
We started the tradition years ago, when we only had one child, to do the 4 gifts rule: something you Want, Need, to Wear and Read. We use this guide for birthdays and christmas. This allows me to be able to shop anytime, and not pay any mind to ads or the hype of it all, because I can get those things throughout the year. I knew that we had limited funds (and that we probably always would) and I wanted to teach my children that we would be living within those means, so we had to be sensible even with gift giving.
Since all us siblings were grown and having families we also had to have that tough discussion with the extended family, that we just couldn’t continue to give gifts to everyone. Luckily everyone understood, and now the get-together IS the gift.
This year, our family’s big gift is a day trip to “the big city”. I hope that we will make some good memories for them to remember.
joshua becker says
I’m sure you will. Our family gift last year was a trip to Disneyland. Needless to say, the memories are secured forever—and little jokes from the trip popped up all year long.
vivian says
Excellent article
Amy says
I have been inspired by your blog. I am trying hard to content with what I have. I want my kids to have this freedom. I have a niece who is the most content young adult I know. Her mother did a very good job with her. She chooses to be happy with what she has.
For Christmas last year for our boys we gave them a Disney Cruise. Now I use to think that sound over the top. However, we too, thanks to reading your blog have decided we would much rather have less “stuff” and have more money to spend on travel. It was a bit of a disappointment for the boys Christmas morning because to a child waiting to go on that trip in march was a lifetime away. However they ask every other week when we can please go on a Disney Cruise again. The memories do not get thrown out in the trash can! They never break, rust, or become boring to play with:-)
Lindsey says
This is exactly what my heart has told me all of these years. I’m glad my family is awesome enough to agree with it! Thank you for putting this perspective in writing!
Christine says
Amen!
Annie says
Well said. My family has evolved to where we carefully consider what we include in our Christmas Wish Lists so that the items are things we truly want and will use and enjoy for a long, long time to come. We also include experiential gifts and gifts of donation to causes we wish to support. While we do enjoy the gift exchange, we look forward more to the time spent together and the traditions we have established over the years.
We are also careful to budget for the holiday so that we do not go into debt because of it. We set aside a reasonable amount to spend and stick to that, even if it means doing without some things. It’s taken some time to establish this way of celebrating, but it has been well worth it.
joshua becker says
Sounds quite wise Annie. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Darryl Parker says
Thanks for this.
joshua becker says
You are welcome. Enjoy your holiday season.