“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss
All told, the average consumer intends to spend $907 on gifts this holiday season—and this figure does not include other seasonal spending: food, decorations, and other holiday items. Some surveys predict Americans will spend nearly $900 billion during the winter holiday season.
Unfortunately, the entire holiday shopping craze is based on unhealthy foundations. It finds its roots in a society conditioned to act on impulse and solve problems with purchases. It is spurred on by corporations appealing to the aspects of us that are selfish and self-centered. And the short-sighted philosophy fueling the excess is the belief we can find happiness in our purchases. But the premise is wrong.
We recognize it each December as the cycle of holiday spending begins again. We recognize it next month as the conversation inevitably turns to diets, home organization, and debt relief. Even more, if we look close enough, we can notice the foolishness of our thinking next week as our trash bins overflow with the pre-packaged waste of the holiday season.
Happiness simply can not be purchased at a store.
In fact, we can do far better than holiday shopping:
We can be content with our possessions.
We can realize our contentment in life is never found in our outward circumstances. Contentment (and happiness) is found in the decision to recognize the opportunity already exists and choosing to accept it.
Deciding to be content with our current level of possessions is one of the most freeing decisions any of us can ever make. And it opens the doorway to countless possibilities.
We can value experiences over possessions.
Removing ourselves from the holiday shopping frenzy does not mean we give up all opportunity to express love through gifts. In fact, there are a number of wonderful gift ideas that could be explored.
One of the sweetest is the simple idea to gift experiences rather than products this holiday season. You and the receiver may be pleasantly surprised at its value in a world where mass consumption is commonplace.
We can choose to value relationships over purchases.
Gift-giving is an interesting arrangement. We sacrifice our time and money in an effort to put something manufactured into a box for the purpose of showing love to someone else.
According to statistics, we will spend over 15 hours in the next 30 days shopping for these gifts. What if we decided to spend that time with our loved ones rather than at a store shopping for them?
Consider how sweet our holiday season could become if we chose to invest those 15 hours in real relationship with one another. In today’s world, 60 minutes of fully-devoted listening ears is priceless and far more valuable than anything you can buy anyway.
We can choose to act responsibly.
Rather than adding consumer debt and extra stress to our lives, we can choose to act responsibly this holiday season with our finances. We can intentionally stand up against the cultural pressure to spend money and instead, act mindfully with it.
Rather than adding debt this holiday season, perhaps we could choose to pay it down instead. Imagine that.
We can invest our money into social good.
There are desperate needs all around us: internationally, nationally, and locally. While many of us search department store shelves to find the perfect gift for “someone who has everything,” 768 million people do not have access to clean drinking water, millions of orphaned children are growing up in institutional orphanages, and 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation.
But the needs are not always across the water, many are local. Rather than buying scented gift boxes, our money could be used to make this world better and life more tolerable for countless others. It would be wise for us to start recognizing this opportunity.
We can choose to pursue more lasting meaning.
Each new day offers new opportunity to accomplish something new with our lives. We can create rather than consume, we can explore new learning opportunities, or we can bring about lasting change and significance. December does not need to be a month lost to overcommitted schedules and crowded lines at the cash register. We can do better than that. Just like any other month, we can use this one to further pursue meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. And based on the ads I’ve been seeing this year, those things are still not for sale.
We can remember our world’s resources are limited.
Moses Henry Cass once said, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” And it rings true in my mind as one of the most significant and thoughtful phrases concerning our responsibility with the natural resources available to us.
This holiday season, we ought to keep in mind our world’s resources are indeed limited. And choose to shop (or not shop) responsibly.
We can be a better example for our kids.
Many parents will fret over the possibility that their children will be disappointed on Christmas morning if they don’t receive enough (or just the right) toys. This is too bad because our concern is misplaced.
We can teach our children valuable lessons this holiday season. We can teach them about spending within their means. We can teach them about caring for those less fortunate. We can teach them about love and sacrifice and contentment—and how none of those are dependent upon a bank account.
This is a valuable season for parents. Let’s not waste it by focusing more on holiday shopping than parenting.
We can remember the reason for our celebration.
For many—including our family—the holiday season has rich roots in religion and spirituality. For others, the season represents family, friends, or giving. But regardless, at its heart, it is a season of celebration. Yet many of us have traded the beautiful reason for the season for the tireless pursuit of the perfect Christmas as exemplified on television and in catalogs. We have tried to buy the perfect Christmas. And as a result, many of us will spend more time looking for parking places than we do creating space to celebrate the very meaning of it.
Now, don’t read me wrong. I’m not proposing we need to avoid all holiday shopping over the coming weeks. I’m only arguing we can do better—much better.
Jon says
This is one of the best things you have ever written. Thank you for having the courage and keep writing.
Amy says
I love this! This is exactly what my organization is talking about! I love your posts and your perspective. I am by no means a minimalist but it is my goal and I am taking baby steps! After giving my engagement ring in order to provide clean drinking water to the thirsty in India I finally began to understand that possessions and the spending I did on them could actually equal human life, etc. I now work for the organization that brought me to that understanding :). Here is our site in case you are interested in learning more about us – WithThisRing.org. Thanks again for your post! I love it!
Minimal Girl says
These are some great points. People talk a lot about how stressful the holidays are, but I feel like this stress is mostly self-imposed. We can choose to do less, buy less and borrow less.
Julie says
We started celebrating Solstice a few years ago. We make handmade gifts that are personalized for each person. It has become a family obsession, now. The gifts are surprises and they can be as “simple” as a photo paired with a quote from a novel (tailored to the recipient) to as elaborate as handmade tea cozies for tea pots (our family loves tea). We’ve made Harry Potter-style brooms from cinnamon brooms, Haiku, a family game, origami, an original rap about each family member put to music and performed, decorated crowns, CD mixes, and photo calendars.
The Christmas gifts are far less interesting and as a consequence, are less fawned over. The handmade gift giving tradition is a challenge to continue (everyone feels it as a kind of pressure). But the results are so worth it and the production of the gifts so satisfying, it has become the highlight of the year.
I love your list here. Thank you for reminding us that experiences outweigh material goods.
nathalie brisebois says
Thanks for this!!! I read it right at the time I was sitting down to work on my Christmas shopping list… this year my husband and I, who have been minimalist for a few years now, decided that we were addressing our last issue… which is gift giving… we still spent to much on that… so we came up with a budget first… allowing ONLY for the money we already have aside for it… and we have to stick to it… no using of credit card… only cash (if that can help, our budget is roughly 800$ for my husband and I to spend on our parents, my brother and his family and our 3 kids! – it may still be a lot but we’re spending about half of previous years!)!!! And if ever I feel ‘cheap’ last minute, I’ll bake something and wrap it up to go with the gift!!!
thanks again!
perfect timing for such a post!!!
love&peace,
nath
xox
Rhonda says
Excellent post. This year, more than in years past, I have been incredibly irritated with the advertising, going so far as to say “forget that Thanksgiving turkey and come to our sale”. What a sad, sad state this country is in that for ONE day people can’t forget about consumerism and just enjoy what they already have. I recently found your site and am enjoying your outlook. Keep up the great work!
Sunny says
A good reminder that we are missing the point of the holiday season. This year my children and I are finding ways to give back to our community and staying away from the mall. I am thankful I live in Austin where we can buy wonderful gifts from local artisits and small shops.
Everyone have a wonderful holiday season
Joel Zaslofsky says
The hours we’ve spent interacting are definitely better than any physical gift you could give me, Joshua. After a fantastic Thanksgiving day and a night where my two-month-old son slept for nine consecutive hours, my cup runneth over once again with gratitude.
I’m marching forward into December just like I do any other month: with intention and focus.
Kristi says
I have been really struggling w Christmas this year. I have four kids (only one knows the truth ab Santa) who want everything yet lose, break or leave out everything. I hate “stuff” w a passion and don’t want to continue teaching the kids that they just get stuff no matter what. I’ve considered letting the cat out of the bag but my youngest is 4 and I don’t want to spoil the magic. Balancing the magic w trying to teach them responsibility and appreciation still eludes me.
joshua becker says
“Santa” doesn’t have to get them everything. We get our two kids three things: something they want, something they need, and a gift card to their favorite restaurant they can use whenever they want to take the family out for dinner.
Cheri Gregory says
When I think back on when our kids were little, I shake my head at how I was able to decry commercialism while buying straight into it. No, I didn’t buy the “in” toys of the season. But I did go deeply into debt to make sure that my kids had the complex Lego sets and elaborate American Doll collections they wanted. I justified so many unnecessary purchases as “educational tools.”
We’ve been debt-free for over 8 years, now. Our kids are college-aged and our family income is 1/2 what it once was. Their “gifts” are plane tickets home for the holidays where we watch old movies together and laugh so hard, we end up on the floor during family game night. Nothing being sold on Black Friday specials can top that!
joshua becker says
Cheri, I really appreciate you sharing this story with us—both the highs and the lows. I do hope other readers find it and are challenged because of it.
Ramona says
I. LOVE. THIS!!!!! My twins are 10-years-old and, as they get older, we find that they truly appreciate the specialness of experiences and time together much more than anything that is wrapped. I love thinking about how much your family enjoys the holiday season, how it is free of dread and excess, and that your kids don’t have to worry about paying for extra baggage on their flights ;) Thank you. And Happy New Year!!