“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss
All told, the average consumer intends to spend $907 on gifts this holiday season—and this figure does not include other seasonal spending: food, decorations, and other holiday items. Some surveys predict Americans will spend nearly $900 billion during the winter holiday season.
Unfortunately, the entire holiday shopping craze is based on unhealthy foundations. It finds its roots in a society conditioned to act on impulse and solve problems with purchases. It is spurred on by corporations appealing to the aspects of us that are selfish and self-centered. And the short-sighted philosophy fueling the excess is the belief we can find happiness in our purchases. But the premise is wrong.
We recognize it each December as the cycle of holiday spending begins again. We recognize it next month as the conversation inevitably turns to diets, home organization, and debt relief. Even more, if we look close enough, we can notice the foolishness of our thinking next week as our trash bins overflow with the pre-packaged waste of the holiday season.
Happiness simply can not be purchased at a store.
In fact, we can do far better than holiday shopping:
We can be content with our possessions.
We can realize our contentment in life is never found in our outward circumstances. Contentment (and happiness) is found in the decision to recognize the opportunity already exists and choosing to accept it.
Deciding to be content with our current level of possessions is one of the most freeing decisions any of us can ever make. And it opens the doorway to countless possibilities.
We can value experiences over possessions.
Removing ourselves from the holiday shopping frenzy does not mean we give up all opportunity to express love through gifts. In fact, there are a number of wonderful gift ideas that could be explored.
One of the sweetest is the simple idea to gift experiences rather than products this holiday season. You and the receiver may be pleasantly surprised at its value in a world where mass consumption is commonplace.
We can choose to value relationships over purchases.
Gift-giving is an interesting arrangement. We sacrifice our time and money in an effort to put something manufactured into a box for the purpose of showing love to someone else.
According to statistics, we will spend over 15 hours in the next 30 days shopping for these gifts. What if we decided to spend that time with our loved ones rather than at a store shopping for them?
Consider how sweet our holiday season could become if we chose to invest those 15 hours in real relationship with one another. In today’s world, 60 minutes of fully-devoted listening ears is priceless and far more valuable than anything you can buy anyway.
We can choose to act responsibly.
Rather than adding consumer debt and extra stress to our lives, we can choose to act responsibly this holiday season with our finances. We can intentionally stand up against the cultural pressure to spend money and instead, act mindfully with it.
Rather than adding debt this holiday season, perhaps we could choose to pay it down instead. Imagine that.
We can invest our money into social good.
There are desperate needs all around us: internationally, nationally, and locally. While many of us search department store shelves to find the perfect gift for “someone who has everything,” 768 million people do not have access to clean drinking water, millions of orphaned children are growing up in institutional orphanages, and 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation.
But the needs are not always across the water, many are local. Rather than buying scented gift boxes, our money could be used to make this world better and life more tolerable for countless others. It would be wise for us to start recognizing this opportunity.
We can choose to pursue more lasting meaning.
Each new day offers new opportunity to accomplish something new with our lives. We can create rather than consume, we can explore new learning opportunities, or we can bring about lasting change and significance. December does not need to be a month lost to overcommitted schedules and crowded lines at the cash register. We can do better than that. Just like any other month, we can use this one to further pursue meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. And based on the ads I’ve been seeing this year, those things are still not for sale.
We can remember our world’s resources are limited.
Moses Henry Cass once said, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” And it rings true in my mind as one of the most significant and thoughtful phrases concerning our responsibility with the natural resources available to us.
This holiday season, we ought to keep in mind our world’s resources are indeed limited. And choose to shop (or not shop) responsibly.
We can be a better example for our kids.
Many parents will fret over the possibility that their children will be disappointed on Christmas morning if they don’t receive enough (or just the right) toys. This is too bad because our concern is misplaced.
We can teach our children valuable lessons this holiday season. We can teach them about spending within their means. We can teach them about caring for those less fortunate. We can teach them about love and sacrifice and contentment—and how none of those are dependent upon a bank account.
This is a valuable season for parents. Let’s not waste it by focusing more on holiday shopping than parenting.
We can remember the reason for our celebration.
For many—including our family—the holiday season has rich roots in religion and spirituality. For others, the season represents family, friends, or giving. But regardless, at its heart, it is a season of celebration. Yet many of us have traded the beautiful reason for the season for the tireless pursuit of the perfect Christmas as exemplified on television and in catalogs. We have tried to buy the perfect Christmas. And as a result, many of us will spend more time looking for parking places than we do creating space to celebrate the very meaning of it.
Now, don’t read me wrong. I’m not proposing we need to avoid all holiday shopping over the coming weeks. I’m only arguing we can do better—much better.
Paula says
I love all these suggestions, but what I wish someone would address is how to handle it when family members do not like your attempts at simplifying the holidays or refuse to go along. I got really tired of all the commercialism of Christmas and the absurdity of people spending way too much money to buy junk for people that already have far too much and go out and buy whatever they want anyway. So I made suggestions like maybe drawing names, but no one was interested. Then last year, we just made a unilateral decision that we would change how WE do things. Our family has been growing, so we said that we would no longer exchange gifts with nieces and nephews unless they were under the age of 16. My sister-in-law did not like this one bit and let us know it with an angry email. My sister continued giving to our nephews, and now I feel like I look “cheap” because I don’t.
MichelleM says
This year my 20 something son who has moved out, requested tickets to the Symphony for Christmas. I was thrilled. I took the kids to the local symphony kid concerts when they were young and they appreciated it. My son now wants to share that with his girlfriend who did not have that opportunity. I love that I get to help support our local symphony orchestra with additional ticket sales and give an experience gift! I love gifts that support local talent. This enriches the life experience of our communities.
Ramona says
Wonderful!!
Joey says
Donating in someone else’s name is a great gift idea for those people that already have what they need. I’m raising money for a needy family to get a tiny home so they have a forever place to live. Any donations or help spreading the word is very much appreciated. http://www.gofundme.com/singlemamatinyhome.
Tressa says
Love these ideas and wanted to share a few more…
My aunt would always buy our family a year of National Geographic… as kids ee loved looking at the pictures and then we used them for school assignments and reading about different cultures…
My grandparents have 80 something grand and great grandkids… they give us an ornament on Christmas, usually found at local craft fairs or specialty shops. .. a great idea because after 33 Christmas’s I have a wonderful collection to start my own family tree and all the memories as well!
Chaney says
What a great post! The Christmas season is such an amazing opportunity to reflect on things that truly matter and to cherish relationships with the ones that matter most to us. When it comes to gift giving, I love making things for my family and friends. The personal touch of, “hey, I made this specifically for YOU” is such a neat thing. There are so many ideas for handmade gifts, and I rounded up a few of my favorite ones in a recent blog post if you’re interested in checking it out! Thanks again for such a great post :)
http://www.mayricherfullerbe.com/2013/12/lovely-links-handmade-gifts-edition.html
Lynne says
Very well said. I cannot bear the frenzy, especially the stores opening on Thanksgiving.
One additional suggestion to add. Each year, we adopt a family that is currently living at our local domestic violence shelter. These women and children often escape their abuser with only the clothes on their backs, so they truly do have a need. It feels good to provide the basics for mom and kids, and something fun for the little ones.
Mary says
I enjoyed your post, and also the comments.
People might not realize, when they shower children with gifts at Christmastime, that they may actually be creating a lot of stress for the children. Some children are very sensitive to this.
I would like to tell how I used to react to extravagant amounts of gifts at Christmastime. I am not young anymore, but the memories are still vivid.
My parents were hard-working people but money concerns dogged their steps. For four or five years, starting when I was about 10 years old, all year long, if I expressed an interest in some thing, or a desire for anything that was not a necessity, I was told “you don’t need that,” or “we cannot afford that.” Then, at Christmas, stacked under the tree and everywhere in the room would be box after box and as I opened each one, there would be something that I had been told we could not afford or that I did not need. This made me feel sad.
Ramona says
Thank you for this post, Mary. I was born in 1957 and felt the same way—thanks for expressing, so beautifully, something I could never put my finger on.
Christine says
Thank you for your post–at moments it really was painful to read–it requires a lot of growing to be so mindful during this season. Each year our family tries to be and do a little better. Our children get three gifts at Christmas (some of these are used and some are new)–just as Christ received three from the wise men. This causes occasional parental doubt when the world says they should have more and I give them only three small gifts. But we continue with our ways and I think as my kids grow they are beginning to recognize how blessed they are to have even simple gifts.
Bill McKibben’s book “Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas” is an excellent read (I read it every November to prepare myself…I may need to read it in October though with the way our economy is driving back Christmas).
Merry Christmas–may the true blessings of the season be yours:)
7 Ways to Avoid Christmas Clutter
http://awellstockedlife.wordpress.com/2013/11/24/7-ways-to-avoid-christmas-clutter/
Lea Sadler says
Reading your article this morning, I can’t help but agree. It’s so easy to slip into having too much focus on the materialistic aspect of the holidays–and become so flustered that we start overlooking opportunites to spend time with friends and loved ones.
I’ve just started working with United Way Worldwide, and was excited to find that, in some instances, purchases of holiday gifts actually generate donations to organizations like United Way Worldwide–which is a participant in the Giving Tuesday movement and supporter of a disaster releif fund for the victims of the Philippines typhoon. Here are some examples:
http://www.multivu.com/mnr/61434-united-way-worldwide-alternative-holiday-season-gift-ideas-give-back.
Rose Cole says
After years of hosting Christmas open house and going full tilt like Griswold in Christmas Vacation I decided in 2006 that I had had enough and we stopped full stop .We stopped buying gifts for people who already have too much as it is,stopped the heavy entertaining, and stopped decorating the house to look like a Christmas Village! Instead we give to carefully selected charities, attend various events in the community such as Christmas cantatas and plays, and put up just a few meaningful decorations to commemorate the season and we are much happier for it.