“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss
All told, the average consumer intends to spend $907 on gifts this holiday season—and this figure does not include other seasonal spending: food, decorations, and other holiday items. Some surveys predict Americans will spend nearly $900 billion during the winter holiday season.
Unfortunately, the entire holiday shopping craze is based on unhealthy foundations. It finds its roots in a society conditioned to act on impulse and solve problems with purchases. It is spurred on by corporations appealing to the aspects of us that are selfish and self-centered. And the short-sighted philosophy fueling the excess is the belief we can find happiness in our purchases. But the premise is wrong.
We recognize it each December as the cycle of holiday spending begins again. We recognize it next month as the conversation inevitably turns to diets, home organization, and debt relief. Even more, if we look close enough, we can notice the foolishness of our thinking next week as our trash bins overflow with the pre-packaged waste of the holiday season.
Happiness simply can not be purchased at a store.
In fact, we can do far better than holiday shopping:
We can be content with our possessions.
We can realize our contentment in life is never found in our outward circumstances. Contentment (and happiness) is found in the decision to recognize the opportunity already exists and choosing to accept it.
Deciding to be content with our current level of possessions is one of the most freeing decisions any of us can ever make. And it opens the doorway to countless possibilities.
We can value experiences over possessions.
Removing ourselves from the holiday shopping frenzy does not mean we give up all opportunity to express love through gifts. In fact, there are a number of wonderful gift ideas that could be explored.
One of the sweetest is the simple idea to gift experiences rather than products this holiday season. You and the receiver may be pleasantly surprised at its value in a world where mass consumption is commonplace.
We can choose to value relationships over purchases.
Gift-giving is an interesting arrangement. We sacrifice our time and money in an effort to put something manufactured into a box for the purpose of showing love to someone else.
According to statistics, we will spend over 15 hours in the next 30 days shopping for these gifts. What if we decided to spend that time with our loved ones rather than at a store shopping for them?
Consider how sweet our holiday season could become if we chose to invest those 15 hours in real relationship with one another. In today’s world, 60 minutes of fully-devoted listening ears is priceless and far more valuable than anything you can buy anyway.
We can choose to act responsibly.
Rather than adding consumer debt and extra stress to our lives, we can choose to act responsibly this holiday season with our finances. We can intentionally stand up against the cultural pressure to spend money and instead, act mindfully with it.
Rather than adding debt this holiday season, perhaps we could choose to pay it down instead. Imagine that.
We can invest our money into social good.
There are desperate needs all around us: internationally, nationally, and locally. While many of us search department store shelves to find the perfect gift for “someone who has everything,” 768 million people do not have access to clean drinking water, millions of orphaned children are growing up in institutional orphanages, and 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation.
But the needs are not always across the water, many are local. Rather than buying scented gift boxes, our money could be used to make this world better and life more tolerable for countless others. It would be wise for us to start recognizing this opportunity.
We can choose to pursue more lasting meaning.
Each new day offers new opportunity to accomplish something new with our lives. We can create rather than consume, we can explore new learning opportunities, or we can bring about lasting change and significance. December does not need to be a month lost to overcommitted schedules and crowded lines at the cash register. We can do better than that. Just like any other month, we can use this one to further pursue meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. And based on the ads I’ve been seeing this year, those things are still not for sale.
We can remember our world’s resources are limited.
Moses Henry Cass once said, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” And it rings true in my mind as one of the most significant and thoughtful phrases concerning our responsibility with the natural resources available to us.
This holiday season, we ought to keep in mind our world’s resources are indeed limited. And choose to shop (or not shop) responsibly.
We can be a better example for our kids.
Many parents will fret over the possibility that their children will be disappointed on Christmas morning if they don’t receive enough (or just the right) toys. This is too bad because our concern is misplaced.
We can teach our children valuable lessons this holiday season. We can teach them about spending within their means. We can teach them about caring for those less fortunate. We can teach them about love and sacrifice and contentment—and how none of those are dependent upon a bank account.
This is a valuable season for parents. Let’s not waste it by focusing more on holiday shopping than parenting.
We can remember the reason for our celebration.
For many—including our family—the holiday season has rich roots in religion and spirituality. For others, the season represents family, friends, or giving. But regardless, at its heart, it is a season of celebration. Yet many of us have traded the beautiful reason for the season for the tireless pursuit of the perfect Christmas as exemplified on television and in catalogs. We have tried to buy the perfect Christmas. And as a result, many of us will spend more time looking for parking places than we do creating space to celebrate the very meaning of it.
Now, don’t read me wrong. I’m not proposing we need to avoid all holiday shopping over the coming weeks. I’m only arguing we can do better—much better.
toys list 2013 says
Like this
“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss
Thank’s for sharing.
everlearning says
My deep gratitude for posting such an important message!! The comments have also been fabulous!
For decades we have budgeted for Christmas, vacations, etc. by putting away a certain amount of money each month because we can’t afford Christmas in December, we can’t afford vacation (inexpensive as ours is) in July, we can’t afford one special anniversary dinner at a nice restaurant during our anniversary month. These are small amounts of money put away each month of the year and then we spend only what we have for that event. It works beautifully. In addition, for many Christmases we have made gift certificates for our children, rolled them up and tied them with ribbon. They are for things like a walk and talk around the lake, going out for a sundae and talking about whatever, playing together a card game or a board game, reading time together, watching a special movie together, etc. These certificates are one-on-one with each child and parent. They are are most precious gifts to our children and they have long loved to receive them.
My husband and I have long grown tired of the craziness and loss of reason to the season, including the actual day (Thanksgiving or Christmas) when it’s all crazy and wild and filled with too many useless gifts. This last Thanksgiving at a relative’s home was nuts except for the fact that we were with family. We have decided that we need to have more meaningful experiences and break away from what we see as self-centered celebrations; going crazy with food and partying and overdoing EVERYTHING as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. We love our extended families, but know that spending our time this way is not where we are called. We will be graciously excusing ourselves from the upcoming Christmas craziness and are currently searching for (what will be for us) a meaningful way to spend the day. Please don’t misunderstand: I/we have nothing against fun and laughter. We actually do a lot of it. But the holiday season increasingly brings us less joy and meaningful understanding and living out the reason for what we should be celebrating.
Emma says
I’ve been online constantly for the last 3 days looking at the “deals”. Staying up late, getting up early. Constantly checking my email/deal blogs. I even bought gifts for next year already!! I’ve made so much progress this year moving toward a more simple life….and now I feel like such a failure. Black Friday wins. How do I stop??
Anna D. says
@Emma,
I don’t think it ever “stops.” My family and I have been living a minimalist/voluntary simplistic life for the past 4 years and there are peaks and there are valleys. Some times I look around my house and think, “how did all this excess crap come in?” and have to remind myself that it took me decades to get to where I am. The fact that you see how “Black Friday” purchases have affected you means you are NOT a failure, just human;) Fight the good fight…
Christina says
I can totally relate to this response…as I was shopping, and scouting websites, and putting myself further into debt and completely stressing myself out I remember thinking the whole time this does NOT feel right….but I just knew that once they got everything they wanted it would be worth it. Well on one hand they do love their stuff and for that I am glad, but was it worth it? No. The holidays never even felt like the holiday because all I did was stress and plan…not enjoy. I just discovered this blog today and I wish I had seen it before the holidays instead. It makes me feel sick to know I just blew this holiday on shopping and stress. But I will keep reading and learning and hope that by this time next year I can have learned how to ENJOY life. Not worry about buying things that I think could make someone happy, but really will just make them smile and then they will move on. Id rather have the memories with my family. And not be in debt in the process!!.
Bethany @ Piercing the Bubble says
Two years ago, we decided to make a conscious effort to shift the focus of our celebration from gifts and fancy meals, to just having a great time together. Now we get silly stocking stuffers, have a white elephant auction (often with stuff from our homes!), have a marshmallow fight, and just enjoy the party.
It’s a lot lower stress, and we all really look forward to our celebration.
Shelli says
Perhaps we could pursue the perfect birthdays for each of our loved one’s (instead).
“The Reason for the Season” could then (perhaps) be celebrated with a Healthy foundation — “Joy to the World…”
Robin says
I just reading this blog, although I have been de-cluttering for what seems like years. I am wondering is there is a website, boards, forum, etc. where people discuss ideas about simplifying? I think there is a balance in being frugal, i.e. storing away things for future use, or to give to our children to use when they have their own homes, and being clutter-free and not having so much to clean, etc.
I have found that balance in some ways, although in other ways, I am still probably keeping too much.
I don’t have my husband on board yet (at least not 100%) but I really want to make 2014 the year that we try to not purchase anything new that is not necessary, or consumed (as in food)!
Really appreciate your blog and encouragement.
Beth Scott says
Yes! I have 3 homeless with me this Christmas. Enough said. ;)
Jeanne says
Thank you for giving voice to something that touches me deeply. I long for my nephews to know that they are perfect as they are not a reflection of the toys they get for Christmas.
carole says
well said
Julia says
I’ve only recently discovered your site and I’m loving your work. Thank you for such a lovely reminder of what this season is all about. This year I only have half a dozen gifts to buy all of which will be purchased from local authors, sculptors, potters and woodturners. Fortunately our extended family has cut back on the ‘junk’ buying which makes it so much easier. We get given the name of one extended family member to buy for with a maximum price of $50 which I enjoy as it makes you think a lot harder about that person and what they would really appreciate especially if it’s someone you don’t spend much time with. If I could I would do away with the gift giving altogether and have a family picnic on the beach (summer here in New Zealand) but I know it wouldn’t go down well with older family members.
Hope you have a blessed holiday season.