I enjoy baseball and I like cheering for the hometown team. So my son and I decided to attend an evening of postseason baseball this week when the Arizona Diamondbacks hosted the Los Angeles Dodgers.
If you follow baseball, you know the Diamondbacks lost the game… and the series… and their season ended that night. In that regard, the night was a bummer. But in every other way, the evening was close to perfect.
The crowd was boisterous. The weather was amazing. The food was delicious. And the conversation was stellar.
We make choices every day with our financial resources. But this particular night of baseball was a helpful reminder to me that experiences are almost always a better investment than things.
Consider the reasons:
Experiences result in greater happiness. According to research, experiences result in longer-lasting happiness than material possessions. This is the case for several reasons (including some listed below). But in the article provided, the driving argument is that humans quickly adapt to their external surroundings. As a result, the happiness provided by new material possessions is short-lived. Over time, people’s satisfaction with the things they buy decreases, whereas their satisfaction with experiences over time increases.
Experiences provide better memories. One reason I enjoy baseball so much, is undoubtedly, because of the many memories I have watching it with my father. Growing up in South Dakota, an annual trip with the family to watch the Minnesota Twins play was a highlight of summer. Decades later, I look back on those moments with great joy and fondness. I remember them far better than almost any of the physical gifts I received as a child.
Experiences result in less clutter. Most physical possessions eventually become a burden on our lives. They take up physical space in our homes and mental space in our minds. They require care, attention, maintenance, organization. Experiences, on the other hand, are accompanied with little to no physical baggage. The only thing I brought home with me from the game were a few photos on my phone.
Experiences provide greater opportunity to connect with other people. This is the nature of experiencing things with others. Because we enjoy time together around a common purpose and activity for an extended period of time, we are afforded numerous opportunities to talk and connect with one another. My son enjoyed the game on the field, so did I. But I also enjoyed the opportunity to simply talk and connect about school and sports and friendships.
Experiences result in greater mindfulness. In 2010, Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert published an important study in Science magazine. Their research concluded that “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” And the greater a person’s ability to “stay present” in a given moment, the greater happiness they experience during and after. Experiences provide greater opportunity in this regard. In fact, to discover more helpful techniques about how to stay present in the experiences of life, read How to Make Good Moments Last Longer by Allison Niebes-Davis, PhD.
Experiences result in less comparison with others. According to research done by Ryan T. Howell and Graham Hill, another significant reason experiences result in more happiness than material possessions is because experiences result in less comparison with others. Or, as they put it, “It’s easier to feature-compare material goods (how many carats is your ring? how fast is your laptop’s CPU?) than experiences. And since it’s easier to compare, people do so.” This doesn’t mean, of course, that comparisons don’t still occur at events (“I wish I had that guy’s seats!”). But overall, both during and after, we are less inclined to compare with others the experiences we enjoy than the material possessions we own.
When we first began pursuing minimalism nine years ago, I remember asking myself what might I begin to do with the newfound benefits of owning less. If we were no longer purchasing, pursuing, and caring for excess possessions in life, what might we do with the excess money, time, and energy?
Over the years, we’ve been able to do a lot. But enjoying memorable experiences together as a family is certainly near the top of the list of my favorite.
Compared to buying more things, I’ll take enjoying memorable experiences any day. Even if my team did lose on Monday night.
Jeff Burnham says
There used to be a saying floating around in the 90s among “Yuppies” that “whoever dies with the most toys, wins.” I haven’t heard it recently, so maybe those people as they have aged have come to their senses about the empty promise that happiness derives from the accumulation of possessions (toys). Thank you for reminding us that true happiness and content don’t come from having more things, but from having more meaningful experiences with our friends and family members. On our deathbeds, we will remember and find comfort in all the wonderful experiences we have had in our lives, not how many “toys” are sitting in our houses and garages, or how much money is sitting in our bank accounts. Better to have a home full of wonderful experiences than a house full of expensive things. Give me experiences over things any day.
Andrea Allen says
Recently I purchased a front row ticket to see “David Parsons Dance” at the Kaufman Center of the Performing Arts. As I was waiting for the performance to begin, I was thinking about many of the points Joshua Becker has expressed in this article. Also, when I was sitting there an older woman in her 80’s walked in front of me to get to her seat on the other end. She said to me “Do you think they will ask us to dance?” She was giddy with excitement at the possibility. It was worth my ticket just to hear her ask that question.
Jill says
I agree that an event does not have to be special. I am decluttering and also finished paying off credit card debt recently. One would think that would free up money for experiences, but really economizing and making due while paying the debt now means that I have to play ‘catch-up’ for whatever I let slide during that time. I’m still am at the place that coffee, a meal, etc are about all I can still afford for experiences. And most of the time, that is enough; but I do yearn for that ‘more money, more freedom’ aspect that I keep hearing about! LOL
As I proof-read my whining comment above, I realized that I could be the ‘poster child’ for why people should stay out of needless debt!!! LOL
Linda Bramblett says
I’ve been following for a long time, and from the generation that had you think you had to save everything (even a piece of string, in case you needed it).
It’s been a journey for me for sure (and will continue to be), but experiences are SO SO great over possessions!
Looking forward to more adventures!
This site has been invaluable to me in so many ways!
Ella says
Joshua, thank you for this essay. It captures the spirit of minimalism for me. As T noted above, experiences come in a wide variety of flavors. Being present and able to enjoy them is essential to the well lived life.
T says
Once again Joshua you have laid out a cogent argument for minimalism. I like the way you coolly analyse the pros and cons and don’t browbeat people into accepting your perspective. For me ‘experience’ is a really broad thing – doesn’t just have to be an event or a special trip it can also include coffee and a chat or a local walk with friends. All these things can be very special and memorable too.
Liz says
This is so true. I’ve found particularly with my kids that the ‘small’ or even mundane experiences are the ones they love. Like the time my car was in the shop so we caught the bus (my preschoolers first time on public transport – he was beside himself he was so excited). And on a Sunday afternoons we always bake together, he loves it more than if I were to take him to a toy store, etc.
Angela says
Never really been into stuff that much.
Used to be considered a bit odd!
Glad to know others are just like me.
Andrew McDonnell says
I think of toys when I was a kid. I’d want a certain one so badly,—all the commercials and the ads—some action figure or other. I just had to have it. And I’d get it finally too. Unpackaging it was wonderful maybe, bringing it home from the store. But not even 3 days later, the toy is already discarded among the others, the luster gone. Till I’m chasing the next new one waved in front of me.
Austin Thompson says
This is such an important message, but so easily forgotten. I think this is why so many of us have debt and live beyond our means, but never use up our vacation time at work. It is difficult to see the long-term enjoyment of going to a baseball game with family over the short-term satisfaction of getting a new gadget, toy, or piece of clothing. Thanks for the reminder Joshua!
Hans says
Hi,
well, if you have to pay for experiences they fit as well in consumerism culture. How about free ones?
Best regards,
laura ann says
Not much free anymore, yet some are like rec. centers in cities. State parks are only several dollars to get in with lots of things to do, trails, lakes , canoeing, picnics, etc. City parks have kids activities, play areas with equipment, trails, etc. Some cities have free botanical gardens, flea markets, tennis courts, softball activities, etc. Biking, taking walks, hiking, or going to a campsite for several days with family in a state park costs little.
Asaake says
Your last question is was my question when I started decluttering: if I finally get to the point where I’m certain that I have attained my Minimalism peak, then what? Then I realized that I’d have the rest of my life to explore & enjoy meanings experiences. Sounds worthwhile!