“Be happy with who you are and what you do, and you can do anything you want.” —Steve Maraboli
Looking back over the past few years, my life has been a crazy ride and something I never imagined. I started this website as a simple online journal, but today:
—Becoming Minimalist welcomes almost 1,000,000 visitors each month totaling 2,000,000 page views.
—Our Facebook page recently exceeded 500,000 followers.
—I’ve written three bestselling books (Simplify, Clutterfree with Kids, and The More of Less)—ranking as high as the #1 Self-Help book on Amazon and appearing on every major best-sellers list in the country except for the NYT.
—My wife and I started a nonprofit organization to change orphan care around the world. To date, The Hope Effect has raised over $250,000 for orphan care projects.
—And I’ve been privileged to speak internationally at various venues inviting others to find more life by owning less.
I include that list above for one reason: by almost every available measure, you could say it’s been a pretty successful past few years.
But here’s what’s weird. I don’t actually feel all that successful.
In fact, some days, I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing. Other days, I’m evaluating my life wondering what I’m doing wrong, why things aren’t going even better, and wishing I was better at any number of different skills.
I look at other people and wonder why my growth hasn’t equaled theirs. I look at the long list of things I wish I could accomplish and wonder why I haven’t. Some days feel productive… but other days, I wonder if I’m too undisciplined or too undeveloped in the skills I need to move forward.
While things appear to be successful from the outside, I am often filled with doubt that they actually are.
But I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, this is just what success feels like.
I was texting with a friend one time—someone who probably looks up to me in both age and career. He kindly asked how things were going. My response went something like this, “Some days I feel productive. Other days, I feel distracted and undisciplined. As a result, I can never quite tell if I’m moving forward effectively or too inefficient to do so.”
And I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, I’m not alone. If so, maybe this is just what success feels like.
Maybe success feels more like challenge, than accomplishment. I look at people who make success look effortless. And to be honest, there are times when my work seems to flow naturally—entirely unforced. But most of the time, it doesn’t. Most of the time it is hard and calls me to question my skills and talents—always wishing I had more or different.
Maybe success feels more like discontent, than completion. Maybe success never feels like a finish line, or a goal that is ultimately crossed off a list. Maybe success, regardless of past accomplishments, always looks like it is off in the horizon on the other side of the next hill.
Maybe success feels more like giving thanks, than being thanked. I get emails of appreciation every day from readers. They are lovely and I find great encouragement in them. But I often feel their gratitude is misplaced as I consider all the men and women who built into my life to make all of this possible: parents, friends, my family, and fellow bloggers. They are the successful ones worthy of my gratitude.
Maybe success doesn’t always feel like it looks from the outside. (tweet that)
Take heart in this truth, regardless of your pursuit in life. Whether you are trying to be a successful writer, a successful farmer, a successful school teacher, or a successful mom, maybe success doesn’t always feel like success.
Maybe success just feels like this. And if so, maybe you are far more effective in your role than you ever imagined.
Jay O. says
Joshua: the world is going in a complete wrong direction of the successful road. Thank you for your thoughts.
Sundae says
I feel you.. i feel like that too sometimes, like you’re not doing enough. But I think we’ll just have to channel that energy into something good, something to
propel us to give more and to grow. And I believe true success comes when you’re actually not looking. We just have to keep our focus on what we do best. :)
Cat says
Honest article. I resonate with some things, always searching, but reminding myself I am in a good place if I am alive, I have a home, my family is safe, and I have the capacity to think, feel, take risks. Life isn’t always perfect, but it can be real good…
Zulema says
I just wrote a post about this, and have also been pondering on my success. I enjoy watching inspiring videos that encourage me to go after my dreams. But often times, I find myself comparing my skills to that of others. Listening to the fear based voice in my head that tells me I am not able to do a certain project. That’s the battle I’m facing right now. Asking myself what I want out of life and what brings me fulfillment. Thank you for sharing these feelings with us. This post came at the right time for me. I’m happy to know that I’m not one of the few that feel this way. That even successful individuals like yourself battle with this uncertainty. Uncertainty, this reminded me of a Tonny Robbins audio I heard today.
https://youtu.be/CKvNaCpzYxE
Maggie says
The Dalai Lama suggests that should you look back to see how far you’ve come every five years!
He was referring to meditation practice in particular, but maybe a good idea for business and personal development too.
Don’t forget that on any journey there may be lots of going up and down, but you’re still moving forward.
Love and blessings.
Sandi Patard says
I think most people would feel this way, imagine if you were ultra successful and perfect in everything you did, wouldn’t you still be searching how to be better, I don’t think it ends, I think we need to learn to be more content with who we are what we have and the knowledge we have, only then may we find peace in ourselves.
Susan says
I think success is fluid as we move into one phase and out of another, what we deem successful changes. I love how you phrased it feeling like being thankful rather than being thanked. This is a beautiful concept that gratitude helps determine a part of our success. Wonderfully well written post.
Mindy says
I have successfully homeschooled and raised two amazing current-college-students and I’m in the home stretch with our youngest. These pursuits have consumed the last 14 and 21 years of my life; they have been the most rewarding years I could have ever asked for. As I enter this next phase of life, I feel like such a newbie in the activities I’m pursuing, all the while forgetting the blessings and successes of the past 21 years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on success.
krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui says
In the same position here:)
Michaela says
This is music to my ears as a new blogger. I’ve been feeling really similarly lately, going through a phase of questioning why I’m doing it and wondering if it’s really worth it. But then I come back to the fact that I love it, and I love sharing whatever wisdom I can with others, and then off I go again caught up in the stream of loving it. And I think you’re right – perhaps success is just like everything else in life; not solid. It’s a far more beautiful, relaxing, accepting way to be if we can keep this in mind :) Thanks for the article, I needed to hear this today.
Torrie says
I needed to hear this today! Especially the part about maybe success feeling like discontent…
I’ve been pursuing photography as a side hobby/side job for years now, and though I can see enormous progress in my work, I’m still nowhere close to where I want to be. And sometimes I take that discontent to mean that I’ll never get there and that maybe I’m not cut out for it.
Thanks for reminding me that success rarely means that things will all of a sudden get easier. I needed it today!