“Be happy with who you are and what you do, and you can do anything you want.” —Steve Maraboli
Looking back over the past few years, my life has been a crazy ride and something I never imagined. I started this website as a simple online journal, but today:
—Becoming Minimalist welcomes almost 1,000,000 visitors each month totaling 2,000,000 page views.
—Our Facebook page recently exceeded 500,000 followers.
—I’ve written three bestselling books (Simplify, Clutterfree with Kids, and The More of Less)—ranking as high as the #1 Self-Help book on Amazon and appearing on every major best-sellers list in the country except for the NYT.
—My wife and I started a nonprofit organization to change orphan care around the world. To date, The Hope Effect has raised over $250,000 for orphan care projects.
—And I’ve been privileged to speak internationally at various venues inviting others to find more life by owning less.
I include that list above for one reason: by almost every available measure, you could say it’s been a pretty successful past few years.
But here’s what’s weird. I don’t actually feel all that successful.
In fact, some days, I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing. Other days, I’m evaluating my life wondering what I’m doing wrong, why things aren’t going even better, and wishing I was better at any number of different skills.
I look at other people and wonder why my growth hasn’t equaled theirs. I look at the long list of things I wish I could accomplish and wonder why I haven’t. Some days feel productive… but other days, I wonder if I’m too undisciplined or too undeveloped in the skills I need to move forward.
While things appear to be successful from the outside, I am often filled with doubt that they actually are.
But I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, this is just what success feels like.
I was texting with a friend one time—someone who probably looks up to me in both age and career. He kindly asked how things were going. My response went something like this, “Some days I feel productive. Other days, I feel distracted and undisciplined. As a result, I can never quite tell if I’m moving forward effectively or too inefficient to do so.”
And I’m starting to wonder, if maybe, I’m not alone. If so, maybe this is just what success feels like.
Maybe success feels more like challenge, than accomplishment. I look at people who make success look effortless. And to be honest, there are times when my work seems to flow naturally—entirely unforced. But most of the time, it doesn’t. Most of the time it is hard and calls me to question my skills and talents—always wishing I had more or different.
Maybe success feels more like discontent, than completion. Maybe success never feels like a finish line, or a goal that is ultimately crossed off a list. Maybe success, regardless of past accomplishments, always looks like it is off in the horizon on the other side of the next hill.
Maybe success feels more like giving thanks, than being thanked. I get emails of appreciation every day from readers. They are lovely and I find great encouragement in them. But I often feel their gratitude is misplaced as I consider all the men and women who built into my life to make all of this possible: parents, friends, my family, and fellow bloggers. They are the successful ones worthy of my gratitude.
Maybe success doesn’t always feel like it looks from the outside. (tweet that)
Take heart in this truth, regardless of your pursuit in life. Whether you are trying to be a successful writer, a successful farmer, a successful school teacher, or a successful mom, maybe success doesn’t always feel like success.
Maybe success just feels like this. And if so, maybe you are far more effective in your role than you ever imagined.
Jen@SavedbytheKale says
I think the very act of questioning all these things equals success. I know as a Mom there are so many nights I go to bed questioning my decisions where my children are involved and some days it is easy for me to beat my self up and feel like I’m not enough for them or should I be doing more. Am I doing enough, am I a bad mother. But that’s when I have to step back and see that just asking myself all these questions means I care so much. Just realizing that is a small success for me!
Dr. Denise Olivier says
Josh, you didn’t make the NYT list. Considering you can buy your way onto the list and has been shown in court to be editorial content rather than mathematical fact (according to my research into the matter), I wouldn’t consider that even an issue. NYT list is not an indication of success or failure, just manipulation. Keep up the good work.
Bill says
It makes sense to me that success would never feel like a finish line. With most important goals, like living the best life possible, there will always be room for improvement.
But I have to push back a little at the notion that success might feel like discontent. Rather, I would argue, success should feel like contentment. Discontent is what fuels the materialistic consumerist world, and, it seems to me, stands in opposition to the what the goal of minimalism should be. While we may never achieve complete and perfect contentment, discontent should not be any measure of our success, imho.
I’m grateful for your work and inspiration. Whatever success is, I hope it continues to flow your way.
Lori says
I believe you’re correct, it doesn’t look like we imagined. And of course God always calls us higher. Having mothered and educated my children for over 30 years, it doesn’t look like i imagined, there’s always more to grow and more to learn and more to be. And your post makes it OK, it’s a season. Thank you L
Hannah | The Simple Things says
I think its our human nature to strive to become ‘more’ successful, and to better ourselves, or to become more productive or efficient. Our real challenge to is to feel content and happy with what we have achieved :) (For me that might be that be helping someone else or just simply surviving a crazy day with my four children!).
Jacqueline says
I don,t think it is wrong to take stock on life, to look at where we are and where we are going in life, i hate all the over thinking and analyzing in my life, all the comparing and how i judge or am judged etc, i wonder am i enough etc, well this year God gave me that word “Enough” God is enough, I am enough, I have enough and enough is enough, and it really grounded me in many ways so i hope that encourages you Joshua and others and gives many hope to carry on, keeping thankful has been my saving grace for sure, and i think of ecclesiates where it is said, times and seasons for everything.
with love Jacqueline xxx
Anonymous says
. . . or maybe failure does.
Success or failure is irrelevant.
Find joy in what you do.
Give it your best.
And let the chips fall where they fall.
Kari Dahlgren says
This is soooo true! Thank you for writing this Joshua, because I, too, was wondering if it’s just me.
I recently published a book. It happened this week, actually, and when it happened, it didn’t feel nearly as good as I thought. If anything, I felt fear. The fear of what I should do next. (Because surely I can’t allow myself to peak, right?)
Anyways, I wholeheartedly agree that this is just what success feels like :) it’s not completion. It’s not the end. And that’s exactly the point.
When we always feel like we need to constantly improve, we start living for tomorrow. Success always feels like it will happen better tomorrow. (At least, that’s how I feel.)
Minimalism reminds me that we need to live for today. And when I forget, blogs like these remind me.
Vivian says
You should feel like the thanks belongs to you. Without you, who would share all the wonderfull and ready somewhat digested information . You, reach out and share it, that’s why we thank you, the others are for you to thank. But their part does not make yours less significant and you have a talent in sharing without pressing anything down anyone’s throats. You are ment to share this wisdom this philosophy this Heartfelt wish for a better life for the many. And you do just that, so so so well.
Thank you!
Vivian Denmark.
Conal says
Joshua, you have helped me in a number of ways. By showing leadership and supporing an important cause in a selfless way; you have motivating me to live small and simple; you have assisting me with setting financial priorities, you have helped me realize what is truly important and what is not, and I am happy as a result. You have helped me, define me. So, I feel accomplished, content and thankful, and reading your blog and your books, has helped me get there. Life is far from easy, but it has become easier. I spread the word of minimalism once in a while amongst my family, friends and colleagues. I expect that most people who follow your story do the same. You will never know how many people you have helped over the last 5 years globally, but I bet it is a lot more than a million. That is pretty successful.