“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.” —Joshua Becker
Some people I speak with get nervous when they hear the term minimalist. For them, it conjures up images of destitution, barren walls, and empty cupboards.
Rightly so, they decide that is no way to enjoy life. Believe me, I agree—extreme minimalism is no way to enjoy life.
Maybe that is why I use the term rational minimalist and find it resonates so well. If you walked into my home today, you would not immediately deduce that a minimalist lives here.
When you look in our living room, you would see a television, couches, a family photo, and a rug. In our coat closet, you would find jackets, baseball caps, and a few winter weather accessories. In our kids’ rooms, you would find books, crafts, and toys in their closet. Since deciding to become minimalist years ago, we have been on a journey to define what that means for us and how it fits into our life.
We live in suburbia. We have two children. We are active in our community. We love to entertain, show hospitality, and host small groups from our church in our living room. I am a writer and my wife does bookkeeping. While not exceptional, our life is not identical to anybody else. It is our life—nobody else’s.
And if we were going to become minimalist, it would have to be a style of minimalism specific to us.
It would require us to ask questions, give-and-take, identify what we most value, and be humble enough to change course when necessary.
Your particular practice of minimalism is going to look different from everyone else. It must! After all, you live a different life than everyone else. You don’t have to dive into the deep end of extreme minimalism and live with just the clothes on your back.
You may have a large family, small family, or no family. You may live on a farm, in a house, or in a studio apartment.
You may collect antiques, stamps, or bottle caps. You may love music, movies, sports, or books. You may cherish old photographs, family heirlooms, or romantic letters from a lover.
Find a style of minimalism that works for you. One that is not cumbersome, but freeing based on your values, desires, passions, and rational thinking.
Be aware that your definition will not come overnight. It will take time. It will evolve—even change drastically as your life changes. It will require give and take. You will make a few mistakes along the way. And thus, it will also require humility.
But ultimately, you will begin to remove the unneeded things from your life. And when you do, you will find space to intentionally promote the things you most value and remove anything that distracts you from it.
Thalia says
I love the way you have made minimalism seem both accessible and entirely achievable! It’s always a mistake when people make it out to be a really extreme way of living because people lose interest — unlike this post which has left me feeling the most inspired I’ve been for weeks! Thank you!
http://www.lifeinthesunlight.com/
Marilyn says
I divorced at 40 and raised my three daughters by myself ….after the divorce and after I lost everything I realized we didn’t need much to survive… A roof over our head a modest vehicle and food to eat and I furnished our home for $100 and we lived happily. Then I met my new husband who isn’t on the same path as I and I am overwhelmed , my question is how do I change him to be more like me he is getting worse everyday and I am not happy , he does not see that he has a problem any suggestions because I really love him and I do not want to leave but it is affecting my health
Sibyl says
Well – same as with any other problems in a marriage… talk to him about it. Pick a quiet time, explain completely and clearly what it does to you to live like you do now (I guess you mean that he’s got too much stuff, you don’t say in your post). Just try to give him a clear picture of your state of mind about it.
My husband is also not in the decluttering boat, and he puts up one or two stop signs every now and then – but when he sees that something is really bothering/affecting me (and even endangering my health), he’d do everything in his power to accomodate me as much as possible.
Jeannie says
This is such a relief for me to read this post as I felt like every spare minute I had I was on a rampage to clear out a drawer or cupboard like I was on a time clock. And yes…I was encourage to read how ‘everyone of our lives will look different’ making our surrounding more minimalist!! I am a detailed person and find this very hard as I Love to change seasonal items but have now learned to pair it down to what I really Love and not store additional items… this is an improvement. I actual drawers and closets are looking better and I spend a lot less time looking for things!! I felt very calm reading this post as it gave me permission to ‘do it my way’ and what works for me in my Home and not someone elses… Thanks Joshua for clarifying that… I think I have been searching for that peace for awhile!! :)
Linda Freitag says
To me minimalism is a life style change. Changes take time and this type of life style change is no different. For change to become habit it is something I need to adapt to over time both in thought and carry through. Once I am mentally prepared it is easier to take baby steps to achieving a level of satisfaction I feel comfortable with maintaining.
Kathy Schwager says
This is a great article. My husband and I (both retired) have been on this journey for more than 10 years. I don’t think anyone would walk into our home (under 1000 sq. ft.) and think that it looks bare or Spartan. It is attractive and comfortable. We have what we need. That includes photos of our grandchildren, a few mementos of travel, a reasonable number of books, everything we need to prepare and eat meals, hobby materials, clothing, wall decor, etc. We do not have thousands of books – internet and a great library system. We don’t have lots of kitchen gadgets. We do not have an excess of clothing. Our possessions don’t weigh us down. It feels good to us, and I think that is what matters. Living this way has enabled us to travel extensively during our retirement.
Johnb says
I have come across your blog (and this entry in particular) after many months of attempting to justify why I was slowly culling all the material posessions that were building up in my home and surrounding me in my life in general. In a time of my life where everyone around me seems to be filling their lives with material ‘stuff’, I am travelling down a different path and it feels so refreshing. I am glad I’m not alone in my adventure. Thank you.
Peony says
I grew up poor, so when I began working, I started collecting and buying things I wanted for when I owned my own home. Well over the past 36 years, I never moved out of our family home. I think I’ve become a hoarder because I’ve never thrown away or got rid of anything that I bought. To part with my possessions makes me “feel” that I will be poor again. I want to live with less because it would free me up to live the life I desire. But I don’t know how to part with my things, and think that I might need professional help. Allot of the buying was done when I had bouts of depression. I’d like some advise as to where to begin. I stumbled upon this site by mistake, and when I was reading, it really hit home. I want to live with less and be free to live my life and feel the weight lifted off my shoulders. HELP!!!
Katie says
Peony, don’t look at it as a whole, start small. You may need professional help but start by yourself first. I grew up with not much and I know what things around you feels like. I’m rich now because I can buy things! But, things don’t make you rich, people and experiences do.
Grab a garbage bag. Start by getting rid of anything like paper that is ripped, torn, is no longer usable. Don’t be hard on yourself if this takes you awhile, you’ll have to come to terms with letting go. It’s just stuff, the memories you have will still be there.
You may want to enlist the help of a good friend or relative to help you stay grounded while you sort through years of collections. Give it a go – the first steps are the hardest!
Rowan says
Peony – Dr Randy Frost who specializes in hoarding, has written a book “Buried in Treasures” which is a workbook for hoarders. You may not be a hoarder in the clinical definition but many principles in dealing with hoarding disorder may be very helpful for you. One technique he uses is to have the hoarder person try letting go of just one item. Then the person sees how she feels an hour later, a day later, a week later. Always the bad feelings lessen over time. And, in my own life, in order for me to make progress I have to remember that feelings are only feelings, not reality. My being afraid does not necessarily mean I have something to be afraid of. So I progress by living “head over heart” and after each tiny step step forward my heart catches up to my head. There are some great lectures by Dr Randy Frost on youtube. He is very kind and compassionate. Be well and know that we are all rooting for you.
Tom says
I think the key for me was realizing that most of us have our drawers, cabinets, and closets filled with stuff we don’t need/use. That leaves no room for the things we need/use daily so those things wind up on countertops/tables/chairs/floors. We’ve all experienced this. The very space we’re trying to live in becomes too cluttered to live in.
Thanks for helping me see this more clearly.
Connie says
Boy, is that ever the truth!!
Tru says
I love the ideas associated with all of this and try to adapt it into my life. I’m going through my clothes, but my fabric collection although I’ve already sized it down still needs more work. My biggest program is that I design, alter and deal with clothing and fabric. How can I minimize what I have, how do I differentiate between what is vital/valuable and what is able to be donated?
Stephanie says
Just my 2 cents, but that sounds to me like something you don’t need to minimise because you need and use it.
Sarah Alice Andrews - Bridal Couturier says
Hi Tru,
I have a similar dilemma because I’m a fashion designer. But then I realised I can really limit the amount of new materials I buy to only those I’m definitely going to USE.
I was buying fabrics, haberdashery, keeping old pieces of lace etc & so much was just sitting there. I’ve decided to minimalize my materials purchases for my business & I think it will make such a difference in my profit & loss statement! No more excess materials sitting in large plastic tubs, or if I do buy some standard fabrics in bulk (eg. ivory silk satin etc) I know it will be used soon.
Also I’m intending to try & not buy anything without first trying to use what I have already. Like buying new zips, elastic, buttons & thread. I have re-organised my things & it makes it clearer to me what is already there so I can try to use that before I buy anything else.
Hope these thoughts help :).
Wally says
I started minimizing my “stuff” to help me save money. What I am realizing is I’m much happier and content with less “stuff”. I believe it actually cleared “stuff” in my mind as well. My rational minimalism may be very irrational for you!! And that is very okay! Thanks for this site. I’m so content my gray hair is turning brown again… :-)
Kush Sharma says
I think the essential thing is that you keep whatever adds true value to your life and get rid of what doesn’t. This differs for everyone. I love playing drums, and would not rid of them ever, no matter how much space they take. Minimalism isn’t about the literal ‘less’, it’s about the internal ‘more’.