Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Annie Raser-Rowland of The Art of Frugal Hedonism.
If you are reading this blog, it is almost certain that you, like me, live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, in an age of material convenience and luxury unimaginable to 99% of the humans who have come before us.
We should be ecstatic. But most us aren’t. We are clearly doing a Very Poor Job of turning our historically-unprecedented wealth into happiness.
Where did we go wrong? And is there a way to grab the reins back and gallop into the golden meadows of contentment you’d think such a lucky society would be frolicking in?
Answering this question was the motivation behind writing The Art of Frugal Hedonism: A Guide to Spending Less While Enjoying Everything More.
Now, before you protest that ‘Frugal Hedonism’ is surely a contradiction in terms, read on.
For most of our species’ time on this planet, we’ve suffered from being too cold, too hungry, and having to work too hard to meet basic needs. We’ve had millennia to become programmed to always consume whatever we can get our hands on—because tougher times could be lurking around the corner. But now we’ve carried that programming into an age where there is so much for us to consume that it is hurting us rather than helping us. Easy mistake to make. Let’s start un-making it.
Even those of us familiar with minimalism can struggle to shake off the mentality encouraged by a million advertising campaigns: That ‘the good life’ and ‘treating yourself’ are achieved by spending, and that consuming less is a sacrifice. Something goodie-two-shoes do for the sake of saving money, or saving the world.
And at first glance it does seem that consuming less requires more effort. Ride a bike instead of driving?! Make a thermos of coffee every morning instead of stopping at Starbucks?!! Pump up the stereo and clean the house with nothing but some old shirts cut into rags, a bucket of water, and your God-given muscles?!!!
Yet, an oversupply of consumables (read: what most of us modern first-worlders consider necessary) actually has a nasty tendency to sneak up behind us and pop out in the form of effort we need to expend. Examples? The effort of going to the gym/weight loss group/doctor because you were oversupplied with cheap foods and labor-saving devices. The effort of taking your whatsit in for repair/finding a replacement part for it/getting it steam-cleaned/syncing it with your other whatsit. Not to mention the effort of going to work to pay for all those services.
A Frugal Hedonist is not sucked in by false convenience, but opts for the more elegant efficiency of a little self-reliance here and there, and a little creativity. Chop up that whopper pumpkin that you grew with a hatchet and make it into enough soup to replace ten takeaway lunches, then hang out your laundry because you’re too thrifty to use a dryer. Walk to the shops instead of driving, and base your holidays around hiking to waterfalls rather than eating at new cafes in different places. Instead of taking your kids (or yourself) to the movies or the mall for entertainment, loll about in the nearest patch of sunny grass for an hour and count how many types of bug you can spot.
Make these kinds of choices for a while, and you’ll find that staying financially and physically healthy starts to take care of itself. And true hedonism requires both kinds of health to bloom.
There is also profound pleasure in the power of acknowledging that you don’t need to get everything you want. Your children don’t need to get everything they want. Previous generations took this for granted, but our age has confused not getting what you want with deprivation. Tap in to the gutsy spirit of your forebears, and get on with enjoying life with an outdated cellphone and mismatched crockery!
Perhaps the most brilliant side-effect of restricting our consumption is that it keeps us alive to pleasure. Setting ‘lean against luscious’ is one of the key mantras of a Frugal Hedonist. Getting into a steaming hot shower feels eight times more delicious if you’ve just cycled home through a rain storm than if you drove there in a heated car. Scoring an amazing cashmere sweater from a thrift store is much more exciting if you don’t have a thicket of impulse buys looming guiltily at you from an overcrowded wardrobe. Buying a fresh mango from a street stall to eat messily on a summer’s afternoon park bench can only be as succulent to someone who doesn’t grab a chocolate bar every time they go through a supermarket checkout.
A Frugal Hedonist declares that it’s ridiculous to suffer from the living being too good, and looks for the sweet spot. She accepts that we are pleasure-seeking animals, but refuses to accept that decadence can only be achieved by spending money. He keeps himself financially free enough to do what he really loves by ongoingly questioning the ‘comfort and convenience’ spending that our society has convinced us is normal.
Let’s stop denying ourselves the full benefits of a materially-modest, sensually indulgent lifestyle. Let’s get Frugally Hedonistic.
***
Artist turned permaculturalist, forager, and writer, Annie is the co-author of The Art of Frugal Hedonism: A Guide to Spending Less While Enjoying Everything More and The Weed Forager’s Handbook. I was introduced to her phrase, “Frugal Hedonist” a few months ago and immediately asked her to explain more. You can find more about Annie on her website.
I’m so glad to see that Annie’s book has a 2024 revised edition! This is the message that younger generations need to feel inspired about life again!
In reading this article there are some things that resonate with me. I was raised by my “depression-era” grandparents who taught me so much about life and living within my means.
As a child, I had everything I ‘needed’ with a little of what I ‘wanted’ sprinkled in every now and again. I remember all my friends going on family vacations every year, living in homes with backyards (some with a pool!). They got new cars, new furniture and two friends had sooo many wrapped presents overflowing under their Christmas tree there was no room to even walk into the living room. I never felt jealous, nor did I envy them and I never felt deprived going back home to my house after hanging out with them at theirs. My family of 3 and our house was not like theirs at all. I know now, but never knew it back then as a child, there wasn’t a lot of money to spare, we lived off of their two monthly social security checks, no other income or pensions and no other family to help. We definitely were not ‘middle class’ (like my friends). Maybe we were poorer than most, after all we didn’t have a lot of money or ‘things’ like my friends’ parents but my home was filled with love and was THE place all my friends wanted to hang out at for Grandma’s cookies and Pappap’s hugs!! We are breakfast AND dinner together every day, a home cooked meal 7 days a week! Grandma was always there EVERY day when I walked in the door after school, and later so was Pappap. And that made me rich beyond measure. I grew up fast when they were called home, first Grandma (I was 11yo) then Pappap 3 years later. I was 14yo when I moved out on my own and went to court to become emancipated.
Their values, faith in God and invaluable life lessons in frugality are how I survived back then and through it all to thrive today. I learned from them at a young age how to create and stick to a budget, save my money, ALWAYS buy my needs before my wants, and live below my means. I’ve never been materialistic, I don’t live on plastic money. I do love a great hunt in my favorite thrift stores and the never-ending adventure of discovering new thrift stores ‘down the road.’ I love a good bargain and my local Buy Nothing Group! There IS a difference between being ‘cheap’ and being ‘frugal’ (a ‘frugal hedonist’ ??). If/when I have to, I can squeeze a buffalo nickel so tight the buffalo poops!
It’s all a matter of perspective. I am blessed beyond measure. Money isn’t always everything. I don’t need to keep up with the Joneses. Mine is a life not of deprivation. Yes, there are things I want and I have my ‘Wish List’. Some things may be unattainable but I’ll never know that, only He knows.
Wow… what a great story thank you for sharing!! You were on your own so young but it seems your wonderful caregivers set you up with a solid mindset and a great foundation. Inspiring!
Thank you Stacey for sharing your experience. I spent a considerable amount of time at my Grandparent’s house as a child. Even though I wasn’t technically raised by them, they did help my, then single, Mom out by keeping my brother and I while she worked 2-3 jobs. My Grandparents lived through The Great Depression and boy do I remember the stories. I am so thankful to this day for the stories and the example they set in hard work, self sufficient, frugal living.
I have always been frugal, no matter how much my net worth has climbed over the last decade. I have gotten to the point where I can’t even think of purchasing an article of clothing in a mall when I can buy a perfectly good shirt at the thrift store or a yard sale instead.
I think what makes it better is the difference between being frugal out of necessity and because I choose to be. I have the money to buy what I want, but I can get the same pleasure out of a less expensive item that does the same thing.
With little or no debt, a job is just about having extra money to take a trip and health insurance. I have become more of a slacker lol, and I don’t need to climb a ladder to make more anymore. A walk with the dogs, while listening to my favorite podcast is perfect. Camping with my son and dogs. Sitting down and eating a nice meal at home.
We are programmed as a society to think that more is better or we have to have the best of everything. I see a lot of unhappy people always striving, buying, and trying to have more. Simplifying and being grateful for what you have instead of what you think you need is life changing.
YES! 🎯💯❗
I can’t seem to edit here so I rewrote as best as possible. Thanks.
People that don’t have money to begin with, live in this fashion. But they definitely cannot choose to be frugal after buying a BMW, condo, house, etc. because they don’t have those things to begin with. And can’t retire from a pension early after being materialistic their whole life to then take their kids to a remote island!! What? Wow?
Can this be written with some sense of reality? Great! It is a blog and an opinion and an option to educate myself about hedonism. But, many of us are educated or not, or have great jobs or not, or are jobless, or suffered a lot in life….or not….or lived in the red. And in case you don’t know, living in the red means having -500 bucks in the bank most of the time for years on end…as we try to get the “mandatory” degrees we have to get to get any job. And work at the same time. The apartment is in itself a miracle to live in with shelter and basic food and drink. And many of us did this with no help from family. When I say no family help, I mean this politely, family helps sometimes but don’t necessarily have resources either.
So let’s say you do get to 40 years old to obtain your first “better” paying job. You then have to pay back all the debts. Another 10 years or so go by. And then having to pay for more schooling to update. Because schools…and facilities want you to spend more money again to update education. Usually to do the same job anyways? Rich people love this….I don’t so much. Because it keeps us down and never getting ahead financially. Educated and penniless. It’s even more annoying after spending all that money and being told…isn’t that great?! It is. But now I can’t go on vacation. So school is great. But when it takes away from your lively hood it is not great. And we suffer judgement for this on top of this. I wish society actually slowed down the nonstop education costs. Most of us just can’t keep spending that cash.
So at 50. I can begin my life buying some nice stuff. Barely. So at 60 I won’t need to look back to see if I was hedonistic. Many of us have no choice but to be hedonistic our whole life. NO CHOICE. And it’s ok. My life has been a joy, even with the so-called struggle seen in cooking your own food, walking and being hedonistic. It’s work but I always liked work. It’s not work to me. It’s domestication basically.
I will never own a car, bike, house, condo, or that kind of stuff. I struggled. I did suffer. But there were many opportunities of joy also. This was my normal and still is.
My issue is: the judgement I may get for having less. The same people that stopped talking to me when they bought condos, houses, cars, and expensive stuff….because I may not mix well anymore socially…..are the same people writing these articles about how wonderful it can be with less stuff (difference is there bank account is still loaded as they live this bohemian lifestyle). At any point, they can just buy a BMW anyways. Nope. Not me. In the old days more people mixed socially regardless of being rich or poor. Not now.
And when they take up this lifestyle they can be self-righteous about it…and still NOT want to be in your life.
Because we both know…I’m not hedonistic by choice. They are. And therefore we still come from different stock. So that is still exclusive social behaviour.
Anyways. There is bad on both sides of money and no money.
Be hedonistic, at least you are trying to live with less! But maybe make a friend who can’t go on vacation or who can’t even buy a video game console, car or even a bike. Try it. Even people with less can be fun and wise.
I don’t know. I think people that judge others for what they have or don’t have are often the ones that are living right to the edge anyway. The person with the BMW or new coach bag is the same person who does not have 2 cents in her bank account.
I have met and worked with people like this. When I was younger, I always thought, what am I doing wrong that I don’t have a brand new (insert shiny object here) and so and so has 5 shiny objects. Now, I realize, for most Americans, it is because they live beyond their means. It’s a facade of wealth.
If people are judging you because of what you have, those are people that are not worth your time anyway. They are shallow.
People that don’t have money to begin with live in this fashion. But definitely cannot choose to be frugal after buying a BMW, condo, house, etc. Because they don’t have those things to begin with. And can’t retire from a pension early after being materialistic their whole to then take their kids to a remote island!! What? Wow?
Can this be written with some sense of reality? Great it is a blog and an opinion and an option to educate myself about hedonism. But, many of are educated or not, or have great jobs or not, or are jobless, or suffered a lot on life….or not….or lived in the red. And in case you don’t know living in the red means having -500 bucks in the bank most of the time for years on end…as we try to get the “madatory” degrees we have to get to get any job. And work at the same time. The apartment is in itself a miracle to live. And many of us did this with no help from family.
So let’s say you do get to 40 to obtain your first “better” paying job. You then have to pay back all the debts. Another 10 years or so.
So at 50. I can begin my life buying some nice stuff. So at 60 I won’t need to look back to see if I was hedonistic. Many of us have no choice to be hedonistic. And it’s ok. My life has been a joy. Even with the so called struggle seen on cooking your own food, walking….etc.
I will never own a car, bike, house, condo, or that kind of stuff. I struggled. I did suffer. But there were many opportunities of joy also.
I agree with the principal – 3 years ago my husband 3 kids and I moved from relative comfort to a tropical extremely remote island to live – literally self sustainable. It was very tough – no hardware stores – so tool maintainence was us – no convince foods – meals planned out according to pigs and fish caught and preserved … It was also incredible for our children – from ‘wanting’ whatever others had to playing in the rain and wandering – now we live on another island much less remote with most modern conviencense – like a washing machine – the appreciation and acceptance continues which is awesome! Accepting what u have, being grateful for that and recognising the value in fresh water washes and mangos ( they grow here) or clean sheets is great
“Make these kinds of choices for a while, and you’ll find that staying financially and physically healthy starts to take care of itself”.
Not quite… This kind of statement assumes that you have sufficient money to begin with, and that you are not living with a serious health condition. It’s worthwhile remembering that neither of these things are a given (and to be grateful when you have them).