“Focus is often a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” –John Carmack
Growing up, my Christmas Eves were simple—and wonderful.
Because my grandfather was a pastor, every Christmas Eve, we would pile into our family car, drive through the South Dakota snow, and attend the little church on Melgaard Road. Following the service, all the relatives would cram into my grandparents’ small house.
We would eat. We would each open 1-2 presents. And make some of the most beautiful memories of my childhood.
Our Christmas was simple and wonderful. I wouldn’t change anything about it. In fact, I think it was wonderful because it was simple. It kept our main thing the main focus of the holiday.
Church came first. Always. Everything else came afterwards—and only as there was room for it. The less important was secondary and never allowed to press out the most important reason of our season.
There is a growing debate over how to fix Christmas. I’m not sure society is at a tipping point quite yet (retail numbers would seem to indicate otherwise). But as holiday displays show up in stores earlier and earlier, as more and more Black Friday sales begin on Thursday, and as consumers sink deeper and deeper into debt, the world is beginning to recognize that our holiday season is broken, expectations have become too high, the perfect Christmas is beginning to appear unattainable, and the less important is beginning to crowd out the most important.
But the perfect holiday season is not as difficult to find as most think. The perfect holiday season is found in simplicity, keeping your main thing the main thing, and not allowing anything less important to take its place.
- Holiday gifts are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Seasonal decorations are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Christmas cookies are fine—just don’t let them distract from the most important.
- Large, delicious meals are fine—just don’t let distract from the most important.
- A busier schedule is manageable—just don’t let it distract from the most important.
Surely, each of us will define our holiday most important differently. Many will seek spiritual renewal. Some will celebrate family. Some will refocus on giving to others. Some will seek rest. Some will set aside this year to remember the passing of a loved one. Others will consider the opportunity to evaluate the passing year and refocus on the next. Many will choose a combination of the above.
But your most important step is to define your main thing this holiday season. When you do, you’ll surely have space to include some of the holiday trimmings. But once you feel the less important beginning to push out the most important, it’s time to refocus, cut-back, and simplify.
This may mean fewer gifts, fewer lights, fewer decorations, fewer cookies, fewer side dishes, and fewer commitments. But that’s okay.
Your Christmas can still be simple—and wonderful. I know mine was.
Don’t know that your grandma found it “simple”. All these themes of keep it simple and make your own gifts, decorations involve someone in the background (usually the woman even if just thinking, planning and organizing and directing everyone else) making sure all these simple organic ideas run smoothly. I am not being a grinch but I think if grandma also just piled in the car to go to church and listen to her husband do his sermon and then came home and just visited without having done the behind the scenes food prep/decorating no matter how simple/gift wrapping it would not be quite so simply wonderful. The idea of “keep it simple” is lovely and family and community and tradition and faith are what make this time magical but don’t ever think it does not come without “someone” making sure that the behind the scenes stuff is done to allow this simple celebration:
I have to agree. I’m all for simplifying and de-commercializing Christmas, and I’ve been working on that this year. But I still feel like (in general – not always) men underestimate and maybe take for granted the amount of work that goes into even a “simple” family celebration. I’m actually kind of curious what would happen if I left everything I usually do up to my husband, and just showed up for it on Christmas Day like he gets to 😅
💝
This article reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha after Martha complained about Mary not helping her in the kitchen: “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” KIS–Keep it Simple and enjoy the precious time with your loved ones. Merry Christmas!
Great point! I have been reading Luke for the 24 days leading to Christmas and just read that again a few days ago. Such great advice in such a simple verse.
I’ve never liked that story. Someone had to cook or nobody would eat. Maybe if Mary had helped Martha in the kitchen Martha would have got some time to sit and relax as well. Martha was serving others just as well by giving up her time to cook. Or maybe I’m just sick of always being stuck in the kitchen while everyone else is having fun and asking when dinner is ready ?
Hi Danielle, I feel the point of the story was that folks had come to see Jesus…. Martha was “the hostess with the mostess” and wanted to bake, cook, etc. Everyone just wanted to be there to listen to Jesus. If Martha had just sat down with everyone else, she wouldn’t have been so stressed. I do understand your point of being the one stuck in the kitchen. If everyone has come to eat – then maybe you can get them to help with the preparation. Maybe ahead of time agree who is going to provide what. If no-one helps – you do only your favorite dish and when they say “hey, where’s the …” you can innocently say, “Oh, I thought someone else would help by bringing that since it’s not my favorite”.
I wonder if that is of any comfort to you. Praying tat it is
Love this 💞
I really enjoy reading your blog! I’m new to minimalism as in only about 5 months in. I stumbled across “The Minimalist Mom” blog over the summer which led me to yours. It’s refreshing and inspiring to read and if I lose focus, I can re-read my favorites and get myself back on track. Thank you so much! By the way, where in South Dakota did you grow up? I grew up in Reliance and currently reside in Sioux Falls.
Agreed on many things…each year we try more and more on the true reason for the season and making family memories. We love to cook together so love that time together.
I have read your blog for a while and never realized your were from SD and better yet near my home. the reference to Melgaard Road make me smile….I miss the simple Christmas celebration in SD with my family.