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Becoming Minimalist

Own less. Live more. Finding minimalism in a world of consumerism.

Want to Live a Happy Life? Science Says to Focus on These 10 Things

Written by guest · 38 Comments

Note: This is a guest post from Jay Harrington of Life and Whim.

How to live a happy life

After a long, brutal winter, it feels great to be outside again in a t-shirt, even if the temperatures aren’t climbing much beyond fifty degrees here in northern Michigan. In our community, which was recently buried in snow, people are out in force, combing beaches for rocks, riding bikes, hiking trails, cruising on paddleboards, and celebrating spring’s arrival. In addition to short sleeves, lots of people are wearing beaming smiles on their faces.

Happiness is in the air. This is true despite the fact that the weather hasn’t even been that great—it just seems great relative to what we’re used to.

Come fall, however, after a long, hot summer, we will start longing for cool, crisp air, and even (for some of us) the first snowflakes flying which will signal the coming ski season. The cycle of expectations and adaptation will then repeat.

As humans, we are always chasing rainbows. We want something—be it different weather, a better job, or a bigger house—but shortly after getting it, we want something different. We adapt to our circumstances, they become the “new normal,” and we want more. We want a happier life.

This phenomenon is called “hedonic adaptation.” It’s a term coined by psychologists Brickman and Campbell in the 1970s to explain our tendency as human beings to chase a happier life, only to return back to our original emotional baseline after getting what we want. We run on a hedonic treadmill, and get nowhere, despite exerting massive effort along the way.

A belief that “bigger and better” leads to a happier life results, paradoxically, in less of it. We work really hard because we want more. We obtain more, and the shine soon wears off. So we work harder, in pursuit of even more, and become less happy as a result. The beat goes on.

It’s clear from the science that the acquisition of bigger and better things doesn’t result in a happy life. So what will?

A Happy Life is a Journey, Not a Destination

In his book Happier, Harvard lecturer Tal Ben-Shahar defines the “arrival fallacy,” which is a corollary to the concept of hedonic adaptation. He describes the arrival fallacy as: “The false belief that reaching a valued destination can sustain happiness.”

I’ve certainly fallen victim to the arrival fallacy, having felt at first elated, then almost immediately letdown, following job promotions, raises, and new car or home purchases. I wanted these things so badly, but the reality of obtaining them was far different than my expectations.

In an interesting study from the 1970s, researchers studied the happiness levels of two different groups of people: lottery winners and accident victims. The surprising result of the study was that, once the initial elation of winning the lottery and shock of the accident wore off, both groups returned to their original levels of happiness. Over the long-term, these drastically different external events—one seemingly positive and the other negative—had no appreciable impact on happiness.

If winning the lottery won’t make us happier, what will? Ben-Shahar suggests that it is not reaching a particular destination (metaphorically speaking) that makes us happy, but rather learning to appreciate the journey toward the destination:

Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.

In this sense, ambition, itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing. If humans did not want for more then we’d still be living in caves, without access to basic, modern human necessities such as electricity and clean water, nor marvels of human ingenuity such as modern medicine, art, and technology.

Problems arise when we allow the unending pursuit of growth and acquisition to inhibit our pursuit of happiness. Both ambitions—happiness and growth—can coexist, but only in balance. Growth can crowd out a happy life if you’re not careful.

One of the most important and growing costs of the modern way of life is ‘cultural fraud’: the promotion of images and ideals of ‘the good life’ that serve the economy but do not meet psychological needs, nor reflect social realities. —Richard Eckersley

I would, of course, never presume to suggest that I know what makes you, or anyone else, happy. We all have distinct visions, preferences, and desires for our lives. But years of scientific research suggests that certain things make most of us happy. In particular, happiness is not derived from attaining outward signals of success (bigger and better in order to “keep up with the Joneses”), but rather seeking satisfaction from new and novel experiences in pursuit of a life well-lived.

How to Live a Happy Life

What types of experiences pay the biggest happiness dividends?

I recently attended a conference in New Orleans and the keynote speaker was the University of Amherst professor, Catherine A. Sanderson, author of Science of Happiness. She is known as “The Happiness Professor.” Sanderson explained that there are 10 ways to increase your everyday happiness, according to decades worth of scientific research:

1. Make little changes in your daily routine, such as getting more sleep, exercising, getting out into nature, and meditating.

2. Read more books. Read books to learn—research suggests that lifelong learners remain healthy and engaged, and live long lives. Read books as an escape from your everyday life, Read books—it will make you happy.

3. Find your right fit or match, both personally and professionally. If you love what you do and who you are with, you’ll position yourself for personal happiness and professional success.

4. Be grateful. Sanderson suggested two specific activities to help foster a greater sense of gratitude. First, keep a daily gratitude journal. Second, pay a “gratitude visit” to someone from your past who has had a significant impact on your life, and let them know how you feel.

5. Smile more—even if you don’t feel like it. Research shows that the simple act of smiling can trick your brain into a happier state.

6. Relish simple, everyday moments. Appreciating life’s small moments, such as a beautiful, sunny day, green shoots sprouting from the ground, and skipping rocks at the beach, teaches you to be more grateful for what you have, especially during moments of stress and angst.

7. Perform random acts of kindness. Do good deeds. Volunteer. Be charitable. Shop (for someone else!). Numerous studies have shown that you can help yourself by doing good for others.

8. Spend money on experiences versus things. Studies have shown that buying an object—a car, handbag, or kitchen gadget—can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse. On the other hand, investing in experiences—a concert, a camping trip, music lessons—leads to greater happiness. Experiences create “happiness residue,” and our perceptions of them often get better over time.

9. Avoid comparisons. Whatever you may think of someone else’s life, particularly as viewed through the phony, filtered lens of social media, it’s almost certainly messier than you imagine. It’s easier to embrace, and learn to love, your own imperfections, if you don’t conjure up myths about how perfect everyone else’s lives seem.

10. Build and maintain close relationships. According to Sanderson, having a small number of tight, meaningful relationships is one of the highest predictors of happiness.

Don’t feel bad if you lose sight of some of these happiness priorities—we all do. We have to battle relentless marketing and societal expectations that suggest that the path to happiness lies elsewhere.

People are exposed to many messages that encourage them to believe that a change of weight, scent, hair color (or coverage), car, clothes, or many other aspects will produce a marked improvement in their happiness. Our research suggests a moral, and a warning: Nothing that you focus on will make as much difference as you think. —Daniel Kahneman

Don’t over-complicate your pursuit of happiness. As the research suggests, it’s the simple things that matter most for a happy life. Make happiness a habit that is within your control, rather than seeking it from external sources. Life is nothing but a series of moments, both big and small, and the key to living a happy life lies is living each one with purpose and intention.

***

Jay Harrington is a “reformed lawyer” turned author and entrepreneur, and blogs at Life and Whim where he helps people find purpose and live big through small moments. You can also find him on Facebook.

Comments

  1. Jack says

    August 4, 2022 at 8:02 PM

    I agree with every factor that you have pointed out. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts on this.

    Reply
  2. N.K.Sunder Raj says

    April 6, 2021 at 6:39 AM

    Very interesting.

    Reply
  3. Alex says

    March 27, 2021 at 6:11 PM

    Being grateful is very important.

    Reply
  4. Quintina Fernandes says

    September 1, 2020 at 8:18 AM

    Thank you for straightening our paths, you are making alot of lives easier in a small state like Goa, India. Much gratitude.

    Reply
  5. Joyce says

    October 21, 2019 at 6:43 AM

    Amen, and that’s the most important part that should not and cannot be left out, God bless you

    Reply
  6. joshua becker says

    May 15, 2018 at 11:21 AM

    Thanks for your feedback, it’s appreciated!

    Reply
    • Michael DiCroce says

      September 4, 2020 at 2:40 PM

      I’m surprised sobriety isn’t on this list. Should be.

      Reply
  7. Tracey says

    May 8, 2018 at 8:51 AM

    I love these really great suggestions.
    Thank you so much for sharing, an awesome way to start the day!

    Reply
    • Stacey says

      September 6, 2020 at 8:16 AM

      Good point!

      Reply
  8. Fortune Dushey says

    May 8, 2018 at 4:42 AM

    Thank you for sharing these amazing tips. Need to print this out! Each one is right on. I think the one I get stuck on the most is comparisons but then I think of that quote “compare and despair” and try to move right along.

    Reply
  9. Shelly Campbell says

    May 7, 2018 at 3:10 AM

    Great post and just exactly what I needed to read, I have been coming to this conclusion myself over the past few days and alas, here is another viewpoint that cements it for me. Thank You x

    Reply
  10. Aida Colon says

    May 6, 2018 at 11:47 PM

    Great message for the very young and old. Thank you.

    Reply
  11. Elvira says

    May 6, 2018 at 9:45 PM

    This is such a beautiful post! not many people realize that you can find happiness in a simple and easy way :)

    Reply
  12. Nel says

    May 6, 2018 at 3:00 AM

    No, thanks. This is Crap advice. ignore the reality and build your own.

    Reply
    • HollyG says

      May 6, 2018 at 7:57 PM

      @Nel: Sorry you’re so angry.

      Great article and I enjoyed the “de-emphasis” on materialism…… the bane of our existence.

      Reply
  13. Jo says

    May 6, 2018 at 1:46 AM

    Thank you for this fantastic article – it’s all so true that it’s the simple things that make us happy. In the past I have set myself tough goals and once I have reached the pinnacle – I find myself disappointed and realise that the journey behind me was what it was all about (if only had been more present then and not so goal orientated). Now I take my time to enjoy the journey and am less tough on myself. I have changed careers to something I am passionate about and the rest seems to be following in terms of happiness and CONTENTMENT.

    Reply
  14. Jackie says

    May 5, 2018 at 6:30 PM

    I so agree.

    Reply
  15. K says

    May 5, 2018 at 4:31 PM

    Nice article, but he omitted one very critical ingredient to achieving happiness, which is a personal relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. Without that, there will always be a cosmic size void that only God, (Yahweh) Himself can fill.

    Reply
  16. Roxane says

    May 5, 2018 at 2:01 PM

    Love it! Great Hana pic too. Waioka (Venus Pool) is one of my happy places.

    Reply
  17. Lani says

    May 5, 2018 at 1:55 PM

    A most wonderful article! I simply cannot be reminded enough of such beauty in each and every point of your article. Thank you for you inspiration today!

    Reply
  18. Barry Cash says

    May 5, 2018 at 1:46 PM

    Rich people don’t seem happy they always want more, more, more. They can’t use it all so how can it make them happy? We are being conned by capitalism to believe that buying more will bring happiness but it doesn’t.

    Reply
  19. Liz says

    May 5, 2018 at 8:49 AM

    Happiness to you and thank-you for your inspiring words. The self-gift of awareness with meditation and mindfulness is most often the best place to start the “happiness journey”. There is always hope that more happiness brings more peace- yet it’s inner peace that brings more happiness.

    Reply
  20. Sarita says

    May 5, 2018 at 2:53 AM

    Be mindful..

    Reply
  21. Bill Peterson says

    May 4, 2018 at 4:43 AM

    This is one of the best articles I’ve read on the Minamalists’ movement toward simplicity and happiness. We all must swim up steam against the larger system that tries to drown us into believing our happiness lies outside ourselves.

    Reply
  22. PRANITA DESHPANDE says

    May 4, 2018 at 3:36 AM

    Very nice message to us.

    Reply
  23. PRANITA DESHPANDE says

    May 4, 2018 at 3:36 AM

    Very nice message to us. Thanks for nice post.

    Reply
  24. laura ann says

    May 3, 2018 at 3:47 PM

    Meaningful relationships (close friends): Several of my closest friends passed on in recent years, leaving a void for sometime. We had wonderful times together.
    Another one is in bad shape health wise (we are all retirees). I have to have like minded friends with common sense. People like that are not easy to find. Pruning old dead end relationships we outgrow, is a must. Dump people that drag you down, are shallow, etc. Friends you had when younger may be different people today. I spend much time reading and outdoor activities. Have done much decluttering over past year, less stress less housework.

    Reply
  25. Daer says

    May 3, 2018 at 9:29 AM

    Only rich people afford to be minimalist.

    Reply
    • Justin says

      May 5, 2018 at 5:01 AM

      Poor people can’t afford NOT to be

      Reply
  26. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says

    May 3, 2018 at 9:10 AM

    I so agree with every single one of your ideas. And even though I blog about much of the same things myself, I don’t think any of us can hear this message too much. Thank you!

    Reply
  27. Marsha says

    May 3, 2018 at 8:36 AM

    Good post. Thanks.

    Reply
  28. Sarah says

    May 3, 2018 at 7:48 AM

    Smile more, even if you don’t feel like It? That’s what number 5 says.
    But that’s just not being “real”.
    I’m not sure I agree with all of the the article.

    Reply
    • No says

      May 3, 2018 at 9:47 AM

      Multiple studies have demonstrated a strong correlation there. That said, pretty weak article.

      Reply
  29. Brian Evans says

    May 3, 2018 at 7:36 AM

    I love this post. I’m in the process of simplifying. It’s not about the material goods we have. For me, happiness comes from the time I can spend with the people I care about. Finding gratitude and being thankful for the moments I can share with those people really brightens my life. Thank you for the great post!

    Reply
  30. Ashley Logsdon says

    May 3, 2018 at 6:56 AM

    Love this! It’s so true. We decided that the best path to happiness was simplifying the complexities we had in our lives – the clutter, the obligations, and confinement. We downsized to a 240 square foot travel trailer and have been RVing the States full time since October 2016. What we’ve found is that our happiness is not based on the location, and it’s not something we can simply wait for perfect circumstances…it’s a choice. To live in gratitude, to embrace the moment, and to strive for connection with others. This is where we find happiness. In our tiny home, we are happy with little and our hearts still remain full. Thanks for the excellent post!

    Reply
  31. Dads Dollars Debts says

    May 3, 2018 at 6:45 AM

    Trying to find enjoyment in the daily things is what I have found to be most productive on my journey. And doing what you enjoy while being surrounded by people you love and trust cannot be underestimated. Great morning read. Have a good day.

    Reply
  32. Jack Grimes says

    May 3, 2018 at 6:43 AM

    YES. It can so simple and easy to do all ten of these things to be happy and it is so simple and easy to not do any of them and be unhappy. It is always my choice. Thank-you.

    Reply
  33. Mike Wanek says

    May 3, 2018 at 6:23 AM

    AMEN! What a breath of fresh air. Once we get over our “things to make me happy” mentality we can truly find that fulfillment in life is reached simply by LIVING and being a part of the world that has been created for us. When we notice our surroundings it is easy to be grateful.

    Reply

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