Never underestimate the importance of abandoning crap you don’t need.
Encouragement is important in all areas of life, but especially when trying to live a life different than those around us.
Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.
Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.
Each post was intentionality chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
Lessons From One Family’s Quest to Buy Nothing New for a Year | Chicago Tribune by Heidi Stevens. When you’re not buying things that are new, you have a different way of looking at things.
The Secret to a Simplified Schedule | No Sidebar by Melissa Camara Wilkins. Saying yes to the best stuff means saying no to everything else, even some really good things.
Why I Got Rid of the Toys | Dallas Moms Blog by Denaye Barahona. “The answer to my problem was having fewer toys, and picking the right toys.”
Man (Dis)connected: How Technology Has Sabotaged What It Means To Be Male | The Guardian by Stuart Jeffries. Boys now spend 44 hours in front of a TV, smartphone or computer for every half hour in conversation with their fathers.
Thanks for linking to “Man (Dis)Connected” Josh. I found that article particularly poignant and I enjoyed reading it. The nature of masculinity is changing, and not necessarily in good ways. (Just as the nature of femininity has changed.) Social commentary that indicates things aren’t as great as we’d hoped, are never popular. “Stereotyping” is a silly word people like to throw around when a view isn’t deemed progressive enough. I notice women in particular getting upset. Being a 30-something woman myself, I find the ideas presented in the article very unsurprising and bitterly true. Women are NOT men. We have some fundamentally different psychological requirements. Studies show women are much more resilient emotionally, whereas boys are (surprised?) more delicate. They need a different kind of nurturing than girls, to bring them to the final point of strength and mental independence we call masculinity. Women can’t model masculinity. Only men can model masculinity. Certainly, we can model strength, discipline, courage, etc. but we cannot, as women, model how to be a man. Just as men cannot model womanhood. We have a lot of cases of arrested development. Unfettered use of technology (porn, gaming, etc.) ensures boys are entertained while they remain boys the whole of their lives. Not surprisingly, some men regress to boyhood whims and behaviors as well. Connecting all of this to minimalism is obvious: Temper the use of technology. Know what your sons are watching and doing online. If they’re showing timidity, facilitate interaction with life/women/the outdoors, whatever the case may be, to give them a broader experience. It’s just too easy for boys to sink into social apathy these days.
Since everyone’s talking about the article from “The Guardian,” I suppose I will, too.
I read all the comments–positive and negative–then I re-read the article with these comments in mind. I appreciate the dialogue because it forced me to examine my own thoughts. I find myself disagreeing with the majority of critical comments.
I agree with some aspects of the article, I think other aspects need more refinement, and I felt uncomfortable reading certain sections (e.g. inner workings of the adult industry).
However, I find nothing mean-spirited or contrary to my personal experience. My wife and I worked at a number of churches and parochial grade-schools in urban settings. I recall the boy raised by a single mother telling my wife that he’s “sick of women telling me what to do.” Other single-parent boys nodded in agreement.
When I taught creative writing girls did better in writing assignments and had better character development than boys did. Boys had more action and fights.
I’ve counseled a number of men who became involved in pornography at a shockingly young age; they themselves made the connection between porn and personal disconnectedness. They feel shame and the develop a low self-esteem.
Prying away kids from their smart phones is becoming increasingly difficult for me and I notice that the boys I teach react with physical tantrums and yelling while I have very few problems getting girls to put their phones away.
The solutions don’t appear off-base either. Boys and girls would benefit from a diverse grade school faculty. Unstructured free time (recess) allows time for reflection, creativity, and mental space for all. Boys’/Men’s clubs and mentorships are as valuable as Girls’/Women’s clubs and mentorships. Dancing isn’t really my thing, but “Dancing with the Stars” seems to be a popular show among women. Encouraging fathers to parent their children provides numerous societal benefits.
This article explored some of the difficulties boys face growing up in a Western society. The article argues that boys deal with the stress through escaping into technology, which only leads to more problems. The article suggests developing personal relationships with mentors is a potentially-effective way to deal with stress in a healthy way. The article’s focus is young boys, not adult husbands. There was nothing about homosexuality.
I agree that the line about women going to college to find a husband detracted from the article. I also agree that the tone was too informal for a serious topic. I also see a lot worth taking to heart.
And finally, the connections I see with minimalism are (a) invest in your relationships, especially with the young; (b) excessive screen time should be limited because of its harm; (c) be true to yourself and allow others to be their own people. That being said, I would like to see more articles that are more explicit in their minimalist connection.
But if you asked any kid if they were sick of adults telling them what to do, wouldn’t they say yes? That is what childhood is like– adults telling you what to do! I think what is telling is that we feel sorry for boys for having to listen to women, as if this is some kind of burden, when we would not feel sorry for them for having to listen to men! And research bears this out– men and women alike are more critical of women in authority, more resistant to following their instructions, more likely to interrupt and talk over women, and more likely to ignore the input of women.
We teach boys that women aren’t important. One of the ways we do this is when we pity them for having to have women teachers or listen to their mothers.
^^ YES SADIE!!!
None of the critical comments have argued that boys don’t need fathers or male role models. None of them have argued that there are no differences between boys and girls. What we have objected to are sentiments like:
-“Boys don’t write diaries!” (someone please inform Jack Kerouac, Harry Truman, Elie Wiesel, Thoreau, etc)
-Mothers cannot set disciplinary boundaries as well as fathers
-Fathers do not unconditionally love their children
-“…boys don’t man up as previous generations of males ostensibly did.”
-That you can “trace a lot of that poor performance of black kids to not having a father present to make demands and not setting limits.” (as opposed to a demonstrable history of racism in the form of housing, school, job, and judicial discrimination, all of which also have a lot to do with the rates of single parenthood to begin with)
-That girls do not suffer from the lack of a father as much as boys do (demonstrably false; linking this with college education rates is misleading. Link it with lifetime earning potential and you’ll get a much better picture)
-“obviously one reason you go to college is to find a guy.”
-“Boys have never been self-reflective.” (someone please tell Descartes, Pascal, Proust, Augustine, etc)
-“Boys are focused on doing and acting, girls are more focused on being and feeling.” Girls are actively discouraged from doing and acting from birth (Remember this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP3cyRRAfX0). Infant girls (or, as one study found, infant boys, if given pink hats) are held more, spoken to more softly, and engaged in less active play than infant boys. Boys are discouraged from visibly emoting in the same way.
-Female teachers “don’t like boys running around.” But we let boys run largely free before sending them to school, and so yes, they’re unprepared for what classroom life is now like. Even so, classroom analysis shows that boys typically receive much more attention and coaching from their teachers than girls do. Sexism cuts both ways.
The “war on boys” narrative conflates school performance with long-term success and earnings (particularly broken in the case of women and minorities, who do not reap financial gains from education as effectively as their male peers). It ignores the fact that school policy is increasingly set not by teachers or even educators, but by insurance mandates, lobbyists, and educational profiteers. It ignores the fact that our economy has been steadily moving away from manual labor, and we have asked our schools to prepare kids to live in this economy. It ignores that before middle-class women began working outside the home in large numbers, poor women had been working outside it for as long as men had (and we never discuss how it may have affected the children of what was a largely agrarian nation when their fathers left the family farms to “work outside the home.” Even less do we talk about how that shift may have affected the institutions of marriage and divorce).
Thank you for taking time to write your comment. I especially appreciate how you mention your experience with how difficult it is to take iphones away from boys. The commenters complaining are not mentioning whether their boys are addicted to technology…because it is likely they are.
lucy lu says
There is no way to read the first article you linked to, which looks to be the most interesting. the last article from the wacko professor… yeah…not impressed. :(
I too have to say my piece about the last article because I am astounded that it’s being defended because part of the message inspired you. I would like to play devils advocate here and suggest the if the article inspired you to be more present with your son but all pushed mass consumerism as a be all end all to happiness or something else your public profile is vermently against you probably wouldn’t post it here. I don’t understand then how you can post something that is both subtly racist, and overtly sexist and homophobic, and then defend it as something that moved you to action therefore worth encouraging others to click through and read. The few good points this article make are made by thousands of bloggers who don’t pass on racist sexist outdated unhelpful messages. I usually love your weekend roundup but am super disappointed in this one article enough to stop clicking. Just like voting with my dollars when I buy I believe I vote with my clicks when I am online. That article does not deserve to go viral or any spotlight really and I hope the negative feedback from your readers inspires you to look inward and see how you missed all the offensive quotes in that article.
“Encouragement is important in all areas of life, but especially when trying to live a life different than those around us.” It takes courage and encouragement to strive for simplicity as you advocate. Or to be a single parent. It takes courage to be openly homosexual at all, and especially to be same-sex parents. Encouragement helps young women pursuing advanced degrees fend off questions about when they plan to “find a guy.” It’s a shame that people seeking encouragement about the first were met, in the last article, with the usual discouragement about the rest.
I’m so glad you found something wholesome and helpful in that article, and I absolutely believe you that you didn’t see it as offensive when you read and chose it. Still, I found it strange that a man who keeps what is essentially a public, introspective diary could endorse an article asserting that “boys have never been self-reflective” and that a diary would be the worst imaginable gift for a young boy. Perhaps in your next moment of self-reflection you could consider the ways in which being a heterosexual white male heading a two-parent household might have insulated you from the prejudiced overtones of the expert quoted in the article. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, but it might be worth a thought.
Oh I wish I had of read this reply before I wrote my own. Because I simply would have said “ditto”. Helen says it more eloquently than me, and with much fewer typos, although typing on my iPhone doesn’t help. Also I came from a place of anger (at the article) instead of a place of encouragement. Thanks Helen for so clearly articulating what I wanted to.
Forcing a boy to sit still in school, with no PE, no wiggle time, and then forcing him to write a dairy is likely to result in that boy not wanting to write. However, providing him with freedom and movement, and also inviting him to read and write by making great books and paper available can lead to a love of these things. Ask any teacher, ask moms of boys. This is why I homeschool. I grew up with them. I have 3 of them. :)
Seems to me the article accomplished exactly what it set out to do – get comments and raise the website ranking on google. Controversy does that. It actually got people thinking about values and proves once again – when we pass judgement on others we reveal who WE are…
Less is more. Thank you for sharing.
We’re working on having less (stuff, busyness, and so on) in our lives so we can spend more time living and being and together. I’m writing about our efforts each week here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/simplify-saturday/
Jo Ice says
I feel a need to add my “me, too!” of concern about the last article. Fathers are important, no doubt, but surely you could have found an article that says so without resorting to ridiculous gender stereotypes. It is difficult to process the main message when you’re sputtering with indignation about being told because you’re female you went to college to get a guy, or that men don’t write in diaries (I’m sure my journaling husband is a man — I don’t think he could have been fooling me for the last 31 years).
He was speaking of boys being forced to write in diaries in school. Being forced is the key.
I am genuinely upset at that last article but not for the same reason as everyone else. Philip Zimbabwe was a great psychologist, who did ground breaking research that changed our understanding of social roles. So it is really sad to see him turning out this kind of work. He sounds likes an old man protesting that the world has moved on (a genre that has been around as long as writing; certainly Horace’s Roman odes contain some classic “youths of today are no good” moaning). I can’t help thinking that he has projected his feeling of disconnection from society onto the youngest generation of men. Perhaps, the message we should be taking away is how to connect with the older generation so they don’t turn to racism and sexism to find a narrative that makes sense to them!
And, of course, Zimbabwe should be Zimbardo. Autocorrect – why do you do this to me?!
Everything I would say about the fathers article has been said, though I understand it was included as a reminder to be intentional about spending one’s time.
To share a trying-for-minimalism success – I need to replace some of my wardrobe due to weight loss. Replacing “all those jeans” is all of 2 pair (and they refused to shrink when I washed them in hot water). Who knows? Maybe one pair will suffice. The work wardrobe is more challenging to minimize, but I’m sure there’s a at to get there.
I was a single mother and it was hard. If it wasn’t for my parents who stepped in and helped me every step of the way, I doubt my daughter who is now 32 wouldn’t have turned out so well.
My daughter will give birth in less than a week and she’s having a son. Her husband is going to be a great father. My daughter works until 7:30pm and he’s so excited he gets to do the night routine on the evenings she’ll be working. I have no doubt about his dedication to my grandson.
A child does need a mother and father of this I can say even because of my own experience. The message got lost because of all the other issues others have already pointed out. It’s too bad, because the point is an important one.
Thank you for sharing this! This article is so hard for so many to accept because so many of us know that our children are already in front of screens too much, addicted to some/all of the mentioned items, and we don’t want to feel guilty. Instead of getting angry, I hope this inspires change.
Bob Pepe says
I come to this website to reflect, relax and hopefully learn something. This is not a Facebook political site that people are flinging insults at each other, But I have to comment on this article.
It is “Spot-On”…… Children need a mother and a father in the house. That gives the child the best chance to succeed in life. This may be hard to swallow in our liberal society, but a Man and a Women is better than 2 men or 2 women or 1 man or 1 women in the house.
I am not suggesting that gays shouldn’t be able to adopt or can’t raise children, but it is another hurdle for the kids to overcome. A single parent (male or female) is that much worse. It is brutally hard raising children (I am raising 2 teenage girls) with my wife and there are things that I can’t do that she can and vise versa. Men and women are wired differently and we have to use everything we have to raise kids.
Don’t mean to hurt any feelings, but that is a fact, regardless of how the Liberal media spins it
I enjoy the discourse about this last article. Yes, more father-time with kids, yes, our schools’ principles (create nice folders, sit still) seem to work better with girls than boys (these are supported by various statistics btw), it doesn’t have anything to do with black/white (can’t, since Afro-Germans are scarce and we still face the same problem). The accessibility of porn DOES harm our kids, to say so is not anti-sex but anti-porn-for-12-year-olds.
It is SO important for kids to have male role models, and it’s important to realize (at home and in school) that boys and girls on a wide scale ARE different from each other. It doesn’t matter if the difference is imprinted by pre-kindergarden cultural conditioning, at the time they start school it’s there, and we teachers have to work with that instead of acting as if everyone was the same…
On another note, I really liked the ‘reduce the toys’-article. In case you care to ‘visit’ a Montessori-inspired home beyond the playroom, check this Austrian blog (the pics will mostly speak for themselves, if there’s a language barrier:
I, too, found the last article appalling. It reduces fathers to nothing but a gender. Kids who have lost a father aren’t suffering from the lack of a male. They’re suffering from the lack of a second parent who is totally invested in them.
The idea that fathers give conditional love would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic. I know a lot of fathers. The few who withhold affection to try to drive their kids to succeed are the ones with broken kids and, in the end, broken relationships with them.
I won’t go on listing the ways this article demeans women, but it was flat-out insulting. You can champion the importance of fathers perfectly well without painting mothers as ineffectual at discipline, and you can make a case that boys need male teachers without assigning negative characteristics to female teachers! You can promote physical activity in school without trying to pretend girl children don’t need it, too. I’d be on board with any of those things.
Men don’t need to play a role in a child’s life–playing roles is for actors, and there are plenty of those on TV. Men need to be genuine, caring, and thoughtful parents to their children and loving, mindful spouses. That is what their sons need to see.
I have to agree with the original poster. While fathers do have an important role to play there are a lot of reasons that fathers are not around. It take a village to raise children and putting so much emphasis on fathers playing a specific role puts children without fathers (for a variety of reasons ie death from illness) appears to rule out any chance of the child becoming a fully functioning constructive member of society.
I’m am glad that Joshua took home that he should be active and engaged with his son but I am worried that he seemed to miss the fact that the article seemed to suggest the only reason boys should go to college was for women to find people to marry amongst the other “gender stereotypes and subtle racism”
Cheryl Smith says
Joshua, you are doing a GREAT job. Keep up the wonderful work you do here. I cannot begin to tell you how much you are helping my family and me as we take these one-day-at-a-time steps towards a simpler life. It is amazing how God is leading us, and He is using you to encourage us on our journey. Thank you for encouraging fathers to stay the course and be there for their sons and daughters, maintaining their God-given and God-ordained role in the home. Thank you for your integrity, good intentions, and everything you put into this blog. After all, we pay nothing for the wonderful encouragement and service we find here, yet, you continue to bestow your gifts by pouring into our lives with every post you write. Every time I leave here, I am inspired to let go of excess and move closer to the freedom from entanglements and encumbrances!! God bless you for all you do!
I agree with the majority. While I enjoyed most articles listed here, I don’t see why the last article was included. I read the whole thing waiting to see how the ideas could possibly tie into minimalism and, besides the references to technology in the beginning, I didn’t find anything.
Leaving out the heterosexual bias, the subtle racism, and the extreme stereotyping others have already mentioned and focusing only on the applicability to minimalism, by posting it you seem to imply that the only solution for boys spending less time on the Internet is to have a father around. That the best solution for a single mother who wants her sons to spend more time out of their room is to remarry a man who will love her children only conditionally and enforce standards a mother’s unconditional love is apparently incapable of.
The article comes close to making some good points, but its biases and especially its complete lack of relationship to minimalism make it inappropriate for this list.
joshua becker says
Thanks for the comment and thoughts Rochelle. I certainly meant in no way to imply that the only solution for boys spending less time on the Internet is to have a father around. This article challenged me to become more intentional in the fathering of my son. And I hoped it would encourage others to do the same.
I have read each of the comments above. But I must admit, I fail to see how an article that exhorts fathers to play a more active and engaged role in the parenting of their sons is a bad thing. On the contrary, I think it is a vitally important message for all of us.
Thanks for responding. I know you didn’t mean to imply it, since every article I’ve read that you have written was thoughtful and well arriculated.
I agree that spending time with our children (as mothers AND fathers, with sons AND daughters) is vital and one of the best benefits of a minimalist lifestyle. The article on having fewer toys at home inspired me to redo my daughter’s room this afternoon and we loved the time together. There are just many other articles I have read that make the point better, with cited research (and/or direct anecdote), and without implying that mothers (either single or lesbian) are incapable of raising decent sons on their own.
(For full disclosure, I am married and have a daughter. My husband is fully involved with her, so it is only on principle that I find the article problematic.)
That part of the message – of encouraging the vital role fathers play, and the increasing disconnect of our boys and young men – is so important and so true! I haven’t read any comments that would counter thataspect of the article.
What people are finding difficult is the way this particular author has presented this argument: through sweeping gender and sexual stereotypes that don’t do any favours for either sex. Men are more than just rule-enforcers handing out conditional love, and women are more than just “I gave birth to you so nothing you ever do wrong will upset me” or “stop running around, I can’t handle physical activity”.
As a veteran teacher of 20 years, and having worked both in an economically depressed area and a more wealthy area, I have seen it all. If we are speaking in an overall manner, the article is dead on – I believe, thank you Josh for having the courage to link it. Of course, there are always those instances where people, children, families don’t fall into the statistical average and I think that some people who live very nice lives don’t understand how the other half live and the struggles they face. My time living on a reservation was a very rude awakening. I will never forget the time that a boy student told me I was incredibly wealthy because I had a father…
I also appreciated the sobering article about boys and manhood. It probably makes some uncomfortable because the truth is painful. Thank you for posting it anyway.
Really disappointed in the articles chosen for this week’s post. Unable to access one and another is just too out there. Please vet your suggestions and recommendations more closely. There is also the danger of pushing out a stale message. You have inspired me, made me laugh, and challenged me to think carefully about my consumer choices. Please don’t dilute or confuse the message.
I read your blog with very interest and i learn from your articles every day something.
Mine questionnaires to you Joshua is how do you and your family live with minimalism? How does looks your house? How do you use minimalism in your every day life?
It’s discouraging that so many of your readers are so easily able to discount the importance of fathers. Keep up the good work Josh.
Frustrated Mom says
Nobody is discounting the importance of fathers. We are discounting the stereotypes he is giving without resources or data. My husband is a terrific father and I am so thankful for him! He does not fit into what is in the article, at all.
Zimbardo claims that a majority of African-American boys have been brought up in female-dominated households for generations. “Sixty, 70% grow up in a female world. I would trace a lot of that poor performance of black kids to not having a father present to make demands and not setting limits. This is now spilling out of the black community to the white community.”
Sorry, but after reading this “statistic” I had to wonder if this was a joke article.
I cannot access the Heidi Stevens article at all. Pop ups from the Chicago Tribune first obscure everything, and then when I close those down I am given their “front page,” not the article. :(
Gail Grant says
A trick is if you have a facebook page, copy the URL into your feed and post it and then click the link. Then you can read the article. Just delete the post if you don’t want it in your news feed.
wow, and I had a completely different take on it. I know too many boys who either committed suicide or attempted suicide and too many boys on Ritalin because of their ‘hyper-activity’ to say the article is wrong. And see too many young people engrossed in on-line activities rather than social ones. Thank good for freedom of thought and expression.
I’m very disappointed in the suggestion of the article, “Man (Dis)connected: How Technology Has Sabotaged What It Means To Be Male”. I found it disadvantageous; filled with statistical assumptions and hurtful, gender stereotypes. I don’t disagree that children benefit from the participation of two caring, involved parents (when available)… but this article is a poor platform for encouraging that idea. I was very turned off by it.
Ama Johnston says
I really enjoyed the first few but that last one… Are you sure? That is one of the most deluded pieces of gender stereotyping, homophobia, and sex negative pieces of writing I have ever seen. Just wow. Are you sure this is a message you want to spread so widely?
Thank you for saying this! That article was also included in the email newsletter, so I read it a few days ago, and it left quite an icky taste in my mouth. Such a load of phobic garbage.
joshua becker says
Thanks for the feedback.
I think it is vitally important for men to be involved in the lives of their sons. This article challenged me to become even more intentional and invested in mine. And I hoped it would encourage others to do the same.
No one’s disputing the importance that men are involved in their son’s lives. I’m interested how you found the article that bemoans “feminised schools” and characterizes a social ill (absent fathers) as “spilling out of the black community to the white community” inspiring to men raising sons? And what are we supposed to gain in mindfulness with quotes like, “So they’re going to have to have affirmative action for guys because obviously one reason you go to college is to find a guy”? I mean, the article asserts that boys are bad at self-reflection because they’re boys, and the worst thing we could have them do is journal…because they’re boys. Maybe the site should embrace the idea the article is putting across about feminised activities like writing and reflecting being best left to ladies and instead focus on where it can really shine according to the article’s expert: dance class.
That’s a very good takeaway, and the first paragraph in the article does say that…but then the rest of the article is Zimbardo blaming virtual culture in general (and single mothers rather specificially) for whatever “failture” boys are today. He doesn’t really talk about how fathers can connect with their sons at all.
The article reeks of Zimbardo’s own chauvanism. “Obviously one reason you go to college is to find a guy.” Excuse me? I went to college to get my Bachelor’s degree. If I wanted to get a guy, I think I could figure out a way that didn’t involve a bunch of student loans.
I could go on (because I practically hate every sentence in the whole article), but the biggest and funniest impression I get from the article is that Zimbardo thinks boys aren’t getting enough tail. He’s afraid porn will distort their view of women and prevent them from getting girls, He’s afraid virtual technology will make them uninterested in real girls. He suggests they learn to dance so they can get girls….sheesh.
I’m glad that your take away was inspiration to be a better dad. However, I couldn’t get past the first or second paragraph that said a father’s love was “provisional.” I really hope that’s not the case! That was *not* my experience with my father at all, and the though of that is horrifying. Both my husband and I can unconditionally love our daughter AND hold her to appropriate standards in life.
I usually love your site, but the link to this article is really really disappointing.
Also, when people whine and moan about “feminized” schools they forget that our current school structure was initially developed to educate BOYS. Not girls.
Agreed! I generally look forward to all of the articles suggested in this series, but that last piece was utter nonsense. The entire article is centered around outdated, stereotypical definitions of masculinity and femininity – and offers little to no insight on how technology may/may not be leaving us disconnected. Glad to know I’m not the only one who had such a reaction!
“Glad to know I’m not the only one who had such a reaction!” 
Why did you read so much into this post? It must have touched a nerve. No one wants to hear and believe the true facts anymore. They always hide behind statements like yours. Stop throwing around the “liberal” words and just look at it the way it is meant. A man should be a man and be taught what love, responsibility and compassion is. Far to few of them these days. Boys without fathers because they run away from the things I listed above. So they can have “their” life with no hassles of a kid. And by no means am I leaving women out if this. Same goes for a girl and a mom.
Frustrated Mom says
Totally. That is full of gender-based stereotypes. My grandmother was the disciplinarian and my grandfather was the one who unconditionally loved. If my kids come home with all C’s when they should be getting A’s, no. It is not okay.
Did he not learn the value of intrinsic motivation? If you Google intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation, we find that intrinsic is what causes the stronger learning of the behavior. That is basic psychology.
Why aren’t there more males in the classroom? My guess is that it was a result of many men going to war and boys no longer having men as role models in those positions to imagine themselves doing that work. It is seen as women’s work, which means they are respected less and paid less than other male-dominated career fields which require a similar investment in education.
Yes – ALL kids need to get their wiggles out. PE should not be removed from curricula any more than art or music – which all are threatened by budget cuts.
This guy had all kinds of ideas that he spewed, but no resources with which to back them. Perhaps a better description for this guy would be “pundit” rather than “psychologist.”
Oh thank goodness it wasn’t just me. There was some good advice and information to think about in the last article, however it was so laced with sweeping generalisations and gender/sexual stereotyping I was frowning the whole way trying to work it out! Yes, boys need strong male role models. Yes, the ease with which boys can disappear into online worlds is hugely disturbing. However, I would strongly dispute the idea that fathers don’t love their sons unconditionally, and statements like the one about female teachers only modelling female traits and strengths. Not to list all the other grating generalisations.
Loved the first articles, for more on boys and men you’d be better reading the work of Australian psychologist Steve Biddulph and his books ‘Manhood’ and ‘Raising Boys’.