Personal Journal Entry: Friday, October 10.
I flew home yesterday afternoon after being gone for eight days. I landed seven hours earlier than planned, but twenty-four hours late.
Last weekend, I attended, presented, and enjoyed the first-ever SimpleREV conference in Minneapolis, MN. I was excited to meet Patrick Rhone. I was challenged by Brooks Duncan, impressed by David Delp, and an instant fan of Chris and Sarah Wehkamp.
All credit to Joel Zaslofsky and Daniel Hayes for dreaming, organizing, and putting on the event. I hope there are more.
Following the conference, I attended a friend’s wedding in Duluth, MN. I love weddings and it was great to see some old friends.
On Sunday afternoon, I drove by myself to a friend’s cabin in the woods. I am working on a new book. And four days of distraction-free writing seemed like the perfect environment to get started on it.
But three days into my stay, I called my wife and told her I wanted to come home. The next morning, I called the airline to arrange an earlier flight. I landed seven hours earlier than planned, but twenty-four hours late.
I learned a lot about myself this week:
I love being alone. But I most enjoy being with people I love. The week was an experiment in extremes: the energy of SimpleREV, the significance of a wedding, followed immediately by the solitude of a cabin in the woods. I loved being alone… for about two days. After that, I couldn’t wait to get home. The solitude was good. But getting home was even better.
I write best in limited quantities. While at the cabin I received a text from a friend that said, “I used to write at a cabin in Tahoe. I’d write for six hours, go for a run, and then write some more.” It became quickly apparent this would not be my experience. I write best in short spurts of 60-90 minutes followed by anything else. I need the distraction. This proves to be the best formula for me at home and alone in the wilderness.
I rely heavily on the Internet for progress. My cabin did not have Internet access. I was okay with that going in. In fact, the owner’s graciously offered to get it for me, but I declined. I wanted the environment to be distraction-free. That was probably a mistake. While it was marginally helpful to have the temptation eliminated, so many of my thoughts have been articulated online, I found myself often wanting to go find them. My inability to access information quickly became the distraction.
I am motivated by deadlines and the presence of others. On Tuesday afternoon, I drove to a local coffee shop. I needed the Internet to send out a newsletter and I wanted the change in environment. My two hours at the Chattering Squirrel Cafe turned out to be two of my most productive. Certainly this was, in part, due to a looming deadline. But additionally, I found myself uniquely pushed by the simple presence of others. I found motivation in their motivation.
My life is more than minimalism. I am passionate about what I write. I believe the message of owning less has power to change and improve the lives of all who hear it. The book is a long way from being complete and I am excited about the possibilities already. But I was reminded this week that I am more than minimalism. It guides my life but does not define it.
Experiments help us grow. In his book, Enough, Patrick Rhone writes about the value of experimentation and listening to our internal compass: Enough is a very personal metric. Like our center of gravity, each of us must find what is enough by swaying from less to more until a comfortable medium is found. I learned a lot about myself this past week. I learned things that never would have been discovered without the days alone.
I was richly blessed over the past eight days meeting new friends, reconnecting with old ones, and finding space to begin the writing process—even if I accomplished less than I had hoped.
But that’s okay with me. The most important lessons we learn are the lessons we learn about ourselves.
About Joshua Becker
One of the things I promised myself I would do before I leave Asia is to spend a week in silence at one of the numerous monasteries around here. Honesty the thought scares me a bit. This is motivating and hopefully I will learn much if I try.
Thanks for this, Josh. I recently started being intentional in learning about myself. I never realized how powerful it is and your story here is inspiration to really dive deep within myself. Thank you!
I’ve learned that more than most people, I like being alone. I’ve always been happy with my own company and I do enjoy solitude. However, I have obligations and people that I love. I am blessed, for sure. So I push myself to socialize…to keep those bonds strong…and to keep from becoming introverted.
Hey Joshua!
I couldn’t agree more. I just learned a lot about myself recently when I conducted a NO TV experiment on my three year old. (Documented it on pursuingmommygreatness.com) Learned WAY MORE ABOUT MYSELF than about her. So much powerful truth comes from lessons we learn from ourselves. I think so often we don’t take the time to notice, document, and learn from ourselves though. It’s hard work. And it’s easy to just let these powerful lessons be forgotten. Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement! Love reading your stuff!
Really great post. I feel better about myself. I often want alone time to write, and when I get it, my mind doesn’t seem to process as well. In the midst of the chaos and under pressure I have more motivation.
I love the idea that, “Enough is a very personal metric.” I’m glad you listened to your own voice and found your own way, Joshua. I think my experience of the same situation would have been very different because we are all very different. Learning about ourselves, knowing ourselves is one of the most important steps we can take toward more happiness and freedom.
I recently read an article in which a famous singer/songwriter with children was explaining her song writing approach pre and post children. In it she explained how before kids she thought song writing was something you did alone in the right setting. Post kids, she does not have the luxury of quiet/alone time so she goes with the flow when the creative energy is there and writes with kids doing their thing all around her. It got me thinking that yes I do seem to have the mindset that I ‘need’ the ‘right’ environment/setting to paint (my passion). Which has meant that I have not painted in 3 years as we have had a child and also my painting area is not quite right anymore. I think the real challenge is to do what this singer has done and to accept things as they are and not let them stop me from doing the things I love. I still have not yet picked up a brush even though I really want to…
More than minimalism, great thought, as all were. The last time I took off for a retreat alone, I came home early also. That was unusual for me, but after a couple days, I felt I’d done all I could do. Needed that relationship.
Thanks again.
I truly loved reading this piece. You put it best, sometimes the lessons we learn aren’t taught by others, it’s what we come across ourselves, as self-discovery.
Congratulations Joshua.
Joshua,
What wonderful sentiments. I have learned that in quiet moments of solitude, I can most clearly hear what my soul is trying to tell me. I can then most easily discern what truly brings me peace and tranquility. I am much like you in that I love time alone, but only for a short while. Then, I long to be with my husband and children. I also seem to be at my most productive and creative with short intervals of solitude, no distractions, and completely tidy and minimal surroundings. Then I have to let loose and go for a run or dance around to great music! Thank you for all of your inspiring posts.
Tracey
Joshua, thanks for sharing. great post. i like my alone time too, but i thrive with people. the forest is refreshing and it’s good to get away some times. i liked your realizations about how you write, and how you operate best. i’m glad you didn’t focus on the frustration, but just quickly moved forward, er, home. i’m learning to love what’s good for me. thanks, joe!
Joshua, I enjoyed seeing you again at SimpleREV, and truly appreciated our brief conversation…as I think you know, it got me seriously thinking about my own writing plans (i.e., speeding them up).
Funny how sometimes the things we think will help most–an isolated cabin, peace and quiet–end up being the very things
that distract us! But as you say, it’s all grist for the mill . . . especially if, as you say, we use it as a chance to learn more about ourselves.
Glad you’re home safe and where you can now be productive in your more usual sense–we need your writing! :o)
Thanks for the time you dedicated to SimpleREV Joshua! It was inspiring to hear you speak and interact with you.
I speak for both of us when I say that the pleasure was most definitely ours. Thank you for the shout-out in your post today.
We can’t wait for our paths to cross again, both virtually and otherwise.
Great post Joshua!
A few points really resonated.
I also write and work best in short burst (sprints) and then periods of distraction. It took me too many years to realise this and then not fight it.
The point about minimalism not defining you also hit home. As so much of my writing sits in the simplicity frame I have been guilty of forgetting it’s (simplicity) just a tool in helping me live a better life, not the end in itself.
Great stuff!
There are so many times when I think that I would just love to get away from it all to work on whatever project is at hand, but I always forget how deadline-driven I am, too.
I like the concept of learning about oneself as being most important. We only have the power and permission to change ourselves long before we can make changes elsewhere.
I couldn’t agree more! I write a lot about finding ways to simplify your life. I have found that simple is defined in many ways and it all begins with your mindset. What you think you need (four days in a cabin) is often clouded by what it takes to be productive (two hours in a coffee shop.) I loved your post and have found myself in your shoes many a time.
We are all more than , Joshua. Actually, I’ve yet to find a singular word that defines the entirety of any person.
But I can say with 100% confidence that you are many wonderful things to many, many people. I started reading Becoming Minimalist five years ago and I’ve seen your tremendous growth as a writer and person. And thanks in large part to reading every word you write, I’ve experienced tremendous growth in a number of areas too. My gratitude, contentment, and “intentional” levels prove that to me every day.
You mentioned the energy that we experienced together at SimpleREV 2014 this past weekend, and … yeah. It was definitely something to behold! One of your gifts is adding your flame to smoldering embers and stoking the fire enough for everyone to be warmed. You are both a co-pilot and stoker, roles that folks like David Delp can appreciate.
Thank you for sharing this honest, open learning experience….it truly resonates with me and I have re-read it again already! I have been following your site and am inspired daily….but the true challenge is in the doing and there I am just beginning in baby steps. This post is an ” aha” moment for me about getting honest with myself and committing to myself to learn about me! Thank you for all you are sharing…it is life changing and extremely important work.
I really loved this post! Sometimes I think that people associate minimalism with living by yourself in a tiny house in the woods. I love minimalism because it has allowed me to simplify my life so I have more time to spend with my family! Being alone can be helpful at times but more often than not, I prefer to be surrounded by people. People motivate and inspire me too. Thanks for this reminder!
I love that – I am learning more and more about myself this past year, as I came back from a long bout of travelling, and am settling back into a 9-5 routine. The change itself spurred a lot of introspection and learning about what I like, and where I wish my life to go in the next few years. The more I learn about myself, the more surprised I am. Sometimes, the deepest parts of me are so hidden, that when they surface, it throws me for a loop.
Sorry to hear your time in the cabin wasn’t the idyllic place to churn out a book like you had anticipated, but I suppose that is refreshing to realize that you write your best stuff (and are your best self) when surrounded by others. Enjoy being home, I know we’re happy to be back with loved ones, too! :-)
Joshua,
Your post resonated with me. Just got back from a two-week cross country solo motorcycle trip. I enjoyed the time by myself and my thoughts. After a while, that becomes old. Interacting with the rest of the world is important as well. Need to strike a balance between the two. I enjoy reading your entries.
Scott
“But I was reminded this week that I am more than minimalism. It guides my life but does not define it.”
It’s so refreshing to hear you say this, Joshua. Earlier this week I had an exchange on Twitter with Erin Lauray and Courtney Carver about this very thing. Good stuff.