“Use for yourself little, but give to others much.” —Albert Einstein
When I was in middle school, I flew with my brother and sister to visit extended family. I placed a backpack full of my stuff in an overhead bin and buckled up. My favorite cassettes at the time were inside, my favorite Minnesota Gopher t-shirt, my favorite sweatshirt, and a book.
After arriving and walking through most of the airport, I noticed a lightness on my back. I had walked off the plane without my bag. Despite spinning around and running back to the gate, the plane and stuff were nowhere to be found.
I was a bit too forgetful as a child (heck, I’m a bit too forgetful as an adult). I forgot my fair share of packed lunches, homework assignments, and textbooks back at the house.
But this moment felt a little bit different.
Those possessions in that backpack felt like everything to me at the time. I was devastated, and everyone around me—especially my brother and sister—could feel the disappointment.
My guess is that feeling is relatable to almost everyone. At some point in our lives, we all misplace or forget something important.
How we react to that loss is another thing. Despite being inevitable, most of us are surprised when it happens—humbled by an emptiness for something… missing.
When I first discovered minimalism and began clearing out my garage many years ago, fear gripped me. And I’ve heard the same from others. Each item I removed felt like a little, voluntary loss. Sometimes I gripped an item for a while, pondering, “What if I need this in the future?”
The “what if” mindset slowed me down. As if the George Foreman grill would one day come back to haunt me and say, “Told you so!”
Despite the discomfort, I learned to let go of my unneeded material possessions—repeatedly. Sure, some things were harder than others, and some things took longer than others. But slowly, by persisting and not giving up, I began to see how loss ultimately leads to gain.
Here are Five Lessons I Learned Intentionally Letting Go:
1. Everything is fleeting.
The passage of time shifts and modifies our perspective on loss. Fortunately, I’m not still reeling over the loss of my backpack as a student. While losses might be painful initially, it’s a fleeting sensation. Trust in this process and understanding.
If you’ve been hesitating to throw something away you’ve never used “just in case” you might need it someday, embrace the loss, let it go, and see how you feel a few months later. My guess is you won’t miss any of it once it’s gone.
2. Lighter is better.
Stuff can be burdensome—weighing us down. It’s not just the physical heft of objects, but it’s the time we take out of our lives to maintain, prop up, and care for what we own. To let go is to provide yourself the opportunity to feel the lightness from having less responsibility for material goods. Today’s losses are tomorrow’s freedom.
3. You can break the chain of materialism, intentionally.
There comes a point where we must question whether materialism allows us to live the life we’d like to lead. By choosing to let go, we push against the societal norms and messages that say we must consume more to be happy.
Something changed in me years ago, and by tossing extraneous goods out, I placed a stamp of commitment to become minimalist. This was the first radical step to more with less, but I needed to persist through the doubts, fears, and losses.
4. You define what’s important.
If the stuff we own doesn’t define us anymore, what does? Well, that’s for you decide. For me, “loss” allowed me to focus on my family, friends, and my larger community. It empowered me to start The Hope Effect, Simplify Magazine, Uncluttered, and connect with an entire network of simple living advocates around the world. We must question what today’s potential feelings of loss might be stopping us from becoming, doing, and supporting.
5. Losses can be reframed.
To eschew the materialist messages of our society, consume less, declutter more, and become a minimalist might involve loss. It’s a potent, powerful feeling that can prevent us from acting up and changing our ways. Inversely, we could actually move away from the very concept of loss altogether, see the act of letting go as giving back and making time for more of what matters most. In that light, loss becomes a positive force for good. Minimalism isn’t about the things you remove from your life—it’s about freeing up your life to add back in the things that are truly important.
These lessons have affected me—even today.
On a recent flight home, I got up to use the bathroom and briefly left my laptop in the backseat pocket. I didn’t think much of it. But when I returned to the seat, the person seated next to me leaned over and said, “Be careful where you leave that. Someone might take it.”
I thought about the statement for a moment and kindly thanked her. But in the back of my mind I was thinking, “I’d be okay—even without it. Besides, if someone’s going to risk stealing a laptop on an airplane, they probably need it more than me.”
Minimalism hasn’t made me flippant about stuff; rather, it’s helped me focus on what matters most. As my attachment to material possessions lessens, I am able to develop a greater appreciation for those things that could never be replaced.
Linda says
We don’t have a large house (1,150 SQ ft) and we’re working on downsizing. However, I have this addiction to school supplies and we no longer have a child at home. I don’t need more pencils, pens, lined notebook paper or 3-ring notebooks, so why on earth when I see these items on sale do I fill my basket with them and take them home and put them in a drawer? It’s really the only thing I hoard. What can I do to stop this addiction??
Sunshine says
Hi Linda, School and office or art supplies are fun for me to! I have children in school, but still found we had an excess. I filled packets for several families with lots of children, and they were SO happy! We have participated in programs each year that fill and donate back packs to children for school. Perhaps you can do that. Just ask your local schools or teachers what they need. They will thank you! If you still want to keep supplies for yourself, keep a few of your absolute favorites…the ones you know you’ll use up over the year and know you can get new fun ones next year. Share the rest and you won’t waste those supplies! :) You may find one really nice refillable pencil/pen and a pack of refill lead/ink is more luxurious than a whole pack of disposables. It’s helped me, and I’m happy to be able to actually find the ones we need.
Diane says
Keep purchasing if you must, and immediately donate them to local teachers, schools, and children in the communities that have very little.
Gloria says
I think someone else may have suggested as well… enjoy the fun of getting them to donate to local schools, charter schools etc. most have programs for this you can call and ask them.
Sharom says
I’ve done lots of decluttering over 5 years. The other day I found a stinky old cardboard box full of old Xmas decorations in our basement that hasn’t been touched in years. I was like – are you kidding me?? I thought I had dealt with most of the old crap lying around. Each trip of donations I make, the lighter I feel. And I swear the air quality in our house has improved with the old stuff gone. Who wants to breathe all that in daily? Yuck. At one point I actually found 2 urns that belonged to my mother in law who had owned the house previously and forgotten about them!!
littleblackdomicile says
The one thing about learning to love having less is that the items that make the cut are treated with respect and lovingly cared for. Recently the airline “misplaced” my luggage for 7 of an 8 day trip. I was able to quickly replace what was in the bag thanks to the tools learned with living with less. However, I suffered a few days of mourning thinking the beloved items were indeed gone forever. When they arrived back it I was able to pass on some of the new items to others and retain the ones dear to me. A win win and lesson all at once!-Laurel
Priscilla says
I’ve found that it’s easier to keep track of things I’ve decided to keep. Like, if I had 20 widgets, I couldn’t name where each of them is. But if I have 2 widgets, it’s easy to know exactly where I keep them. Good post, thanks.
Sandy says
Having less is undoubtedly a great idea to deduce time for family and relatives.
John says
George Clooney’s character in the movie “Up in the Air” gives a speech titled “How Heavy Is Your Backpack?” He talks about all the stuff we put in our backpacks, weighing us down. Then he says, imagine emptying the backpack and filling it up with people, instead. I’d add, experiences, too. Life is moving. Life is loved ones. Great post today, Joshua. Here’s a link to the Clooney scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsRP9EUrXjo
Kathy Winstead says
Joshua, thank you so much for your continued inspiration! Following a divorce I have spent the last 5 years downsizing. First I lived in a 2000 sq. ft. house, then downsized to a 1200 sq. ft. 2-bedroom apartment, then to a 782 sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment and now to a 612 sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment. I was able to pack all of my belongings in to 12 cardboard boxes, and even then as I unpack I’m sure I will find things I don’t need to keep. It feels so good to lighten my load!
Ruth Chapman says
hi.ive been a mimimalist from a very early age .im 65.i think it started because i was the youngest of 4 children and would always have things taken away from me hence i grew up to have the mindset” if I dont own much then little can be taken away from me”.that mindset has stuck i love reading any articles on Minimalism.well done Joshua! Thanks
Noah says
It so amazing reading your blog. I have just started my minimalist lifestyle and the result so far is amazing. Thank you and keep motivating us. God bless you!
Regards Noah
Mik says
When I get rid of something unneeded I have this utopian feeling…..if only for a moment !