“Use for yourself little, but give to others much.” —Albert Einstein
When I was in middle school, I flew with my brother and sister to visit extended family. I placed a backpack full of my stuff in an overhead bin and buckled up. My favorite cassettes at the time were inside, my favorite Minnesota Gopher t-shirt, my favorite sweatshirt, and a book.
After arriving and walking through most of the airport, I noticed a lightness on my back. I had walked off the plane without my bag. Despite spinning around and running back to the gate, the plane and stuff were nowhere to be found.
I was a bit too forgetful as a child (heck, I’m a bit too forgetful as an adult). I forgot my fair share of packed lunches, homework assignments, and textbooks back at the house.
But this moment felt a little bit different.
Those possessions in that backpack felt like everything to me at the time. I was devastated, and everyone around me—especially my brother and sister—could feel the disappointment.
My guess is that feeling is relatable to almost everyone. At some point in our lives, we all misplace or forget something important.
How we react to that loss is another thing. Despite being inevitable, most of us are surprised when it happens—humbled by an emptiness for something… missing.
When I first discovered minimalism and began clearing out my garage many years ago, fear gripped me. And I’ve heard the same from others. Each item I removed felt like a little, voluntary loss. Sometimes I gripped an item for a while, pondering, “What if I need this in the future?”
The “what if” mindset slowed me down. As if the George Foreman grill would one day come back to haunt me and say, “Told you so!”
Despite the discomfort, I learned to let go of my unneeded material possessions—repeatedly. Sure, some things were harder than others, and some things took longer than others. But slowly, by persisting and not giving up, I began to see how loss ultimately leads to gain.
Here are Five Lessons I Learned Intentionally Letting Go:
1. Everything is fleeting.
The passage of time shifts and modifies our perspective on loss. Fortunately, I’m not still reeling over the loss of my backpack as a student. While losses might be painful initially, it’s a fleeting sensation. Trust in this process and understanding.
If you’ve been hesitating to throw something away you’ve never used “just in case” you might need it someday, embrace the loss, let it go, and see how you feel a few months later. My guess is you won’t miss any of it once it’s gone.
2. Lighter is better.
Stuff can be burdensome—weighing us down. It’s not just the physical heft of objects, but it’s the time we take out of our lives to maintain, prop up, and care for what we own. To let go is to provide yourself the opportunity to feel the lightness from having less responsibility for material goods. Today’s losses are tomorrow’s freedom.
3. You can break the chain of materialism, intentionally.
There comes a point where we must question whether materialism allows us to live the life we’d like to lead. By choosing to let go, we push against the societal norms and messages that say we must consume more to be happy.
Something changed in me years ago, and by tossing extraneous goods out, I placed a stamp of commitment to become minimalist. This was the first radical step to more with less, but I needed to persist through the doubts, fears, and losses.
4. You define what’s important.
If the stuff we own doesn’t define us anymore, what does? Well, that’s for you decide. For me, “loss” allowed me to focus on my family, friends, and my larger community. It empowered me to start The Hope Effect, Simplify Magazine, Uncluttered, and connect with an entire network of simple living advocates around the world. We must question what today’s potential feelings of loss might be stopping us from becoming, doing, and supporting.
5. Losses can be reframed.
To eschew the materialist messages of our society, consume less, declutter more, and become a minimalist might involve loss. It’s a potent, powerful feeling that can prevent us from acting up and changing our ways. Inversely, we could actually move away from the very concept of loss altogether, see the act of letting go as giving back and making time for more of what matters most. In that light, loss becomes a positive force for good. Minimalism isn’t about the things you remove from your life—it’s about freeing up your life to add back in the things that are truly important.
These lessons have affected me—even today.
On a recent flight home, I got up to use the bathroom and briefly left my laptop in the backseat pocket. I didn’t think much of it. But when I returned to the seat, the person seated next to me leaned over and said, “Be careful where you leave that. Someone might take it.”
I thought about the statement for a moment and kindly thanked her. But in the back of my mind I was thinking, “I’d be okay—even without it. Besides, if someone’s going to risk stealing a laptop on an airplane, they probably need it more than me.”
Minimalism hasn’t made me flippant about stuff; rather, it’s helped me focus on what matters most. As my attachment to material possessions lessens, I am able to develop a greater appreciation for those things that could never be replaced.
Leslie Anne Perry says
Since I have been decluttering on a regular basis for many, many years, I thought there wouldn’t be anything left that I needed to get rid of. But, after reading some of your articles, I thought it would be a good idea to go through everything in the house one more time. Not only did I find things that I took to a thrift shop (and to the dump), some of the rearranging I did with items I kept has made the items I use more frequently much easier to get to. So THANK YOU for inspiring me! P.S. I’m leaving the garage until warmer weather.
mildred says
I have read this article more than once. Every time I read, the lessons become clearer, and there is always a new perspective to consider and lessons to learn from.
I can relate to the experience. Just today, I decluttered a section of my cabinet. I was asking myself the “what if I will need this? Letting go of stuff is a “risk” of letting go of a fleeting side of myself I thought to be important. I was able to let go 3 bags full of knick-knacks. Seeing my things useful with other people made me realize that I don’t need those things after all.
Linda says
I came home from work one night at midnight. My home was engulfed in flames. Nothing left. I mourned my losses for a few months while living in a camper. The worst losses were the things my dad had made for me. My aunt reminded me- I lostthe “things” he made, but not the man who made them. After a few months, I remember thinking about a song I had heard all my life…and the lyrics that hit home and rang true:
“Freedom’ just another word for nothing left to lose..”
Jane says
Inspiring story of minimalism ?
catherine says
Great article.
Last spring we let go of literally 2 tons of stuff acquired over 3 decades to enable us to leave our 2100 sq.ft. home and move into a 700 sq.ft. one. The process was painful, but I haven’t missed a thing. We have just what we need, no more. There is so much freedom in that.
I also loved the part in the article about the response to the passenger who was concerned about the laptop. I have joined the “so what” club when it comes to (most of) the material things that might disappear from me at any given time.
When people express concern over the fact that I don’t lock my doors, I think of the line from Porgy and Bess–“I got no lock on the door, that’s ok by me. They can steal the rug from the floor, that’s OK by me, cuz the things that I prize like the stars in the skies all are free!”
Austin Thompson says
When my wife and I moved into a tiny house, it was hard to figure out what we would need and what we could give away. I was afraid to get rid of something only to find out later that I should have kept it. Well, two years later I do not miss a single thing from the boxes and boxes of junk we gave away. The fears we had of letting go were completely unwarranted.
Judy Johnson says
and what was there that couldn’t be easily replaced? So many of the things that we hang on to for “might need it later” are incredibly cheap. And if we keep too much, we often can’t find what we are looking for
Eddie says
That’s very amazing article. I am very happy to read it. You are a great writer and give us much information
Eileen Claussen says
Since my husband passed away in 2010, I have “downsized” three different times as I sold our “big” house, moved to a smaller house and now into a townhome. Got rid of so much STUFF but in the past year, I find myself not accumulating as much but not getting rid of stuff either. Your blog has been a God send as I now see my office space has become cluttered again, my closet is full again and I have things in my home that I don’t love – just taking up space. . . time to start over and try to once again live with the minimalist mentality.
Adriana @MoneyJourney says
We did a lot of letting go over the years, but there are certain things I still insist we keep: the ones that mean something.
Even if we don’t really use them anymore, if they were a gift from people who matter, we’re not throwing them away anytime soon.
As far as the rest of the stuff goes, good riddance. Except my laptop, all my work is on it! :D
Edwin | Cash The Checks says
The process of moving made me see just how much stuff was accumulated. I was going to get storage space but realized that I’d miss nothing if I lost all that junk. I ended up giving away or selling most of it and haven’t regretted it.