I was once told by a mentor, “Each of us are living in the midst of a trial, have just emerged from one, or are heading toward another.”
It is phrasing similar to another oft-quoted truth, “Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battle they are fighting.”
There is truth in this statement. But it is particularly enhanced during the holiday season when loss, of every kind, is magnified.
So be kind to one another out there.
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But I want to approach this conversation from a slightly different angle. With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Just consider all the things that weigh down our hearts and lives: death, loss, illness, worry, politics, financial hardships, grief, guilt, marital tension, traumatic events. Each a weight that we carry on our shoulders.
Many of these burdens are inevitable and entirely outside our realm of control. Regardless of their origin, we carry them—each of us, on a daily basis.
No wonder, in a recent survey when children were asked, “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” The kids’ number one wish was that their parents were less tired and less stressed.
Life is not easy. It never has been and was never promised to be. And in our new society defined by instantaneous social sharing, not only do we carry the weight of our own trials, we also carry the weight of others.
A friend of mine, on the other side of the country, was rushed to a hospital Thanksgiving evening. Through text and social media, I was alerted to it almost instantly. A tragedy, on the other side of the country, involving a family not my own. And yet, a sadness… a weight… was felt in our home.
Life is hard. Why would we ever choose to make it more difficult?
But it seems to me that many of us choose to do that very thing simply by carrying excess possessions in our homes and lives.
Perhaps Randy Alcorn said it best, “Every increased possession adds increased anxiety onto our lives.”
Excess possessions take up residence in our homes and in our minds. They require care, maintenance, and attention. Every item we own must be handled and at some point, discarded—whether by ourselves or by a loved one. They add obligation, responsibility, weight.
Clutter is a contributing factor to the level of stress in our lives. For example, 1) Researchers at UCLA discovered a link between high levels of stress hormones and a high density of household objects; 2) Princeton scientists discovered that a cluttered environment limits our ability to focus; and 3) Psychology Today reinforced these studies back in March 2012, citing eight specific reasons how clutter contributes to higher levels of stress in our bodies.
With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Unburden your life in the areas you can control. In so doing, you will find more freedom and capacity to navigate the trials and burdens that are outside of it.
Leen says
In october, after a break-up with my boyfriend, I left our apartment to travel with my van. Instead of trying to sell my things, I just gave everything away. It was strange at first but…what a feeling of well-being, knowing that my stuff will be used by people who need it!
I still have 7 boxes left at a friend’s house. But there will be a second phase of decluttering as soon as I get back…
In May, I’ll be moving from my 3sq meter van to a 9sq meter Tiny house…12 sq meters in total: A palace !
Happy 2018 to you all.
holly hansen says
am in a wondeful on line class declutter and simplify your life with kathy peterman, portland oregon. it has been such a source of inspiration and accountability. to purge my stuff with the support of a online community. getting rid of the clutter helps me see the clothes and belongings i really love better. and its so much fun giving things away, brings joy. i still have a long way to go decluttering my clothes and paperwork. the changes i have made are bringing me great joy and reducing stress. this is a powerful movement. its freeing up so many possesions that can be moved on to others who might really need them.its a win win situation.
Sashamonique says
Great post! I have been trying to minimize my existence and it is working in some areas of my life but I am a clothes horse but I have decided to use the clothes that I have and I am not bringing a lot more clothing in until my clothes start to fade, out of style or in disrepair.
I still have a lot of clothes but I am saving money because I am not making any big clothing purchases.
Jordan says
Very insightful post. I just cleared out my small storage room the other day and have never been so stressed dealing with all of this stuff I have collected over the years. It hasn’t been much but it doesn’t seem to stress me out any less. I feel better when I have removed items from my life, but I also get stressed out when it feels like I am throwing out memories. It’s hard to see down the road how much better I will feel, but I know I will, so I press on.
Thomas says
A very good article that fuels inspiration to let go physical burdens.
Doing so for more than past five years, I recognise the good feelings coming with a clear space and fewer possessions. A dislike for making purchases except neccessities emerged also and I am very thankful for that.
Sandy says
This is an amazing thought. Everyone has their own set of problems it better to be kind to everyone.
Judy says
So very true, Joshua. It seems that much of life is out of our control. You have inspired me to do better and clear out the clutter.
Thank you :)
Donna Vaughn says
We just downsized to a house one half the size we had been living in. Now we have a very large yard for our grandchildren who are close by, and our dogs and gardens! We decided to give many family heirlooms to our children for Christmas instead of waiting until we pass on, so they can know more of our family history as well as enjoying the items now. Very freeing!
Daniela says
The only twist to this for anyone is to make certain your family wants your treasures. Be prepared to let things leave the family. I want nothing from my parents or in laws. It is causing tension as they both are downsizing and are hurt when we say no. Others don’t want your clutter often even if it is considered special. Sometimes yes but best to really check and make sure they know you are happy to donate elsewhere there is no pressure
msmidlife says
Such a great post, thank you. We have been letting go of things, commitments, and even people over the last two years. This year alone we are on track to eliminate about 10,000 things from our home. This is thanks to your Uncluttered course, and a wonderful group of people I have connected with through your fb page. So much of what I have let go of this year has had sentimental feelings, or self-imposed ideas of responsibility attached. From items that came from my mother’s home after she passed, to years of old letters, journals and other memorabilia, all of them were literally hanging over my head everyday, as they were in a closet in my room that was right about the kitchen, where I spend most of my days. One day I let go of years of letters from an old friend who I had to purge from my life last year. I had no idea the letters were in that closet. But the day I ripped them up, and sent them to the burn pile, a huge weight lifted from my heart. What a wonderful thing you have given to the world Joshua, thank you.
Elyse says
Seven years ago we moved from a relatively modest sized house to an even more modest sized condo. What a relief to not worry about landscaping, fall raking, shoveling snow. replacing the roof and the driveway. I pay for these items through condo fees but it is far less than if I had continued on the homeowner path. This spring we are giving away even more responsibilities since we no longer need the A+ school district in our area. We’re moving closer to the city, giving up one car and leaving ALL maintenance to a landlord. There are so many financial, physical and emotional costs to home ownership that are glossed over. We will be living in a small 2 BR apartment but our commutes will be far shorter and we can walk to everything needed in our daily lives, including many of our friends!
Judy Johnson says
It seems that not many people realize what a burden a car can be. I am in the position now that I only have to work part-time and it’s just so nice to hop on the bus. It encourages me to walk more as well. Sure, my world has shrunk a bit, but it’s worth it. Two years and still no big regrets