I was once told by a mentor, “Each of us are living in the midst of a trial, have just emerged from one, or are heading toward another.”
It is phrasing similar to another oft-quoted truth, “Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battle they are fighting.”
There is truth in this statement. But it is particularly enhanced during the holiday season when loss, of every kind, is magnified.
So be kind to one another out there.
—
But I want to approach this conversation from a slightly different angle. With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Just consider all the things that weigh down our hearts and lives: death, loss, illness, worry, politics, financial hardships, grief, guilt, marital tension, traumatic events. Each a weight that we carry on our shoulders.
Many of these burdens are inevitable and entirely outside our realm of control. Regardless of their origin, we carry them—each of us, on a daily basis.
No wonder, in a recent survey when children were asked, “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” The kids’ number one wish was that their parents were less tired and less stressed.
Life is not easy. It never has been and was never promised to be. And in our new society defined by instantaneous social sharing, not only do we carry the weight of our own trials, we also carry the weight of others.
A friend of mine, on the other side of the country, was rushed to a hospital Thanksgiving evening. Through text and social media, I was alerted to it almost instantly. A tragedy, on the other side of the country, involving a family not my own. And yet, a sadness… a weight… was felt in our home.
Life is hard. Why would we ever choose to make it more difficult?
But it seems to me that many of us choose to do that very thing simply by carrying excess possessions in our homes and lives.
Perhaps Randy Alcorn said it best, “Every increased possession adds increased anxiety onto our lives.”
Excess possessions take up residence in our homes and in our minds. They require care, maintenance, and attention. Every item we own must be handled and at some point, discarded—whether by ourselves or by a loved one. They add obligation, responsibility, weight.
Clutter is a contributing factor to the level of stress in our lives. For example, 1) Researchers at UCLA discovered a link between high levels of stress hormones and a high density of household objects; 2) Princeton scientists discovered that a cluttered environment limits our ability to focus; and 3) Psychology Today reinforced these studies back in March 2012, citing eight specific reasons how clutter contributes to higher levels of stress in our bodies.
With all the weight and burden that each of us already carry in life, why would we ever choose to intentionally carry more?
Unburden your life in the areas you can control. In so doing, you will find more freedom and capacity to navigate the trials and burdens that are outside of it.
Valerie says
Baggage and responsibility includes the home the possessions are in. Paying for more space than we need or struggling by living in a high cost of living area are a bedrock of stress in our society.
Hannah says
We have decluttered over the last 2 years and it has had an amazing impact on our lives. I think one of the things that’s really important for me, and my own health is stepping back from technology and notifications, so I have the time to concentrate on whats important, without distractions. Because all these constant notifications and alerts distract us, and we lose valuable time to things that aren’t really important, but without realising it.
Pat says
I couldn’t agree more. I have been working on minimalizing over the past year. This weekend I cleaned out my email account and created folders/labels for storing the messages I need to retain for now. It was so freeing. Thank you for sharing.
Carol Steele says
I’m glad I stumbled on this blog. When my second child went off to college, I downsized to a 1200 SF house and purged many belongings. Then remarried someone with two kids. It gets cozy sometimes – especially since there’s only one bathroom! I’ve been drawn to minimalism for years but bumped up against two problems: 1) I can’t entirely control what others in the household have and 2) am not really willing to give up things I’ve brought home from travels or wear the same outfit to work every day. This middle path form of minimalism is within my reach and was just what I was looking for. I’m re-starting today looking for ways to pare down without feeling pressured to end up in a starkly empty home. Thanks!
Lynn says
Many misunderstand the concept of minimilism thinking it means living in an emty house. Please just Google the word declutter. It would apply to each of us differently depending on our prioritis and needs. We are a nation that pays to store items beyond even our homes and garages. If a person feels no stress and is content then they are good but many do feel the stress of an overload of items and boxes. Even children become overwhelmed when their rooms are flooded with possessions. They loose apprection for many items. Sounfs like you are working on changes that work for you which is all that decluttering does. Just shsring.
Lynn says
Sorry for texting errors.
Carol Steele says
No worries. I’m actually very good at decluttering, and purge fairly frequently. I don’t like storing away anything except Christmas decorations. My next step is a buying freeze.
Austin says
I really appreciate your comment on the weight of instantaneous sharing. I am thankful for technology when it allows me to celebrate or mourn with a loved one. But, there is a burden to always having to be connected. Turning off notifications and using Do Not Disturb mode on my phone has done wonders for lightening my daily load and helping me focus.
Any says
Great article which has inspired me!
Thank you!!!
Phil says
Great article. Perhaps we would be more prone to not only carry the burdens of others, but actually have the time to proactively help them in tangible ways, if our lives were less cluttered. Keep up the good work, Joshua!
Mary Ann says
An interesting thought – thanks for posting that, Phil.
Randall says
Thank you for this. The holidays, both recent and coming soon, are a time for reflection. Memories of loved ones, present and lost, can be difficult. Last night, my wife woke me at 4 am. Our puppy wanted “out”, and she was greeted by a clear, moonless sky “full of stars”…so profoundly simple…I remembered my Dad, and the telescope he got me for Christmas when I was 9. The card read “Your dreams are in the stars…here’s some help to chase ’em”.
Upon returning to bed, I vowed to “make room for dreams again” by ridding our life of clutter.
T.R. says
Randall, very inspirational thoughts!
Suzie says
Thank you Joshua for this
article. Growing up in an
environment of extreme
clutter, I know firsthand
the stress it places on the
people living in the environment. Clutter robs you of the beautiful experiences in life,
the truly important things. It is a thief that steals the
goodness of life and leaves
you with the mess of shame,
hurt, anguish, anxiety and
embarrassment.
Liz says
This has been a great reminder of how we all should live and free ourselves of stuff that holds us down. I have already eliminated most of my clothing about two thirds and left with one third so freeing with God’s help we can do all things to make him our focus.
Sharon Kelly says
I appreciate your sentiments, but may I make a plea for correct grammar? “Each of us” is singular, not plural. For some of us, “petty” things like this tend to get in the way of the message.
Valerie says
Don’t let it get in the way.
Kate says
Thank you, Sharon Kelly. For me, a first grammatical error gets a pass. But when the same type of error happens more than once, as it did here, such mistakes can get in the way of the message. Not trying to be critical, but having a second pair of eyes to proofread is always a good thing.
Mary Ann says
I noticed that too…. but really, life is MUCH to short to waste time fretting about grammar in an on-line article — ESPECIALLY when the article is such a good one!
So yes, as Valerie says: Don’t let it get in the way.