Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Sarah Peck.
“We live in a world of scarcity. Which means we feel like we never have enough.” – Brené Brown
Living in a world of scarcity means that we’re constantly searching for the next thing to fill us up, the next destination or achievement to make us whole. Our world is filled with messages that tell us we don’t have enough space, enough stuff, enough clothes, enough fitness. We’re never skinny enough or pretty enough or good enough or rich enough.
This scarcity model drives consumption and accumulation; it spurs us to want more, to buy things because we think it will fill the void. We press to work harder, to get fitter, to buy more clothes, to acquire more things in the name of filling the hole.
The problem with scarcity, however, is that you can’t fill it or fix it with things.
The answer to scarcity, ironically, isn’t more. It is enough.
What you have is enough. Who you are is enough. As Danielle LaPorte says in her Fire Starter Sessions: “You already have everything you need.”
What about Minimalist Enough?
This cuts both ways, however. As a person with lots of things, and an apartment with hundreds of books, I sometimes feel like my efforts to de-clutter and reduce the number of things that surround me aren’t enough. And the thought begins to creep in: I’m not minimalist enough. I see someone who is minimalist and only has 100 things and the internal voice begins again, “I guess I’m not minimalist… enough.”
These attitudes are pervasive and can race around in my head. I can quickly become overwhelmed with the desire to eliminate stuff, lose weight, be better, do more, achieve….more.
But the idea of minimalism isn’t about reaching a goal, or checking off a box, or reaching a certain destination. To me, minimalism is realizing that what I already have is enough, and that adding clutter to the pile won’t make it any better. And chasing a dream of more minimalism is, ironically, not what I’m after either.
To me, as I breathe out and sigh into the life that I’m living, and find gentler ways to tweak, edit, and refine; I find that recognizing what is important and what is not is the most critical exercise.
Stripping away the excess lets us get to the bones of what really matters. Get to the heart space. Get to the pieces that are important. And that level can be different for different people.
My Modest Minimalist Journey.
I recently conducted an experiment in which I decided to stop buying new clothes for the entire year. (There were two exceptions: shoes and underwear, but only as needed). For an entire year, I lived without buying anything new, on purpose. As a female in a clothes-and-image-centric society, I wanted to see what it was like to live without shopping for a while.
I was always dismayed by the number of female friends that were readily going into debt to maintain their image in public. When I thought about it, $400 outfits (the average price on any feature shopping magazine page) can add up to a lot of money if one were to wear a new outfit every day for a year. (That’s $150,000 just on clothes—who are we kidding?). You might think I’m joking—but to be perfectly honest, I know people who are $20,000 and $30,000 in credit card debt from clothes shopping alone. The image pressures on females (and males!) can be increasingly intense.
Yet over the year, as I experimented in my journey of wearing and re-wearing the same outfits hundreds of times, I also found there were times when I got discouraged—especially when I looked around online and saw things like the Versalette by revolution apparel. I inadvertently compared myself to other people who were doing a better job at buying nothing than I was.
But then I realized: I don’t have to be the best or the most minimalist. I can be minimalist enough. Minimalism isn’t about winning, and it isn’t about a particular achievement. It’s about finding out what matters to you, and getting rid of the peripheral.
Over the course of the year, I thinned out my closet and pared down to a few favorite items. I made over twenty trips to charity with bags of clothes and gently worn shoes that I no longer needed. At one point, I had socks and underwear with holes in them, and I got out my sewing machine and fixed them up. Making old things new again was surprisingly satisfying. Getting rid of all of my extra socks—and just having a few pairs to use each day—actually made my life simpler. The process of getting rid of things reminded me of what I liked—and what mattered.
Over time, I started to become acutely aware of everything that crossed the physical threshold of my front door. The amount of stuff that piled up around me on a daily basis crept into my consciousness, and I’m still surprised by the amount of clutter we let into our lives each day. Every time I brought something new in—mail, letters, books, ideas, shopping bags—I tried to make a conscious effort that the stuff I was bringing with me was valuable, and that I was also taking enough stuff out of the apartment each day to keep my space maintainable.
Untethering from the need to consume was surprisingly easy. It was the attitude change that made the most difference: looking through my things and realizing I already had enough—that I didn’t have to rush out and buy something new to fill a hole or a need—let me breathe again. It was relaxing and reassuring to know what I had was okay. What you are is already good enough.
I learned, slowly, that having excess stuff was giving me a headache, wasting my time and energy, and wasting a lot of money I wanted to focus on eliminating debt.
Over time, I will continue to whittle away at the things I don’t need in order to make space for the things I love. It turns out, all those unnecessary clothes were crowding out the space of the things I loved. I got rid of several boxes and cleared off a space for all of my books—one of my loves. Clearing out, to me, is about reducing the unnecessary clutter in your life to make space for what matters, and finding a balance that lets your soul breathe. It’s about stripping away the things you don’t need so you can focus on what’s important.
Sometimes a subtle attitude shift or a small sacrifice can make a big difference. Like taking the time to appreciate that what you already have is enough. And your effort? It’s enough.
Because stuff isn’t what matters.
What you have is enough. YOU are enough.
***
Sarah Peck is a writer, designer and storyteller.
April says
I am one of the minority of women who really really dislike shopping. When I read the title of this post I was like, “I’ve went longer than that without buying clothes.” At one time I literally owned 7 pairs of shoes. But not buying is not as much the point as being content. When other people are constantly unveiling a new outfits, the internet pushes new and great ideas for new clothing by touting ‘it’s for your body type’ or ‘it’s on your color wheel’, and store sales tempt you with 40% off, it’s hard not to become dissatisfied with what you currently own. That is the trick to attain a level of possession that it simple and uncluttered, contentment.
Thanks for making people stop and think about that.
dawn m meyer says
April, I am also one of the very few who dislike shopping. I also have never been “trendy”. I only buy clothes when absolutely necessary. For me, as Vicky says, being ‘minimalistic’ with clothing is very easy. On the flip-side however, if this post had been about books or family heirlooms or my soon-to-be ex husband’s junk that is a completely different story. I was never one to have closets and drawers bursting at the seams, until I got married that is. For many years while married, I would go through everything at home and “organize” because I cannot stand clutter. My symptoms are massive headaches and anxiety. After years of doing this, my mind, heart and reasoning for repeating this insanity just stopped. I did not care any more. I stopped inviting my friends and relatives over for dinner and visits and my home and life were in tatters. Recently, my husband and I seperated with plans to divorce and now I am going through the house and “organizing” everything into bags and boxes for the thrift store or garage sale. I have reclaimed the home that was mine before marriage and am restoring my life to its previous state of contentment and comfort, alone, but not anywhere near as lonely as the life I have been leading. I realize I have gotten off topic a bit, but typing this is as satisfying to me as loading up my jeep with bags of things for donation that I never wanted and no longer letting these things have control of my life. I can now begin to breathe again……..
Vicki Reichert says
Perfectly worded! Love your way of weaving thoughts into words, portraying the struggle all of us seem to have with being ‘more’ minimilistic (if that’s even a word), and realizing that even trying to be more of that only adds to our frustration. I like the idea of thoughtfully deciding what is important, how each item in our home should be important in some way to us. As once pointed out, it should be beautiful or useful to us or it’s not needed. I shall walk around this minimilism idea again and start with the easiest things to pare down, those things that are just sitting there gathering dust. Those things that can be put in a box and forgotten. At least it’s a plan…
Susan says
Great post. And that is enough said!
Lydia says
I have never been one to keep up with fashion nor have I ever liked to shop. I am working towards minimalistic life. I don’t like clutter so I work at keeping things down and purging. Just yesterday I took some of my sons and my clothes to charity. There are all so wonderful websites where you can connect with others who will take your things for free such as freecycle.org. Anything that is hard to get rid of, someone will snatch it up to take it away from you.
unhappy about boxes says
Good afternoon.
For years I have had pretty much the same clothes and same bags.
I was married and gained alot of traditional clothing from my ex husbands family and friends, as these dresses are about 4 yards of material and only sewn on edges to make a kaftan shape they are easily unstitched and cotton pants and blouse can be made from them.
In recent days I’ve been seeing my storage/cargo boxes of my very unused clothes as a burden on my happiness because they were all items I wore whole pregnant with my child who now lives with his father due to a corrupt court.
I’m sat here today wearing clothes I’ve brought because I’ve gained weight. Having already given away roughly 4 big bin liners of clothes, I feel im strong enough now to give away the rest and know orphans and widows will make use of them.
Thank you for this inspirational post. You made me realise that my 6 sets of jeans & blouses (plus my headscarves as I muslim) are enough for me. I’m not a big shopper & buying from charity shops or swapping with others has always been fun.
Have a blessed day.
Regards from the arabian desert.
Donna says
Didn’t mean to repeat iPad has mind of its own sometimes……
Donna says
So I have been simplyfing for what seems like years…and I believe it has been..I’m not where I wNt to be but I’m no longer where I was….just yesterday I was thinking of a new year resolution….how perfect to give up buying new clothes….the idea of me not buying anything new is just something I cannot grasp!! But you want to know something I’m going to give it a Girl Scout try. I am so very fortunate in my life there truly is nothing I need!! I will be following this website and look to you for guidance, I know I will need it wish me luck I usually make 3 resolutions thinking about the other 2….feeling anxious,nervous,unsure, but I need to do this for so many reasons thanks
Donna says
My simplifying has been going on for what seems like years…a work in progress my stuff is giving me chest pain….as we speak I’m in the process of more simplifying….every time I get rid of a box my internal load is lifted I will continue to follow you and your advice
Donna says
I’ve been simplifying for what seems like years now. I have made tremendous progress but still need lots of work….I just enjoy to shop…although I have NEVER been in debt. But I have been overwhelmed by my stuff..I’ve removed 60% of the stuff and people have noticed but I still have stuff and sometimes I get real honest to god chest pain when I look at it!!! As I post this I’m in the process of getting rid of more stuff it is so freeing….I will continue to follow you and your wisdom I need all the help I can get. You are so right. TOO MUCH STUFF
Sheena says
WHOOOAAAAA!!!! I’m so excited about this headline, I haven’t even read any of this yet!! The reason is that my mom and I are wrapping up our 11th clothes-buying-less month!!! I’m not even disappointed about not being original (or maybe I was, I’ll have to check the date on this article)!!! This time last year, I was thinking about “enough” and I think about pioneers a lot (the kind that came across here in wagons) and thought it would be very good to just stop buying clothes for a year. And it has been. It has saved me so much time and money (even though I shopped almost exclusively at thrift stores before) and guilt and stress. AWESOME. I am ecstatic about sharing a brainwave! Okay. Now to read the article and share this with my wonderful mom…