“People are effective because they say ‘no,’ because they say, ‘this isn’t for me’.” —Peter Drucker
In his book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown reminds us of an important truth, “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
When I married my wife 23 years ago, I committed my life to her for better or worse, in sickness or in health. In front of many witnesses, I vowed to be hers until death do us part. And when I said yes to her, I effectively was saying no to 3.5 billion other women.
Similarly, when I chose my career, I said no to countless others that I could have chosen. I write and I speak and pursue the promotion of minimalism. I will never fly a Boeing 747. I will never perform open-heart surgery. And I will never play professional tennis. This is okay with me. I have chosen to make my life about something different.
Every day we are presented with countless choices of how to spend our time, our energy, our effort, and our money. The wisest of us recognize we always have the power to choose. And they choose to pursue their life’s greatest mission by repeatedly saying ‘no’ to things that distract from it.
Donald Miller is the New York Times bestselling author of Blue Like Jazz and StoryBrand. Recently, he wrote a Life Plan program to help people plan and live a meaningful life.
This past winter, while meeting with Donald in San Diego, he said something I have not forgotten. He said, “My goal is to take 1,000,000 people through the Life Plan program. And these days, I am saying ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t get us closer to reaching that goal.”
I have often reflected on this approach to life. It is no different than the advice of Peter Drucker, Greg McKeown, or countless other thought leaders on leadership and influence.
Successful people are adamant about saying ‘no’ to things that do not align with their mission. (tweet that)
Of course, sometimes the choices are obvious (I never was that good at tennis nor was there a long list of women asking for my hand in marriage). But the hardest work is done in the trenches.
Staying on mission is about learning to say ‘no’ to the urgent requests, the popular requests, and the countless opportunities in front of you to make an extra dollar.
What is your purpose? What goals do you have for your life? On what mission do you desire to live? And what plan have you developed to help you get there?
Go, pursue it with your heart and your life. And learn to say ‘no’ to all the countless opportunities that will only distract you from it.
S.C. says
How utterly appropriate for today. I needed to read this. Thank you so much.
Michelle C says
Great reminder, and I’m a big fan of Donald Miller! I think I’ve gotten better at this but I could always be more “ruthless” to really stay on track. :)
ralf says
My boss asked me to do everything, including his work and that of the secretaries. When I said no to what I was not qualified for I was fired. Best thing he could have done. Found a new job and I’m much happier now.
Jimmy Curtis says
Sounds like your boss had minimalist tendencies (do less by getting others to do more) with a bent to exploit those he could.
Bonita says
Words I needed to hear. Stick with what I do best and say “no” to distractions, even paying ones.
Jimmy Curtis says
Nicely done. Insightful.
I have reached a point in life where the primary mission is complete, nothing must be done.
I can do anything I want, when I want, how I want. Total freedom is exhilarating!
Now the next big choice must be made. The urge is to jump into everything that piques my interest. To resist the urge is to do nothing.
Practicing minimalism for me is the acknowledgement that everything under the sun has been done. Nothing must be done unless I choose to do it. And for this I am abundantly grateful.
Merrily Brown says
When I was in high school, I was accused by one of my teachers of being a “jack of all trades, a master of none” because I was in choir, orchestra, theater, swim team, and campus life. I spread myself too thin and didn’t excel at anything. That set the tone for my life…which I’m now trying to change thanks to your books and blog.
Michelle Russell says
This “wanting not to be constrained” is such a huge part of our culture’s paradigm. But what you emphasize here is the important opposite side of that coin which so many of us miss.
I’ve heard it called the paradox of choice–we think that more choice is ALWAYS better, when the truth is that past a certain point (having the real freedom to choose between a healthy and reasonable number of options), more choice tends to overwhelm us to the point of indecision. Or if not that, to introduce a whole new set of worries that maybe we chose badly.
What you’re reminding us here is that committing to a path and choosing to remain “on mission” isn’t constraint as much as it is liberation. Having a mission frees us FROM the tyranny of distraction and frees us TO focus on the things that have the deepest meaning for us.
Thanks for another fantastic post, Joshua. :)
Jimmy Curtis says
Well said!
Affirmation the KISS lifestyle makes sense
Sue Frost, CPO, Organize My Life, Redesign My World says
I love this idea and so many of your posts. I’ve applied the same idea, with a twist, to my organizing practice. That is, we work hard and can have anything we want, we just can’t have everything we want. Just as deadpan comic Steven Wright once said, “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” :) Good stuff.
Sherri Dunham says
Wow. I don’t always get around to reading your wonderful posts but this morning I had a few spare moments and I was glad I took the time. “Successful people are adamant about saying ‘no’ to things that do not align with their mission,” is a statement I’m going to sit with and contemplate. I’m in the midst of great transition in my life right now and this message couldn’t be more pertinent for me; it inspires me to review my own personal mission and make sure I’m using ‘no’ as skillfully as a surgeon’s scalpel. Thank you for this!
BrownVagabonder says
Really interesting post. Being a Type-A personality and coming from a family of Type-A people, saying yes to everything is taken as a sign of strength and success.
This post emulates the opposite though which I really believe is true. Blogging and Yoga makes me happy. I sometimes worry that I should be doing more and other things. But as long as these are the things that are bringing me closer to my goal to happiness and contentment, why do I need more?
SUZI GRANT says
Like that lifestyle – I am not making enough time for Yoga because of my love of Blogging, and the love of walking my dog! If only I could combine the two. Will work on a better work-life balance and incorporate daily yoga as well! Thank you BrownVagabonder.
Suzi x (alternativeageing)
Judy says
Hi Joshua-
I take life one day at a time and no day without God. It works for me, otherwise I get overwhelmed. My family is my main priority (besides God.) I have learned to say no…and it wasn’t easy. But I’m pretty good at it now. I guess my long term goal would be to stay on the right path. My current goal is to make the best of the rest of the year. De-clutter. Clean. Pay-off bills. No charging. No unnecessary spending—ETC. I’m so thankful for your guidance. :)
ren says
I have same goals.
Eliza J says
Hmmmm. I’m letting your words sink in this weekend. Really hits home!
Joyce says
Thank you Josh, for guiding so many down the path of simplicity! I am a Simplicity Coach and love all your wisdom and devotion towards making life more meaningful with less! I look forward to doing more with your programs. You are awesome!