“Money won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” —Zig Ziglar
We live in a culture that begs us to conform. Through its various messages, it calls us to squeeze into its mold. It exerts external pressure on our minds to believe in and buy its opinions, hopes, and aspirations. Yet, the pursuits that define most of our culture never fully satisfy our heart and soul.
In response, the world will tell us to just run faster, reach further, work harder, make more, and become conformed more deeply. But its promised offer of fulfillment always remains out of reach. Our deepest longings are left unsatisfied.
Unfortunately, through this vicious cycle, we lose our uniqueness. We lose our passion. We lose our energy. We lose our opportunity to choose a different future. And because we are too busy chasing the wrong things, we sacrifice our opportunity to find something greater and more fulfilling in this life.
Meanwhile, our heart begs us to live differently. Our spirit calls us to seek our own passions. Our soul cries out for us to not conform. Our insides long for us to live countercultural lives. But all too often, the external pressure from the world calls us back into conformity. And we reenter the race. How then do we break free?
Are there steps we can take to live countercultural lives?
First, we can admit that there must be more. We can come to a point where we realize that there is more to life than what the world is peddling. We admit that we have foolishly bought what the world is selling… and our lives are still empty. Possessions have not brought happiness. Money has not provided security. Popularity and power have not satisfied. And sex has not brought love. The answers clearly do not lie in a life conformed to the unoriginal culture of our day.
Second, we can limit culture’s messages into our lives. The calls for conformity enter through our eyes and ears, take room in our mind, and force out the pleas surfacing from within our soul. While we can never remove the external pressure completely, we can limit their opportunity for impact. We can watch less television. We can flip through fewer ads. We can worship fewer celebrities. We can find more silence. And as we begin to reduce the noise from the outside, we open space in our mind to hear from the inside.
Third, we can listen more to our heart. In the absence of external noise, we find more opportunity to intentionally search our heart. We find the space to allow our soul to speak and cry out for its desires. We hear best in solitude, meditation, and self-examination. But be advised, this is difficult at the beginning. We are rarely flattered with what we find at first. We must face the hard truth that we have wasted most of our lives chasing the wrong things. We are humbled at how easily we believed culture’s false promises. But keep listening. The look back is necessary, but short.
Fourth, we can pursue our newfound passions. To complete the process, we must realign our lives to seek our heart’s truest desires. If our lives do not intentionally chart a course in this new direction, they will eventually revert back to their original state. But be assured that you don’t need to know every step of the journey ahead, you only need to know the first one… however small it may be.
Nobody can tell you where your heart will lead. Your soul must speak for itself. But rarely will it ask for more money, possessions, fame, or power. It will usually ask for something far more countercultural than those.
Daniel M. Wood says
I just have to say that I loved that quote!
It really hits a point, thank you for sharing it. I have already mentioned it to my colleagues and they agreed, it is brilliant.
dave peters says
i had people accusing me of trying to show off my “poverty”.
make no mistake, minimalism, especially “extreme minimalism” (minimumism or min) is un American. d
Rebecca at thebestthingsinlondonarefree says
No, James Franklin Johnson, he didn’t write this just for you, he wrote it just for ME, ME, ME! (joking) Now that’s impressive writing – to seem to be speaking directly to so many of your readers. Slightly awestruck by that kind of ability.
Seriously, this has chimed so perfectly with my personal struggles right now – as I pursue a life which others don’t quite understand – for instance, minimalism, “where’d all your stuff go? have you been burgled?”, and writing because it’s not a proper job, doncha know?, and giving up consumerism “but don’t you worry about depriving your son?”
I hate to admit it, but up until very recently I sought the approval of others way more than I trusted my own judgement. The life I’m living right now is my authentic path, I know that, but approval is a little thin on the ground. And sometimes it’s hard to hold on to what I truly believe I’m here for when the world around me looks on in mild disappointment (I got ‘Funny, I always thought you’d be a high-achiever’ the other day. That was nice…). Thanks so much for this post.
Naiyaru says
I’d like to reply to your story, because I can really relate to that! The hardest part is not ‘getting on the road to authenticity’ but staying there. When at birthday parties, work or other social obligations (yes I just called (parts of) my work a social obligation I’m aware of that haha) it get’s tough to hold on to one’s believes.
Especially that feeling that people look down on you is pretty jucky. I’ve been called ‘lacking ambition’ and other words, and that I used to be more ‘fiery and passionate’ Don’t get me wrong, I’d love my fiery self back, but I need the fire in the right track, my track, and not someone else’s.
As you might expect, it was very reassuring for me to read both this article and your reply, thanks Rebecca! Know that you – and all the others looking for their true voice – have my full support from the other side of the ocean ;)
nextstarfish says
Fantastic article.
Particularly like the idea of ‘limiting culture’s messages into our lives’.
It meshes well with one of the themes on my own blog http://www.nextstarfish.com, and If you’re interested I’d be very grateful if I could use it as a guest post in the near future ?
I think it’s a message everyone needs to hear more.
Elizabeth says
I really appreciate what you write. Sometimes I find the pictures you use to be a bit creepy, like today, a blonde with a big giant smile. Not quite sure what that has to do with living in a counter culture. There’s enough substantial material in your writing that you don’t even need pictures. Yes, a lot of substantial material.
joshua becker says
Elizabeth,
I so appreciate your comment! Nearly everytime I pick a photo I worry if somebody is not going to like it. Thanks for confirming one of my biggest blogging fears. My personal worry is too often selecting women that fit into a culture-driven stereotype. Unfortunately, I have found a 3:1 (women:men) ratio on stock photo websites and most of those women are squarely in the middle of previously mentioned stereotype. I do try hard to include men on at least 25% of the posts.
That being said, I do spend energy and resources trying to select photos that add to the words of the post. Images can communicate thoughts and emotions much faster than words. Color helps draw in eyes and attention. And addds to the first impression for visitors. That’s why I use them and will probably continue to do so.
In this particular post, an image was selected that I thought helped to communicate authentic joy in life.
Randy says
Perhaps photos of nature would be as effective? I have been de-cluttering and de-owning. Yesterday I tackled the big cedar chest packed full of treasures that I had collected over the years. I was surprised that I was able to immediately part with 95% of the items. It was such a good feeling!
Robin says
Joshua, LOVE the change of photo. I agree about a photo being an important first impression. This new photo drew my attention immediately, and is calming in its beauty and simplicity.
pat says
I love the photo! It drew me in instantly.. there is a reason the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” is so often repeated. I thought the photo perfectly illustrated the entire post… the beauty of being unique.
Mike | Homeless On Wheels says
What she said. No need for cheesy stock photos, unless they help to illustrate a point better than the words.
dave peters says
we are basically spiritual beings with bodies. we need to focus on the spiritual and the physical will take care of itself. d
Katarina Stenstedt says
Thanks for the great post, Joshua. So true that to hear from the inside, we have to block cultural noise that comes at us from the outside. I like what you say about originality and creativity. It’s bizarre that one of our culture’s messages is that we can express our uniqueness by means of what we purchase. Huh? Obviously not true, but…so “easy”!
Kristy Powell says
Fantastic post, Joshua. Gosh our brains think on ridiculously similar wave lengths, though I trust yours is more wise and experienced than mine, thus why I so often connect and am impacted by your posts.
It’s funny… the last few years I’ve been moving through all those steps and I’ve been teetering between step 3 and 4 for a bit now, and just recently leapt (albeit reluctantly) into what I think is step 4. I’ll post about this as soon as I can put it all “out there,” but in the mean time it is really reassuring to read that it seems I’ve taken the right path to where I’m about to be and that makes me less reluctant.
Living counter culturally is a must for me… with the effort put toward making what is currently counter cultural, soon cultural. My intent is not to be different, my intent is to live in what is good, be it counter or not. And scary though it may be, the closer you get to step four, the more sweet, and invigorating and joyful it becomes. I’m nearly there… for now at least.
Cara says
Great post, and very timely for me. I have been thinking a lot lately about how I really want to live my life, and I have been surprised to discover how much of what I thought was what I wanted has in fact only been what I thought was expected of me. I’m still struggling with these exterior expectations, but I am trying my best to find my own voice amongst all the others, and follow my own path. Thankyou for the inspiration I found in this post!
Amy says
Me too! I love my home but when snooty friends come over I look at it critically… Through their eyes and I begin to despise what I otherwise love. It shouldn’t be that way. I love my famy, art books and cats…who cares if my home isn’t magazine worthy? It’s filled with love and depth!
Heather says
I agree! I love our home and the coziness of it. Certain people have a way about them that gets me feeling self-conscious about it. I’m glad there are blogs like this one to encourage me and remind me of what is truly important. Thank you!
ren says
Agreed, then I think, to each their own…our house did not put us in financial straits…not cluttered, what remains is precious items that we cherish.
Southern girl says
Why do you choose to have “snooty friends”? What good does it do to get rid of things that don’t bring joy but keep people who don’t? Find some genuine friends.
James Franklin Johnson says
What great thinking!! Did you write this just for me? Thank you
Maria Antoniette says
I love this article.Just what I needed to read today. Thank you for posting it! Peace to you