“Money won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” —Zig Ziglar
We live in a culture that begs us to conform. Through its various messages, it calls us to squeeze into its mold. It exerts external pressure on our minds to believe in and buy its opinions, hopes, and aspirations. Yet, the pursuits that define most of our culture never fully satisfy our heart and soul.
In response, the world will tell us to just run faster, reach further, work harder, make more, and become conformed more deeply. But its promised offer of fulfillment always remains out of reach. Our deepest longings are left unsatisfied.
Unfortunately, through this vicious cycle, we lose our uniqueness. We lose our passion. We lose our energy. We lose our opportunity to choose a different future. And because we are too busy chasing the wrong things, we sacrifice our opportunity to find something greater and more fulfilling in this life.
Meanwhile, our heart begs us to live differently. Our spirit calls us to seek our own passions. Our soul cries out for us to not conform. Our insides long for us to live countercultural lives. But all too often, the external pressure from the world calls us back into conformity. And we reenter the race. How then do we break free?
Are there steps we can take to live countercultural lives?
First, we can admit that there must be more. We can come to a point where we realize that there is more to life than what the world is peddling. We admit that we have foolishly bought what the world is selling… and our lives are still empty. Possessions have not brought happiness. Money has not provided security. Popularity and power have not satisfied. And sex has not brought love. The answers clearly do not lie in a life conformed to the unoriginal culture of our day.
Second, we can limit culture’s messages into our lives. The calls for conformity enter through our eyes and ears, take room in our mind, and force out the pleas surfacing from within our soul. While we can never remove the external pressure completely, we can limit their opportunity for impact. We can watch less television. We can flip through fewer ads. We can worship fewer celebrities. We can find more silence. And as we begin to reduce the noise from the outside, we open space in our mind to hear from the inside.
Third, we can listen more to our heart. In the absence of external noise, we find more opportunity to intentionally search our heart. We find the space to allow our soul to speak and cry out for its desires. We hear best in solitude, meditation, and self-examination. But be advised, this is difficult at the beginning. We are rarely flattered with what we find at first. We must face the hard truth that we have wasted most of our lives chasing the wrong things. We are humbled at how easily we believed culture’s false promises. But keep listening. The look back is necessary, but short.
Fourth, we can pursue our newfound passions. To complete the process, we must realign our lives to seek our heart’s truest desires. If our lives do not intentionally chart a course in this new direction, they will eventually revert back to their original state. But be assured that you don’t need to know every step of the journey ahead, you only need to know the first one… however small it may be.
Nobody can tell you where your heart will lead. Your soul must speak for itself. But rarely will it ask for more money, possessions, fame, or power. It will usually ask for something far more countercultural than those.
Shannon says
I love this. Sounds a lot like Paul in his letter to the Romans, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Living against the culture has been a challenge for over 2,000 years. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts.
Maddie says
We are knee deep in this right now as we just moved our family of four onto a boat and live docked at a small island in the Pacific Northwest. We are finding that as we venture further down this past away from mainstream culture, there is this beautiful peace that exists that we are only beginning to feel. The hardest part was making the initial leap.
http://www.adventuresofwildrose.wordpress.com
Devon says
Great piece! Beautifully written and the message is clear and resonant!
I’ve been working towards minimalism for the past 4 years. My family thinks I’m a bit weird but they seem to be accepting it with time (they are family, after all). But a lot of friends are very resistant and as a result, have definitely distanced themselves from me. I know in some cases we’ve probably grown apart a bit, but I don’t really see why other than the minimalist perspective and my resistance to (typical) American consumerism. I know what makes sense for me and I wish that people would simply accept that (I don’t force minimalism on anyone although I do, when appropriate, talk about how great it is).
Being part of the counter-culture can be a bit lonely. It’s nice to see so many people on this site who have similar perspectives. Thanks for the great post!
john williams says
of course, in a perfect world, everyone could “follow their heart, listen to their soul.” Unfortunately many of us had to work very hard to even survive. Your post is very idealistic and not very realistic. Also, just wondering why you always have to have your photo? ego thing i think. and, i don’t have to worry about you answering this because my guess is you don’t read these posts.
Layne says
I have followed my heart and listened to my soul since I was a child, much to the chagrin of my mother who was all about what people think of her and her life. She was miserable in every aspect of her life, while I let things go. She struggled in life just to survive, but I struggle in life just to survive as well. I work hard; she worked hard. They are not mutually exclusive. This post is very realistic in that who we are needn’t be attached to income or how hard we work. At the end of her life she confided in me that she wished I was her mother after watching me mother my two kids, who I did not reinforce conformity, but who were allowed to follow their interests. We were not free spirit, unwashed hippies, just a family that was relaxed and accepting of those who think differently. They are now 19 and 22 struggling with life, but without the burden of conformity or trying to ‘fit in’ to be happy. She always said, “I don’t know where you came from” as I was so different than what she tried to beat into me at times.
Liz Neighbors says
Thank you. It’s that simple. Thank you for sharing! Also, I love listening to you in the podcast universe. I’ve been simplifying, decluttering, donating and tossing out stuff. With every giant Hefty bag that goes out the door, I feel our family
Getting a little bit lighter. Thank you. It’s like the chicken and the egg. Am I simplifying by decluttering or am I decluttering by keeping it simple. Either way, it’s been a slow and steady process but doing it with purpose, intention and a grateful heart makes it all much more fun. Grateful changes everything!
Patricia C. says
I love this. So well expressed. One of your best that I’ve read. I’ll be sharing this with others close to me to explain where my life is headed these days.
Thank you.
Happy Annie says
Great post ! Just a comment on the accompanying photos Joshua: I like photos that are in harmony with the subject matter of a post. You must have changed this one because I see a bright red rose in the midst of a golden field. A perfect photo for this topic! I find that I like photos that are of landscapes, animals, children and still life photos. I also like photos of families, couples and single adults if the photos are thpughtful and go with the article. I think you usually do a very good job. And I love the coffee mug photos :)
Ute K. Mercado says
“And as we begin to reduce the noise from the outside, we open space in our mind to hear from the inside.”
Simply brilliant.
Debbie says
I love the post and hope it encourages more people to seek out who they really are and stop being a copy of the culture. I have struggled to live counterculture for a really long time. The most difficult part of it is feeling like I am all alone out there. It wasn’t too bad when it was just my husband and me, but now with kids, it is more difficult to avoid a lot of it. The worst is trying to connect with other parents when their conversation topics are more concerned with shopping experiences and excessive birthday parties. I’d love to see a post on dealing with that!
Tara says
INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL WORDS! INSPIRING AND MOTIVATING!