Recently, I attended an event at my daughter’s high school. She was receiving an award for academic success.
The awards ceremony took place in the school gymnasium.
There were two folding tables on one end of the gym for the principal and guidance counselors who read off the names and explained the significance of the award.
In the middle of the gym floor were two simple folding chairs set up to mark where the students were to walk.
The parents sat on bleachers on one side of the gym.
Before the ceremony, we ate a dinner of ground turkey tacos. On our way home, we got some ice cream. Nothing fancy, just a small treat to celebrate.
After returning home, I watched a few innings of a baseball game before going to bed at 10pm (which is about all the later I can seem to stay up these days).
In almost every imaginable way, there was nothing extravagant about the night.
It seems to me there are three approaches I could have taken during the evening:
1. I could entirely unappreciate the night, begrudgingly attend the school event, and complain about the whole thing.
I could have been upset that I HAD to go out another night of the week.
I could have thought about how tired I was from work, how many things needed to be completed around the house, or how I just didn’t want to attend another thing.
Rare is the parent who would choose option #1 and begrudgingly complain about attending the night (although they do exist).
2. I could appreciate the beauty and meaning of the night for what it was.
The night was simple, but meaningful and beautiful.
There is a lot of beauty to be found in ordinary things.
3. I could daydream about how much better the night could have been with a few upgrades.
We could have gone out to eat for a steak dinner before the ceremony… that would have made the night even better.
They could have hired a professional speaker, local media personality, or special music for the event. They could have had a fancier queue line for the students… that would have been better.
We could have sat on more comfortable chairs than bleachers… that would have been better.
We could have chosen a fancier dessert, driven a newer car, or returned home to a bigger screen television. Certainly, any of those upgrades would have made the evening even more luxurious and enjoyable, right?
I could have spent the entire night looking for all the ways it could be better.
But what benefit does it give my life to do that?
How does it increase my happiness or joy in life to constantly think my life would be better if I just had x?
None, whatsoever. Nor would more comfortable chairs, a newer car, or fancier meal have changed the accomplishment and meaning of the evening.
Too often we miss the beauty of ordinary things by wishing for something better.
It is a gift to yourself to see the beauty of ordinary things. To not constantly look around you and your circumstances and dwell on all the ways your life would improve if it were upgraded.
Our world encourages discontent at every turn and our minds too often embrace it. Even though it seems unwise to discount the beauty right in front of us, we do it all the time.
We wish the house was bigger, the restaurant was fancier, the vacation was more exotic, or the television was larger.
We wish the furniture was fancier, the clothes were more fashionable, the phone was upgraded, or the mode of transportation was more luxurious.
We wish the boss was more understanding, the weather was warmer, the stomach was flatter, or the bank account had more zeroes.
But when we live life constantly desiring more and better, we miss the beauty of the ordinary right in front of us.
It is one thing to work to improve your lot in life. It is something completely different to miss the beauty and blessings of the life you are currently experiencing.
Wise is the man or woman who chooses to see them.
Gail Grant says
Perfectly said. Thank you Joshua!
Valerie Rogers says
Life is better from the cheapest seats, always has been.
Yesterday I attended a Christian ceremony quite profound and moving. We were outside where it was chilly, windy. I prayed the wind didn’t get worse and it settled some. Afterward was pizza for those who couldn’t make the treck further where there’d be dinner. I was thrilled, thanking God to have the opportunity to be around such positive energy to encourage me these days. I was just happy to “be”, and feel PART of something wonderful for a change.
Tracey E says
Thank you SO much for this article today. So many good reminders for me,
Congratulations to your daughter
On her academic achievements. It sounds like a perfect evening of being together as a family and enjoying the truly simple and more meaningful things in life.
On another related topic, in my City, Real Estate prices have gone through the roof. And, I’m order the sell your home, it has to look like a model home with the kitchen, bathrooms and even laundry room and furniture all in the latest styles. We may want to sell in the next few years. I find I’m constantly worried about getting my home “ready”. It was built in 1981, it’s 1200
Square feet and it really hasn’t changed much, small upgrades to the kitchen and bathroom, but it doesn’t have a big open concept kitchen and that sort of thing.
Maybe you could point me to one of your articles that might help me put things in perspective, or maybe even a reader could share how they deal with this “my home isn’t good enough to sell” mentality
Thank you!!
BethJoy says
I’m not the expert, but I am considering that your home might be exactly what someone will be looking for, at the time you want to sell. Not everyone wants the latest upgrade or a big open concept kitchen! Someone will be looking for a home that reminds them of “home”.
Aymee Peters says
Too often we miss the beauty of the ordinary by wishing for something better
Janine Perla says
Pues está un padre conviviendo con su hija en un momento ordinario pero especial y significativo soy de Sonora traduzcame en Google
Deb says
Sorry, but I don’t understand the reason that photo was chosen for this very good article. I must be missing something.
Annie says
Perhaps you’re focusing on how awesome the kitchen is to the exclusion of seeing the couple enjoying the simple pleasure of preparing a meal together. It was hard for me not to think oh, I wish I had a kitchen like that! ?
joshua becker says
I thought the photo captured two people enjoying an ordinary evening quite well.
Marilee says
Wise words!
Steve says
Joshua, thank you for helping us focus on more important things. I need that. “Our world encourages discontent at every turn and our minds too often embrace it.” Part of why I subscribe to your emails is the regular remind to go after life and not let it get buried in stuff, or the quest for more.
I will add (and you make one mention of it right at the end), being content is not about settling for second best (or worse). There is much meaning to be found in striving for excellence, but it always has to be kept in balance with contentment. “Godliness WITH CONTENTMENT is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6, emphasis added) The possible upgrades “bells and whistles” on the evening you describe could have added to parents feeling respected and appreciated for their efforts to support their child’s achievement, or students feeling more respect and honor for their achievement. But you remind us, those are the bells and whistles, not the truly meaningful stuff. As I stated, for the very reasons you lay out, I need reminds to keep nudging me in the better direction!
Cheryl H. says
I love this article! I am a teacher at a private school and so many times we have school parents that want the “upgrades.” They take over events as volunteers and pay for the upgrades themselves. It’s sad that as a community, we can’t appreciate the simple act of gathering to recognize students. Who do these upgrades make happier? Do they not in someway distract from the student’s achievements?
Phyllis says
Thank you Joshua for this lovely piece. I needed this reminder today.
Grace Fung says
Such a beautiful way to lay out three possible choices of attitude in life. This determines our mood and mental well-being. Thanks so much for your generous sharing
Terry says
My sentiment exactly. Thank you for saying what I was thinking.