A few months ago, my wife and I took our kids on a short weekend trip to the mountains. As we pulled out of our neighborhood and merged onto the four lane highway, we suddenly realized an important detail for the trip had been left undone.
Kim and I both assumed the other person was going to make the necessary arrangements. As a result, neither of us had accomplished the task. And now, the trip had already begun.
The problem would ultimately be fixed with a little extra time and money. But in the moment, our conversation abruptly ended. Tenseness ensued. And both of us stared silently out the windshield in disgust.
After a few short minutes, one little voice called out from the backseat, “Umm, are you guys ever going to talk again?” The silence had become unbearable.
I was reminded again how silence has become a difficult atmosphere in our society.
In our homes, we turn on our televisions. In our cars, we turn on the radio. When we exercise, we put on our headphones. Even when waiting in elevators or on hold with customer service, sound fills the void.
It seems we have become uncomfortable with the very presence of silence in our lives. We speak of “awkward silences” in a room full of people. We fear that brief moment when we meet someone new and aren’t quite sure what to say. And I remember being on countless dates growing up where any lapse in the conversation meant the entire relationship was doomed forever.
My family even pokes fun at me when I mute the television during commercials—as if the idea of sitting in quiet for 2 minutes is too long.
But in a world filled with noise, silence becomes even more important.
It is no secret we are bombarded everyday with countless messages.
Advertisements from every flat surface and frequency tell us what to watch, where to go, and what to purchase. Countless artists fill canvases, screens, and printed paper hoping to convince us of their worldview and beliefs. Political pundits from every aisle and experts from every imaginable field speak boldly about how we should proceed on the most important issues of our time.
Meanwhile, silence quietly calls for our attention. Because only in extended periods of solitude, can we rediscover our hearts and the voice of timeless wisdom in our lives.
The benefits of silence and solitude in a noisy world are significant and life-giving. In quiet moments of reflection:
- We remove the expectation and influence of others.
- We hear our heart speak clearly.
- We reflect on our past and chart our future.
- We find rest and refreshment.
- We break the cycle of busyness in our lives.
- We become better equipped to show patience and love to others.
While anyone can experience silence at any time by finding a quiet place to sit for an extended period of time, I have found solitude does not occur naturally in our noise-centered world. It must be intentionally pursued by each of us.
But for it to be pursued, it must first be valued and desired.
Be reminded of the importance of silence and solitude. Make its presence a habit in your life—both in small ways and in big ways. You’ve got nothing to lose. And your whole life to gain back.
liu says
I’m also a “muter”! I always mute commercials, no matter how short; I watch tv-shows streamed so I don’t have to see the ads. The woods are across the road from me, a short walk and there’s a little creek…I go there to just be, to feel and listen to myself. If the silence is awkward with people, I think for me they might be the wrong kind. I need to be around persons who can sit and read a book or do art or take a little catnap; no need for constant small-talk. Music, dancing and all combinations of the two are my great passions in life, but I also enjoy silence; it’s like ying and yang; shadow and light; one can’t survive without the other.
Charlotte says
What did you forget?
I enjoy “outdoor silence” with the only noise being nature’s own … wind, trees, birds, animals, rain, etc.
Paul says
A couple of years ago, I realized the constant noise in the world. Since that day I don’t speak except to answer questions pointed directly at me. Comments don’t get a sound from me, only direct questions. I love being in the present moment and people always want to discuss a past or future event. Keeping my answers short (but always smiling and being kind and patient, I love people) results in fewer questions.
I love this post and the responses from your readers. Looking forward to more people finding it and practicing silence more often.
Sandy says
I just happened to come across this web site and am intrigued. I have been pitching boxes of 35 years of accumulation and it feels great. Can’t wait to downsize. My vision is a condo where my husband and I are free to explore life rather than spending our time doing yard work and cleaning. After reading this post, I have been mulling around the silent idea. My silence can be very cluttered. I’m working on getting rid of the drama that goes on in my head. I’m wondering what silence means to you all (I mean in your head). What are your thoughts in your silence.
Marjorie Waterbrook says
I work with at-risk high school students who have no concept of silence: they have earbuds in their ears and music pumping into them virtually every minute of every day–unless they are talking to one another. They insist they can study better with their music. Just one of their many habits that drive their teachers nuts. I, on the other hand, once the students have left for the day, absolutely luxuriate in the “sounds of silence.” I literally feel as if I can hear it and it is so welcome and so relaxing. At home, too, I often choose to have not even the best music playing. I need the silence to really concentrate on whatever it is I might be doing. So…bottom line: I am just confirming your words on the value in silence…and one of the ways I have come to appreciate it even more fully.
Bruce says
Sometime ago in the past, I developed a condition called tinnitus which is a constant ringing in my ears (apparently a pretty common condition with no real cure). Any silence I have will be accompanied by this ringing. The sad part of this REALLY is the fact that, due all of the constant noises that surround us today, I have no idea when this condition started. :-(
Helena Alkhas says
As someone who *absolutely* needs silence, I loved this post.
I make it a point to spend at least 1 hour a day in quiet, and alone. It’s just how I’m wired and I learned not to find myself weird for being this way. :)
Sarah says
Enjoyed reading this post, but the first thing that jumped out at me was the fact that the kids were responding to the silence of tension, not just silence in and by itself. The silence of tension is like a 747 revving up for takeoff. Thanks for the thoughtful and enjoyable post!
Victorious says
So many comments. why is everyone compelled to leave comments? silence please.
Paul says
Victorious,
I enjoyed this comment. I briefly thought this same thing as I descended the page while reading.
I leave this link for you as I have enjoyed it many times:
http://mnmlist.com/
Victorious says
Thank you Paul. …I notice how people continue to just vomit their comments and stories. I guess they simply can’t help it. It must be deep in their DNA and conditioned minds to just blur out what’s in their unconscious mind. We need a change.
Shaz says
I’m chuckling at your comment. Silently.
Yuvrajsinh says
Anybody tried,
Silence of Noise ?