I find it difficult to admit most of my life was wasted chasing the wrong things. Looking back, it has become increasingly clear how I spent the first 33 years of my life chasing temporal, material possessions. I thought my life would improve as I acquired them.
It was supposed to be the “American Dream.” But I was all wrong.
While my household possessions were not extravagant, they accumulated over years—especially as we moved into larger and larger homes. Each move would result in more rooms to furnish and more empty closets and storage areas to keep our stuff. Fashions changed and thus, we bought new clothes. New technology emerged and we purchased new gadgets. Kids entered our family and with them came toys, gifts, hand-me-downs, and purchases “necessary” to raise them correctly.
Eventually, our possessions began subtly to control our lives. We spent countless hours cleaning, sorting, organizing, repairing, replacing, removing, and maintaining our physical possessions—not to mention all the time we spent on the front end earning the money just to make the initial purchase in the first place.
Our pursuit of material possessions was controlling our checkbook, draining our energy, and robbing us of true, lasting joy.
But then, everything changed.
When I was 33 years old, we began giving away all the possessions in our lives that were not absolutely essential to our purpose and goals. Eventually, our family removed over 60% of our earthly possessions. And we couldn’t be happier. We found more time, money, and energy to pursue the things in life most valuable to us: faith, family, and friends. We discovered far greater fulfillment in life pursuing our passions than we had ever discovered pursuing possessions.
And now, my only regret is that we didn’t pursue simple living sooner—that we wasted so much time, so many years, and so many resources. If I could do life over again, I would have embraced a minimalist life earlier: my teens, my twenties, or as a newly-formed family. As a result, from the very beginning, we would have experienced:
- Less debt.
- Less clutter.
- Less financial obligation and debt.
- More savings.
- More intentionality.
- More presence with others in my life.
- Less need to get ahead at others’ expense.
- More passion.
- More contentment.
The life-giving invitation to minimalism holds benefit for every generation. It is never too late to start no matter what stage of life you are introduced to it. But my life would attest to the fact that today is the best day to begin living with less. And the earlier in life, the better.
About Joshua Becker
I will make use of your ideas. Thank you.
Christime, my best friend just gave me a chunk of his notebooks that he gathered and had for them no room in his new renovated office. I think he used to get them in bulk at Costco and added in for his business because of his needs to slowly enter his notes by categories into a charting and excel format at work. He needed my help and I offered to take all of his colorful and sized notebooks to my new place and do it for him at my leisure time. In a steady way, it was a pleasure to go back to Marie Kondo approach of keeping track of what you can put in a bin for each of the colorful or in size item eg. IKEA is a good place where I could have found some etzy and nice furniture for him, and when it is not, then ebay is my favorite place to hang out to find potentially recently used or on sales. It costs me no less than a few pounds to be very satisfied with the use of the new space for what he seems to hold on for all his life. And I can see where he is coming from as I am myself a retired writer and editor in the communication industry for over a decade before I moved on to a new field that is less technology involved and is more in direct care that I am just so thankful that I can do this ,…in my retired years…
I lived in ‘bedsit’ land until my very late 20s and everything I owned didn’t take up much space at all. Then I met my husband who likes ‘shiny things’ and fast forward 30 odd years, 5 children,5 house moves later and we have ‘stuff’! We are debt free though – no mortgage, no owing anyone anything! Feels good. Last child at home but hope to make the downsize move in about 2 years when husband retires. Getting rid of things already. House always feels lighter when we let things go. I love books though. Any hints on how to downsize my 200 odd? :)
When I moved out at the age of 22, I started out with just the basics. Over the years, I accumulated the “American Dream” of stuff. After I married, at age 30, my eyes were opened when I saw ALL of my spouse’s stuff. I have been donating items for over 5 years now, and live with so much less now. I even gave away my wedding china, because I never used it. I just kept 2 coffee mugs and a decorative candle holder that I love. My home is just me and my spouse, (who eventually caught on, and has deleted a huge portion of his stuff.), and every season I re-evaluate my clothes, household items, and sewing items. If there are things I have not worn or use within a year, I gather them and donate them. The feeling that I have after I do this is so freeing and happy, and when I look at my clothing and personal items, and sewing hobby, I see what I want to see and wear, and use, and sew!
Dipping my toes into the minimalism lifestyle. I dedicated this decade to be my minimalist decade. I’m taking baby steps but I like where this is going!
I’m 72 and have just finished round one of getting rid of stuff and minimizing. I let my grown kids look it all over and turns out they don’t want it either!
The really joyful part is now I have lots of room in my home, including a bedroom which will be rented out to a college student and another one for my teen grandchildren to hang out with their friends.
“Our pursuit of material possessions was controlling our checkbook, draining our energy, and robbing us of true, lasting joy.”
I am over 50 and am living this phrase right now. I am in deep debt, and own far more than I need. I have begun this journey to get debt free and live intentionally and to get my life back. I too, wish I had learned it earlier, but better late than never.
Everyone around me was saying I would “need” the big house with the finished basement because we were starting a family. So I went for the big house. Turned out to be a big mistake. The maintenance, the running up and down stairs, the baby gates, the yard work, the constant organizing, the costs, the empty space to fill, ugh! Now that we’re in a small apartment I realize this would have been soooooo much easier all along. Live and learn. Never, ever going back to big house nor high-maintenance yard nor backyard swimming pool. Love my simple life.
We don’t have any kids, but live in a really nice, modest home. It’s perfect for us. But yet, people always call it our “starter home” and make comments of how we will probably be out of there in a year or two to move to something bigger.
I don’t get it. It’s just the two of us and there’s absolutely no need for anything bigger. But yet, people act like our goal in life should be to get out of this house and into something grander. I’m so glad that is not our goal.
I do wish I would have embraced minimalism younger than my 402, but its never too late and I’m glad I have a new, more contented outlook on life with it!!
Correction on above post…*meant* younger than my 40’s!:)
We are still living in our “starter home” after 28 years. A friend of mine said I was lucky, my house is perfect for our retirement. No need to downsize. It was always perfect. The people who referred to our starter home were always envious when we went on a fabulous vacation. They were all house poor!
I was really insulted when a colleague of my father in law (a wealthy doctor with far too many collections and far too many wives and ex-wives) once visited our newly bought home and declared it a “nice starter home.” Who was he to say that we could not stay in our first home? I admittedly have complained over the years and have yearned for a bigger home, but am trying to really explore the reasons and my real needs. I think the wise course is to stay in our house, paid off long ago, and focus on shedding the junk.
Last weekend I spent about 4 hours cleaning out a room on my one real day off of the week. I have been on a slow journey to less for a long time now, but my focus has only been on “things.” That day last weekend really reinforced to me that minimalism is really about more, more time and more freedom.
whenever I tell people less in more they tell me I am being negative
That’s why I prefer the term “simple living” instead of “minimalism.”
I’m 70 and getting ready to move from my house to a one bedroom apartment. I’m greatly reducing my possessions. I look forward to living in a more peaceful simple way.
Carol, I’m interested in your decision. I’m 71 and thinking about making such a change. It’s a big step. I’ve been living simply for years, but leaving my house is the next decision.
I have been reading about minimalism for a while and looks right for me.
Find I have no time to read, but hmmmm, time to watch TV and FB and emails….
Switching my thinking for summer, taking time to read in evening when I unplug and thinking of dusting of piano books or learning new song.
Time to expand.
Love love love the Whole Idea!! Our 4 kids r almost grown & my hubby & I have been thinking minimalist & tiny house might go together. Simple as possible. But just wanna be someplace Very Safe!
No regrets….just thankfulness. I’m thankful you discovered minimalism and I’m even more thankful that I discovered your website.
I’m 43 and I’m rocking this minimalism lifestyle. I’m always organizing and just a few weeks ago realized it’s because I have too much stuff! (had)
Thank you.
Simple Life Gives a man or a woman Good sense and makes you feel with low cost of life and the mind is free has no Thinking of How much I gain and how I do more Projects, as the English says take it easy ,
No Every day Plan , Simple Work May be agriculture is the most thing which gives rest , Simple agriculture with out technology Producing some daily needs for life and making Some to make a simple income(for Selling),
I am thinking to have very very Simple Life (No Mobile, No Internet, No ——- )
Because technology and the develop makes head ache and it takes your Rest and makes your Mind bussy,
We wish to Build a community for Doing Simple Life Programme,
The Life will Moves and the end will Come , So do it Simply and go on.
I am inspired to live minimalist but I am also not sure where to start or what to do first. It seems like I am always acquiring stuff I don’t want or need from people. We have 8 kids and even the essential items such as clothes for different seasons (we live in New England) shoes, winter, boots rainboots, coats, gloves etc fills up my house. Ad to that any toys or books, stuffed animals or even art supplies and you can see how much stuff we end up with. I truly believe less is more but I don’t know how to get less. I always get rid of stuff but then I get more and most stuff I get used or free.
Both of my parents are hoarders and have taught me both to feel the need to have something just in case, and also to hate material possessions!
I am decluttering and have been for the last three years. I got ill with Cfs/M.e after having swine flu,I also became sight impaired and had to give up driving. I lost my job and had to downsize twice. I really struggle with letting go as I feel like I have lost such alot already. I am also very scared that when I have finished decluttering there will be nothing left foe me to do, or to fill my life with.
I can’t pursue my passions because illness limits me. I am debt free, I co-own my house with my Mum, we share the bills and keep to a budget. We have saved for a new bathroom and are now saving for a new kitchen.
So what can I look forward too?
Making new friends! Expanding your circle of relationships. I like gardening and seeing the seedlings turn into delicious food. Such a pleasure. Start with a herb garden!
I agree .. I have M.E and ehlers Danlos syndrome . I don’t get to go out much I have de littered our home got rid of 80% of our belongings and now spend my spring and summers gardening and the autium winters preserving good . Making jam etc and baking with my son . I find the days I spend lost in a book not a waste but a period of growth . Just because my life looks different to those that do not not live like me doesn’t make it wrong ! Live a life that’s brings you some joy .. Nature brings us so much of that ! X
I’ve lived a moneyless, self sufficient life for about 8 years now. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I get more pleasure out of rescuing old furniture and tools and renovating them, than I ever did buying that must have item in the store.
Good for the planet too!
I’m trying really hard to get rid of stuff, clutter. I’m 20, I’ve been trying to declutter my own possessions for about a year now, so much has gone yet it feels like I still have so much. It’s stressful because I would love so much to have only essentials so I can spend quality time with my spouse, fur-babies and travelling. Following your blog has helped a lot! I have been helping my family declutter their homes as well, and so many truck loads have gone. It does feel great to see the progress and how good it feels – but at the same time, depressing knowing how much stuff there still is.
As a new convertie to minimalism, I love this blog. I am still learning and have yet to see any actual fiscal savings of minimalsim, but the sheer joy of getting ride of useless thing makes me feel so amazing.
*rid
Joshua,
I’ve been seeing your posts on Facebook and it’s given me a lot of inspiration. I’ve been decluttering my home room by room but there is one area I find very difficult…the kids. I have 4 children, ages 12-5 and every time I talk about ditching all the time-sucking devices…xbox, ipads, ipods, etc…they freak! I understand this is a natural reaction, but I have a very real fear that they will resent me. That they will feel like I am punishing them or depriving them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those parents that gives into their every desire. They do chores both in the house and on our farm. We rarely buy anything extra unless it’s a holiday or birthday. They eatn allowance based on how well the complete their chores. But they run to their gadgets every chance they get, and they choose to spend their money on…stuff. More games, more clothes, toys, etc.
I guess I’m just curious if you encountered the same type of thing with your children and how you overcame it?
Amber, I think you’ve found a balance most of us strive for with their kids. You’ve given healthy boundaries and expectations. I hear a sense of failure in you that they still want their electronics, and well, EVERY PARENT ON THE PLANET FEELS THIS WAY!!! LOL!!! I think the goal is balance, not strict adherence to an ideal, and damn, woman, way to go!!! To expect kids to understand this concept at the same level as an adult is unrealistic, and would rob them of an important part of their development. Those iGadgets are part of their world, sadly. But I think with your excellent example, your kids will come to the minimalist mindset on their own, and that is a wonderful gift to give them.
I would suggest not replacing the ipad, game box etc as they break. Ease out of the electronics by example and not using yours during family time. It is hard but doable.
Joshua, I believe there has to be a certain amount of maturity to make a decision to go minimalist. I doubt that you would have been ready in your teens or 20s. IMO, you needed to experience the “other “side first to be motivated. Just my opinion. ????
I joined minimalist.org. and the local meet up group in Seattle is made up exclusively of millenials in their 20s and 30s.
I’m 26, and have been on the road to minimamlism for about a year now. And I already feel I should’ve started earlier. Now I’m expercting baby number 2 and I love how much time I have for my kids. I’d say yes, it’s never to late, but never to early either.
Unless you are born an “old soul”. My 24 year old son has always been a minimalist at heart and most likely will live his life that way. He thinks the American dream is a sad waste of life and resources. I have learned much from him as a I am a pack rat at heart. Love these articles and share them with my son. He could have written many of them himself except that he does not have the wisdom that life experience and being a husband/father brings to the picture. Thanks all for sharing such great wisdom/advice!!!