I find it difficult to admit most of my life was wasted chasing the wrong things. Looking back, it has become increasingly clear how I spent the first 33 years of my life chasing temporal, material possessions. I thought my life would improve as I acquired them.
It was supposed to be the “American Dream.” But I was all wrong.
While my household possessions were not extravagant, they accumulated over years—especially as we moved into larger and larger homes. Each move would result in more rooms to furnish and more empty closets and storage areas to keep our stuff. Fashions changed and thus, we bought new clothes. New technology emerged and we purchased new gadgets. Kids entered our family and with them came toys, gifts, hand-me-downs, and purchases “necessary” to raise them correctly.
Eventually, our possessions began subtly to control our lives. We spent countless hours cleaning, sorting, organizing, repairing, replacing, removing, and maintaining our physical possessions—not to mention all the time we spent on the front end earning the money just to make the initial purchase in the first place.
Our pursuit of material possessions was controlling our checkbook, draining our energy, and robbing us of true, lasting joy.
But then, everything changed.
When I was 33 years old, we began giving away all the possessions in our lives that were not absolutely essential to our purpose and goals. Eventually, our family removed over 60% of our earthly possessions. And we couldn’t be happier. We found more time, money, and energy to pursue the things in life most valuable to us: faith, family, and friends. We discovered far greater fulfillment in life pursuing our passions than we had ever discovered pursuing possessions.
And now, my only regret is that we didn’t pursue simple living sooner—that we wasted so much time, so many years, and so many resources. If I could do life over again, I would have embraced a minimalist life earlier: my teens, my twenties, or as a newly-formed family. As a result, from the very beginning, we would have experienced:
- Less debt.
- Less clutter.
- Less financial obligation and debt.
- More savings.
- More intentionality.
- More presence with others in my life.
- Less need to get ahead at others’ expense.
- More passion.
- More contentment.
The life-giving invitation to minimalism holds benefit for every generation. It is never too late to start no matter what stage of life you are introduced to it. But my life would attest to the fact that today is the best day to begin living with less. And the earlier in life, the better.
HappinessSavouredHot says
I love to read those articles. They motivate me to simplify my life even further. I don’t consider myself a hardcore minimalist, but I’m definitely not attached to material stuff and luxury. There is no clutter (or so little) in my house.
Not only do we have to stop buying, we also have to learn to say “no, thank you”. So many of the things I own were given to me by well-intentioned people who were getting rid of their own stuff… but I didn’t really need those things. I know better now, I don’t accept every “gift”.
I do, however, like money… for activities and projects (e.g. traveling). It’s a work in progress!
Jen says
I am fairly new to this page and have enjoyed reading it. This post really got me, I thought “this is speaking to me, I finally get it- my stuff-itis is running my lfe” I have been (over the last several months) trying to get rid of things by selling by I am totally overwhelmed by the time and energy its taking just to get rid of stuff. I need a nudge/permission/etc to just GIVE the stuff away, selling its just taking waaaaay to long and I am losing momentum. But I want the cash for emergency funds. Conflicted!!!
Angela says
Take one day at a time. I am very new to minimalism and every minimalist that i have read says the same thing. It is a journey, you wont declutter in one day. Check out Joshua’s weekend reads. This is where i have found several other minimalist some of which have their plans of action on how they started to declutter. Good Luck to you. You can do it!
Donna says
You’re right it is taking me a long time to declutter but it took me even longer to create the mess..
tina says
Just donate it. You’ll soon save enough for emergency funds by not shopping =)
Michelle says
I totally agree, I’m 34 now and began the transition to minimalism at the same age you did, 33. I wish I had done it sooner, but am thankful that I realized the benefits of less when I did. Once I come out the other side of my debt it will have all been worth it. I guess I just had to learn the hard way…but I hope that it made me a better person.
B says
I can fully appreciate your thoughts on this ……….we were in the same boat until….we started travelling/working overseas. Being too expensive to ship & not worth storing, we sold virtually everything we couldn’t fit into several suitcases. Since returning to N.America, we’ve managed to keep ‘stuff’ to a minimum………..not easy with a 9 year old in tow!
bhp
Stefen Trelling says
I couldnt agree more. I came home yesterday to my beautiful house. Closets full of clothes, half still with tags. KidsClosets and Cupboards all jam packed and sink full of dirty dishes. Laundry baskets all full and machine running every day. Blu-ray disks and CDs everywhere, watched and discarded like old newspapers. Bored and exhausted faces. Bills stacking up. Empty bank account, and I make good money but its spent before its even made. Fancy new car is just another car now, but payments didn’t go away when the “new car smell” wore off.
I wanted to get garbage bags and throw it all away. I want to leave my life it has become a consumerist prison. I want minimalism so bad I almost cry sometimes. My family will not survive the transition though. My wife will leave, she wants “the life” and I just want my life back. Perhaps our future is apart because I cannot keep going like this.
Donna says
Oh boy I feel like you I actually have cried when one day during a regular duty of housecleaning I was literally walking in a circle with stuff in my hands not knowing where to place this stuff….I have been on this path to simplify and I’ve done well but not where I want to be….my new year resolution is to try this minimalist idea one day at a time baby steps….
Paula says
I feel your pain Stefan. I too was in a similar situation. I feel as if I have been searching for something in my life for a long time. I feel stuck and unable to pursue my dreams and live my life on my terms because I am overwhelmed with stuff and demands etc. I make attempts to de-clutter and simplify but it is always short lived. A band-aid really on a much larger problem. I have set a goal to really take minimalism seriously and start in the new year. I feel it is the answer to alot of my issues. I wish you well.
Sharon Chisholm says
Stefan, I really feel for you. We have been caught up in wanting “that life” for so long and after a while it really does begin to eat you up. Thankfully both my husband and I are on the same page (albeit me much more slowly) and are working towards a less cluttered life where we (and our children) value the time we spend together more than the things we own. Whether or not you decide to go through this transition, I guess the question you may ask yourself is “am I more important to my wife than the stuff is?”. Whilst the answer may turn out to be “no”, you absolutely deserve to have your life back.
misty henry says
Thats sounds pretty rough. She may not take it all in one huge move but if you do small transitions then she may work through it with you. Focus on one thing at a time and then after awhile slowly bring in something else. Do not give up!
tina says
Perhaps you could reach a compromise..
Queen Mary says
Joshua. You are 33 years old. “most of your life?” Hubris of youth. Then again, whatever it takes. Meanwhile, why did it seem empty spaces had to be filled? What of those who had less than you did? Did it not seem that some of what you had could be shared? Our kids went through their toys every year to donate toys to charity to make room for new toys from Santa and our church adopted a family with 5 kids, twins right between my kids’ ages — they were ours. My kids believed in Santa and the Easter bunny, but had no conflict picking out special things for their adopted siblings — even if they didn’t get as much from Santa or the Easter bunny. I’ll never forget my 5 year old’s face when, concerned about his expectations, I pointed out that his Easter basket wasn’t going to have as much stuff in it as all the stuff he was picking for William’s and maybe William would be suspicious the Easter bunny didn’t bring it. My son looked up at me like I was nuts and said, “Mom, this is a SPECIAL Easter basket!” I said “OK,” and turned away as my eyes overflowed and I cried. When my kids were 9 and 7 and serving dinner in a homeless shelter they came in and demanded milk because there were children to serve. At 27 and 25 they remain centered.
Karla McEvoy says
I’m with you! I wish I had started my simplicity journey much sooner. I was introduced to the principals back in the mid 1990s (when I was in my twenties). I was curious about the ideas, but kept striving to have all of the stuff that seemed to be part of the growing “American Dream.” It took me a long time to realize that accumulating stuff wasn’t making me happy and that some of my stuff was actually draining me of my time, energy and money. I started simplifying four years ago and am so grateful I finally made the change.
Faith says
Don’t regret not starting earlier– because of your mistakes you now have the wisdom to share with the rest of us how we can live more simply and be happier as a result. Without blogs like yours, I wouldn’t have the luxury of knowing I want to live a simpler life at my young age. Blogs like yours have shared experiences with me that I never would have known were an option– so thank you!
Eva says
When I read this I started thinking about what was the initial and fundamental meaning of the “American dream”. I’m not american, I haven’t even been on your continent. I must therefore have an idea about this famous dream that are much affected by american TV shows, movies and that cultural part of the US that has spread over the world and mixed with local culture.
I was thinking…what did new americans really see in this dream from the beginning of your history and then about one hundred years ago? I mean, the “American dream” must have looked much different throughtout the years. Perhaps a new “American dream” is emerging right now? Perhaps you and many other minimalists of different kinds and talents are important parts of this change? .
Jan says
You are right! The american dream of 100 years ago is not the same as it is today. 100 years ago, hardly anyone had a house they could call their own-that was part of the American Dream. Owning a house! Now a-days, kids assume they will own a house without putting in the work that my parents or even I had to. I love owning a house, but it doesn’t own me. That is where the balance comes in, like using money but not loving money so much that it obscures all other relationships. I try to have balance-if I bring something into the house-something else has to go out. If I don’t wear something for a year, I put it in a box. If I don’t go looking for it for another year-it is gone! Balance.
Linda says
You are very perspective. Our clutter seems to be a “first world” problem.
Coco says
Lucky for me I started this journey at age 21 (2 years in and still a work in progress) but with 3 kids and one on the way it isn’t always easy, but I am very thankful I had my awakening young and that I didn’t have any more years of accumulation to deal with.