“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Whenever I have opportunity to speak on the benefits of minimalism, I allow time at the end for some question and answer with the participants. I believe strongly the journey of minimalism is a personal journey. And as a result, I always expect there to be unique, specific circumstances in the audience which could not possibly have been addressed from upfront.
And while each setting, venue, and audience vary from presentation to presentation, the first few questions from any audience are nearly identical. Depending on who I call on first, I will receive one of these questions: What about my sentimental items and family heirlooms? What about my books? What about my kids’ toys? My husband/wife will never go along with this idea, what should I do with their clutter?
Interestingly enough, each of these questions sound unique. And in some ways they are, they do represent different personalities and/or family dynamics. But there is one great similarity in each of these questions. And it is this similarity that causes too many people to get stuck in their journey towards a clutter-free home.
Notice, each of these questions represent the apparent “toughest” thing in their homes to declutter: books, heirlooms, or clutter from someone else in the family. Each of their minds has quickly raced to the most difficult area in their home to declutter. And the thought of removing those items from their home seems daunting.
My response to their question is always the same: Take heart. You don’t need to start with the hard stuff. Instead, start at the easiest place possible in your home. Build up little victories and momentum by clearing the clutter from your automobile, a drawer, your living room, or maybe your bathroom cupboard. You’ll quickly begin to experience the benefits of living with less… and you’ll know what to do when you finally arrive at the seemingly impossible areas in your home.
A few years back, I ran a marathon. It was the fulfillment of a life dream. I had always wanted to run one as an exercise in self-discipline and focus, but the challenge always seemed to difficult. How would I ever run 26.2 miles? What about that stretch of mile 20 to mile 26? Where would I find the mental strength to run through the “wall” as I neared the end?
The fear of running 26.2 miles kept me from even trying.
That was, until I picked up a book titled, Run Your First Marathon. While I ultimately found conversations with other marathon runners to be a bit more helpful in my training, this book by Grete Waitz provided me with all the motivation to get started. Specifically, it was the training guide that motivated me the most. It read:
- Day 1: Run 1 mile.
- Day 2: Rest.
- Day 3: Run 1.5 miles.
- Day 4: Rest.
I found great motivation in this training plan. You see, I knew I could run one mile – that was an easy step. I even knew I could probably run two miles… and that would get me all the way through almost the whole first week. Suddenly, I stopped worrying about miles 20-26.2 and I just stayed focused on accomplishing what I knew I could accomplish. Ultimately, the lessons I learned while running 1, 2, and 5 miles prepared me to run 10, 12, 14. And the lessons I learned running 10, 12, and 14 miles prepared me to run 18, 20, and eventually 26.2.
So go ahead. Start your decluttering journey with the easiest step – just pick one drawer. And leave your toughest questions for mile 20. You’ll get there when you are ready.
About Joshua Becker
Thanks for the encouragement! I am seeing results! Wide open space in my rooms, space in my cupboards and closets. Saving only what I really appreciate , purging everything else. This started out in a semi-panic, preparation for a major move & downsizing. Now it is becoming freeing and enjoyable. Soon I will actually know exactly what I own, the daily posts fire me up to haul more OUT the door. The Impending move is shrinking in scale. Feeling great, thank you-thank you!
We are struggling at home to get our 9 & 11 year old children (mostly our youngest…our strong-willed child) on board with helping to pick up their things and with small household chores. We’ve tried charts, reward systems, etc… They just don’t seem to work. Anyhow, I’ve told our kids if they don’t want to do their share then we would need to part with things (which we really needed to anyhow…not just their stuff, but ours, too) to make our lives easier…especially mom’s (mine). I have purged our home many times before in the past, but this time was different with the lack of help from our kids. I recently began purging multiple rooms and literally started piling stuff into our guest room to purposely create a disaster area. I haven’t finished purging yet, but it was enough mess to, hopefully, teach our kids a lesson. Just a couple of days ago, I showed them the room and calmly said, “This is what our home would look like if we never parted with anything or picked up after ourselves. Is this how you guys really want to live?” They both responded with a no. I’m hoping their eyes are opened a bit. I plan to go through our house again in March to see what else can go. I’m tired of the extra work and I’m hoping our kids will learn to respect their things more (mostly our 9 yr old) and that we all can be more mindful of what we bring into our home.
P.S. I’m a marathoner, too. Running helps to keep me sane. :)
As of January 26, and after a clutterbug roommate moved out of my house, I can finally enjoy my wide open spaces and beautiful hardwood floors! I am a true minimalist, and living amongst someone else’s stuff was extremely stressful to say the least! Best of luck to everyone on their journey to a clean & clutterfree home – let the beauty of your home shine through! My thanks to Joshua for your continued articles of inspiration! Signed, Happy Again????
I inherited vintage pieces of clothing from my mother when she entered the nursing home and she asked that I ‘do something’ with them. My solution was a memory quilt wall hanging placed in a shadowbox with additional pieces of jewelry, baby shoe, pictures, etc. added as well. The vintage clothing covered from my 2 great-grandmothers thru my 2 wedding dresses. Also asked for pieces of clothing from my children and their children. Love the results. Tried to add a photo but could not.
What has helped me enormously was finally coming to the conclusion that my grown children don’t want my used, outdated stuff. They want to buy new things from Ikea and Target for their apartments and homes. Back in the day, we started adulthood with the stuff from our parents basements and closets. It doesn’t seem to happen like that much anymore, so I no longer need to save old dishes, towels, etc. Lots of trips to the donation center! It’s been very exhilarating to pare down to only what I need and love!
We recently moved and downsized which involved tons of books being donated to friends, church, and Goodwill. While I love my Kindle I totally love the touch and feel of the printed page. I have had some books since elementary school and own some really old books, some printed in German. The 3 bookcases of them that fill our house is part of the décor that I love and though I don’t plan on ever owning more than what they will hold I enjoy them because of the way they look and feel and because being surrounded by books is something that makes me feel good. The Kindle provides a way to keep from adding more clutter to the house and still reading great new books. To each his own in the battle to declutter but to some books are décor, comfort and style.
Great article! I love a clutter-free home, but my boyfriend is a total pack rat and his home is cluttered beyond my wildest imagination. I am having a very difficult time with it because, well, imagining “life” in a cluttered home makes me feel tense and just yucky. We have had talks about it already and he is on board to make an attempt to declutter, and I have volunteered to dive in with him. This aricle gives me hope and practical steps to help him feel less intimidated. One box/drawer/inch at a time!
I uncluttered all the easy and obvious stuff first. Then I prayed to God to reveal what else needs to leave my home. It is amazing how stuff that was difficult a couple months ago is easy when He decides the time is ripe. This cycle keeps repeating itself and I live in a serene environment. I would never go back to other way…
Everyone’s comments are so Inspiring. I started this process with a “small thing”. Our daily dishes. I’m the only person who drinks coffee in our family so why did I have 10 coffee mugs?!. Now we have 5 (number of people in our family) of everything: plates, forks etc and 1 coffee mug. I used to hate doing dishes because we kept using all of the dishes we had, now we quickly wash and reuse. The impact is huge. My second step was a book shelf that held books that were meaningless. Since the shelf looked nice I kept everything. Now I emptied it and it has backyard items (sun block, lanterns, paints/toys for the kids etc) so much more functional! My third was towels. The biggest thing will be clothes. I agree with so many who wrote that they don’t want their children having to deal with their stuff when they pass. I decided to re purpose my wedding dress. I used the material to make a communion veil for my daughter and am also going to make chriatmas ornaments with it. One step at a time is key and try to do a complete step because you will fell the difference and its freeing!!!
When I read a great book I send it to my sister who lives interstate or lend/give it to one of my friends. She sometimes sends me ones of hers. I still know that my books are out there somewhere and I am sharing the enjoyment. I write my name and phone number and sometimes a quote. My books travel all over.
Thank you for your inspiring blog! I have recently started decluttering, and just by decluttering the entrance, the kitchen and the dining area, I feel I have more time with my kids after work, because I don’t have to clean up all the time. The living room is next, and this weekend, I will be starting the 333 project. I was married to a hoarder, and although I was very sad when he ended the marriage, I am glad to get rid of so many things I never wanted or needed in the first place.
Best wishes from Germany!
Every time I walk by my china cabinet I tell it “your day is coming”!!!! Feels so good! Twelve coats went out of my house today! Why on earth would anyone ever need twelve coats? The majority of them had not seen the light of day in years!
Love reading the opposing views, no where does it say to throw precious items, but what may be precious to you Maybe a burden to others.
Love the idea about taking a picture of the item that is important to your memories. It was so much easier parting with them.
I had a number of items (less than 50) that belonged to either of my two grandmothers and my mom – all deceased. I faithfully kept these things, even though their style was not my own and I seldom, if ever, used them. Finally got to the point where I moved across state and into a small home. I offered these items to my children first – for sentimental reasons, if they wanted them, then asked friends and finally just packed them off to St. Vinnie’s because they have several “vintage” sales throughout the year. I do not miss the, don’t feel guilty and have lovely memories of seeing these objects in grandmas’ homes and in my childhood home. And if I end up with Alzheimer’s. these objects will have no meaning for me. I’ve never been a hoarder/got to keep it just in case type person, always been organized and neat and now the icing on the cake is being a minimalist. Got rid of surplus coffee cups; kept 4 plain white that match my basic dishes (4 place settings only) and kept 4 black mugs for tea. That’s it. Granddaughter (2) comes to play and pulls out the cloth basket that fits under the coffee table. All her toys are in there; but her favorite thing to do – search the house for all the spheres that kitty plays with. I’ve been searching for something to “validate” my feelings about stuff and minimalism is it. Thank you. If I could shrink my 880 sq. ft. house I would.
I am definitely working on this and have been for a couple of months and have done the easier projects first and it is very encouraging and my goal is on a drawer or closet at a time but I also have been purging as I decorate for Christmas… don’t just put up the tree but go through the excess or unwanted ‘stuff’ and get rid of it or donate as the season changes…that does take time. Even if it is small I do something every day and in the spring there will be bigger projects (like the garage) to finish from the fall YIKES.. Thanks for your daily post Joshua.. I try not to miss reading them because it keeps me going especially over the Christmas season as there are soooo many flyers that come in but I read what you said about not looking at what you don’t have but be grateful for what we already have (too much)!!!
Practice the 15 minutes a day declutter. It really helps to segment your time. I like my regular books. Yes, I have cleaned some out but can’t go entirely Kindle or Nook or whatever ( use an IPad ). Taking online courses and find I need the actual book to mark and read, I must be too old school. Also, don’t like to fall asleep to electronic reading. So books are going to be around in my house.
My biggest problem are still things passed down from family. I have seven children, four are still at home and I’m never quite certain what to keep.
I’ve been contemplating the “tiny house” concept for a few years now; and now that our kids are married, big dogs have passed, and we are MT nesters, looking more seriously at this lifestyle. I love the de-clutter syndrome and work on it everyday. Why wait to bless your family, friends, or the needy when you’re gone ?
books are the most difficult to get rid of. I dont want to see bookstores dissapear. I like the feel of a book as i turn the pages. I have a nook and put books on there too. But I read my real books more. I have downsized on the paperbacks and am planning on doing that again. But the hardcovers are a treasure.
Thank you, Joshua! I made my first attempt at paring down my shoes today….shoes are my chocolate. While I made significant progress by donating almost 50 pair of shoes, but I was left looking at a rack of about 75 shoes still remaining. I felt so disappointed with myself…simply defeated. After reading the article, I am feeling a little better knowing that my quest today was just the beginning. I am determined to bring myself to a happier state and rid myself of unnecessary clutter that I have accumulated in all areas of my life…today was just one of my first steps…still working on my first mile. Thank you for the motivation!
Remember when we used to have one or two pairs of shoes? That’s no longer the norm. But we did fine with just one or two, years ago.
I was thinking about this recently in terms of food. People say ‘I could never be a vegetarian/vegan, I love X too much!’ So, don’t give that up. Give up something easier and see how it feels. Go from there. So, in minimalism, ‘I could never get rid of X’ doesn’t mean you can’t get rid of other, less important things. And who knows? Next year, you may find it’s not as important to you anymore to own X, to eat X, to keep up with the Joneses. These journeys to arbitrary labels are ongoing, and can be taken at any pace, and stopped at any point. It’s personal. It’s about what improves every individual life. Thanks for the reminder!
Excellent post! I find that because my home is very simple and clutter free that I CAN keep sentimental items from my childhood, my kid’s art and writings, and a huge bookcase filled with my well loved books. Getting rid of all that other meaningless clutter I had before allows plenty of space for the things that have meaning for me and the things I love. Living simply and with minimalism as a goal does not need to look like a sterile white room with a white table and 4 white chairs with nothing on the walls. It just means getting rid of all the non-essential items that are blocking the way to what really matters to you. :)
I love this, it’s exactly how I started, by taking the junk which was more of a hindrance than help and moving on progressively to things like clothes which didn’t fit me anymore and then the books no longer read before the dreaded academic notes which were all digitised anyway. I have a lot of heirlooms but it’s nice to accept that it could be a while before these get reviewed and even then if they do stay knowing that’s okay simply because reducing the clutter and entering into minimalist living is such a personal experience. Great post Josh!
Erin that was the most profound thing I’ve read in weeks. Unfortunately you have caused many readers to scratch their heads with confusion at your attempt to mass induce a little cognitive dissonance about this otherwise innocuous subject. You are smarter and more thoughtful than 95% of the people who read this stuff.
While agreeing we all have too much and much of it is unnecessary, I have two fundamental concerns.
This corporate culture which has relentlessly pushed materialism, simultaneously relegates family connections and traditions and much else to the dustbin. It’s always urging “starting over” each year – new colors, new house design, new clothes, new self. One’s earlier connections (especially to family), or home arrangement, or clothing, are all treated as disposable, an embarrassment, or or a burden. (“It’s not your father’s automobile,” “It’s not your mother’s dishwashing detergent,” i.e. their product, in being different from what is used by those who brought you up, is good) Even the self is seen as something to be changed out. Style is everything, whatever “style” means. Something in this de-cluttering feels like a cultural rejection of caring about one’s roots, about history, about family. It’s not recycling what has value or even recognizing what does, but tossing it. Baby clothes and toys saved for grandchildren can save family a fair amount of money, reconnect adult children to their own childhoods and their parents, reminding them of how much love and care they received. For adult children who have lost connection with their parents, such items, filled with love, bring them a new awareness that they are a part of culture, a tradition. And in seeing that cotton clothes from the 70s are all organic, one also has a deeper sense of that time, and how much needs to be fixed now.
The second concern is with books. While it would be nice to be able to declutter all one’s books, and have only a single device, not all books are digitally produced, and even if they were, it means that some corporate entity would control what will exist, so what can be read, and what can be censored. The Church burned the library at Alexandria – so much of humanity’s accumulated knowledge was lost – and it also censored out part of the ancient texts. They took out what Asian religions teach – that the mind and body are connected, and that people have the ability to affect things with their feelings (hearts) (what Masuru Emoto is showing now with messages from water or what Gregg Braden is showing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmMNlmn1DPc). A home library can a very unique treasure of material, not unlike the biodiversity of plants that some people work hard to preserve – whether it contains books on traditional healing, or a personally built collection of a group’s history, or books of maps, or old children’s books, or textbooks, or a broad or narrow collection of art books or poetry books. I read once about very poor people in North Africa whose families were tasked with preserving texts for hundreds of years, a very great honor. Thanks to them, not all was lost at Alexandria because some texts were held in private homes, in caves, and are a gift to humanity. Do we really want corporations, through digital patents, to make the decisions about what is available for us to read and what material they would gladly wipe out (perhaps Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the US, or books criticizing US foreign policy or Monsanto, or texts of indigenous healing or natural health or of Aryuvedic or Chinese medicine about what plant material cures diseases)? A family’s book collection can grow from generation to generation, the work of the family’s imagination and knowledge.
We see we need to grow our own food because it can’t be left in corporate hands. While it seems okay to toss out processed food and cheap books, don’t we (and not just corporate funded libraries) need to keep control of organic seeds and unique collections and rare books? Buddhists monks like very simply but they are guardians of books and art work, both of which were immediately destroyed by the Chinese when they took over Tibet, in order to destroy the culture, by detaching it from its knowledge base.
When we declutter private libraries, what are we doing?
Finally, something in decluttering is missing the distinctiveness of objects, that are not dead things with no meaning, but are alive with history and significance. It is good to move away from the empty materialism of this culture but in the process, how do we make sure we are not losing hold of the texture and history of things, which give heart to family, culture and meaning? How do we not make history and culture the next disposable, items?
These are the things I struggle with as I declutter. My mom kept all of our cards and I just went through my 4 yo birthday cards with her last weekend (I am 52). It was fun and I kept my doll from when I was 5 that my granddaughter enjoy playing with. Many of the granddaughters took things from my mom’s house. But how many heirloom quilts does one person need? My grandmother, husbands grandmother and my mother all quilted. And what to do with all the photographs? How many do you need to keep? I kept some of my mom’s holiday decorations that were from my childhood and have gotten rid of some of the newer ones. And my husband and I have agreed that if we take something in we need to give something away. I can only use so many quilts and so I need to let someone who doesn’t have one use it. I will keep the books I cherish and part with those that aren’t as important to me so that others can use them.
I think that minimalism and decluttering aren’t about just blindly getting rid of things. You should keep the things that are meaningful for you and your family.
Most of us, though, have a ton of stuff we’ve accumulated and don’t even care about.
Even regarding my books (and I love real books, the heft, the smell….), I’ve been trying hard to buy only books I know I’ll want to read multiple times or use as a resource, and to sell or donate the books that have no personal meaning and I won’t read again.
I have a small collection of books I’m done with but am saving for my son when he’s older. Not that he couldn’t just check them out from the library, but I hope there will be some connection knowing they were mine.
I think that’s where good judgment has to come into play. Do all the things you own have equal value? No. Can you take better care of the high-value things, and enjoy them more, if you winnow out the chaff?
Good points, but also:
1. You can save books on your own cards or other devices, which are not controlled by companies. I read PDF books all the time–on my Nook, Kindle app, phone, or computer.
2. There is nothing my grandmother has that I want. Everything she owns would be a poor substitution for her and my memories of growing up with her.
3. People used to pass stories down verbally. Maybe we should connect to one another without stuff. I can take these stories with me anywhere. In Civil Disobedience, Thoreau sits in jail displaying the difficulty of imprisoning the mind. We can be stripped of all things physically, but as long as we are in good health, we have our thoughts.
For me this is something like being a window washer on the Empire State building;’ by the time you get finished it is time to start again. So how do you gain ground and keep it? Particularly in a family setting where you have shared space…
Steve, I’ve been struggling with the same question I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but even with the two of us and our 5 kids that are still at home, it’s working. Maybe this will help for you….
1. I give 15 minutes a day to “mindful” decluttering some part of my physical environment, either at work or home or in the car
2. The wife gives 15 minutes a day to mindful decluttering at home
3. Each of the 5 kids gives 15 minutes a day to decluttering either their rooms or the common areas. They alternate between the two so their rooms are actually starting to show some progress and the common areas are too.
By the way…for the kids, what I’ve noticed is that they have very subtly moved into the side of keeping things more tidy so they don’t have to do the same work twice if it’s not necessary.
Maybe that will work for you too. Cheers!
Thank you for this!
One thing that’s helped us is the “one in, one out” rule. Even kids can learn that if they want a new toy, one will have to be donated to charity. On a bigger scale, just before Christmas and his birthday, I remind my son that he needs to clean out his room so he’ll have room for new stuff.
Since I’m still in the decluttering process, I often get rid of two items for each new one.
For me it is to stop bringing stuff in. Stop buying it. Stop accepting it from well-meaning relatives and friends. Also go through the mail immediately and through junk away and deal with all that daily. Otherwise you have a pile that grows!
I too find decluttering is a process. Small steps sometimes giant leaps other times. Some things are harder, some easier. Amazing how momentum builds the free-er I become. At the end of the day the results are always the same, I love space, I love less. I’ve never missed a single thing I move on to other places.
I’m appreciative of all the bloggers and commenters who keep sharing their stories. It keeps me going.
Another great post….and a super reminder that the journey of minimalism (and yes it is a journey) is a bit by bit process…and that there is no where to arrive…only a growing appreciation of what is really important in our lives. Keep up the good work and constant reminders of that… And for anyone who still wonders if they are a minimalist…here is my own definition on my blog asking “Are you really a minimalist–and five questions to find out.” http://smartliving365.com/?p=1375#more-1375
This is absolutely the way to go, whether it’s a room, a whole house, or in my case, a storage unit. For almost 3 years, I avoided the issue and this year, I just started at the easiest place – the front! One box at a time, one trip to Salvation Army at a time, one blog post at a time.
Taking care of our parents possessions after my father-in-law’s death led my husband and I to look at our possessions in a whole new light. Not only did our parents spend time and money buying and maintaining possessions, but we have in turn had to spend much time, effort and money to sell or give away what remains. What was once considered “valuable” is a burden. Now when we go through our own possessions we ask ourselves how much it is worth to hang onto something. What’s the price we are willing to pay? There are definitely some things we choose to keep, but asking this question has simplified the process greatly. We definitely have a new sense of freedom with every object that is “released” (as we say) to a new home.
We are doing the same thing now since my parents are down sizing and moving to an apartment from a 4 bedroom house with a full basement and they have a
“mountain” of stuff. It makes me want to get rid of my stuff too. I want to be free of clutter. Thanks for the thought- provoking questions.
My parents are also downsizing and moving from their home of 36 years. My Dad is a shopaholic and have collected so much stuff, many still in the box they came in. I feel so sad now that he is trying to give the stuff away and all I see is the amount of money wasted. Financially they could do with the money now. This has pushed me further into not buying anything I don’t need anymore as I never want to be in the position of having to find a new home for my stuff.I have been trying to live a minimalist life for years now with slow progress. This is a real kick back to reality for me.
We had the same experience this summer. My mother-in-law died, and it was amazing how much stuff she had accumulated in her tiny apartment. My folks are in the process of moving back to Michigan. They lived in a tiny one-bedroom mobile home in Florida. My mother has so much craft junk. They sold some before she came, too. My Dad is still in Florida trying to get the trailer ready to sell. He had a garage sale, too…and sold some more stuff.
I have a four bedroom house. One handicapped daughter. A son who has moved out and another daughter who will move out soon. I am sending kitchen items with them, plus small appliances. I still have more than enough. I don’t want to leave a huge job for them to do.
Yesterday, I cleaned out three drawers in my dresser. Today, I will tackle the toughest drawer.
getting an elderly person to get rid of stuff seems impossible . If you are 90 , you don’t need a 30 year old bicycle , a 20 year old whatever . its hard to get them to part w anything .
It’s like eating an elephant… one bite at a time. :)
Unless your vegetarian! :-p
Lol! Then it’s like eating that rowboat sized zucchini that you missed while harvesting for the last two weeks!
I decluttered a bathroom drawer today! Yes!!! I´ll go for the shelf and the other drawer tomorrow, you know, 1,5 miles :)
Perfect. I love Tuesday nights at my condo because it’s the night we can take stuff to the trash room for bulk trash pick-up the next day. I look through my apartment all week eying what I can take down each week. I’m also having a hard time starting with decluttering because I see so much to do but not enough time to do it all. So I’m only committing myself to do something each week – not each day – which takes the pressure off, but I’m still seeing results.
Great motivation Joshua.
The first place to start is in your heart! Find the faith that will empower you to do anything. Know that it is a righteous thing to set you life straight, and divest yourself of excess. After that, everything is “small stuff”. Just get the ball rolling and as you build new habits things will take care of themselves… momentum will build!
Thanks again for helping us all keep our focus!
This reminds me of a post I wrote earlier this week (http://wp.me/p2fSH9-bK). The key to accomplishing anything is starting. Unless you start, your goal will be little more than a distant dream.
Terry, I’d like to read your blog about getting started but I get an error message that the server can’t be found.
Well the other thing about starting to simplify with the easy things is that some people may find a state of “good enough” while barely brushing through the sentimental items and managing to give their family’s clutter adequate storage or banished to their own space.
Wasn’t it this blog that was talking about not making minimalism into a competition? and how some people have to regard a well-managed collection as one item to even think about the 100 things challenge.
And any organizer / minimalist / etc type that points to my books is going to metaphorically bloody themselves without gaining any battleground. Fiction books are okay on the e-reader except for pricing and transferability issues, the how-to books are easier to use in dead-tree format.
I have been going through my books and have used the kindle approach too, but only if I could borrow them or get them for free. I refuse to buy another book for kindle that I now own (that is wasteful) And there are several reference books that I won’t part with, but gave 10 boxes of books to my daughter’s library for a book sale! Woo hoo! I still have a lot of books, but one step at a time. And I will go through them again down the line. Thanks for the encouragement. We are doing it, but I am struggling with what to do with all the stuff we have inherited from deceased relatives still.
I had also found my home with lots of items from deceased relatives, my mother being the hardest to get rid of. However, I have learned some valuable lessons also. First what my mother treasured (tea sets) I do not necessarily treasure. Lesson just because I love it doesn’t mean my family will when I am gone. Second lesson: she wouldn’t want me hanging on to something out of obligation. My mother was very giving and woul rather I give it to someone else who would enjoy instead of being boxes up somewhere. You can’t keep someone alive by holding on to their things is what I have learned. You are not dishonoring them nor are you giving them away. They remain a part of you and you have your memories!
I just had an epiphany. I don’t see how “only keep things you love” fits in with the whole minimalism and decluttering and being an aware consumer. I think that as long as the item is good quality (won’t fall apart on you if you breathe on it) and isn’t repellent to you in some way, you might as well keep it.
Why? Because if everyone says they will only keep things they love, and then they get rid of everything else, that means there’s an awful lot of junk out there in circulation not being kept by people who would rather buy something they love which is new and recently made, than hold on to something that isn’t new but that works perfectly well.
People used to pass things on to their children so that the adult children would not have to acquire the things in question all over again. A mother who passes on her fine china to her daughter, has a daughter who will never have to buy a fine china set. In this scenario it only makes sense to get rid of the china set if you are absolutely sure you will never use a fine china set. Otherwise you’re wasting resources to get yourself a brand-new set and sending the one your mother bought off to gather dust in a thrift shop somewhere.
And what is this business of “loving things” anyway? You don’t love things, you love people.
The “only keep what you love”, in my mind fits perfectly into a minimalist mindset. I have to live with my things for my entire life. I would prefer not to waste my time or space on “just in case”, and to only pass along items my children might treasure because there are so few and they were valued and used, instead of unopened boxes of things they’ve never seen.
wonderful thought.
One thing I do is to take a Picture of an item that is sentimental and then send it out into the universe for someone else to enjoy. Looking at the picture will bring back the same memories and feelings without the clutter!
Melanie and other fans of e-readers – If you haven’t checked out your public library website for ebooks, you should do that. Many (or most) public libraries have a collection of ebooks and other downloadables that you can borrow with your library card. Sure beats paying for them! Plus using the library for e-materials supports your public library in being funded and delivering great service in all formats! I’m a library director in Pittsburgh and our system is very strong with e-materials.
Thank you Joshua. I have been decluttering for a while now but the principle you laid out in this post actually helped me with another project I have to accomplish at work. Nothing to do with decluttering – but everything to do with *starting*. Thanks.
I’m working on my book dilemma at this very moment. I’ve decided to go the Kindle route (though I’ve yet to get one. I refuse to buy one and will only have one if I get it as a gift.) Any book that has a Kindle version or has a suitable replacement (textbooks, reference books, etc.) have all been listed for sale on eBay. I’m left with about five books that I’ll probably end up selling as soon as I decide I don’t really “need” them either. This is the last of my “clutter” and what I’m left with are only the things that provide utility in my life. It feels good. I’m so happy that I’ve been on this path for the last few years (it’s taken me that long to really adopt the lifestyle completely…and I still find myself going on consumer binges on occassion.) I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s just stuff…sentimental or not…and that keeping an object locked away in a box in the closet provides absolutely no purpose.
I’ll be excited to see just how little I actually have once I begin packing my belongings for my move to South America next month. I have a feeling I’ll be surprised by how far I’ve come in this journey.
Steven, my husband is an avid reader. We moved from a big house to one half the size. I had to get rid of tons of his paperbacks before we moved. For his birthday, I got him a Nook. He loves it. Says it’s the best gift he ever got. The lack of clutter is a big help for us. He loves those big Presidential biography books and they cost less on the Nook — and I don’t have to worry about where to put each new book! You can get magazine subscriptions too and surf the net so he can read his email. It was one of the best things I’d done in an effort to have less stuff in our house (and especially our bedroom where less clutter is even more important).
I agree…the Nook Tablet is by far the best purchase I’ve made in a long time. Doesn’t take up a lot of room, but does it pack a lot of punch for enjoyment! No more books or magazines taking up room on shelves. I have my calendar online and set up as my home page on the Nook. And I love the convenience of checking my email and facebook. And Words With Friends….let’s just say that’s a fun pasttime for me!
Buying a Kindle was one of the most de-cluttering experiences of my life. I got rid of more than 1000 books and now have actual empty shelves.
I’ve been ereading for about 2 years and I love it. I also switched to the library for those that I can’t get electronically. I love not having books everywhere! This one was a hard one for me but I started looking at all the space issues not to mention what the cost was. So now I have a handful of hard copies left to read and under 10 of my favourites that I will keep. The ones I have left to read will go in the work lunchroom – I find if I think of it as sharing the joy I’ve just read with someone else, it helps.
Believe me, if I can let go of books, you can too! I come by pack ratism naturally…my father loves to keep stuff. I almost cried when I threw out my old single mattress from childhood years ago. But it gets better with time…it’s only material stuff, I still have the memories! And, sites like Goodreads help me keep track of what I have read.
if i bought all the books i read, my house would be a firetrap of books, yet, it still is a firetrap of clutter.
Thank God for libraries!
Amen to that. Great for seeing films (on DVD) that you only want to see just the once!!!
I feel your pain, Steven. My house is a library of sorts. I have books everywhere. And while I used to be an E-reader snob, I am slowly shedding my prejudice. More recently, I’ve been seeing the benefits of listening to audio books. It is oddly relaxing. More relaxing than when I have a book or Kindle in my hands.
The dilemma is finding it in me to actually dispose of the physical copies of books that I have in my home. Frankly, my chest hurts just thinking about getting rid of them. I probably have a long way to do before I can fully embrace life choice.
Joy – I understand your dilemma perfectly! I love my local library, but I so enjoy owning books – mostly so I can mark in them if it is book club read or a certain sentence or paragraph catches my eye. This is a touch job!
Books..donate them to the library. Let them store them for you..you can always check them out!
Excellent! I just recently started 15 minutes a day of “mindful decluttering” and I’ve been bumping into the exact same feelings and questions you mentioned here. Thanks so much for this post. Little victories day by day, just 15 minutes at a time…that’s a formula for great results