Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, we fail to recognize the little moments, that truly give life its magic.
Today, beloved friends moved out of our neighborhood. There is sadness in our home because of it.
We have lived in our little, suburban neighborhood northwest of Phoenix for the last four years. And our friends have been a part of it from the very beginning. In many ways, we have not known life in Arizona without them.
The similarities between our family and theirs are almost too many to count. They have two kids: a son and a daughter—just like us. Their son is the same age as ours and their daughter is only one year older than our daughter. The boys enjoyed sports and video games and riding their bikes to the neighborhood grocery store. The girls enjoyed arts and crafts, swimming, and hours of conversation.
We attended the same school, the same church, and the same community events. We enjoyed the same activities. We were together for birthday parties, trick-or-treating, Super Bowls, and fireworks on the 4th of July.
More than once, a knock on our door in the evening meant warm cookies from our friends just four houses away. They were generous and hospitable, thoughtful and loving.
We knew the move was coming for months and to be honest, I thought very little of it. I mean, people move, that’s just how it works these days.
But things changed yesterday evening. After saying one final good-bye to his best friend of four years, my 12-year old son’s eyes were tear-filled. And mine quickly became so as well.
Later into the night, I ran by their home like I had a hundred times before on my usual route. But this time, it was empty. And my mind began to reminisce about the time we first met.
It was actually quite unassuming. His 8-year old son was on the play set at a small, local park. My son ran over to play with his “friend from school.” And I sat down on a bench next to his father. We talked about sports, work, and moving into the neighborhood. And the rest, I suppose, is history.
I am thankful today, that in that moment, I chose to let David into my life. It was a small, simple occurrence to engage in a conversation with a stranger. But in the end, it had a profound impact on my life.
I wonder, if at its very heart, minimalism is about questioning what pieces we allow into our life. Our lives are finite and we are met with choices every day about what to allow in. And by definition, allowing in one piece necessitates missing another.
Minimalism seeks desperately to evaluate each and every piece. Does it bring joy, value, purpose, and fulfillment? Or does it distract us from it? The evaluation tends to extend much further than physical possessions.
When we invest all of our energy into pursuing financial gain, we miss opportunity for selfless love.
When we clutter our schedules with purely selfish pursuits, we end up neglecting the family that lives right next door.
When we spend a majority of our finances on material excess, we find little space for generosity.
And when we waste countless hours in the mindless consumption of television or smartphone apps, we may miss the new, life-giving relationship sitting on the bench across the park from us.
Our lives become the sum total of the pieces we allow in. May we be intentional and thoughtful about each. (tweet that)
And all the best to you David and Doreen and family in San Antonio.
Mark Tong says
Hi Joshua – I remember Dr Seuss in these circumstances – to paraphrase don’t be sad it’s over, be happy it was. And great relationships should be the biggest pieces we let in – thanks for the post.
Fiona says
Great post. We too lost good friends like that from two blocks away, some 12 years ago, and sadly, that gap has not been filled. But how much of that is my fault? How many weekends have I spent sorting my stuff and cocooning inside, instead of getting out and meeting the neighbours and making new friends? Last Christmas we hosted a street party and I realised that almost all our neighbours want to be known, and to connect with others nearby. It just takes someone to make the first move.
John P. Weiss says
Splendid post. Much like Marie Kondo’s advice about asking “does this bring me joy?” we must make daily choices. I’m finding more and more that less is more, and that sometimes limiting options can actually free us. I’m sorry your friends moved away but glad you shared your insights!
Cheryl Smith says
What a beautiful tribute to such wonderful friends! The only thing consistent in this life is change, and it is always hard to close a chapter and say good-bye. Though your friendship will be different, I trust God will keep you all close in spirit. Thanks for sharing this…I think every one of us can relate to it on some level.
Kristen says
I absolutely loved this post. Thank you for writing it and for sharing your heart!
Angela Muller says
“The pieces we allow into our lives.” This is one of the most important realizations to living a peaceful life. Unfortunately, it often comes with age, and the wisdom to reflect on what is truly meaningful. Beautiful, beautiful post!
Helena says
I am sorry you are losing the closeness and the fun of having such good friends near you, Joshua.
As a Brazilian transplant and Navy wife I relate so much to your story and the sadness of saying goodbye to friends we love. Fourteen years ago I married my husband and moved to the US. Since then we have moved 7 times, around the globe and back. I come from a culture where we “don’t move” and I enjoy
a history of life-long friendships, so it was tough to be “back on the playground”, trying to connect with new people, make new friends. Still, we have been blessed with wonderful friendships with other families, and yes, it’s hard to see them go after so many moments of laughs, shared experiences, mutual support and the little simple things of daily life. And while we will never replace them we will always cherish their friendship and love wherever we go.
Jeanne says
Beautifully written and so true. Since I’ve been on my minimalism journey, I’ve been very picky about the pieces I choose to let into my life. Still trying to find the right balance especially when it come to relationships.
Christina @ Embracing Simple says
This had me in tears just reading it! Beautiful written reminder to us all, Joshua! I’m sorry to hear your good friends are moving away, but I see it as a great excuse and opportunity to visit San Antonio! :)
Kate says
Thank you for such a beautiful post. It reminded me of some dear “pieces” in my life that need nurturing; time to reprioritize my weekend activities.