Have you ever stood in your attic or basement, decluttering box in hand, motivated to finally make progress decluttering your stuff, but then begin hesitating over actually making decisions?
Maybe it’s a certain category of items (books, hobby supplies, sentimental items). Maybe it’s items that just carry a heavier emotional weight than others. Or maybe you find yourself unsure about decluttering anything and everything.
Well, your situation and response are not unique. The process of removing clutter can be both physically and emotionally draining. But that doesn’t mean you should stay there—stuck.
There may be some items that are more difficult than others to minimize, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on the process—especially if there is a better life available to us after the work is done.
So, to get you started, here are five questions to ask yourself when decluttering feels tough:
1. Does this item align with my present, or am I holding onto it because it was part of my past?
Marie Kondo says it this way, “The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.”
Life is a journey, and the seasons of our lives change continually.
An item that once held great significance or brought great joy might not hold the same value now. Whether it’s a hobby-related item from a pastime you no longer pursue, or mementos from a chapter of your life that has closed, it’s important to evaluate whether these items still have a place in your current and future life.
Holding onto too much of our past can sometimes prevent us from making the most of our present and future. I’m thankful for my past, I’m just not moving in that direction—and neither are you.
If the item no longer aligns with who you are and where you’re heading, perhaps it’s time to let it go.
2. How often do I use or enjoy this item?
The true value of an item lies not in its cost, its rarity, or its ‘potential’ use, but in the enjoyment and value it brings into our life.
If an item sits unused and unappreciated, it’s not contributing value. Even worse, it is taking away from our potential.
So, whether it’s clothes we never wear, gadgets we never use, or books we never read, unused items can take up space and energy. There’s nothing wrong with holding onto a few items that aren’t used regularly, but boxes and boxes of unused things become a drag on our potential.
So, if the item isn’t used or enjoyed regularly, it might not be as valuable to keep as you think.
3. If I were shopping now, would I buy this?
This question can provide a fresh perspective and help us make new, objective decisions.
Imagine you’re at a store, looking at the item for the first time. Would you buy it? If not, why?
This can help us realize that we might be holding onto items due to a sense of obligation, guilt, or the endowment effect, rather than their actual value to us.
If you wouldn’t choose to bring this item into your life today, it might not be worth keeping.
4. Would allowing someone else the opportunity to use this item breathe more life into it?
Think about the book you’ve read and loved, the dress you wore once, or the tool you rarely use. These are all items that could be life-enhancing to someone else.
In fact, the very thing you are struggling to declutter and allowing to collect dust on your shelf may be the very thing someone in your community is praying for—especially when you think of items that can be used by young families with young children struggling to make ends meet.
If you’re not fully utilizing or cherishing something, consider gifting it a new life with someone else. This thought can make letting go easier and more fulfilling.
In this way, decluttering stuff can be about more than just discarding, it’s redistributing for better use of resources.
5. Is the emotional or financial cost of keeping this item worth it?
Every item we own comes with a cost. It could be a financial cost, like maintenance or storage fees, or an emotional cost, like stress or guilt.
It might be a photo album that brings up painful memories, or an expensive item you never use but feel guilty getting rid of.
We often underestimate the mental and emotional burden of clutter—it can drain our energy, distract our attention, and weigh on our minds.
If the cost of keeping the item outweighs its value to you, it might be time to let it go.
Sometimes we want to keep items from a past season of life that we loved… other times we hold on to items from a past season of life that we wish had turned out differently. In either case, the emotional distraction is a wage that we pay every time we see the item. Free yourself.
Like I mentioned earlier, decluttering can be difficult at times. And different people struggle with different categories of possessions to minimize.
And while these five questions may not solve every difficult decision you have to make on your journey to owning less, I believe they form a strong foundation for starting to think differently about your stuff—especially those items that are hard to part with.
Shenaaz says
Repy to Anna’s comment, re free sale Brilliant idea, because it’s often difficult to seek out who needs my clutter
Sharon Gabriel says
Please let readers know that if it’s not cluttering your house and it’s one the wall, it’s adding to the beauty of your home. I took your words to mean to get rid of anything non-essentlal so I even removed wall displays.
I regret that immensely now. My husband’s good sense stopped me from doing the whole house.
Arlene says
I started taking photos of things I was decluttering and texting them to my kids to see if they wanted it. Surprise! Very seldom do they want anything! So that is a big wake up call! But it really helps let go of stuff you think they might want and avoids getting rid of something they do want. Plus they get it now when they can use it and it gets it out of your house. Just a text “do you want this”? – no guilt trips or comments, and move on. This deals with a lot of stuff gradually instead of all at once when you die. If you are saving something of historic value put a note with it of what its value is so your kids know when they clean stuff out.
Deborah says
I did this the last time we moved. It was surprising how little my kids wanted. Very freeing!
Gienne says
If decluttering is the hardest thing you have to face, then you are blessed. Like the shoe company says, Just Do It. It shouldn’t be this hard. Do it, and get on with living a life of value, not sitting in a house full of crap and obsessing about what to do with it. Consider yourself lucky that you were able to indulge every want you ever had at one time or another. Now let people who might really need it have it. Or sell it and give the money to charity.
Derek says
Great post! “So, whether it’s clothes we never wear, gadgets we never use, or books we never read”. For me it’s exercise equipment that no longer is used. About to start selling some stuff.
Justine says
The key is that most of what we hold on to that is not valuable or sentimental to our children will be discarded. It is not fair to leave your children to sort through your clutter. My husband and I have got rid of everything. Only photographs and two small boxes of momentoes remain. It is SO liberating but mostly being kind to the planet and your family.
Paula says
“ It is not fair to leave your children to sort through your clutter” . . . That’s the wake-up call my husband and I needed! It would be overwhelming for our daughter to have to go through everything in our house and figure out what to do with it. She will inherit the house, and we do have a lot of nice things in it that I’m sure she would like to preserve — BUT, it’s time to cut our possessions down to those items we use regularly, and those we value and love! Everything else must go!
Aline r says
Both of my children sell on eBay. My home is full of vintage collectibles and antiques and my daughter said make sure I don’t get rid of anything she’ll be happy to go through it. Everybody’s different.
Pam says
I am also midway de-uncluttering. Thanks.
Alice Rachal says
Yes. That’s exactly right.
Alice says
This was a reply on Judy’s comment.
Barbara Tetley Anderson says
Joshua, this is one of your best, most concise, list of “reasons” I have read! Already copied and on my bulletin board.
Ardys says
This article has really helped me. I’m verging on being stuck at about the halfway point or a bit more…downsizing to a place that is in the process of being built, so while I have dimensions I can’t fully see how the place will look. The thing I have most trouble with are things I like but know I will probably not use. I’m working through them slowly…usually sitting it out or holding it or using it helps make up my mind. Thankfully I have a lot of time on my side. Thank you for this very useful post.
Julie Webb says
They may not throw out all your crap but your kids may agonize over it. Save them the dilemma… Swedish Death cleaning then LIVE!
Judy says
Sorry but when you die your kids are gonna throw all your crap in the rented dumpster in one afternoon. They don’t want your junk. Bottom line they want your house and money. Hard fact but true—- so don’t use the excuse of saving it for them. They will clear out- clean- and put that empty house up for sale asap
Philomena Nicholson says
I totally agree 👍
Anna says
That’s what I think of, but I am still having a hard time dealing with this.
Aline r says
Both of my kids to sell on eBay and they love my vintage collection and antiques that are in my home so that’s not true in my case.