I took my kids to the eye doctor earlier this week—optometrist is the word if I wanted to sound smart.
While in the waiting room, I watched an event unfold. I thought I’d share it with you.
A young child emerged from the examination room followed by the doctor and I assume, the child’s mother. On the other side of the waiting room, sat the child’s father and older brother, I’m guessing somewhere in his early teens.
The older brother, as is typically the case these days, was playing on his phone while awaiting his turn with the doctor. The father flipped through a magazine. Pretty standard stuff.
As the doctor walked toward the father and son, mom and daughter headed off into the showroom to pick out new frames (that’s always the hardest part—picking out new glasses).
When the doctor arrived, the father put down his magazine and turned his attention toward the optometrist to get a summary of the appointment: Nothing to worry about, everything was fine. A slight increase in prescription was recommended, but nothing out of the ordinary.
The father asked a few follow-up questions. His eyes were locked in on the doctor absorbing as much of the conversation as he could.
His son, on the other hand, took a different posture. Throughout the entire interaction, the son continued on his phone—focused on whatever might be drawing the attention of teenage boys these days. He did look up briefly, but I assume only at points in the game that were not important. For the most part, he was involved with his phone.
I wanted to nudge him. I wanted to lean over to the young boy and whisper, “Put down your phone for a second. I know you don’t know the doctor, and the conversation taking place may not affect you, but that is a human being standing right in front of you. And THAT person, whether you know him or not, is more important than your phone.”
It was a memorable moment—the words I wanted to say—not because I blamed the child, or the father, or the doctor, or anyone else. It was memorable because the statement I wanted to whisper wasn’t just about the young boy. The statement was about me—about all of us really.
When my wife walks into the room, do I stop what I’m doing on my phone or computer? I should. Because she is more important than my phone.
When my kids walk into the room, do I stop what I’m doing on my phone? I should. Because they are more important than my phone.
While spending time with my extended family and loved ones over the Christmas season, together in the same living room, will I stop what I’m doing on my phone and be present with them? I should. Those people, after all, are more important than my phone.
But this extends beyond our closest family and friends, this same courtesy should be extended to every human being. A human being does not receive their worth on whether I know them or not. They are valuable, they are important, they are worthy of my attention—whether I’ve ever met them before or not.
I think that’s what struck so deep about the events in the waiting room that day. The young man did not know the doctor, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is more important than a game on a phone.
When I order my coffee, do I stop everything else I’m doing, put down my phone, look the barista in the eye, and offer a smile? I should. Because THAT person is more important than my phone.
So is the bank teller, the gas station attendant, and the bell ringer sitting outside the doors at Wal-Mart collecting money for the poor. THAT person is more important than my phone.
The waitress, the cashier, the stock boy, the young child in front of me at McDonalds, the UPS man, the gentleman pumping gas next to me, the doctor, the attorney, the co-worker (even the annoying one)… they are all more important than my phone.
There’s nothing wrong with phones. I appreciate all the positive changes they have brought into my life. But too often, they distract us from the people around us—both friends and strangers.
This season, let’s adopt an approach to life (and our phones) that directs value where it belongs.
The next time you have opportunity to direct attention toward another human being, keep this reminder in mind: THAT person is more important than my phone.
Mary Torkelson says
Good point on article and long overdue. Like you said, it’s not just about the teenager, he was just the vessel for example sake. This “distraction” affects all ages, all genders, all social classes etc. The article is clearly asking the reader to check themselves. If the shoe fits, then I say,” go barefoot” and enjoy life and the people around you. Thanks Joshua
Judy says
Some people use their phone for work. My son-in-law (even when he is home) receives questions from his employees quite often. He has to stop what he is doing or who he is talking to in order to respond.
Rachel Trem says
I am a 10 year old kid who my parents are always looking at their own phones and computers, I sometimes am looking at my iPod touch and whenever I wanna play with my parents (or my brothers)want to play with me or my parents they say hang on let me finish but don’t come for another 15 mins.it makes me feel a bit mad! I think everyone should read this article!
Eva says
This is such a good point. So many of us often forget to celebrate the time we have with the person in front of us. Our time on this Earth is limited. Let’s make it count and live intentionally, valuing our interactions with other individuals over material things.
Terri says
I work with teenagers as a high school teacher. Phones are currently a huge addiction. It is a real challenge to engage the kids in their work and to compete with the phone. Soooo frustrating.
SL says
Well said! This is one of those things that we know but so easily forget. Thank you for the important reminder.
Jorge says
I completely agree and do this as well. The only thing that I’ve noticed (believe it or not) is that some people find it… creepy! I couldn’t believe that when this happened so I asked what was creepy about it. I was told that it wasn’t normal to pay attention to people anymore. So many people are comfortable pulling out their phone instead of learning from one another and just appreciating their presence. Scary!
Anonymous Please says
I disagree with this. There is no good reason to listen to someone else’s medical results. In fact, for the eye doctor to explain them in a public setting is a HIPAA violation. There are times when it is better to mind your own business than to listen in on someone else’s conversation. I believe the teenage boy was in the right.
Anonymous Please says
Also, I don’t own a smartphone. I have an 8 year old flip phone that serves my needs. It makes and receives calls. Yes, I have to press the number “7” four times to get an “s” to send a text. I was rear-ended by a distracted driver (my mother’s age) who was using her phone. I ended up with injuries, and my minivan had major damage, and my three kids were with me and quite scared from the experience. So I get that there is addiction, and I am not one of those. However, sitting quietly in a waiting room and using a phone for amusement is likely one of the best times to be using one of them.
Jyri says
You can’t blame smart phone for that. You should blame yourself for that. I have smartphone. Say like Xiaomi one. I never drive and text. I never walk and watch Netflix. I never do anything on it when talking to people. Look smartphones aren’t problem, people are, if they can’t use anything in moderation.
Jyri says
I deleted my Facebook, I was big fan of your page on it, but I needed to delete my account fully for good Joshua. I uset to love, not just like, what you posted there. But. I also used so much time stalking people, commenting on news and reading nonsense.
Now I just follow your blog, and few others. I have so much FREE time. I no more crave my smartphone when walking or traveling in bus. I see other people walking their phones while walking my dog, not my phone. I agree that anyone should delete Facebook.
Updating your Facebook facade takes your time, energy and resources. You could spend this all on blogging or writing poems. Maybe even books. You name it. Delete your Twitter also.
This is your ticket to freedom! It’s not good, if it’s FREE.
You are the product.
Bethany @ Happily Loco says
I gave up my Smartphone and my Facebook account, because I spent so much time on Facebook and Messenger, and I never felt happier afterward. I can’t judge other people, and I am not concerned with what they are doing. (Although I found it annoying when co-workers used their phones instead of doing their job, at my old job…but that was a very toxic work environment, that maybe they were doing all they could to escape).
But I know that I quit Facebook and have never been happier.