“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are no unanimous opinions. Beliefs held by 100% of the population are not called opinions, they are called facts. And other than the most elementary truths (2+2=4, the sky is blue), 100% belief in anything is becoming increasingly rare.
Change, by definition, requires us to embrace a new (or contrary) opinion. Whether we are seeking to change ourselves or the world around us, there is no transformation without the introduction of a new idea. And new ideas are almost always met with confrontation on some level.
For me, this occurred just hours after making the decision to remove our unneeded possessions and pursue minimalism. I made a phone call to my mom to tell her the news. She was less than excited. She had plenty of preconceived notions about minimalism—at one point even wondering aloud how we were going to eat if we stopped going to the grocery store.
We laugh about it now, but in the moment, it was significant. Only hours into my journey, I was forced to decide if I would succumb to the pressure of popular opinion or if I would pursue what my heart was telling me to be true.
To be fair, years later, I have learned to present minimalism differently and cut off many of the most common objections before they even surface. Nowadays, rare is the individual who argues vehemently against my understanding and case for minimalism. I have learned to promote the positives of minimalism rather than the negatives of consumerism.
However, on a macro-level, the objections refuse to slow. The stakes are just too high. There are businesses and economies and governments and personal livelihoods based on the pursuit of consumption and mass production. The introduction of any idea that seeks to tear it all down will be met with confrontation. It will require us to stand firm against the sway of popular opinion.
How then, in the case of pursuing simplicity, do we hold an unpopular opinion? How do we stand firm against the sway of popular opinion in this regard or any other? Whether we are in conversation with family and friends, attempting to live in a countercultural manner, or alone battling our own thoughts, here are some helpful principles to remember.
How to Hold an Unpopular Opinion
1. Celebrate your uniqueness. Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your deepest-held values are unique. Throwing that away just to conform to popular opinion is one of the cruelest things you can ever do. And it will always prevent you from living your fullest life.
2. Remember popularity and accuracy are not the same. As the proverb goes, “Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” Our desire should be to discover and hold the right opinions, not just the prevailing ones.
3. Count the benefits. Discover, remember, and focus on the benefits of your belief structure. Be able to quickly articulate to yourself and others why you hold the position that you do by embracing the positives. In the case of minimalism, whenever I explain my countercultural decision to others, I always highlight the benefits of owning less. It helps makes a stronger case for the lifestyle in both my mind and theirs.
4. Find strength in community. Unpopular is not the same as alone. From politics to religion to world views, there is no shortage of opinions available in our world. And almost certainly, while unpopular, there are others who believe the same as you. Find them. And discover greater resolve because of it.
5. Understand the counterarguments. Thinking critically and asking questions go hand in hand. Know your opinion, but work hard to understand the case and arguments against it. If you are right, you have nothing to fear. If you are wrong, you have everything to gain.
6. Hold opinions humbly. When discussing opinions of any kind, exercise humility with others and with yourself. We live our lives with certain assumptions and biases based on experiences. Sometimes these experiences lead us to truth, but other times they lead us away from it. Find the proper balance of humility and fierce resolve in all of your opinions.
7. Present your case boldly. I think owning less is a better way to live. Because of this opinion, I feel a responsibility to tell others and present the case for it whenever possible. Inviting others to a better way of life is an act of love. We must see it as such and stand firm in the face of opposition. This obligation remains true whether we are speaking of minimalism or countless other unpopular opinions.
Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. And it holds potential for great things.
Don’t slip into mediocrity by living your life based solely on popular opinion. (tweet that)
Tracy says
I appreciate your thoughts here. Perhaps the one that attracts me most is #6-to hold your opinions humbly. I’ve noticed that when I focus on 1) caring about people, 2) listening to them, 3) sharing about my approach to life if people ask questions and seem interested – that the feedback I receive is different than if I come across as if I’m telling people that thier lifestyles or our culture is wrong.
Julia says
I am 19 and this topic is something I have to deal with every single day. I guess most of the time people my age think I am weird for not buying new clothes all the time, not having the newest gadgets, travelling with just a carry-on rucksack, not owning a car, going everywhere by bike/bus etc.
The problem with this is that they don’t want to know about it and I think they don’t want to understand. They are so caught up with how they look, what they own, who to impress and where to live.
Point 4 in your article says “Find strength in community” – I really think this is (for me at least) the hardest of all (I guess living in a small village doesn’t make this any easier!)
Lizzie says
At the beginning of our home education journey, finding a “community” was difficult. We, too, live in a small, rural village and home education was perceived as a threat. I was a founding member of two home education support groups that spanned almost ten counties and membership was small and the mothers (teachers) were craving support and encouragement.
Today, home education is national news and home educators are trend setters. We are everywhere. It is pleasant to know I am a “veteran” and laid a path strong enough for others to follow. Hang in there!
ren says
I Feel at times its me and a couple of friends against the world. Trying to buck the belief of more, more, more. I just found a local post of women who are organizing, becoming clutter free, etc. It’s helping me a lot.
Cheryl Magyar says
What is unpopular now may be just right in the coming decades. As for myself and my small family, simple living is the way to go, no matter what others around us think. Living with less has been a blessing in so many uncountable ways – once you embrace it, there is no turning back.
Gladys says
“Owning less is a better way to live” it is very true. I watched the show “hoarders” and I couldn’t imagine how these people live happily. Less stuffs, less stress and worries!
AEW says
I follow & share your blog regularly and my husband and I find a lot of inspiration in your writing, perspective and shared experiences. This particular blog couldn’t have came at a more appropriate time. Over the course of the past 1.5 years, my husband and I have sold or donated all of our belongings and quit a comfortable job & closed a business all to begin a cross-country journey focused on beauty, simplicity, growth and our family. This morning we began our move from Washington, DC to California. Following your blog this past year and a half has been most helpful. As you know, it takes time to let go of material possessions, paperwork, furniture. We didn’t want to throw it all away, but find good homes for our things! I love knowing my close friend has my husband’s homemade table and my neighbor’s daughter playing with my childhood train set. It makes me much happier than actually owning those things did! Instead, we’ve decided what we need based on the goals and priorities we’ve made for ourselves. After we arrive in CA we plan to continue on with our minimalist lifestyle and hope to inspire others to find the joy in their LIFE not their THINGS! Thank you for your writing!
Flor says
Today, we gave up cable tv, when I told some people, I was met with blank stares, some managed to mumble, some were more honest, and said, that might work for you but not for me.
In the end a wise man’s words reminded me ” to convince a man against his will , is of the same opinion still”.
I figure it’s my journey, only I know how far it will take me, and the fruits and rewards are mine to enjoy.
Lizzie says
When we got married, in 1975, we chose NOT to have a TV. (Read Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television and you’ll throw yours out, too. LOL) Actually, that choice was made because we wanted to live in the REAL world as well as change the status quo. Our families practically threw televisions at us. Our decision was a slap in their faces…literally. Since then, we have made other choices….home education, no banking, minimalism….that seem to be a direct insult to them and to our friends. Over time, we have learned and incorporated the points in this article and yet, the opposition remains. To walk a different path may be cleansing for us but is often a perceived threat to others.
When in a conversation about such topics with someone else and I begin to see their eyes glass over, get fixed, then fear begin to creep in and anger begin to blossom (or defensiveness), I take a deep breath, center myself and politely turn the conversation elsewhere. The seed is planted and that was the end of my job. :)
Erin says
Love this. Though, I never try to “invite” anyone to my way of life. I’m open about my move towards minimalism and have actually received nothing but support. I have occasionally talked about how it’s benefitted me and my best friend adopted it herself, but I’ve never felt that I should evangelize it. I’ve found that a few posts on Facebook about how great it’s been for me has been enough to start a conversation with those who are interested.
Anne-Cécile says
Thank you for this post. I really fear the opinion of others on my new lifestyle, and though I am sooo excited about all the good things it gave me, I’m rather shy to share it and encourage others in my direction for fear of coming about as paternalizing and judgemental. Your words encourage me to stand my grounds, enjoy the good things and promote positive simplicity!
barbara says
Well said , “positive simplicity”. reminds me of a quote I once saw, “Simplify to Create Serenity”
Sandra Pawula says
This is so intelligent, Joshua: “I have learned to promote the positives of minimalism rather than the negatives of consumerism.” Even though minimalism has the potential to change our current structure, something different and beautiful could grown in their place!
everlearning says
We don’t talk much about our lifestyle, but when there is conversation about a new store or restaurant or product and we say we haven’t been there or haven’t thought about buying the product, we’re looked at very strangely, at times bordering on contempt from those who just think we’re really out of it. The “Why?” question is hard to answer without others feeling judged because they judge their lifestyles against others – I think we all do that at times. People ask me where I shop and when I tell them I haven’t bought clothes in a very long time (except maybe new socks, underwear, or a new pair of running shoes), they are just baffled. I’ve learned to just smile and laugh about it. Sometimes it leads to good conversation. But I would like to know how to answer these questions/statements: “You are part of the reason the economy is not growing.” OR, “Don’t you realize that by living that way you are keeping people out of work and people from starting businesses?” OR, “If too many people think like you do, the entire economy will collapse. Will that make you happy?” Any suggestions?
Jena says
Everlearning… I guess I would look at them in shock. Because,
that is what I would be. Shocked. I think it would take me a week
for a comeback, if any.
everlearning says
Thank you!
Anne-Cecile says
Hi,
Actually there’s a good post on this topic on Mr Money Mustache’s blog: he explains that if everyone became frugal, the economy would indeed collapse and then rebuild itself on better grounds…
My answer would be that in the perfect world where everyone would eventually become frugal, it would take such a long time for all the individuals of even the smallest country to catch up, that their economy would probably have time to adjust. But that’s utopia isn’t it?
AEW says
I think that minimalist doesn’t mean the eradication of goods, services and all things paid for or acquired. I think that minimalism can mean a lot of different things to a lot of people, companies, countries, places, etc. It can mean designing the same product with less material, of higher quality and less environmental impact, minimalism can mean being more resourceful (compost and don’t buy fertilizer), minimalism can mean less gifts and more travel… I’d rather SMALLER businesses and more of them with quality items. People survived the depression and minimalism wasn’t exactly a fad then, but a necessity. Waste not want not!
Anne-Cecile says
That’s it! That’s actually everything there is to say! Thank you for this!
barbara says
I’m so glad to hear someone else mention the “Waste not, want not ” phrase. That is how I was raised & have always felt very strong about not wasting anything. Unfortunately that is a concept most don’t relate to at all in our present day extreme consumerism , The flip side of not wasting ,turned me into a hoarder of sorts. Never wanting to throw anything away ,”just in case”, as the guys say. Fortunately I’m reformed.
Debbie says
I do not really care what other people do or compare myself to them. I am currently unemployed. This is the second time since 2007. Careers change.
I probably was a minimalist before I joined the website. I moved from an expensive town with high taxes to a more affordable town in 2005. I wanted to be able to survive on very little money. In 2007 when I was laid off I was not as well prepared as I was in 2013.
I have had many career changes on my path. I have learned to roll with them and not let my ego get tangled up with the reality of the present.
ralf says
Fashion is so ugly it needs to be replaced every 6 months.
if you focus on style and utility you don’t need to buy so much and often. I’d rather go hiking at the weekend instead of shopping or doing cleaning.
being 6’6″ has a little advantage – there are neither fashion items nor sale items in clothing for me.