Recently, a mentor was asking me some questions about life:
- What is going well for you?
- What areas seem to be a struggle for you?
- What is something you have learned lately?
Eventually, he asked me a question I wasn’t expecting:
- What do you need right now?
The question caught me entirely off guard. But almost immediately, I was surprised by both its simplicity and its depth.
Before going any further, I’d like you to answer the question for yourself: What do you need right now?
Go ahead, take your time, I didn’t have a quick answer either, I’ll wait… What do you need right now?
As I considered the question and weighed my response, I was struck by the blessed reality that this was not an easy question for me to answer.
I assume, if my most basic needs were not being met, this would be an easier question to answer: I need food, I need shelter, I need a warmer jacket, I need money for my overdue rent, I need a cure for my illness… The fact that none of these statements immediately surfaced in my mind is a reality that I did not want to overlook in that moment.
Equally so, my mind did not race to a vacuum in my relationships. I did not immediately declare: I need a spouse, a loving dad, an engaged father for my children, or my child to begin making wiser decisions with the direction of his life. Again, I will count my blessings in this regard.
Through this question, I was confronted with the important reality that when it comes to the most essential needs of safety and belonging, I have what I need. Matters of faith and spirituality did not arise either as I feel content that my needs are being met in that arena as well.
What then, do I need right now?
As I continued to contemplate an answer, I was struck by a second realization. When asked, what do I need in life right now? There was little thought of physical possessions. Needing another physical thing in my life couldn’t have been further from my mind.
I was not drawn to answer: I need a nicer car, a bigger television, a newer phone, or that new style of shirt with holes where shoulders are supposed to be. Literally nothing of a physical sort came to my mind.
My answer centered on far more important goals and ideals which I hope to accomplish with my life. I need help keeping balance. I need help being a more loving husband and father. I need a healthier and more consistent habit of meditation and solitude and prayer in my life. These are the things I need right now.
That is why I wanted you to answer the question for yourself. (It’s also why I patiently waited—if you remember). Because how we answer that question is important. Equally important, it is essential to evaluate how we are living in response to it.
My guess is that most of us, when asked “What do you need right now?” would not answer with anything that comes from a department store or retail website. We have far more significant needs in our lives. Far more important pursuits that we wish to accomplish.
An important follow-up question to the original one, might be, “How much time and energy are you putting into seeing those needs met?” vs. “How much time and energy are you wasting pursuing things you don’t actually need and don’t actually matter?”
One of the greatest benefits of owning less I have discovered is that my most limited resources have been freed up in significant ways. When I waste less time and money shopping or caring for physical possessions, I discover more time and money and energy to pursue those things I actually need to live a heathy, fulfilled, and accomplished life.
I don’t know what comes into your mind when you ask yourself the question, “What do I need right now?”
If the answer centers on shelter or warmth, I hope you find it soon. If the answer centers on love and relationships, again, I hope you find it.
But if those most basic needs have already been met in your life, and what you need right now centers more on pursuits of significance, I hope and pray you will find the strength and the will to direct your resources toward it. Reject the foolish pursuit of physical possessions—that is not what you need most in your life right now.
You need something bigger, more important, and more significant. May you find freedom in your life to pursue it.
laura ann says
I am out of bananas and oranges for smoothies, also need to get some collards and blackeyed peas at Zacks diner tomorrow. Got everything else I need unless something breaks like my 20 plus yr old washer or fridge. We have downsized extensively past year, and donated to several group homes in the community. Don’t miss a thing now gone. Ready to get moved in two bedroom apt for retirees soon.
Marijke says
The thing I need most now is focus and motivation. I am turning 56 this year. I have a wonderful family and I am slowly moving forward in decluttering. I see and read so many things that I would like to do regarding excercise, crafting, journaling, gardening and what happens is… nothing. Too much choice and because of that, no accomplishment at the end of the day. I tend to start, but hardly ever finish or continue things and I am feeling very dissatisfied with myself. So this, Joshua, is a very good question…
Trisha says
Curious how this is a reiteration of a post I just reposted from 2016. This is not letting me avoid it quietly. It is time to dive in with courage and take the time to really consider. Thank you for being obedient and sharing this in such a timely fashion.
Patty says
I love the shirt without shoulders comment you made lol! I actually like those shirts! I wouldn’t consider it a need, although there was a time I would have. I just want to say there is so much more peace, time to do fun things, and more quality relationships in our life when we give up the pursuit of things or social levels in society. I’m not saying it’s wrong to have money, just wrong to make that our only major pursuit of life. I don’t think anyone can be truly satisfied with money and things, we will always want more. But loving relationships, health, and peace within your heart and mind (because we are good to others and ourselves) will give us back the happy life we’re searching for. Even if we’re not perfectly healthy we can have this fulfillment because we realize the other important things we can focus on.
Andy says
Another good mentoring question is, “What’s bothering you right now?”
Hazel says
Joshua, you just hit me over the head with this. The things I need are not material possessions.
Right now I need good health both physically and mentally. I’ve been suffering from depression for what seems like all my life & have been on medication on & off.
Physically, I’m suffering from an array of issues that I’ve been trying to take care of with medication, diet and exercise.
I would also like to be at peace with myself and accept myself for who I am.
Thanks
Lisa says
I’m thinking too hard to find an answer to the question: “what do I need in my life right now.” I suppose, to be lighthearted, a good night’s sleep would sure be nice on a regular basis but as I get older, that seems harder and harder to get.
As I continue to move forward with adopting a minimalist mindset, I find I am simply content and satisfied and full of gratitude for where God has me situated in life right now.
Steve says
Great question, and the longer I think about it the better it gets!
Faye says
What do I need right now?
I need the self discipline to reduce my social media and iPad game playing habit. I feel like everything that stresses me, hinges on this. I fall asleep late playing games. Therefore I am grumpier in the morning which makes it a harder morning for the school run. I wake up later cause I am tired because I played games or scrolled mindlessly.
I don’t prioritise meditation or sleep over technology use, which I feel is very necessary for me right now, but I just haven’t given these two things the right weight. Yet. But I am determined.
I feel a bit disconnected from hubby in the evenings, as we sit on the couch together…brains a bit fried from work and parenting. Instead of being connected in that space together, I am using my iPad.
It’s time to make a change. That’s what I need right now.
Nancy says
I will pray for you as you “ruthlessly eliminate what is not contributing to the life you want” for yourself and your family.
Steph Williams-Tinkler says
That sounds just like me and my husband. He worked until late, and when he got home we would sit on the sofa, he on his phone, me on my iPad. Then he got sick, and he died last June. What I wouldn’t give to have that time back again and spend it meaningfully connecting with each other. Time is our most precious commodity and it’s not until we no longer have it that we then realise we should have spent it wisely. The iPad can wait. Time spent with your husband cannot.
Nicci Marquart says
Really enjoyed reading this. well written, thank you for sharing !
Think many of us can benefit from this post.
Joy says
What a wonderful question. It really does help you reflect on how blessed we are. :)