We live in a world filled with empty consumeristic promises.
- To get the girl, buy this cologne.
- To be the life of the party, get this television.
- To impress your friends, buy this watch.
- To turn heads, drive this car.
- To raise a better family, buy this bigger house.
These promises bombard our senses incessantly—even within the comforts of our home. And more than we realize, these messages begin to shape our conscious and subconscious thoughts.
As a result, too often, we buy stuff we don’t need. Our closets become crowded, our drawers overfill, our garages can’t fit our cars, and our homes fill with countless products we thought were a good idea at the time; but in reality, rarely get used.
Our lives soon become buried under everything we own.
To counter these empty promises, I want to offer a simple, life-transforming question—five simple words to ask before making any purchase.
The question is this: But what if I don’t?
Whenever you feel the pull of consumerism, simply ask yourself the shortened version of this thought, “What might I be able to do if I didn’t make this purchase?”
Every purchase contains an opportunity cost. The question, “But what if I don’t?”, forces us to recognize and articulate it.
For example:
If you don’t buy that large screen television, how much debt could you pay off?
If you don’t buy the bigger house, how much more money would you have to travel?
If you don’t go clothes-shopping today, how could you build up an emergency fund?
If you don’t make this purchase on Amazon, what good could you accomplish in the world with the money instead?
You know what you’ve been promised if you buy… but what if you don’t? How would your life improve if you said ‘no?’
With every purchase we make, we sacrifice a small amount of freedom. This one, simple question helps us recognize exactly what it is.
About Joshua Becker
I’ve lived in small houses, medium houses, and very large estate houses….and guess what…..my happiness and well being is not derived out of the size of my house or all the many Material possessions I have owned. After selling our mini compound 11 years ago, and becoming renters, Now on our second rental….we just were asked in March to move out of the rental house….yes, I know, during Covid-19. At 75, and 72, we decided to buy one more house. We don’t want to have to move again, especially with the changing times. We found a modest home, and a friend remarked we would not have enough furniture to fill it….and my response was, “Less is best and more is a chore.” I don’t need THINGS to make my life complete. Experiences with family and friends are the treasures that full fill me. I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog and writings over the past couple years. It’s helped me to let go of things that no longer serve me…..
I think this works with any practical pause/questioning.
I usually ask myself: “Do I *really* need it, or do I just want it?
Not to say I’ve never given in, but I buy way less now, in part from the pause.
I am quite excited at the prospect of sering what I am NOT going great to buy from now on.
I must be awful but I was planning where I was going to send my Christmas gifts as I was undoing them.
I gave vouchers this year to stop people having to get rid of unwanted presents from me!
My Husband, and I, the past 20byears, have asked our juds that IF they plan to buy us anything for Christmas, BirthdYs, etc, that they buy us consumable items. And we do the same in return. Gift cards for special things, like Starbucks, other places, like restaurants, or even they will ask what we’ve been saving up for ( like a replacement deck, couch etc., ) especially now that he’s passed away, I struggle financially to keep things up, so they’ll get me a certificate for supplies for a project, or even to have my hair colored and styled ( a definite “WANT vs. NEED, now!)
But you’re still talking about money, debts, emergency funds – you’re still advocating being hooked into the mindset that’s responsible for the larger exposure. Like ‘just sip the coolaid’. What about, don’t buy this bigger house, learn to build one yourself? Don’t take that salaried job, grow your own food so you hardly need a job. Don’t spend money on travel, move somewhere where you can have a better life. Don’t have an emergency fund, have a life where you’re better insulated from emergencies. Decouple. Don’t just minimise.
YES
Just want to thank you for all of the articles. I just began my journey. I have sold 95% of my wardrobe, cleaned my basement out, and had a huge sale. I earned right at $2,000. Less really is more!
The “what if I don’t” question is great for extra-curricular activities, job offers and more… we have been using it a lot in our home and it has become a great tool for decision making. Thank you!
I have no debt, very good savings and a retirement plan, so your last reason effects me the most. I seem to have a frugal gene built into me, but I’m not cheap. In this rocky political climate I was able to donate a considerable amount of money to organizations and causes I believe in and want to support. By not spending on frivolous or impulsive items over the years, I am able to be generous and put my money where my heart is in order to do the most good. It makes me feel much better than buying yet another pair of shoes or a new gadget.
Joshua, thank you for continuing to inspire. As our Spunky Avocado families are kicking off a mini-repeat of our Suburban Smackdown and buying nothing new starting today, I find comfort in your question. Not sure why the nerves always kick in prior to starting the challenge of buying nothing new, but they do. I’m feeling confident now that as the hurdles appear, and I know some will, I can use your question as a discussion point with the family. What a great reminder it will be to bring it all back to the things we want to do together as a family. Thank you!
Good for you Niki. And nice to hear from you too.
I aim to live a purposeful life in all resoects including living by a Values Based Spending Plan. However, I do great for a time then all of a sudden make a purchase or two without barely a breath in between the thought “I like this” and clicking the buy now button. I am “supposed” to take 24 hours before purchasing. Still a work in progress! Fortunately, I hate both debt and clutter which goes a long way to keeping my spending in check:)
It’s hard to avoid purchasing stuff on your own but it’s even harder to stop others from purchasing for you :) I swore when I first moved out on my own, I would keep my kitchen counters bare. Childhood years of lifting up baskets, frog sponge holders, vases etc to clean the counters underneath nearly drove me nuts. My well meaning mother, noticing how bare my counters were, gave me an enormous box for Christmas. Inside was a mind bending assortment of kitchen counter clutter: 1 “banana bunch” holder (?huh), 1 paper towel holder, 1 knife block, 1 giant spinning spice rack. Then there was the “pod coffee machine” I desperately never wanted. That ate up a good percentage of my tiny counterspace (as well as being an environmental mess and requiring storage of space eating coffee pods). Over the years most of the stuff has gone to Goodwill. It’s hard to broach the topic with relatives, it seems like their feelings become hurt or they are “let down” that they can’t fulfill some obligation to give a “good” gift.
My mom tends to bring a few things whenever she visits. They are typically things she’s getting rid of or had fun purchasing for me. I’ve learned just to say thank you and take those things to Goodwill. She doesn’t seem to notice.
Habits are hard to stop, when i thought of i have (enough), usually that was true, sometimes i would use other things i already had in my home and stop buying things i thought i needed but didn,t, you know its not quite the right colour so buy a similar thing and somehow that will be better, always better but rarely is,
thats the thing we strive for perfection on this endless treadmill, and we have so much choice, i think we are always looking for the next thing, the next project etc etc we rarely enjoy what we already have, you know when you get the next job things will be alright, when i reach that perfect weight things will be alright if only,
i think its time i just learnt to be content with what i have, who i am, where i go next and have a few ideas that cost very little and enjoy the finer things in life and simplify and appreciate what i have,
all the best for the coming new year everyone
God bless
Jacqueline xxx
And “do I have another way of doing this with what I already own?” – I had to to ask myself this today when I almost bought a super fancy new curling iron. I thought, maybe I should try to use the basic one I already have first.
Absolutely! I am the same and just glad to see someone else say it! It’s an exercise to stretch the mind! We tell kids to use there imagination all the time but so often adults solve there ‘troubles’ by buying something that anyone can pick up at the store. I’ve been working hard to solve my “should i by this?” by thinking what do I have already in my home that can solve that issue, be dual purpose, or be totally repurposed to do something new and/or unusual ? I’ve done a lot of neat things that haven’t cost a penny or added one more Thing to our home. I love it!! And recommend it to everyone.
A great way of putting each purchasing decision into the big picture. Sure, buying something might meet a goal but what a great a great idea to also consider what goals could be met by not buying it. You can then make an informed and considered trade-off.
My only rule is “If it doesn’t say “Buy me! Buy me!”, don’t buy it. It works most of the time.
I have anxiety/depression and find that spending money is a source of comfort. It makes me feel happy (for that moment) and in control. I’m trying to cut back but old habits die hard…
Try paying cash for things. It makes it way more work to go into the bank. No debit card… You’ll stop buying stuff on line you don’t really need. Spend your time getting rid of what you have but someone else should be using because you’re not. I get it tho, promise!
Hi Jenny, you might think that buying things is helping your anxiety and depression but my guess would be it actually keeps the cycle going. When I stopped buying and cleared all my belongings to create a calm home and work environment I found my anxiety lessened considerably and I was better able to handle life’s ups and downs.
I find the best solution to anxiety and depression is exercise, walking in nature, visiting the gym or losing myself in a book or film.
Living with a pile of clutter and ever increasing debts is a recipe for disaster.
If you do need a little pick me up perhaps a scarf or shower gel.
Donating a box of household goods or clothing to a charity store actually makes me feel better now than buying new things !
Hope that helps????
Hi Jenny, I too suffer from depression and anxiety and have oftentimes shopped my way to a quick fix. Here’s the thing I noticed tho, shopping and treasure hunting are just as much fun without really buying anything. Oftentimes just getting dressed and leaving the house and being around people is the real key to feeling better. I will shop for a while and fill my basket or whatever with all kinds of finds and then simply return them to the shelves when I’m through. As I look carefully at each item I realize that the fun I had selecting it is really all I need and I don’t really even need to make a purchase. I tell myself that if I really want it and can’t live without it I can come back and buy it the next day or the next time I’m out. It really works! Scientists now say the endorphins in your brain are released whether or not a purchase is made. Before you know it the need to shop to feel better may be replaced by something healthierand cheaper!
Great comment!
Oh this is a different Jenny btw. Sorry for the confusion!
I like this idea
I have been doing minimal for many years its like a drug addict or alcoholic u just have to stop there is no easy way u will feel much better when u do.
I wish my husband can understand this
I appreciate your knowledge and your sharing of that knowledge to help us. I’m blessed to have come acrossed your blog and FB page.
This resonates with me ESP this time of year! “With every purchase we make, we sacrifice a small amount of freedom.” Thanks for the #truth.
I love your article . I keep asking my self the same question and feel so hood when I do not buy stuff to prove my worth every time.
Remarkable article! Great question to ask if we are confronted with materialistic inclinations. I think I have to add this question “but what if I don’t” to “does it make me less of who I am if don’t have it?” cheers????