There are some pursuits in life that are both/and.
For example, “I want to be successful at work AND invest in my family.”
This is a both/and type of proposition. I know lots of men and women who are both successful in their careers and find time to intentionally invest in their families. In fact, I hope I am one of them.
But not every pursuit in life is a both/and proposition. Some pursuits are either/or.
And we face grave consequences when we incorrectly discern between them.
As an easy example, consider someone who thinks to themselves, “I want to be healthy AND never exercise or change my diet.”
It’s a rudimentary example, but the proposition above cannot come true. We can’t both be healthy and not exercise. Eventually, one will win out over the other. And in the example here, health is the positive outcome that will be sacrificed if we continue to assume both can be true.
This is, of course, a foolish example. Most people know that you can’t both be healthy and never exercise. Right?
But what about harder to discern scenarios?
I would like financial calm in my life AND continue my spending habits.
I would like a more peaceful home AND keep all my stuff.
I would like a more spiritual existence AND value the things of this world.
I would like more time with my family AND my calendar full of events with friends.
I would like to write that book AND watch television every night.
Incorrect assumptions about what pursuits are both/and vs. either/or can keep us stuck in a rut.
Even worse, too often when we don’t realize which options stand in opposition to one another, we slide toward the less desired outcome: we get unhealthier, our finances stay in the red, our homes remain cluttered, our family gets neglected, or the book never gets written.
Those are the grave consequences of not discerning correctly.
Steven Wright, the comedian, once quipped, “You can’t have it all. Where would you put it?”
And he was right. You can’t have it all. Sometimes you must choose.
As we consider the lives we are living, we would be wise to evaluate the direction of them.
Is there something we desire more of in our lives? Healthier habits, a calmer home, more intentional parenting, a more loving marriage, more generosity or gratitude, reaching a greater potential?
If so, what is the either/or proposition that might be getting in the way of that pursuit? What needs to be removed so the greater good can flourish?
I love how you get to the deeper root of where minimalism can take you as a person. It’s about filling our life with what’s valuable by every choice we make. We always have a choice and in the end our choices make us who we are. By not making a choice we are still choosing. Minimalism is so much more than simplifying items in our home, which is also a wonderful thing, but only the beginning of greater pursuits. Love your blogs and just finished your book “Things that Matter.” I have so much work to do, but everytime I read your content I am that much more inspired to live a more intentional, abundant life.
I am going to add your book to my lists list of books and In the meantime enjoy your blogs . Thanks
Very timely! This article opened my eyes to see exactly what I have been doing to derail my true desires. It seems as if I have infinite time to create and paint. You gave me a reality check, Josh! Thank you, this is brilliant!
Thank you! Simply thank you for this post. God spoke to me through you today. Blessings.
Well I’m 69 and I find this stuff really hard to do but today’s article was an eye opener. I was going through my inbox and at the same time as this article appeared there was the email telling me Issue 22 of Simplify Magazine was available. I download these routinely without fail but I don’t read them. Why? Because I don’t make time for it and your article made me realise I’m not choosing wisely between either or. So I started a list of Things I Really Want To Do (and I can live without the rest) so I can see how to spend my limited time and energy and not waste my time left on earth!! I wonder if I should put up a list of Things I Haven’t Got Time To Do! I get in such a muddle.
I’ve been having to try to simplify. Our daughter had to move back home due to an accident. Not sure if she can change her life so we need to change ours. Reducing by donating but it never seems to end. Remodeled so I can have an office for my clients in the house. Gave my husband a man cave. Still have 2 guest rooms. Have a 1250ft attacked garage that I’m dying trying to get organized.still not sure how to do it. House is good & getting better. Garage has a car parked inside. We have a room built inside the garage too, However, in about a 1-1/2 parking space is a mess of all the things we are trying to go through & organize, sell or donate. Trying to tear out work beaches to make better storage areas but now that my husband’s doing this it’s a huge mess. I’m at a loss. I feel defeated. I did give away 3 crates of things yesterday & am donating by literally paying for my clothes to go to an organization called “For Days” . You send in your old things & they recycle everything. Then you get what’s called closet cash for the $20. For each bag they sent you to sent your items to them. They make clothing items for all, pet products, kitchen, etc.. getting bigger. It makes you know you’re helping save the earth. Then you can get rid of items easier. In turn you can buy items for yourself or for gifts. However still limiting your purchases. Then when done with items you can again recycle up again.
I need more help!! However you’re Inspirational.
Really important .. hard to actually do it.
I’m reading your input and slowly getting started. It feels good to get one bag at a time into garbage.
This hit the nail on the head Joshua! It can be really hard to choose one thing instead of another thing but every time we say yes to something we are saying no to something else and if we “want it all” we could accidentally say yes to the wrong things that take our lives in the opposite direction of where we want to go. Everything we say yes to becomes our master but some masters are cruel and some are kind.
I have never been a big consumer as clutter makes me anxious. I totally agree that working on becoming a minimalist has given me peace. I have very limited landscaping in my yard, so I don’t spend my weekends attending to my yard. My house outside looks very neat. My garage only has necessary yard tools. It feels so good to come home from work and go in an uncluttered garage. I have no shed as it would be space for my family to clutter. If you don’t buy it you will not have to find a place to put it. Of course one needs certain things like the lawnmower, necessary things for fun activities like snow skiing, summer furniture etc. But if kept at a minimum, you can still enjoy life without having to rearrange everything to access your necessary stuff. If only society could see how unnecessary stuff is, we might not be in credit card debt. Debt stresses a family. Stuff compounds the debt stress. Families spend time having to find items in the clutter. All of this produces extra stress and decreased peace and harmony.
I want to have a full social life/sense of community/indulge in social drinking and eating for pleasure, and be healthy. I haven’t found that balance yet. In all other aspects you’ve described I feel I’ve accepted and understood the trade offs and done really well, but still have work to do in this space. Always a journey.
These words are so true and encouraging. At 71 yrs young, I do not have clutter, but still too much. I would rather sell/donate much of my stuff to people who actually need it, rather than eventually know my kids would be cleaning it out and tossing.
Thanks for all you do Joshua. It’s never too late to start the minimalist journey.
It is never too late as a woman in your age group, 72!
Reading these articles keeps my focused on my goal towards becoming minimalist. In downsized from a 5 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom house. I’ve been donating to Goodwill twice / week for the last several months. I’m not where I would like to be yet, but I’m getting there.
I’ve taken on board your twice weekly donation. I found the whole task just overwhelming. I just didn’t know where to start so I just put together 2 boxes and dropped them off. Next week the same and I’m going to try continue til I’m there. So much clutter to clear but I’ve made a start.
That’s great!!! Keep it up 😃
Excellent article. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could be healthy and not watch the food we consume or exercise. Anything worth having involves hard work and commitment.