“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown
I made a significant decision when I was young that I have never regretted. Simply put, I decided that I did not have to live my life like everyone else. I would live my own life. I would pursue things of lasting value rather than the newest fads of society chased by everyone else.
It sounds simple enough. Yet, countless multitudes will never make that decision.
Instead, they will succumb to the pressure to conform. They will live their life purchasing the trendiest products and fashion released to the masses – not because they actually need them, but just because their neighbors bought them. They will base many of their life decisions on the celebrity spokespersons’ pitch of the day. They will waste their energy trying to keep up with the Joneses.. all for the elusive purpose of conformity. And in exchange, they will lose their life and forfeit their soul.
Decide today to live your life. You do not need to live life like everyone else. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.
Here are a few steps that I have found to be very helpful. Use them to get you started (or continue you along):
1. Celebrate your uniqueness. Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your personality is special. Your deep-held values are unique. Even your laugh sets you apart. Throwing that away just for the sake of looking and living like everyone else is one of the cruelest things that you can ever do – it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique. Celebrate them.
2. Realize that most peoples’ lives are heading toward destruction. Just consider the latest statistics. For example: Last year, on average, Americans carried $8,100 in consumer credit (not mortgage debt) – that is $8,100 for every man, woman, and child in America. It’s no wonder 46% of Americans say they suffer from debt-related stress. And according to the American Medical Association, stress is a factor in more than 75% of sickness today. In addition, The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that soon “50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” One of the leading factors? You got it, financial problems.
3. Accept the truth that there is a better life out there. Reading through the statistics above, one can not help but say, “There must be something better out there.” There is and there always has been. Unfortunately, most people are so busy tripping over each other to purchase culture’s newest release that they miss out completely on the better life. Do not be fooled. The better life is not being mass-produced in a factory… you won’t find it on the shelves in a department store. It has never been found there. And never will be.
4. Identify your values and allow them to guide your life. Grab a piece of paper and pencil. Across the top write, “What I most want to accomplish in life.” Begin making a list. Post that list some where that you will notice it every single morning. Allow it to shape your life. Base your decisions about time, energy, and money on those values. Allow them to guide your life even when they take you down a narrower road than everyone else.
5. Find a mentor that you admire. Surely you are not alone in your desire to live a better, more fulfilling life. Others have traveled the same road prior to you. Seek them out because you will need to look hard for them – they are uncommon. Perhaps they are in your family, your organization, your spirituality, or on your library shelves. Whether in person or through their writings, soak up as much as you can from them. Learn from them and be inspired by them. Follow their life, not the masses.
6. Reflect, reflect, reflect. Regularly pull away to meditate, contemplate, and reflect. An unexamined life is not worth living because the pull to conform has always been too great. Our lives will always “drift” in the direction of conformity if we lose our directional bearings. Withdraw often. Review your list of values and reflect on the current trajectory of your life. Is it headed towards the end you desire… or just following the easy road of everyone else?
Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. It holds potential for great things. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it just like everyone else. It is not a worthy trade.
Linda says
I don’t understand how to get out of where I am. This site came up as a result of certain words. Sure I am not where I should b but keeping me from MAJOR depression.
People don’t know assets will not make u happy. I want a simple cabin, nature, animals and someone that shares and wants same. Want someone to love and want me, for me
Fellow sailor says
I feel you. I have this thought over and over. I don’t want to chase after something I don’t really care about. Get a job for the sake of money and power or to profess my stature in society. When I talk to my friends they aren’t serious enough to understand. But you should really follow what you cherish. We feel left out because no body else feels the same.
Barbara says
Linda, your comment echoes the feelings of many…the longing to be loved, find someone with shared values and goals, live in the setting that is joyful and fulfilling for you, etc.
One truth I have learned is that first you must accept and love yourself. Just as you are now. Along with your imperfections and despite them.
Another is that if you consciously try to move toward your happiness, life will support your efforts. If living close to nature is a heartfelt goal, try to find a way to get closer to that. Reducing your possessions, creating a simpler life, making what choices you can will help you feel empowered. And a powerful woman creating her own destiny will attract joy. You can be who you seek! Then, should that longed-for partner come, you will be ready to receive love. In the meantime, live life as joyously as you can. Best wishes!
Tisha Marie says
Wonderfully written! <3 A great reminder to all of us everyday! We are all unique and we must respect and appreciate each other's special personalities, gifts/talents, behavior, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs, bodies etc. #goodread #goodvibes
learn to drive lessons warrington says
I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Well written!
ren says
I’m ready to DOWNSIZE, and simplify, looking at lake side cottages, which means downsizing and I’m looking forward to it. Not interested in buying big or fancy, I just want things to look nice and cozy.
ren says
For years I complained about my POS car. Now I love my 2006 Saturn with stick shift. ..its been paid off for years…still runs great and I wasn’t devasted when a deer ran onto road and bounced off my hood. Don’t think I don’t feel bad about the deer, but it did run off, so deer is fine. When people are bragging about their new vehicles, I’m driving a car that I could afford when I bought it new, that’s cheap to drive and no worries if I get a door ding etc.
That is freeing. 214k miles on it and hoping to get at least 250k out of it. The last Saturn I had, I gave to my daughter with 260k on it and she sold it for a little cash to an old guy who putzed around town with it for at least a couple more years. Next car I get will be used, and reliable, I don’t carry what it looks like.
Tom Zed says
Consumerizm aside, having been a nonconformist all my life, I often feel I’m the odd one one, a missfit in society,
which is not a good way to be… Also, overanalizing and philosophizing everything has the same risks of isolating oneself from the rest, which, again, isn’t healthy.
Tom Zed says
Odd one out
Tym Traveler says
Great article! I don’t wanna be like everyone. I wanna be me.
Jennife says
#4 and the final paragraph spoke to me. I used to live this life I now seek, 10 years ago. Over time things somehow changed and fast forward, I’m afraid to return to that fulfilling place out of fear. Although conformity frightens me more.
Kush Sharma says
Awesome post! I’ve read this before on your site but it’s always a wonderful reminder!
Mano Dharmalingam says
this is a superb way of living – its a shame this did not come up about 10 years earlier.I would be living a great life today