Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living.
“He who would travel happily must travel light.” —Antoine de St. Exupery
The Case Against Minimalism
When I first heard about minimalism, I became very defensive. I wanted to ‘protect’ my material world. “No thank you, I love my stuff. I’ve worked hard for years to accumulate every single piece. And I’m planning to hold on to them!” That’s what I silently said in response.
I salute all of you advanced minimalists out there but the idea of a minimalist lifestyle and a small home terrified me. And so I promptly forgot about it and went about my business.
Except that I couldn’t forget. Minimalism was happening all around me. The personal growth world had gotten hold of this notion of “less is more” and was not about to let go anytime soon. Becoming a minimalist was the latest trend and the biggest buzz in town!
And that terrified me even more. I started to grow “allergic” to the word minimalism and avoided anything and everything about becoming a minimalist.
But at least I felt safe and protected in my home. Until, that is, my husband picked up on the trend and was soon sharing his new ideas on how minimalism would revolutionize our lives.
“We don’t need to collect any more stuff, honey! We should now focus on collecting memorable life experiences instead. That’s what lives in our hearts and travels to the end of time with us. You know?”
Huh?
That’s very romantic, babe, I thought to myself, but I still want what I want which is swimming in a big fat shiny material world and nobody was going to change my mind about it, not even my soul-mate.
So it was obviously time to take out the big guns and put up my big guard against this whole minimalism business.
I had to protect myself. Everyone, it seemed, was out to strip me from my cherished, material things and to convince me that shopping for new clothes, beautiful shoes, and fancy makeup was a waste of time and money. And I wasn’t about to have any of that.
Becoming an Accidental Minimalist
And then something very peculiar happened.
My good friends Dan and Vanessa launched a podcast called “Simple life Together“ and I innocently tuned in. The idea of simple living drew me in like a magnet. It didn’t scare me like minimalism – in fact, initially, I didn’t draw the connection between the two at all.
I totally embraced this simple living concept. I started organizing my closets, donating my books and going paperless, and I loved it. And for some strange reason, my husband couldn’t be happier! “Thank you Dan and Vanessa” he would say over and over!
Then a few months later, I was vacationing in Chile and naturally, we went shopping. Or maybe I persuaded my hubby to take me shopping, I can’t remember which. Anyway, here I was, in this gorgeous shopping mall in the heart of Santiago, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything!
This resistance to shopping persisted to the very end of our trip and I left Chile without buying a single thing—which in my book is seriously abnormal. But I comforted myself. I was saving up for Istanbul, I reasoned, which was going to be my big shopping spree of the decade!
And to my utter shock, the same thing happened during my Istanbul trip. I was in the middle of the Grand Bazaar in the heart of one of the greatest cities in the Middle East, with money and time… and absolutely zero desire to shop.
On several occasions, I came ridiculously close to buying something following a bout of negotiation even my Dad would be proud of. But then I would just lose interest and have no desire to go through with the transaction.
I can’t tell you how baffling this felt. It felt as if I had traded my old self with someone else and I was watching in horror what this new person was doing, and wondering what on earth had happened to my old self.
Just for good measure, when I came home, I drove by myself to pick up some make-up. Nobody to bother me or to rush me. Nowhere to be but in the aisles of makeup after makeup with a long shopping list. All the time in the world to choose gorgeous new expensive makeup … and I walked out with a tiny lipstick!
That, dear friends, is how I became an accidental minimalist!
Your Inner Voice on Minimalism
I admit, it feels strange when a subconscious part of you drives your behavior and messes around with your inner desires. But it also feels good. And right to some extent. That subconscious part is our inner wisdom guiding us gently toward the best decisions of life as long as we listen and pay attention.
I am so glad I listened.
I did not intend for any of this to happen.
In fact, I had every intention to shop, to buy, to spend, and yet when push came to shove, I had lost all interest in doing so.
And now I get it. It feels good. It feels good to not buy, to not shop, and to not worry about what to buy and where to shop and instead, to simply go without. In fact, it feels better than what you feel an hour or a day after you buy something, you know, the low after you’ve come down from the high of shopping, the unfulfilled desire nudging you to go out and shop some more to feel better, the never-ending cycle of high-low from never quite having bought enough.
So for now, I am letting this accidental path take me along. Now, I can finally appreciate living simpler, living with less, and being all the better off as a result.
Now I understand the irony that our stuff, which was supposed to bring us happiness and joy, finds a sneaky way of trapping us. And our freedom, which we cherish and protect so much, gets silently trapped in all the mess.
Unless we pay attention because true freedom, it turns out, is in the intangibles that we can’t see or touch but feel. The stuff that we can’t put on shelves, but we can put in our hearts. And there, it can stay safely for a long time without taking up much space at all.
So I have lowered my guard, I have accepted the truth of this higher self which apparently knows me so well, and while I am far from calling myself one, I can honestly say that I am loving the path of becoming a minimalist.
What about you? How did you fall into minimalism? Was it with intention? Or do you have an accidental story to share? Let us know in the comments!
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Farnoosh Brock left a 12-year corporate career to start her own company, Prolific Living Inc. She is the author of several books including her latest, The Healthy Juicer’s Bible. You can also find her on Twitter or at her weekly podcast, The Daily Interaction.
Sally says
OMG what a wonderful post! I’m still way towards the beginning of the path of becoming minimalist, but it so appeals to me, and I’m cleaning out my stuff slowly and daily. One of the biggest changes I’m noticing is that I no longer have a desire to shop! My house is full of stuff that I thought I had to have at the time or that were gifts, and it no longer feels like anything but a weight on my soul. So slowly I’m donating and getting rid of. It won’t happen overnight, but it is moving that way, and I feel freer every day. I apply the same mindset to eating…less is more, and that one I’ve known for a very long time. Your story rings true to me because that’s how I accidentally stumbled onto minimalism as well, not through friends with a blog but rather with reading lots of different things and feeling them speak to my heart and letting them speak to my heart and discovering through that that there was a sameness of simplicity that ran through all the things I was drawn to. Thank you!
Farnoosh says
Sally, go slow, go so so very slow and at your own perfect pace, and you will really enjoy the journey even more. It’s also easier on you because drastic changes can leave a false sense of regret say if you were to get rid of it all tomorrow….. and blogs help. This one is one of the best, Joshua has done a remarkable job so come back a lot and wishing you the very best, Sally.
Brenda Joy Samuelson says
Hello,
Thank you for your article.
I am 36 years old and have been living without many possessions most of my life. I have an itch to always move around. It seems every time I collect things I end up just selling them off and moving again. However, sometimes I struggle with being in my thirties and not owning more things. This sometimes leads to me feeling unaccomplished, but I have come to a new found appreciation for how I live my life. I am moving to Hawaii in one month and this time the process of getting rid of my possessions feels extremely cleansing. Thank you!
Farnoosh says
Oh the association of “things” to accomplishments, Brenda, I hear you. In my Iranian culture, things are the measure of accomplishment, believe it or not. It’s not a very healthy approach and definitely not very accurate way to measure our life’s accomplishments. Hawaii: I call it paradise on earth. I’ve been there 5 times and I still yearn to return. ENJOY it! You will have the best stretch of the Pacific and a place that makes you forget about “stuff” in a hot minute. A wee bit envious ;)!
Kaci Higgins says
Awesome post! I too accidentally fell into minimalism. My journey started due to my health. I was so tired of having to ask my family to clean this, organize that, deal with this or that, etc because I was unable to. I realized that if we just got rid of so many uneeded things then life would be simpler! It worked!! Less really is more, more snuggles, more kisses, more reading, more listening, more joy! Blessing to you in your journey :)
Farnoosh says
Kaci, I love it – so many accidental minimalists here….. Such logic indeed. Less stuff, more time for you and less time cleaning!! My favorite: “MORE READING” – Oh I am in love with reading. Thank you and blessings in return to you, Kaci.
Dree says
Glad to find a fellow accidentalist.
After going through a very painful divorce after only 5 years of marriage, I needed to move and learn how to once again live as a single woman. I realized how much I had acquired in 5 short years as soon as the moving truck was loaded. Only my half of the house possessions took up an entire moving truck filled to the top. Sheesh! That’s when it hit me. I have entirely too many things in my life and they have done me very little good other than to be a headache when needing to move. My new residence is much smaller which necessitated less stuff but I really liked the feeling I got from letting things go. It was freeing, liberating, and a part of my personal healing. I never thought things had a hold on me until I started to free myself from the material world I had created. My life has utterly changed and just like you, I found myself having no desire to shop. My family told me it was just a part of my current situation. They have seen the permanency now a year later and know where my priorities and value lie, not in things but in people and experiences with them. That is the real treasure.
Farnoosh says
Experience creates the necessity, Dree, and you’ve done beautifully to adjust to it. Coming out of a painful experience could not have been easy, and I really hope simplicity has brought you a lot of joy and peace to make up for it all….. families have a hard time understanding our radical changes but we’ve gotta love them and share it with them in tiny bites until they come around :)! Thanks for sharing!!!
Brownvagabonder says
Thanks for this amazing story – I am always happy when one more person falls into the the minimalism ‘trap’. Soon the whole world will be living for the present moment, and not for something they can purchase in the future. I myself had started the minimalist journey 6 years ago, when I wanted to go travelling, but I couldn’t imagine carrying everything I own in my backpack – I realized then I need to pare down. Now, my partner and I are going to South America for a year, and we couldn’t be happier with owning just enough to fit into two backpacks.
Farnoosh says
Oh you are way ahead of me but travel is another way that you can embrace minimalism because when I am away from home, I am surviving just fine out of my suitcase, save for a few small things. South America: You’ll have a great time and simplify even further along the way. Safe travels!
Heidi says
This happened to me after a divorce. I guess not by choice. I moved from a 5,000 square foot home with three out buildings and a vacation home into an 1100 square foot row house that was built in 1866. Built in 1866 as in – no closets. Because people didn’t need them. Two years on, I’m still dropping stuff at Good Will every weekend. Each layer of material stuff I scrape off and give away is a layer of items I thought (at one time) I couldn’t live without. Then I give it away and never think about it again. Like you, I go shopping and I just can’t be bothered. My favorite and only summer shirt is a shirt I paid $20 for five years ago, most of my clothes are fitness wear since that’s what I spend my day wearing, and I have a few dresses to throw on for work or when I need to look put together. I told an old friend that I only have five pairs of shoes right now (three of them are gym shoes) and she was shocked. I used to have more than 100. I think she’s worried about me, honestly. And sometimes I feel like I should probably have more options but then I muddle through on my plain old clothes and no one else seems to notice and it’s fine.
Farnoosh says
Hi Heidi, thanks for sharing your story – by necessity it seems, you came to embrace minimalism and that’s the right word: “bothered” – I just don’t want to be bothered. You’re so right. And way to go on the fitness. I can live out of my yoga clothes all year long! :) Thanks so much for stopping by to give us such amazing perspective.
Jeanie says
I must admit, I chuckled inside when I heard you wrote about becoming minimalist. :)
Things are different when the turtle’s shell is smaller–a backpack, a car.
My minimalism journey started with a bang! I became convinced that I couldn’t afford a home base AND all the travel I wanted, so I shed, shed, shed all the stuff holding me back from it. Eventually I wound up with a trunk and backseat’s worth of stuff in a Civic. Chucked the job, the boyfriend, the home state, too.
What I’ve gained? Precious connections with people, a husband, and a sharper sense of purpose, despite the slow crawl toward my misty dream life. In hindsight, perhaps I should have planned better, as I miss having a variety of clothes!
The Kindle is the ultimate tool for a book lover to become minimalist, but I’m glad Gene has a lot of books for me to read. ;)
Farnoosh says
You chuckled? You should’ve laughed out loud. ;) I don’t blame ya, Jeanie and I remember every part of your journey since our meeting at NMX in 2010! Oh I have not gotten rid of too many of my clothes yet but I’ve stopped buying – and I am in love with my electronics. It’s lovely to see you here. I am so happy you found this much happiness along the way, Jeanie. Few deserve it more than you honey!
Amy U says
I like how you describe it as a “slow crawl”. I think I expect to become minimalist (in reality, not just in my mind) quicker than I am. I’m good on the lack of shopping—check. But cleaning out my life is far slower than I wish it to be. I have 2 kids, ages 8 & 10 (which is part of my inspiration—to show them that experiences matter more than “stuff”) but sometimes I feel like the time I spend “cleaning out” takes away from our lives, too. We moved a little over 2 years ago. I decided that I would go through every single box & belonging and none would just “hit the attic”, unscathed. Great plan then, but it’s left me with more crap lying around than I care for. I’m thorough in my cleaning out, reflecting the perfectionist part of my personality. Pre-kids, I had more time for stuff like this. Now, there’s always parenting-dutes, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning—-you get the picture. I donate a lot, but other things I set aside to sell—-I use the money for “major” household purchases……buying myself & my son a desk thus far & saving to buy my daughter a desk, too. I enjoy being able to make these meaningful contributions to our household, am proud of my ability to save and not fritter away the money on meaningless, unnecessary “stuff”. i.e.—I get something from it. It does strike me from time to time, though, “what if I could just have it ALL leave the house when it serves out it’s usefullness?”. For the most part, I do 2 consignment sales/year. I have a space set aside in our storage for a couple of boxes of things to sell. When sale time comes, I pull out the boxes.
Just wish either (1) it would all happen faster or (2) I could be more patient with myself & appreciate what I’ve accomplished so far.
Amy U says
btw—when I refer to the “perfectionist” part of my personality, it’s not really with appreciation for that quality. :o)
& when I refer to not shopping, that’s HUGE!!! A large part of where I’m at (i.e. too much stuff) is due to my former-self’s shopping habit—-stores, goodwill, garage sales, consignment sales. Now, if I sell at a consignment sale, I NEVER shop at them. It’s freeing.
Padmini Ram says
Lovely post! Yes, my story is similar. It was by accident. Growing up I had always believed that having a well furnished nice house was a sign of being a grown up, having reached. However, life had different plans for us. While I did furnish our first rental one bedroom all my myself, got lots of praises on a job well done, it was time to move on. We had to sell off all that when we moved from USA to UK. My husband is a consultant and we move quite often so we decided it was practical to live in furnished apartments. That one decision meant so much more freedom, and I loved it. I feel like every few years we get to live in a completely new decor, and collect life experiences by travelling rather that being tied to one place. I am always very thrifty, but I could so relate to your shopping trips and losing the desire to shop.
Farnoosh says
Hi Padmini, I love love the similarity of stories here. And you get to enjoy all the material without owning it which is really the best of both worlds. Enjoy it tremendously and let’s see where this minimalism and no desire to shop takes us! So glad you stopped by.
Karen @Journey towards simplicity says
Thanks for the great guest post. I can relate well to the accidental change in my way of thinking. I didn’t set out to spend less and give more. It was a gradual process and is still in progress. I can’t really identify and event or specific exposure. I do know getting rid of excess and clutter- at physical and cognitive levels- feels good for the long haul :)
Farnoosh says
Karen, so glad I’m not alone on this accidental gradual path. And yes, it only feel GOOD, really good, whenever I declutter any part of the house or walk out of the store without buying anything. Who knows why that is but it is what it is! :) Glad you enjoyed the post.
Dana says
I couldn’t take my eyes off of your post! My journey into minimalism was a mix, I had just moved across the world and tried to ship and carry every little thing that I thought would make me happy in my new home. When I got here I was very unhappy at first and having a hard time with the transition. I was overwhelmed with the move and was surfing the web and somehow came across minimalism blogs like this one. I looked at everything I had packed and the little I was living off of at my inlaws while searching for an apartment of our own and thought “I don’t even know what is in the rest of my luggage and boxes….wow”. And thus my journey began to live with less. We are about to do another international move, but this time with zero shipping boxes, and hopefully each suitcase will be within the weight limit! Wish me luck!
Farnoosh says
You are a brave soul, Dana, but I do know how you feel. What do I even need this stuff for, we wonder, when we haven’t looked at it for years …. plus you are truly out to gain life experiences. Wonderful story and thanks so much for reading. Joshua’s blog is addictive and I’m so happy he published my accidental minimalism story! Happy and LIGHT travels to you, Dana.
Sharon says
It took losing everything i owned in a housefire for me. Your life, your. families life..all that really matters in the end..and of course knowing Jesus…that is all we really need!