Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living.
“He who would travel happily must travel light.” —Antoine de St. Exupery
The Case Against Minimalism
When I first heard about minimalism, I became very defensive. I wanted to ‘protect’ my material world. “No thank you, I love my stuff. I’ve worked hard for years to accumulate every single piece. And I’m planning to hold on to them!” That’s what I silently said in response.
I salute all of you advanced minimalists out there but the idea of a minimalist lifestyle and a small home terrified me. And so I promptly forgot about it and went about my business.
Except that I couldn’t forget. Minimalism was happening all around me. The personal growth world had gotten hold of this notion of “less is more” and was not about to let go anytime soon. Becoming a minimalist was the latest trend and the biggest buzz in town!
And that terrified me even more. I started to grow “allergic” to the word minimalism and avoided anything and everything about becoming a minimalist.
But at least I felt safe and protected in my home. Until, that is, my husband picked up on the trend and was soon sharing his new ideas on how minimalism would revolutionize our lives.
“We don’t need to collect any more stuff, honey! We should now focus on collecting memorable life experiences instead. That’s what lives in our hearts and travels to the end of time with us. You know?”
Huh?
That’s very romantic, babe, I thought to myself, but I still want what I want which is swimming in a big fat shiny material world and nobody was going to change my mind about it, not even my soul-mate.
So it was obviously time to take out the big guns and put up my big guard against this whole minimalism business.
I had to protect myself. Everyone, it seemed, was out to strip me from my cherished, material things and to convince me that shopping for new clothes, beautiful shoes, and fancy makeup was a waste of time and money. And I wasn’t about to have any of that.
Becoming an Accidental Minimalist
And then something very peculiar happened.
My good friends Dan and Vanessa launched a podcast called “Simple life Together“ and I innocently tuned in. The idea of simple living drew me in like a magnet. It didn’t scare me like minimalism – in fact, initially, I didn’t draw the connection between the two at all.
I totally embraced this simple living concept. I started organizing my closets, donating my books and going paperless, and I loved it. And for some strange reason, my husband couldn’t be happier! “Thank you Dan and Vanessa” he would say over and over!
Then a few months later, I was vacationing in Chile and naturally, we went shopping. Or maybe I persuaded my hubby to take me shopping, I can’t remember which. Anyway, here I was, in this gorgeous shopping mall in the heart of Santiago, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything!
This resistance to shopping persisted to the very end of our trip and I left Chile without buying a single thing—which in my book is seriously abnormal. But I comforted myself. I was saving up for Istanbul, I reasoned, which was going to be my big shopping spree of the decade!
And to my utter shock, the same thing happened during my Istanbul trip. I was in the middle of the Grand Bazaar in the heart of one of the greatest cities in the Middle East, with money and time… and absolutely zero desire to shop.
On several occasions, I came ridiculously close to buying something following a bout of negotiation even my Dad would be proud of. But then I would just lose interest and have no desire to go through with the transaction.
I can’t tell you how baffling this felt. It felt as if I had traded my old self with someone else and I was watching in horror what this new person was doing, and wondering what on earth had happened to my old self.
Just for good measure, when I came home, I drove by myself to pick up some make-up. Nobody to bother me or to rush me. Nowhere to be but in the aisles of makeup after makeup with a long shopping list. All the time in the world to choose gorgeous new expensive makeup … and I walked out with a tiny lipstick!
That, dear friends, is how I became an accidental minimalist!
Your Inner Voice on Minimalism
I admit, it feels strange when a subconscious part of you drives your behavior and messes around with your inner desires. But it also feels good. And right to some extent. That subconscious part is our inner wisdom guiding us gently toward the best decisions of life as long as we listen and pay attention.
I am so glad I listened.
I did not intend for any of this to happen.
In fact, I had every intention to shop, to buy, to spend, and yet when push came to shove, I had lost all interest in doing so.
And now I get it. It feels good. It feels good to not buy, to not shop, and to not worry about what to buy and where to shop and instead, to simply go without. In fact, it feels better than what you feel an hour or a day after you buy something, you know, the low after you’ve come down from the high of shopping, the unfulfilled desire nudging you to go out and shop some more to feel better, the never-ending cycle of high-low from never quite having bought enough.
So for now, I am letting this accidental path take me along. Now, I can finally appreciate living simpler, living with less, and being all the better off as a result.
Now I understand the irony that our stuff, which was supposed to bring us happiness and joy, finds a sneaky way of trapping us. And our freedom, which we cherish and protect so much, gets silently trapped in all the mess.
Unless we pay attention because true freedom, it turns out, is in the intangibles that we can’t see or touch but feel. The stuff that we can’t put on shelves, but we can put in our hearts. And there, it can stay safely for a long time without taking up much space at all.
So I have lowered my guard, I have accepted the truth of this higher self which apparently knows me so well, and while I am far from calling myself one, I can honestly say that I am loving the path of becoming a minimalist.
What about you? How did you fall into minimalism? Was it with intention? Or do you have an accidental story to share? Let us know in the comments!
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Farnoosh Brock left a 12-year corporate career to start her own company, Prolific Living Inc. She is the author of several books including her latest, The Healthy Juicer’s Bible. You can also find her on Twitter or at her weekly podcast, The Daily Interaction.
Frank l Modern Monkey Mind says
For me it was one word: College. I took two extra years to get through, never lived in the same dorm building or college owned apartment two years in a row, and I had a bunch of clothes and a massive library.
After graduating I culled my library massively, and donated most of my wardrobe. Since graduating the only material stuff I’ve bought beyond necessities (food, toiletries, etc), and probably more books than I should have, were a yoga mat, blanket, and bolster. I’m planning to pick up a pair of yoga blocks and a strap, but there’s not really that much I need.
Farnoosh says
Frank, what a young minimalist. You could have taught my old college self a thing or two. Way to go. And glad we share the passion of yoga too. Enjoy your simple and perfect path – it’s a wise one!
Slackerjo says
I grew up in a cluttered, junk riddled household (not even interesting junk) and it stressed me out so much that my teenage rebellion was to avoid clutter and try and live with less stuff.I must have been the only teenager in the world to be yelled at for tidying.
Farnoosh says
Funny story …. That’s one way to become a minimalist :))!
Paula J says
Farnoosh,
What a great fall into simple living! I too (very recently) left my corporate job of 12 years to travel Europe this summer and then move to Bay Area to own my own business – to live a more inspired life. However, before coming to Europe, my boyfriend and I had to smoosh everything we owned into 2 small storage pods which enables us to live rent free for the 2 months we are here in Europe.
This is when the Grand Elimination began for me.
I’ve lived in 1 bedroom apartments since college and luckily have not amassed the large amount of stuff homeowners usually have – but I still had a lot of stuff. It took 2 full weeks (truly my new FT job since I had already left my corporate one) to go through, clean out and donate more than half of my belongings – quite a painful process.
The hardest thing to accept was not parting with my “beloved” free clothes or hand-me-down furniture I’ve received through the years. It was actually calculating the $3,000+ amount of things I’ve purchased for a couple of uses here and there, but ultimately had to give away. That could be another trip to Europe!
After all of this, I am committed to the 1 in, 1 out system my mom tried to teach me long ago – if I buy something then another thing I own has to go. And as a result, my desire to buy things over here in Europe have decreased as well – Just as you have experienced as well.
Thanks again for sharing this experience!
Best,
Paula
Farnoosh says
Paula, I too left my corporate job of 12 years in 2011!! Similar paths. :) And of course if you recall, minimalism is not very rampant in the corporate world …. I only remember my colleagues buying MORE – more boats, more houses, more cars, more and more ….. I love that you are living for experience now and I used to come to the Bay Area every month from the east coast. I don’t miss the corporate stuff but I do miss that area. Wishing you the best. Great rule by the way – I might have to start following. Wise Mom :)!
Mark Adam Douglass (Minimalist Couple) says
Oh, Farnoosh, what a fabulous story you have shared with us. For me, I have had quasi-minimalistic thoughts since my teens, but had them squeezed out of me by family, friends and the status quo. Finally, in my mid thirties, I discovered minimalism and simple living simultaneously, and have not looked back since. I love that I have no desire to shop and that I am now so focussed on creating, rather than consuming.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Mark
Farnoosh says
Mark, I took a peak at your blog. It’s nice to do this as a couple and to find out what’s beyond the consumption. Glad my story spoke to you and happy simple living to both of us :)!
Angie says
My journey into minimalism was kinda easy. I was married to a cranky guy that would get mad and brake all my stuff. After some time I ran out of stuff and wasn’t going to waste money buying more stuff for him to brake. We are no longer together but I don’t really buy a lot of new stuff. Mostly thrift store if I really need something. If I happen to buy something at a “REAL” store I will sit in my car for like 1hr crying about how I don’t need it and should just return it now.
Fun times in my head.. :0)
Peace (0:
~Simply dor says
Im sorry for your loss of your things, But they were Just THINGS & not YOU !
You are here TODAY !
& THAT is way MORE IMPORTANT than THINGS ;)
Farnoosh says
Angie, I’m sorry to hear that :( But now that you are out of that relationship, you can establish new associations with your own stuff and I hope you can sort through the confusion of buying/not-buying. Make it fun, not torture, my dear, and this is a process…..You will come through a winner. I just know it.
Angie says
Thanks you but I’m not sorry about any of it. I would rather make something then buy something, and that is my torture.. lol
I love it and I am so glad I made it out of that time in my life, but wouldn’t change one bit of it. Without it I would be the person I am today. Yes, I am a bit crazy :0) but I like me that way.. (0:
Peace
Karla McEvoy says
Five years ago I would have laughed if someone suggested I become minimalist. No way! I like my stuff. I want more! The simple living path spoke to me first. I liked the idea of slowing down and becoming less busy so I started to experiment with simplifying. Along the way, I realized that owning a lot of stuff was making things more complicated than I wanted them to be. I gradually started cutting back on shopping and also decluttered a good portion of my house. I love the freedom I have found from owning less. These days I like to think about how I can become more minimalist in my ways. Thank you for the post and good luck on your minimalist journey.
Farnoosh says
Seriously, Karla, I would have laughed at that a few months ago!! The freedom is really liberating and encouraging for even more minimalism, isn’t it? You are so right. I am wishing you the very best too. It’s great when it happens to us naturally… :)
Anna says
I am just recently (last few months) getting into reading about minimalism. It’s not so much that I want to be a minimalist, but I like the philosophys that it has. I know there is more extreme minimalist (have 100 things), but I just love the idea of less is more. I am expecting my 4th child next month, so it hasn’t been easy to really get into decluttering and deep cleaning. But I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff here and there.
I love reading blogs and books about it, because even though I will probalby never be a true minimalist, I love the way I feel after reading about it. I feel like it’s okay to get rid of stuff (like things that were given as gifts that you no longer want), it’s okay to get rid of something instead of “what if I need it someday” (which of course, then you buy it someday). I also feel like I’m doing a little better with the whole “do I really need it or should I wait and see if I need/want it in the future?”
And bonus: I know have a couple more blogs to follow from reading this post. Thanks.
Farnoosh says
Anna, I totally know what you mean – the idea behind it is alluring … a simple life! Less is More! And congratulations. Wow, that has got to be hard to do with kids. Asking the questions is where it all started. You’ll be just fine! Wishing you a lot of fun as you move forth on your journey….
Be sure to check out Joshua’s books, he has wonderful ones on this very topic….
Christy King says
Great post! This is my favorite line: “our stuff, which was supposed to bring us happiness and joy, finds a sneaky way of trapping us.” So very true.
Farnoosh says
Thanks Ms. Christy. Isn’t it the truth? Gotta be careful :)!
~Simply dor says
Here’s my story ~ ;)
I’m 47, married 23 yrs this Dec :) & hv 2 kids 21 & 17-1/2 yrs old.
I’ve always lived a Simple life, not being into Material Things Except my Handbags. I’ve Loved Handbags since I could walk. & they weren’t Really Name brand until Late 80’s Liz Claiborne then 90’s my Hubby got me a duck Purse ( Dooney & Bourke ) then after I heard he paid $209 for it ( I had already been using it for a week so too late to take bk :( )
I started thinking of All the Diapers n things I could hv bought with that :(( anyways since the 90’s now I only get a handbag if I get B-day or CHRISTmas $ or I sell a Bag to get 1 :)
& it has to be on Sale or from 2nd hand or Consignment or EBay & then. I must Sell 1 that I hv at Hm :) 1 in 1 out :)
I’ve always bought Clothes n things at Garage Sales & Thrift & Dept stores Clearance Racks…. & hv not been into Name Brands just want Nice Decent looking clothes but don’t wanna pay an arm n a leg for them :) most of my House is furnished this way or Hand me downs.
I’ve always felt this way ….I just don’t need alot of Stuff I don’t like Clutter at All & I Hate to DUST I don’t why, but its something I Really can’t stand to do :) & I do t like to spend alot of $ on something that’s not a needed item or that I could get similar at a garage sale or thrift or trade something for (eBay)
This last Thanksgiving 11/2012 I was standing inline @Target (Black Friday Sale) to get me a $49 Steam Mop & a few $3 & $4 DVDs for CHRISTmas gifts that’s a BIG Savings :) while standing there for 2-1/2 -3 hrs I started chatting with this YOUNG COUPLE :) (I’m old enough to be their Big Sister ) they were only there for a few Clothes & a game for their Children then said they were Minimalists…. I smiled & Felt so Stupid , but I asked them what’s a Minimalist I’ve never heard of that …. & they told me what it was I was standing there thinking WOW ! I’ve been this almost All of my Life … & never knew there was a Name for it …. So since then I was so taken back by this that I’ve been looking for more Ways to be More of a Minimalist :) I’m pretty much there tho. I’m really comfortable where I’m at right now. we already hv a Sm House 1140 sq ft :/ I DO wish my living room & Kitchen were open to each ther so I could visit with family when I’m cooking during the Holidays. But it’s Home, & I’ve raised 2 Beautiful Kids in with the Grace of GOD !
& still Looking for more ways to be minimalist all the Time . I’m not a Extreme only 100 things or 1 suitcase Minimalist ….. But I’m Just ME ! Simply dor :)
Farnoosh says
Hi Simply Dor, I love your story…….You’ve been a minimalist and didn’t know it. That’s a great story! And now you are claiming that title, I see. Thanks for sharing – you were born that way already….may you continue exploring your own path! I’m up for the journey, that’s for sure!
Anita Lim says
Thank you for a fantastic post.
I think I’ve been a minimalist at heart since I was a child. The rest of our home was always untidy & a bit chaotic, so I kept my room neat & I didn’t have that many possessions. I think that I find too much stuff visually distracting & busy on the eyes. I’m just about to embark on a declutter/simplify project of all my belongings & I can’t wait to see how much I get rid of :)
Farnoosh says
Hi Anita, thanks for being here. Decluttering is so much fun, enjoy it and you might just surprise yourself… have fun !