“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money.” —Abigail Van Buren
Toys. Sometimes, they feel like they are everywhere… like a never-ending army in a never-ending war.
Personally, over the past two years, we have taken intentional steps to minimize the number of toys in our home. Sometimes we feel like we are winning the battle, other days we feel like we are losing. But I did want to begin a conversation by offering some of the practical tips we have used to help minimize the number of toys in our home. Hopefully, you’ll have some helpful tips to add as well. And perhaps, we can encourage one another in the seemingly, never-ending battle against toy clutter.
To be fair, the exact “ideal number” of toys will vary from family to family (if there even is one). But hopefully, each of these tips will be helpful to those of you who know the ideal number is certainly less than you have today.
1. Be convinced that less is better. As with any minimalist (or simplifying) project, it always begins with a heartfelt belief that less is better and desirable. I’m assuming if you have read past the title of this post, you already believe this to be true when it comes to toys. But if not, take a moment to read, Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids.
2. Fewer toys is different than no toys. Toys can be educational and play an important role in a child’s development. Just to be clear, I’m not advocating no toys, I’m arguing for less.
3. Analyze your own motivation for purchasing toys. Most children don’t buy toys for themselves – somebody else does. If there are too many toys in your home, start with yourself. Why are there so many toys in your home? A healthy look at your own motivations may go a long-way in solving this problem.
4. Choose quality over quantity. You and your children will benefit more from toys that are chosen for their quality (in workmanship) and purpose (playability) than for their sheer quantity. And just like everything else in life, too many toys will always distract from the truly important ones.
5. Purge often. Most likely, you need to make a clean-sweep of your childrens’ toys right now. Removing the “low-hanging fruit” (toys that are no longer used) is a great place to start and shouldn’t take too long. Put the clean, unused toys in boxes and donate them to a medical center, nonprofit organization, local church, homeless shelter, orphanage, school, or Goodwill. Simply discard the dirty or broken ones. Then, stay on top of the clutter by purging on a regular basis and going beyond the low-hanging fruit.
6. Set a confined, physical space for toys. Whether it is a container, a shelving unit, or a closet, set a confined physical space for your children’s toys. Once the space is full, there is no room to add more toys. Help your children understand that principle by clearly marking the boundaries. If they want to add (think holidays and birthdays), they’ll need to remove first.
7. Limit your purchasing with a budget. If you budget for other categories in your life (groceries, clothing, entertainment), you already understand how this principle helps keep your spending and consumption in check. If you don’t, start today by setting a monthly/yearly budget for toys. Enforcing a predetermined budget amount will help in limiting your toy purchases.
8. Don’t give into fads. Just like clock-work, toy companies will generate a new “toy-fad” every few months by artificially generating a cultural buzz. If done well, this artificial buzz will become mainstream in the culture and no longer feel artificial. But it is. And it will always pass. You don’t need to give in just because every other parent is.
9. Keep a healthy, realistic attitude toward toy companies and toy stores. They may tell you that their main goal is to help or educate your child, but often times they are driven most by their bottom line.
10. Avoid duplicate toys. Instead, require your children to learn the invaluable life lessons of sharing, generosity, cooperation, and compromise.
11. Find a local toy library. Consider borrowing toys rather than purchasing them.
12. Watch less television. Consider the fact that marketers are brilliant at shaping the desires of men and women, young and old. Now, imagine giving them hours each day to shape your children’s minds too… and you’ll quickly realize that you don’t stand a chance. Make sure to limit the screen time for your kids.
13. Don’t give in to temper-tantrums at the store. Every time you give in to a temper-tantrum at the store just to avoid a scene, you embolden your child to do it again. They quickly learn how to manipulate you. Don’t worry about the scene that is taking place in public. Wise parents in the store will respect you for not giving in – and the foolish ones will learn a valuable lesson.
14. Equip your children to make wise choices. Involve your kids in the purging process. Help them make decisions about which toys should stay and which should go. This will serve them well into adulthood. After all, don’t you wish your parents had forced you to learn that skill?
15. Teach them to value other activities. Although all kids have natural tendencies towards certain endeavors, expand their mind by regularly introducing them to new activities that don’t revolve around toys.
16. Limit your toys too. Kids will always learn more from example than words. If your life is caught up in always needing to own the latest fashion, technology, or product on the market, theirs will be too. And it would be unreasonable to expect anything less.
Keeping fewer toys will never be easy. It will always require thought and intentionality. But it will always result in your children learning to value who they are more than what they have. And that always make it worth the effort.
Susan says
We stumbled upon an interesting way to handle too many toys! My son had received a set of screwdrivers as a gift during the holidays. One day, while he was playing alone in his room, he disassembled quite a few of his toys that had screws/electrical parts. He had more fun that day taking apart his toys and seeing how they were made. That was 3 years ago and he still loves taking things apart to see how they work. It was sort of his gateway into learning about computer chips, batteries, and a love of science! We remember it as “The great toy destroy of 2007”!
Suzanne says
Tried this once when my oldest daughter was young. Fifteen years later, she still reminds me that she gave away Pinkie Mouse. =(
Meg - Minimalist Woman says
It’s been 25 years since I’ve had to deal with the toy problem. 90% of it was over-generous family, because my son was the only little one amongst a family of many grandparents and great-aunts and great-uncles–it was clear that they got a huge kick out of shopping for toys. The Legos and simple wooden blocks were always played with, and books and art supplies never went to waste. Experiences, though, seem to stick more than toys.
When my son got a “big boy” bedroom, I had him help me build a generous-sized toybox (unlidded, of course) on casters, designed to fit under a long project table we set up for him. He did a pretty good job putting toys away on his own once he had that toybox. Then came video games…a whole ‘nother problem!
Claudine says
Excellent post, Joshua. Something we’ve done here (having visited, you probably remember the girls are not exactly lacking in toys!) is set aside things we think they are “done” with and see if they notice the missing items. If not, we will bring them out and have them “help” decide where or whom we’ll pass them on to. It’s an exercise both girls have been enthusiastic about because they realize the wider world isn’t always just about them. We certainly don’t want them to have “no” toys but they have learned the satisfaction of giving to others and now have gotten to a point where they will initiate the process of putting things aside when they come to the conclusion it would have a better home elsewhere.
TheSimplePoppy says
This list is priceless. It’s a battle in our home, and it has less to do with our children and more to do with family. I don’t buy toys anymore except for the holidays, even on birthdays. I know it sounds awful, but we always take them out for a fun experience and they get to pick what they want to eat and help make it; so they seem fine without birthday presents. We also make sure that all the toys are “smart” toys like Legos etc.
Martha says
Tickling a plant and watching it move can be more fun then any toy. We grew our first TickleMe Plant and my children were amazirf and excited when it grew leaves that moved like crazy when Tickled! Growing a TickleMe Plant is a great way to excited kids about gardening and nature. Just search TickleMe Plant to order the kit to grow it.
See the video and pass it on if you know anyone that is a plant love and or has kids.
coco says
my baby, who just turned 1 has a medium sized laundry basket for his toys. and that’s it. people act like it’s abuse. sheesh, back in the day kids were lucky to have a toy or 2. amazingly, he plays with all of them every day at some point.
my big boys also have one laundry basket for toys. it is filled with nerf guns and a couple balls. they do have a computer and an xbox though…with 5 people in a small space i just can’t tolerate excess stuff. my husband and i have very little stuff too.
Jess@minimalistmum says
It is also helpful not only to have a limited defined space for all your toys, but to have each toy have its own precise home.
This means
1. You can tell quite easily when you have too many toys – something doesn’t have a home
2. Your children will be able to do much more of their own toy tidying, and they’ll begin to REALLY learn why less is better!
I’ve been journeying this direction myself…
http://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html
Christy McEldowney says
I use Amazon.com’s universal wish list button. It’s free & easy to use at any website, not just Amazon.com. I keep a wishlist for myself, and my 2 kids. When a close relative or friends asks what to get them I just direct them to the list.
I love this article and can definitely relate to this issue. Very helpful!
Martha says
I agree that giving kids experiences is a really good alternative. I started taking my nieces out for their birthdays a couple of years ago to have a special day out instead of coming up with a gift, and I wish grandparents aunts and uncles would do the same with my kids. Christmas this year will be big with lots of family members around, and we’re already requesting alternatives to gifts for ourselves and our kids, but they always manage to sneak in a few anyway!!