“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” —Janice Maeditere
The holidays can be a most wonderful time of year. The season is often marked with family, tradition, and giving. And no matter our age, it stirs up fond memories and creates new ones. The holidays can indeed bring out the best in all of us.
But despite all the hope and preparation, often times, holiday expectations go unmet. Meals don’t turn out right. Kids get crabby. Family members bicker. Gifts are not received as fondly as we expected. And before we know it, shades of disappointment begin to creep in as we realize the season will not measure up to the pictures we had in our mind.
As we enter this final stretch before the holiday, is it possible to avoid this disappointment during the season? Of course it is. But it often takes some intentional steps on our part. Consider these:
12 Steps to Avoid Disappointment this Holiday Season.
1. Identify your main thing.
From food and decoration to presents and parties, the December is full of opportunity. But there is a very fine line between opportunity and distraction. Determine the main thing you want the season to represent. It may be based on religion, family, or rest. Whatever you decide, keep your main thing in sharp focus first.
2. Slow down.
Peace is rarely found in adding commitments and errands. So cut a few—on purpose.
3. Realize perfection is not possible.
Travel gets disrupted. Houses get messy. Kids want more presents. Family members bicker. This is life. And unless you are part of a magazine photo shoot, perfection is simply not possible. Stop expecting it.
4. Don’t push your expectations on to others.
We all have different expectations of how Christmas should be. Often times, these expectations are based on childhood memories. But we all have different childhood memories… so don’t assume everyone expects Christmas to look the same as you do. I’m all for developing traditions. But I’m against thinking everyone expects my traditions to become theirs.
5. Make room for rest.
Take a nap, retire to bed early one evening, or find a morning to sleep in later than normal. Running ragged to make everything perfect rarely results in perfection. Instead, it results in snippy attitudes, short tempers, and runny noses.
6. Offer forgiveness quickly.
People make mistakes. Be quick to offer forgiveness and mend broken relationships—whether the offense occurs today or happened many years ago. Take the step. Because holding on to ill-feelings towards another is one of the greatest sources of disappointment in life (and the holidays).
7. Remember memories are made in the mistakes.
Some of my fondest Christmas memories center on the mishaps that have occurred over the years: getting left at a department store with my cousin, discovering a Christmas gift early, my grandmother wrapping the gifts but forgetting to mark who they were for. These mishaps make me smile even today… we should also learn to smile when they are unfolding right in front of us.
8. Realize the meaning is in the giving, not the gift.
You won’t get everything you want this Christmas and conversely, you will get some things you don’t want. Put less emphasis on the gift in the wrapping. And put more emphasis on the fact that somebody thought you were special this holiday season. The gift is not the gift. The true gift is the giving… and the giver.
9. Admit you can’t change others.
We can set bold examples. We can look for teachable moments. We can offer advice when appropriate. But we can’t make decisions for others. They are going to choose options for their life we wish they wouldn’t. In those moments, remind yourself that you weren’t called to live their life, you were called to live your own.
10. Know when to stop.
From over-eating to over-drinking, knowing when to stop quickly becomes a lost art during the holiday season. But too much of a good thing quickly turns into a bad thing with lasting consequences. In almost every regard, for maximum enjoyment, embrace moderation.
11. Stay within your budget.
Avoid holiday disappointment by celebrating it within your means. This pertains to the number and extravagance of gifts. But should also extend to travel, celebration, and entertainment.
12. Embrace spirituality.
Regardless of your religious (or non-religious) preference, there is much more to this world than the things we see. Embrace spirituality this holiday season by championing love, hope, forgiveness, and grace. Rather than losing yourself in the hustle and bustle, find intentionality in remembering the heart of Christmas and celebrating the soul of everything good.
Helena says
Wow, I love this. I will be reading it again come December :)
Simon Black says
Christmas is always full of disappointment for people. Perhaps this is down to people expecting too much or perhaps this is down to the consumerist society in which we live.
msnomad says
Thanks for the list and for reminding me of what Christmas is truly all about. Merry Christmas Joshua! Greetings from one of your avid reader..
Kimberly says
Beautifully said!
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Cheri says
Joshua- Thank you for the list! You’re site has been such a blessing to me this year. My almost 13 year old daughter is working through Living With Less and she is really enjoying it. She has slowly been working on decluttering her room and is amazed at the peace she feels. It was just better for her to hear the message from you than just “her mom.” Also, through you I have discovered Jeff Goins and my long tucked away love for writing. I’m excited where that will take me. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!! Have a wonderful Christmas with your family and many blessings in the New Year.
Much grace and peace to you.
Pat Brooks says
What better time than now to simply tell you how much I value your words and your posts on Facebook. I have been working on minimizing my life for about 6 months and it’s taking me longer than I expected, but with your encouragement and insights, I am doing it a little at a time, one step at a time. Thank you for all that you do. May your Christmas be filled with Love and Peace.
Judith bragg says
Thank you so much for your blog.
The above twelve steps will remain with me, just perfect.
Helen says
Love this, especially number 4! Not everyone I know does gift giving, which is okay. I try to give them something small, or something homemade (like a jar of chutney), so they dont feel obligated to return a gift. So long as they understand part of what I love about Christmas is giving gifts.
Kristiann Lopez says
I need to remember that things don’t have to go the way I imagine to be wonderful. When you are with family and friends, with great food, and a few days off of work how could your holiday be bad? Thanks for the reminder!
Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) says
I find that when Christmas is heading downhill fast, the best pick-me-up is a nice glass of wine along with a rousing rendition of “Jingle Bell Rock” at the topic of my lung… opera style. If that doesn’t work, I threaten to punch my kids in the nose, which makes them crack up, thereby restoring my faith in humanity. “Children laughing” beats all hellz out of “People passing” and day of the year! :)
Maria says
My favorite Christmas tradition is eating oranges and cheese and crackers. We did it every year, even the three years when my parents didn’t have a lot of money. I also remember putting on a Christmas play every year with my siblings when we were little. Like Bob Hope says, the simplest things make people the happiest. I don’t always remember what I presents I got for Christmas, but I do remember things from each Christmas. Have a merry Christmas yourself!