Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Cheryl Moreau of Revive.
I have a problem with blank spaces. Whether it is an empty shelf in my closet or a pause in my conversation, I desire it to be filled. Filled with what? I’m not entirely sure. But I know when I leave it vacant, it feels like something is missing.
Can you relate? Take a look around the room you are in right now. How many shelves or surfaces are free of objects? If you are in public, how many people around you are NOT listening to music or texting?
I have a problem.
You have a problem.
Society has a problem with empty spaces.
Lately, I’ve been eliminating unloved and unused possessions from my home. The resulting empty shelves make me uncomfortable. What I am trying to ask myself is: why? Why would it bother me to have a nice, open, empty space instead of what used to be cramped, cluttered, and chaotic?
I think I have discovered at least one reason why we struggle with our blank spaces.
We focus too much on what’s not there, instead of what is.
Think about it. If you previously had a closet overflowing to the brim with articles of clothing, regardless of whether you ever wore most of them, what you saw when you looked in the closet was likely a person who was doing pretty well for themselves, even if you only acknowledged this in your subconscious. You also likely saw the opportunity for many choices. We love having choices. Even though too many choices only produces stress and dissatisfaction. We don’t care. We only know that ten shirts are better than three; and there’s always room for one more.
So when that is all taken away, we are faced with what remains: emptiness, lack of choice, desire.
Is that really what the blank space means? I don’t think so. At least not entirely. It’s all about perspective. If we choose to look beyond the emptiness, we will find something else entirely.
Freedom.
Freedom from being a slave to our stuff through cleaning, organizing, and worry.
Freedom in our finances to give, travel, and experience life more spontaneously.
Freedom in our spaces and homes to entertain, play, and live.
What happens when we apply the same perspective shift to our relationships, our thoughts, and our physical bodies? We begin to see our lives and our choices not for what we’re giving up, but for what we are gaining.
Blank space in our social activities means more time with family, more time to relax, and more time pursuing our passions.
Blank space in our thoughts means time to process what we’re doing, rather than just reacting to it. It means we can begin to develop opinions and values in regards to our choices, rather than just accepting what others tell us we should feel or do.
Blank space in regards to our bodies means being able to feel hunger again, and respond to our body’s cues, rather than assume we need to eat because we are bored. It also means not seeing what we miss out on when we make healthy choices, rather seeing what we gain: health, confidence, and a fitter body. Rest is also important, by not constantly putting strain on our bodies we are allowing ourselves time to recover and rejuvenate.
Each of us need to decide what we will focus on. Those blank spaces might feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, but just as a child requiring glasses needs to adapt to wearing them in order to have improved vision, we too will adapt, and then, will be able to see with more clarity than ever before.
Don’t see the emptiness in your blank spaces, see the possibilities.
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Cheryl Moreau and her husband blog at Revive where they challenge and help others eliminate the excess to leave room for excellence. You can also follow her on Twitter.
About Joshua Becker
I’m in the process of clearing out my house of the things I know longer use or enjoy. Every time something goes out, I happy dance in the space left behind. I’m loving the openness and keep looking for more things to let go of. I enjoyed them but now they are a burden and can be enjoyed by another.
That is very true, Nancy. I like to think of my loss as someone else’s gain. Though the more I get rid of, it feels like we both win as I am clearing out things I no longer use!
I feel the same! Everytime I pack stuff up to charity. When I see it leave with friends for re use, or people buy it from me. When it walks out the door I feel I can breath a little bit easier.
I’m an artist. I’ve often told people that you don’t need to fill every space in your room with art or pictures because the eye needs a place to rest. When you can do that, you appreciate the art that’s already there so much more. This article just gave substance to what I’ve believed all along. Thank you!
What a lovely perspective, Michele. Thanks for sharing that. Interesting that sometimes the beauty can be found not in what is there but in what is not. Have a great day.
Thanks, I am still working on the minimizing at home selling things to help the struggling in Uganda. This post was in perfect harmony with the homily I heard at Mass yesterday. It’s so important for us to create that space or quiet time in our lives, not to fill every moment being busy. This time will benefit us not only physically, but spiritually as well.
thank you Cheryl. I have just started on the road to minimalism and am in the process of clearing out the house. I am following ‘blonde on a budget’ and am counting the items I am removing. 157 so far! I am already getting nervous about the empty spaces. I have one drawer so far and I am ok with it. so far… Thank you for your thoughts as I know this post will help me embrace the space. I didn’t mean that to sound corny! I look forward to your blog when I get more ‘space’ and need reassuring! thanks again.
Thanks, Sheryl! Welcome to this new stage in your life. It can be overwhelming at times but know that you’re not living with less, you’re living with more. More freedom, time and energy. Nice to have you here with us.
Empty shelves bother me because they look wrong if they are completely empty (just get rid of the shelf) or unbalanced if other shelves are not empty.
I don’t want more shelves than I’m using, and if I’m not using it, I don’t need it.
I agree! I love empty the shelves, so I can get it out of my house. If it is left inside it will slowly fill up again. So my advice is. The less space to fill. The less you fill your space!!
I am actually the opposite – I love blank spaces! Blank walls, shelves, table tops, etc. I’ve had people come into my home and ask “Did you just move in?” Um – no.
Brilliant post, I find space gives me chance to breath and take stock. It is a hard process to be comfortable with but I am now embracing it and enjoying the smaller thing in life much more.
Having a special needs child, we have a lot of space-taking ‘apparatus’ we are constantly trying to ‘organize’. That responsibility alone has caused us to streamline all the other non-essentials purely for efficiency. My de-cluttering began though with scanning and photographing my older kids art work and old school papers, then giving them the ‘hard copies’ to toss if they wish. One kid was happy to toss, another still holding on … but we’re working on her LOL!
I LOVE this post. This is so me. We have recently accepted the minimalism lifestyle and I already find myself searching for those empty areas that could use ‘this or that’ but I think I will sit on my couch and just enjoy the space tonight :)
Thank you for this!
Thank you Brittany! I’m so glad the article resonated with you. Enjoy your space :-)
Love this post and am more inspired to make some empty space here, because we all feel better with empty space. I always notice this when we have had visitors (after a lot of tidying before they come) and we are all a little “hyper” with the open spaces in the living room when we are alone again, dancing, cartwheeling, twirling …
Same here Fiona.
I tell myself we need to treat ourselves more like visitors …
Great article! I quoted from it in my latest blog post here: http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/2015/01/a-house-of-order.html
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” One of my favorite quotes that this article affirms.
Just realised am very uncomfortable with empty spaces in my life…each person may see shelves n conversation emptiness…
But I am realising beyond that
Each time I break up….deciding to move on alone and find the possibilities behind the emptiness… I end up filling them some a few weeks later…
WHY DONT I SEE thE POSSIBILITIES BEHIND THE EMPTINESS THAN FILLING THEM FASTER….at least I may get a better fill which may last longer…..
This is so relevant to me right now! I just went through the process of decluttering my closet a couple of months ago, and for the first time in my adult life, I have so much space in my closet. It’s exhilarating and freeing, and the bonus is that it takes me so much less time to get ready in the morning because I don’t have to rifle around the “extras” to find the things I truly like to wear every day!
As someone whose day job involves design, we have a little saying in our world that goes a little something like this:
Embrace white space
And this saying goes further than design elements or clutter as noted in this piece.
If you have a moment of calm in your day it is not necessarily to fill it with noise or plug it up with ear buds.
Stop. Breathe. Enjoy it.
Embrace it.
Yes, Jeffrey, I agree. We love to embrace the “blank space” in our spaces, minds, bodies and also relationships. Making sure there is room to breathe in all aspects of our lives.
My goal has been and still is to remove anything I am not wearing, using or eating. Since I have not been ‘in love’ with any material possessions, I have no emotion to clear them out. The house is starting to feel more like a ‘Hotel Suite’ making so much space and a breeze to clean. It goes further, when I think about when I am dead and gone most of this material will end up in some landfill. When I go into a ‘cluttered’ area, I physically get dizzy. I love living lean and clean. I love the tips I get from this site. Thanks so much.
Love this concept. Thank you.
after years of decluttering, & with four kids at home (schooling), i crave space. crave cleared countertops & nothing on the floor & uncluttered shelves.
i’ve been wondering lately if that was normal.
because: i feel crazy when my spaces are jumbly & filled. i feel cramped when my kids have to maneuver around furniture & toys. AND. (this was the kicker.) i’ve been looked down on as lacking for having sparse furniture, as though success is signified by ample sitting space.
to me, success is having space in control, full of potential & calm, not stuff.
so, thank you for this. i feel less crazy. :)
You’re certainly not crazy, Jill! I can only imagine with 4 kids at home (and home-schooling too!) you are desiring clear spaces. If anyone comments about lacking seating, just tell them that there’s always room on the floor (presuming it’s been cleared of toys as well :-) I don’t know why we’re so worried about sitting on the floor but it can be a very comfortable thing to do!
Cheryl, great post!
The part that spoke to me was equating blank space as a kind of freedom.
To me, gaining more freedom is what the process of striving toward simplicity is all about.
Empty space–gives a place for your eyes to rest.
Very nice, Cheryl. Such a necessary perspective! One of most wonderful feelings is having a blank space in a conversation—or in someone’s presence—without feeling the need to say something.
I’ve always loved this quote by John Ruskin: “There is no music in a ‘rest’ but there’s the making of music in it. And people are always missing that part of the life melody.”
Thanks for sharing, Wayne. That is a beautiful quote and so appropriate for me as I love music!
I’ve always been drawn to empty spaces. Thank you for this post. You have inspired me to keep that in my minds-eye as I continue on my journey to clean it up and clear it out! :)
Great post, Cheryl!
My favorite line: “Don’t see the emptiness in your blank spaces, see the possibilities.”
I agree with you Mike, I love that line!
J
F
I agree that I love what my kids do with empty spaces. Walls with no furniture get turned into backdrops for “productions” empty closet shelves and floors get turned into forts and secret bases.
Open, empty spaces lower my anxiety. There is no to-do list sitting there.
Wow, this post came at the perfect time. I moved into my condo last week and I have a lot of empty space in there, that like you said, I felt compelled to fill. Now that I read this post, I realized that I have been trying to fill the empty space without any real purpose to the filling. Maybe I am trying to fill another empty space (inside of me?). Thank you for pointing out the fault in that thinking. I am going to think of the possibilities in empty spaces, rather than the emptiness itself.
I’m in that uncomfortable space now, I’ve cleared the clutter from my home and schedule and now I have to decide what my priorities are and what to do with my free time. We are deciding if we should have a 3rd baby. Babies take lots of time and so do kids. Do I want another to fill the awkward blank spaces or was it that once I decluttered I saw there was room in my life for one more?
Blank space and silence – two vital things that make most people uncomfortable yet provide liberation and insight
Silence is golden.
This is a great post. I find it interesting to watch what my children do with blank spaces as they work much easily on intuition. I recently cleared my son’s closet shelves where his toys are stored, leaving two empty shelves. He is delighted with this space and uses them to crawl into and play. I often find a child on each shelf with the closet door closed, lol.
I also remember once at the end of a sports event, same son being so excited when the sports hall cleared and he had a whole empty space to run around by himself.
Children find a lot of freedom in empty space. It is such a shame when we fill that space with stuff.
Thank-you, Karen!
I love what you shared about your children playing in those “blank spaces” the same thing happens in my house! I actually have an empty bookshelf that my daughter uses for both a make-shift dollhouse to a couch for her stuffed animals. Thanks for reading!
So true, blank spaces give you lots of possibilities!
When I started with minimalism, whenever I saw a blank space I got nervous, but over time – the more I got into minimalism – I couldn’t be without blank spaces anymore.
Now, if there is no blank space things become overwhelming to me and have to be cleared. I think there is a beauty in omitting things sometimes.