Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Cheryl Moreau of Revive.
I have a problem with blank spaces. Whether it is an empty shelf in my closet or a pause in my conversation, I desire it to be filled. Filled with what? I’m not entirely sure. But I know when I leave it vacant, it feels like something is missing.
Can you relate? Take a look around the room you are in right now. How many shelves or surfaces are free of objects? If you are in public, how many people around you are NOT listening to music or texting?
I have a problem.
You have a problem.
Society has a problem with empty spaces.
Lately, I’ve been eliminating unloved and unused possessions from my home. The resulting empty shelves make me uncomfortable. What I am trying to ask myself is: why? Why would it bother me to have a nice, open, empty space instead of what used to be cramped, cluttered, and chaotic?
I think I have discovered at least one reason why we struggle with our blank spaces.
We focus too much on what’s not there, instead of what is.
Think about it. If you previously had a closet overflowing to the brim with articles of clothing, regardless of whether you ever wore most of them, what you saw when you looked in the closet was likely a person who was doing pretty well for themselves, even if you only acknowledged this in your subconscious. You also likely saw the opportunity for many choices. We love having choices. Even though too many choices only produces stress and dissatisfaction. We don’t care. We only know that ten shirts are better than three; and there’s always room for one more.
So when that is all taken away, we are faced with what remains: emptiness, lack of choice, desire.
Is that really what the blank space means? I don’t think so. At least not entirely. It’s all about perspective. If we choose to look beyond the emptiness, we will find something else entirely.
Freedom.
Freedom from being a slave to our stuff through cleaning, organizing, and worry.
Freedom in our finances to give, travel, and experience life more spontaneously.
Freedom in our spaces and homes to entertain, play, and live.
What happens when we apply the same perspective shift to our relationships, our thoughts, and our physical bodies? We begin to see our lives and our choices not for what we’re giving up, but for what we are gaining.
Blank space in our social activities means more time with family, more time to relax, and more time pursuing our passions.
Blank space in our thoughts means time to process what we’re doing, rather than just reacting to it. It means we can begin to develop opinions and values in regards to our choices, rather than just accepting what others tell us we should feel or do.
Blank space in regards to our bodies means being able to feel hunger again, and respond to our body’s cues, rather than assume we need to eat because we are bored. It also means not seeing what we miss out on when we make healthy choices, rather seeing what we gain: health, confidence, and a fitter body. Rest is also important, by not constantly putting strain on our bodies we are allowing ourselves time to recover and rejuvenate.
Each of us need to decide what we will focus on. Those blank spaces might feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, but just as a child requiring glasses needs to adapt to wearing them in order to have improved vision, we too will adapt, and then, will be able to see with more clarity than ever before.
Don’t see the emptiness in your blank spaces, see the possibilities.
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Cheryl Moreau and her husband blog at Revive where they challenge and help others eliminate the excess to leave room for excellence. You can also follow her on Twitter.
Fiona says
Love this post and am more inspired to make some empty space here, because we all feel better with empty space. I always notice this when we have had visitors (after a lot of tidying before they come) and we are all a little “hyper” with the open spaces in the living room when we are alone again, dancing, cartwheeling, twirling …
jo says
Same here Fiona.
I tell myself we need to treat ourselves more like visitors …
Kathryn says
Great article! I quoted from it in my latest blog post here: http://heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com/2015/01/a-house-of-order.html
Arlen says
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” One of my favorite quotes that this article affirms.
tammanah bhatia says
Just realised am very uncomfortable with empty spaces in my life…each person may see shelves n conversation emptiness…
But I am realising beyond that
Each time I break up….deciding to move on alone and find the possibilities behind the emptiness… I end up filling them some a few weeks later…
WHY DONT I SEE thE POSSIBILITIES BEHIND THE EMPTINESS THAN FILLING THEM FASTER….at least I may get a better fill which may last longer…..
Christina @ Embracing Simple says
This is so relevant to me right now! I just went through the process of decluttering my closet a couple of months ago, and for the first time in my adult life, I have so much space in my closet. It’s exhilarating and freeing, and the bonus is that it takes me so much less time to get ready in the morning because I don’t have to rifle around the “extras” to find the things I truly like to wear every day!
Jeffrey Pillow says
As someone whose day job involves design, we have a little saying in our world that goes a little something like this:
Embrace white space
And this saying goes further than design elements or clutter as noted in this piece.
If you have a moment of calm in your day it is not necessarily to fill it with noise or plug it up with ear buds.
Stop. Breathe. Enjoy it.
Embrace it.
Cheryl says
Yes, Jeffrey, I agree. We love to embrace the “blank space” in our spaces, minds, bodies and also relationships. Making sure there is room to breathe in all aspects of our lives.
Susan Zimmer says
My goal has been and still is to remove anything I am not wearing, using or eating. Since I have not been ‘in love’ with any material possessions, I have no emotion to clear them out. The house is starting to feel more like a ‘Hotel Suite’ making so much space and a breeze to clean. It goes further, when I think about when I am dead and gone most of this material will end up in some landfill. When I go into a ‘cluttered’ area, I physically get dizzy. I love living lean and clean. I love the tips I get from this site. Thanks so much.
Calvin Koepke says
Love this concept. Thank you.
jill britz says
after years of decluttering, & with four kids at home (schooling), i crave space. crave cleared countertops & nothing on the floor & uncluttered shelves.
i’ve been wondering lately if that was normal.
because: i feel crazy when my spaces are jumbly & filled. i feel cramped when my kids have to maneuver around furniture & toys. AND. (this was the kicker.) i’ve been looked down on as lacking for having sparse furniture, as though success is signified by ample sitting space.
to me, success is having space in control, full of potential & calm, not stuff.
so, thank you for this. i feel less crazy. :)
Cheryl says
You’re certainly not crazy, Jill! I can only imagine with 4 kids at home (and home-schooling too!) you are desiring clear spaces. If anyone comments about lacking seating, just tell them that there’s always room on the floor (presuming it’s been cleared of toys as well :-) I don’t know why we’re so worried about sitting on the floor but it can be a very comfortable thing to do!
Chris Wehkamp says
Cheryl, great post!
The part that spoke to me was equating blank space as a kind of freedom.
To me, gaining more freedom is what the process of striving toward simplicity is all about.