“If you make a habit of buying things you do not need, you will soon be selling things you do.” —Filipino Proverb
Our experiences hint at it. Studies confirm it.
Buying material things don’t make us happy.
The pursuit and purchase of physical possessions will never fully satisfy our desire for happiness. It may result in temporary joy for some, but the happiness found in buying a new item rarely lasts longer than a few days. Researchers even have a phrase for this temporary fulfillment: retail therapy.
There are many reasons buying more material things won’t make us happy.
9 Reasons Buying Material Things Won’t Make You Happy
1. They all begin to fade. All possessions are temporary by nature. They look shiny and new in the store. But immediately, as soon as the package is opened, they begin to perish, spoil, or fade.
2. There is always something new right around the corner. New models, new styles, new improvements, and new features. From clothes and cars to kitchen gadgets and technology, our world moves forward. And planned obsolescence makes sure our most recent purchase will be out of use sooner rather than later.
3. Each purchase adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we bring into our lives represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen.
4. Possessions require maintenance. The things we own require time, energy, and focus. They need to be cleaned, organized, managed, and maintained. And as a result, they often distract us from the things that truly do bring us lasting happiness.
5. Our purchases cost us more than we realize. In stores, products are measured in dollars and cents. But as Henry David Thoreau once said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” We don’t buy things with money, we buy them with hours from our lives.
6. We discover other people aren’t all that impressed. Subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously), we expect our newest purchases will impress other people. They will notice our new car, computer, jacket, or shoes. But most of the time, they are less impressed than we think. Instead, most of them are too busy trying to impress you with their newest purchase.
7. Someone else always has more. The search for happiness in possessions is always short-lived because it is based on faulty reasoning that buckles under its own weight. If happiness is found in buying material things and more stuff, those with more will always be happier. The game can never be won.
8. Shopping does not quench our desire for contentment. Contentment is never found in the purchase of more stuff. Our overflowing closets and drawers stand as proof. No matter how much we get, it’s never enough.
9. Experiences make us happier than possessions. All research points to the fact there are far more effective way to find happiness: enjoying life-changing experiences, for example.
And 1 Thing that Might
Adyashanti, the American-born spiritual teacher, offers a theory as to why the acquisition of new possessions provides only a temporal feeling of happiness. He explains it this way:
When we make a purchase and/or get what we want, we are temporarily happy and fulfilled. But the reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of time, we stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.
On the topic of buying stuff, his thoughts are helpful. And I have repeated his theory dozens of times in private conversations. Of course, the natural conclusion of this thinking is to limit our desires and wants—to find peace and happiness by not wanting.
But for me, this conclusion falls short.
The goal of minimalism is not to remove desire entirely from my life. Instead, the goal of minimalism is to redirect my desires.
There are valuable pursuits available to us: love, justice, faith, compassion, contribution, redemption, just to name a few. These should be pursued with great fervor. But far too often, we trade the pursuit of lasting fulfillment for temporary happiness. We can do better. We can dream bigger.
Redirect your desires toward lasting pursuits. Find happiness there.
You will never find the right things looking in the wrong places. (tweet that)
Last night at my Toastmasters meeting I was the chairperson, and my chosen theme for the evening was “Simple Living/Minimalism”. I was able to share many of the ideas that you wrote about in this article (and others you’ve posted).
P.s.
I would also like to say that my minimalism journey is not only about becoming more frugal and opening up a once cluttered environment, but it is progressively changing who I am for the better. My overall perspective on what it means to live and what life has to offer…or rather, what I have to offer within this life. It takes baby steps, and I am beginning to see my faults. Now that I can see, I can begin to correct :-)
Lisa, I feel very much the same way.
Oh gosh. yes. I had a moment of turmoil where I didn’t know if I was being frugal, stingy or just really aware if this object would be a good tool in my daily life.
This is a good list to hold against the decision making process though. Thanks!
I had a small relapse yesterday. Believe me when I say I thought of this blog. I cut my impulse spending and stuck to the few things I intended to buy, however, I could have did without. I will keep my long-time favorite perfumes, but I will buy no more (I tell myself).
A work in progress!
I have donated a good portion of my unused shoes, clothes, books, perfumes, jewelry, and hair products/tools in the past 5 weeks. But I just don’t feel like this journey is over. I crave more open space. I do enjoy the challenge of spending less, and if I make a purchase, it must be of quality.
Thank you for the inspiration
I have been ecstatically happy for over 20 years, after grown children and divorce.
I own nothing.
I used to say I wanted only what I can put in an airline carry-on bag.
Now, I only want to own what I can carry on to the next life, (i.e. experiences, knowledge, ponderings, reflections, and so on).
To quote a dear friend: “If I were any happier, I couldn’t stand it.”
First off, I enjoy the site however I would like to make a comment.
It’s interesting to note most of your articles are about minimalism, in itself that isn’t a bad thing. But it seems your desire to accumulate possessions and buy things has just been replaced by your obsession with being a “minimalist”. All the writing appeals to people because your not actually fixing the problem, it’s all about buying things, things, getting rid of things. I don’t understand how minimalism needs books, guides, support groups and blogs such as this. Minimalism should be lived and not talked about 24 /7. It’s good to occasionally remind people of the benefits, but when it takes over our time when we spend time being minimalists, it’s just a waste.
The point – Stop buying what you don’t need, buy only a few things you really want, keep a tidy, clean organised house, get rid of things you don’t use, wear, need or want. Stop focusing on the lack of physical possessions as something to be PROUD of, and start actually focusing on the personal triumphs.
Don’t let minimalism REPLACE consumerism, and become and obsession. Learn to truly let go, and you will be more than just surface happy ( the true message of fight club which people keep quoting as if it’s actually something to live by ) . Focus on your loved one, your children, your job, your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual health. Then you can celebrate the fruits of being a minimalist, rather than just celebrating and obsessing over how you only have 2 forks.
I agree. Many take it too far for too long. People here and on other minimalist sites I have looked in on talk constantly about ‘purging’. That gives me the creeps. Buy buy buy and then purge purge purge in some never ending loop. I am on here and so are you so I guess we have some culpability but I like to look for inspirational thoughts to help people in my small informal downsizing ‘business’. I work for baseball tickets and nice dinners out never for cash. My name gets passed along by friends of friends of friends!
Downsizing and reordering your priorities about the relationship of stuff versus experiences is definitely a process but one that should not always involving ‘purges’. If it does you are not understanding or internalizing the reasons for reducing your ownership of objects. There should be a clear definable end to downsizing. Where you no longer need to revisit sites like these.
That said these sites are wonderful to help people take control over their minds and lives. And Joshua’s is exceptionally good IMHO. There is just an endpoint to the ‘therapy’ or should be….
This is very true. That’s why I’m embracing living in simplicity
I think the fifth point about things costing us more than we realize is a real eye opener. I’m from India and here people spend huge on weddings. I know weddings are an important part of anyone’s life, but spending more than you can earn in 2-3 years time is just being careless. It’s almost a tradition here and is carried out even if the family in question is concerned about their financial health.
I embrace the whole idea of minimalism but am struggling with the decision of when to retire from my career of 25 years. Financially it is a no brainer. If I stay another five years I will have considerably more money for the rest of my life, but I am turning 60 and would like to be able to do some of the things I’ve always wanted to do before sickness or age prevents me from doing so. If I retire now I know we won’t starve but I’m afraid I will wish I had more money for travel, etc. I keep wavering back and forth on this decision. Help!
My dad took a early retirement at 60yrs. He lived to 68 yrs. The eight yrs. were wonderful! We never know how long we have.
Well hello Joshua, I am certainly guilty of retail therapy and as you point out the long term issues it creates far outweigh the temporary joy of the attainment.
Rather we should redirect our thoughts to what we have rather what we don’t, for instance does the car we have meet our needs? If so then what is driving us to stretch ourselves for the latest model, peer pressure or our own ego that links the ability to purchase with success.
igor
Brilliant post Joshua! I love the last bit on 1 thing we can do better! I love the reminder that we CAN do better!!! I know this to be true. Dreaming bigger already with heart wide open! With love and gratitude, Heather
Thanks for these tips. I have made my life so simple, that made so liberated and free. I am not jealous anymore with the gadgets and new things of my co-workers. Sometimes I hate shopping malls already. I wish there are more libraries than shopping malls. The only habit that is so life-changing for me is reading books especially self help books. And another habit too is reading articles in http://www.becomingminimalist.com. I even would like to go back to the primitive life of early people. Simply good. I still have gadgets. The gadgets in my possessions are the most important and they are lasting decades with me. Nowadays, I have no interest with any gadget except Kindle E-book reader and Headphone for my music. Thanks Sir Joshua.
So true. I truly believe that when we make changes to remove something in our lives, we need something else to fill the hole that is left behind. Redirecting ourselves towards love is a high calling. In the yogic tradition that is Bhakti. You have a Bhakti heart Joshua. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Christina
Perfectly brilliant! Thank you. You help me get it…
While I agree with you on the whole and certainly with the drive of consumerism to buy, buy, buy, I have to add one caveat. That is by buying or creating art one need not hedonically adapt to stuff. I have four beautiful bookcases and store a fabulous collection of books I love, both for inormation and enjoyment. I also have a collection of five hand made Persion rugs. It doesn’t matter how often I walk through my sitting room I always smile when I look at my books and rugs. I’ve been enoying them daily for more than a decade now and I don’t stop enjoying them. I also enjoy the results of my embroidery. Its not quite good enough to be considered art, though it is certainly quality craft and made into household products of both beauty and usefulness. So buying to make one feel better, no. But buying carefully chosen products you really enjoy can and does improve my day to day quality of life.
Agreed, keep the treasures, and ditch the rest.
Heck I just spent $64 dollars to mail a box that weighed 34 lbs! What’s in the box?
Namebrand shirts , some still has price tags , reminded me of how mindlessly i used to
buy stuff. As if in a trance programmed to buy more, more, more! I shipped it away so that someone else will find those clothing items useful. Because somewhere along I forgot the reason why i needed all those shirts. I am awake now, i am no longer in a trance.
Hi Josh, retail therapy and buying for happiness won’t work. If we are basing our worth, our happiness or our fulfillment on purchases, there’s a problem.
But buying stuff in and of itself isn’t bad if we have a healthy approach to it. I purchase things to make my life easier, more comfortable or help me improve myself in some way. I take time to make the decision, research it and then make the purchase. And only when I absolutely need to. Last year, I probably bought 2 pieces of clothing – not for the sake of happiness but out of necessity (and comfort!)
How about a middle ground – mindful buying for comfort/practicality?
Like you, I now only buy things when I absolutely need to, or at least I try to. Having said that, from what I read I didn’t sense the feeling that he’s saying that people should stop buying things altogether or that buying stuff itself is a bad thing. He’s just saying that don’t try to pursue happiness through buying and acquiring material things. So I think buying things out of absolute necessity is definitely okay.
Another great post! To me these are all true and the 2 that have stood out to me for a long time are “Our purchases cost us more than we realize”, that price is time and we don’t get time back. Time away from those we love, time away from doing what we enjoy. And also “Experiences make us happier than possessions” which is connected to the first one, to me. If for example I say no to desired, unneeded purchase I get to say yes to to being with loved ones, yes to gas $ for volunteering my time doing something with more personal meaning, and growth. Yes to the things that bring me joy, happiness and a sense that hopefully I’m helping others.
And then there are Jesus’ famous words on the subject: “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving…” Food for thought.
After two years in dabbling and applying minimalism in my life, I am beginning to realize that the happiness doesn’t lie in giving things up or wanting more things. At first I really thought if I downsized, I would find my happiness. After all, so many people that advocate for minimalism are. What I didn’t immediately realize was that the direction in which happiness is sought for is redirected. Just as you mentioned—passion, love, compassion, etc., are the things to consume in our lives for a more fulfilling one. Thank you for sharing this.
“Redirect your desires toward lasting pursuits. Find happiness there.”
So easy and yet so difficult.
Your arguments about why buying stuff won’t make us happy are absolutely right I think. Nevertheless, when we don’t follow the direction of happiness that is given by society and that most of the people seem to follow, the question is: What does make you happy? What is such a “lasting pursuit”? A question I am still ultimately stuggling to find the answer to. Quick happiness is achieved easily, but long-term happiness is so difficult!
I’m normally one of the choir you are preaching to. I still am, in the sense that my desires for “more, more, more” have definitely been redirected. But yesterday I did something I rarely do — bought two new books at a bookstore. I took my daughter with me. We had a wonderful time together.
Sure, as soon as I crack open the book, it will begin to look less new. But I bought the book specifically so I could interact with it by marking in it, something I do not do with library books.
I’ve decluttered a bunch of books out of my home and I’m glad I did. But it is very important to me to stay pliable and open to experiences. If I pursue minimalism too drastically, with my temperament, I can get extreme in my thinking.
I didn’t buy these books because I was looking for happiness. Nor was I under any illusion that buying them was going to make me a happier person. But the whole experience, including especially sharing it with my daughter, was a lovely thing.
I love what josh is doing and I appreciate this resource. I just thought of respond today with how this honestly struck me.
Susan, I like what you said. It sounds like buying those books is going to be a gratifying experience for you because you will read them and take the time to mark them up.
I’ve bought my share of things that didn’t deliver, but more often I’ve bought great things that I didn’t take the time to sit down with. It wasn’t that the stuff was inherently unsatisfying, it was me, not reading the instructions or developing skill with it or not learning all the features. So sometimes it’s lack of patience and motivation that causes us to flit from one new thing to the next.
We tend to be “minimalists” in terms of purchases, but book buying is not where I practice minimalism–and since you are a parent (as I am) they really are special for many reasons (as you’ve shared).
Book are not merely a product they encapsulate new and old ideas, morals, history, and imagination (just to name few). They are not only a source of entertainment but are also a source of enlightenment. I am an English teacher and for my own children I know that books will provide them with a better life and homes that are “literacy rich” homes (simply meaning you’ve got a whole lot of books available) are homes where children do better academically regardless of household income.
We do use our library cards a lot, and I’ve been known to donate books we have outgrown to reduce clutter. However, I make sure that we have good literature available 24/7 in our home library–accessible to little fingers and growing minds everyday.
I think minimalism is reducing what is not important and giving honor to what is important.
Susan, your books added a piece of happiness to your life that day and it took a few dollars to do it, and they will continue to bring you happiness I bet. Resources are best spent on what makes us happier, and on some days money does lead us to happiness–we just can’t believe money can provide it everyday–that is where I think society takes a tumble. Thanks for sharing:)
Books are friends, you can never have too many. Some are more valuable than others,
Love your comment John. So true.
Susan, every time you look at that book, you are not only going to enjoy the book itself again and again, you are going to relive the wonderful time you had with your daughter that day. Isn’t it great that when your life takes on a minimalist attitude, you have the time to enjoy such things without the clutter.
The concept of exchanging your life hours for your purchases really hit a chord with me when I first read about it. I was shocked because I realized just how much time I spent slogging away at work for each purchase, no matter how minor. From then on, figuring out the life hours for each purchase puts things into perspective and I end up not buying most of those items. I also love the idea of redirecting your desires. I direct them towards building more experiences and working towards financial freedom. Thanks for the post!
As a society, we have managed to convince ourselves that our self-worth and happiness are contingent on what we possess, but this false thinking has driven so many people into insurmountable debt and suicide. – http://msshayera.blogspot.com/2014/02/debt-what-is-it-good-for-absolutely.html
There’s the saying “The things you own end up owning you.” and I think there’s more than the proverbial grain of truth in these words. Shopping seems to be the modern mantra reciting a certain formula of freedom and happiness. We kind of justify being part of the “rat race” and tend to clutter our life with things that fill the awkward emptiness…
I also really like the Thoreau, I didn’t know that one before. However, it reminds me very much of the good old Robert Louis Stevenson quote “The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty.”…
Thanks again for your morning inspiration Josh and have a good one! :)
Thanks for the reminder. I find myself drawn to both minimalism AND shopping, alternately! Part of the process of becoming more minimalist, I guess. I buy less, and choose more thoughtfully than I used to, and resist items, but retail therapy still works for me far better than I would like … mostly window shopping, of course, the thrill of the chase … and habit. I’m slowly making changes, such as doing my grocery shopping away from the big mall/shopping centre, so less temptation from other stores, and more time for more meaningful things in life. I think part of our problem is a lack of other physical things to do in the suburbs, especially if the weather outside is not great – it’s just too easy to go shopping.
Fiona: I am same way, but mainlu go for end of season clearance going on now, with major markdowns. Then I pull out older stuff and donate to various group homes in my area twice a yr. Can’t understand why people store unwanted stuff and stash it somewhere and forget it. If stuff is not being used, it’s passed on in usable cond.. I don’t care to compete with anyone, since I live a non social life (retired) and have hobbies (reading and computer) at home. We are outdoor types and do hiking, bicycling, going to local parks, gardens, etc. I hate house clutter and my style is minimalist/contemporary.
Stating you’re not trying to compete with anyone and you’re living a non social life, and yet ironically being on this site. Knowing the particular name for the lifestyle you’re trying to pursue. That’s odd.
I do this too. :-) But I try to operate by the “one in, one out” rule when I do shop. I also try and ask myself “Do I have something that performs this task already?” Like now, for instance, I really have this new shampoo I want to try, but eesh, I have 2 other sets still in my cabinet. When they’re gone, I will buy the new shampoo. And that is my reward!