Holidays are holidays and traditions are traditions.
But traditions are not the holiday. And this is an important distinction.
Traditions help us celebrate and honor recurring events in our lives. Whether we are setting aside a day for gratitude or setting aside an entire season to celebrate faith, family, or both. Traditions should draw our attention to the underlying reason for the season.
Traditions should not detract from the season, they should elevate it.
Maybe Rachel Jonat said it best, “We don’t have to continue holiday traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and tired.”
This is an important truth and paradigm-shifting realization. If a tradition is not serving us and enhancing our family’s enjoyment of a holiday, there is no reason to continue it. Traditions that leave us tired, broke, or stressed should be ended.
This may be only a minor point, except it seems many of our most culturally-accepted traditions have become more of a burden than a blessing.
For example:
Nearly 7 in 10 Americans (69%) said they would skip exchanging gifts this holiday season if their friends and family agreed to it.
A majority of those who spend time buying or making gifts (60%) said they would spend more time with friends and family if they didn’t have to worry about gifts.
43% of those who spend money on anything related to the holidays said they feel pressured to spend more than they can afford.
As the holiday season approaches, the pressure to spend spikes. As a result, 24% of holiday shoppers say they overspent their holiday budget in 2016 and 27% admit to not making a budget at all.
During 2016, 63% of Baby Boomers took on debt to finance the holiday season. Other generations took on debt as well, including 58% of Gen-Xers and 40% of Millennials.
But it gets even worse, an alarming number of shoppers are still paying off debt from last Christmas. 24% of Millennials still haven’t paid off credit card debt incurred during the 2016 shopping season, while 16% of Gen-Xers haven’t.
When asked what they enjoy and/or dislike the most about the holidays, Americans’ top three answers about what they like least involve purchases: commercialism/materialism, financial worry, shopping and crowds.
Also, fascinatingly, during the holiday season, people spend less time eating and socializing with friends. The things we enjoy the most are being pushed aside by the things we enjoy the least.
To top it off, 70% of Americans will rush out shopping on days immediately following an entire holiday dedicated to being thankful for all the things we already have.
When I speak of minimalism, I define it as the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.
This principle should wisely be applied to the holiday traditions and expectations we choose to participate in.
Just because everyone is rushing out to shop on Black Friday, doesn’t mean you need to. You can choose to spend that day differently and create prouder memories with your family.
Just because a percentage of your friends are going into debt to finance their holiday, doesn’t mean you need to. You can choose to celebrate within your means and enter the new year with peace.
Just because your neighbors are stockpiling Christmas presents for their children, doesn’t mean you need to. You can choose a simpler approach to spend more time and money with your kids, rather than on them.
Just because your family has always celebrated Christmas one way, doesn’t mean the expectations can never change. You can be the first to boldly propose something new. And given the fact that 70% of us would gladly skip exchanging gifts if everyone agreed… your family may thank you for bringing up the idea.
I am not anti-holiday. I am pro-holiday.
And I am not anti-tradition. I am pro-tradition.
But traditions should add to our holiday experience, not subtract from it.
Perhaps stately more clearly, I am pro-every tradition that reminds me again of the reason for the season.
We would each be wise to reevaluate the cultural, family, and personal traditions that have become part of our holiday celebration. And choose only those that serve us and add value.
Sandy says
This is really a great way of thinking. I just loved the thought. Awesome blog
adrian rackham says
Why is it that at Christmas time that in the UK every relation or family member asks “what do you want for Xmas?” that question is the automatic “stress me out * question! Through out the year we are struggling to find cash to pay for essential items (ie: cookers, repairs to vehicles, washing machines etc),So what do we do? Put everything on finance. Christmas was never ment to put people in debt, use your Xmas money open a savings account use it for what you need through out the year it may help you to stay out of debt.
Nadine says
My family has a tradition of buying really over the top silly gifts (average cost $5). We place them around the fireplace when no one is looking and draw numbers to see who gets to pick the first gift. Only after you open the gift do you find out who the giver is. We have one gift we have passed around for over 20 yrs and whoever gets it has the best laugh! Usually after eating dinner and our silly gifts are opened we play board games for the rest of the night. My grandchildren seem to really enjoy all of this. Our biggest blessing is just to be together and have a few laughs. I should add here we also have “real” gifts but we stay within a modest budget.
Cathy says
Love this tradition!
Cindy says
The Truth Be Told… “Less really IS More.” What I have learned lately from my 20 something sons. They would rather have experiences than stuff. I love their out look. It has taught me something as I try to down size. And purge all kinds of stuff inherited from relatives that have passed on and some, A LOT of my own. Is the reality , you can’t take it with you. So now , I have even their stuff to contend with. And spending the time taking care of various “stuff” is weighing me down. I need time for me and my art. I can’t even imagine getting more stuff this Christmas. I’d rather have fun doing something together as a family. This is the year I am going to attempt to get everyone on board with that thought. Blessings of the Season to everyone. Health and happiness!
Tamara says
I find as my parents get older, their Christmas lists get shorter and shorter, yet I still have to fight the temptation to question that or buy them more. I completely agree that they need less stuff at this stage of life, but it shows how hard consumerism habits are to break. As I’ve adopted minimalism, I don’t mind getting less, but still feel a little guilty getting less for others.
Sarah says
I feel so much the same.
Bill says
I saw something on facebook that said in Iceland they get a book (so each person gets a book) and they spend Christmas Eve in bed reading the book and eating chocolate. I would absolutely be all for that. Just go get one from the library and then you can return it. I set up 529 accounts for my nieces and that is where their christmas and birthday money goes. They will appreciate it some day and they get enough stuff from everyone else that they never play with anyway.
Valerie says
The same subject comes up every year since the same patterns and habits are entrenched in this society. Learn the truth about the holiday season, don’t respond to this capitalist society’s pressures to conform. Set yourself free from all the stressors, trappings and foolhardy expense.
Niki says
My family and I have decided through prayer that holidays are burdensome and against Gods plan. We choose to observe holy days that keep Him the focus, and are commanded that we keep. It has been freeing until we get bombarded with questions or people try to guilt us by saying it’s not fair to our children. The evil one is the great accuser and we choose to stand blameless, washed in the blood of Jesus.
Becoming minimalist is a wonderful goal and I’m thankful for God’s guidance to your Devo and to your blog!
Heather says
We went through this nearly 25 years ago. We were new Christians and just couldn’t reconcile the commercialism & greed of Christmas with our new faith in Jesus. Interestingly, it was other Christians who gave us the most grief and tried to dissuade us from our convictions. We asked friends & family to donate to a charity of their choice in lieu of giving us gifts. Our children have not suffered in any way, and have learned to help those in need; we have taught them to help people 365 days a year, not just for a few weeks in December. I remember those agonizing days of knowing that what we were doing was right, and yet it seemed that everyone was against us and pressuring us to conform (often not very kindly). Find your peace and solace in Jesus, and He will give you strength & grace. Blessings!
Lori says
Each family can establish their own Traditions. One of my friends has a tradition of providing an activity for the whole family during the Christmas holiday rather than buying gifts. For example, it could be going on a sleigh ride, a concert or donating time at a nonprofit together. Another of my friends, opened savings accounts for her grandchildren and puts money in each child’s account on birthdays and Christmas. They get the lump sum when the become an adult.
Mrs. M. says
I would like to put more emphasis on Advent. It used to be that Advent season was celebrated more in the churches. Now it seems the Christmas hymns are sung early on. If I recall correctly, when I was growing up in the 60s, the Advent hymns were sung for about four weeks, and Christmas hymns were not sung until Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
We have decided not to do presents or decorations this year for Christmas and I feel a sense of freedom and release from stress! I plan to find Advent resources and make that the focus of this season.
Connie says
I’m in the church choir and we won’t be singing Christmas songs until Christmas Eve. However, there is a radio station here that will be playing Christmas music starting on Thanksgiving Day.
I have decided to put an Advent tree out on the first day of Advent and put only purple ornaments which I purchased a couple of years ago because purple is my favorite color and that’s the color of Advent and then on Christmas Eve, I’ll put my usual ornaments on it and then it’ll be a Christmas tree.
We stopped exchanging gifts years ago and it really has helped with the stress. We concentrate on the reason for the season.
The commercialism of Christmas drives me crazy. I used to work retail years ago and you’ll never find me in a store on Black Friday.