When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
I agree whole heartedly with Karen Newton – the unnecessary comparison and criticism took away some of the power of this article for me. Reducing The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up to a single minded focus on happiness and the pleasure principle makes me think that Joshua didn’t actually read the book.
Marie Kondo encourages us to create a more thoughtful subject-subject relationship with the things around us, reducing the self-centered objectifying ownership mindset that I believe is behind much of the ills of this world. It’s not necessary to denigrate one idea – especially one not fully grasped – in order to champion another.
Great article by Joshua Becker. Marie Kondo has a particular focus that’s effective, but I had misgivings about using the “spark joy” principle as a guide in deciding what to keep or not. And it seems there’s a confusion between what is called ‘joy” and what is really described as “happiness.”
When I had to make radical decisions, in the wake of my mom’s illness and death, about selling everything — including the house — there was little time for feeling ‘joy’. And some of my personal items I let go of were ones that ‘sparked joy’, but they just don’t fit in a nomad life. They were good things, and I treasured them. But they are only symbols. The meaning of life is not in the things; it’s in us, our relationships, and in our humanity toward one another.
Joshua emphasizes defining the purpose and meaning for one’s life. And asking oneself, how do my possessions and behavior serve that purpose? His article helps people look beyond the immediate moment and emotions, to greater depth in life.
I like the ending: “There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.” Lighting a fire of humanity and love reminds me of the words and works of Jesus Christ. In times of grief or regret, it isn’t my possessions that will encourage me; rather, it’s knowing that my life has a definite purpose, and with Christ’s help, I will fulfill it.
I’ve started my step as a minimalist reading Marie Condo’s book. It was a great start, but I do agree with you that ‘spark joy’ question didn’t apply to every aspect of my journey to minimalism. It sometimes led me to reason and buy more pretty things that I eventually ended up throwing away. It’s a great phase to start minimalism with, but hopefully grow out and find more wisdom beyond it as well.
I just read The Life Changing Magic & Spark Joy and have completed every category but photos and work materials. This was the first time I fully engaged in her method of tidying (I’d done it half way previously). I’ve been a minimalist for years, allowing my things to ebb and flow as needed. I really appreciate that her method is heart centered. I found it easier to let go of the many things I was holding onto using joy and heart as a gauge. Many things in my mind were important to keep but did not spark joy. I can see Joshua, that her style is different from your own. I see the work you put out into the world as mind centered. There is room for both perspectives, just as I’m sure there are vitality oriented minimalists out there too, although I think they are likely approaching from a different lens… perhaps hiking the Appalachian mountains or living in a van! Marie Kondo’s work is great for someone ready to tap into their heart center and tidy up their life.
My feelings and thoughts too !
You expressed it so well, Kerri! Mind and heart, different approach. No right, nor wrong. Marie Kondo’s approach may not be generally well fathomed, it has a zen quality that transcends the mind, the thinking.
“Does this support the life I’m trying to create?”
I have not read Marie Kinds book and Joshua planted a seed in my head about minimilism. I do believe that we get caught up in sonsumerism our society is all about consumerism. Marketing is geared to make to think you need something. Words are very important and the are used in a specific way to attract us the consumers. Also subconsciously marketers will make u think you need an item.
In regards to how to decipher between what you keep in your home and what you discard is all about the person. We r all unique. Our needs are different from others. Husband and wife have different wants and needs. I am sentimental. When I pick something up that reminds me of something good. I keep it. I don’t care if my husband does not. His tools are used to upkeep our home.Does he have far to many? In my eyes yes. In his eyes he knows what he uses them for. So people. Do not be too literal with either. You have to factor in you as a person too! The books plant a seed, they r not manuals and you are neither Joshua or Marie!
Perfectly said!
I don’t think we should expect every post we read to be perfectly in line with our own vibe… I appreciate Joshua’s comments without necessarily agreeing with his take on Marie Kondo. I agree that there’s more to the book and Maries philosophy then is outlined in the article but Josh we really appreciate your posts! They spark lots of thinking and challenge us and I admire your selfless pursuit of what is really worthy!!
I haven’t read Marie Condo, but another problem with the question “does it spark joy” is that it might lead me to get rid of something that I need and use regularly, requiring me to replace it when I need it in the pursuit of a “more beautiful and joyful” version. Thus, contributing to the cycle of endless consumption.
I think it is a useful question in the context of (for example) “I have way too many shirts. Of the ones that fit and that I wear, let me choose the five that spark joy in me and I will give away the rest”.
Joshua, I have a sneaking suspicion that if you’d written a clutter-free version of this article, it wouldn’t have mentioned Marie!
Unnecessary critique is clutter too – psychological and emotional clutter, as are comparisons. I once heard it said that there are many ways to God, and I’m sure the same goes for de-cluttering!
I value Marie Kondo’s work and I value yours, and you have each helped me. My clothes drawers have stayed tidy for years, thanks to Marie, and that sparks joy and wonder every time I open them!
What has helped me by far the most, though, was watching and listening to the videos of Brooks Palmer, and reading his books. He was helping people clear their clutter long before many others jumped aboard the ship, and I never understood why he didn’t become more popular. I don’t think he practices anymore. He used to help people who were literally trapped by the clutter in their homes. In doing so, he picked up an awful infection from mould spores and ultimately had to have a lung transplant. His two books are brilliant and his ‘voice’ and message is one of inclusivity and tender compassion.
There’s no wrong or right way. What works for me might not work for a friend. It’s also important to be mindful of the possible differences between a masculine approach and a feminine one. Happy clutter clearing, everyone! ????????????
I agree with the idea that asking whether an item sparks joy has the potential to miss some of the value of the simplistic tools we use everyday. A ‘spark’ of joy to me brings the expectation to feel a momentary thrill for an object, rather than thinking of the deeper value of the object – the long term , practicality, contentment and gratitude we get from living a minimalistic lifestyle.
Our culture of consumerism sells us that ‘short thrill’ of having something new. However, the long term satisfaction and ease of only ever having 2 plates to choose from or to wipe, creates the value of a slower paced and perhaps more harmonious ritual. With each step of decluttering, I have given away many of the items that ‘sparked joy’ as many of those items were for ‘adoring’, today my environment has practical items that have helped me to form a life style of gentleness, peacefulness and graciousness. My everyday handling of these objects have become a sacred way of life.
In a way, this deeper connection with my possessions could be seen as a lasting subtle joy – rather than a quick thrill- and is the result of focusing on my daily needs and creating rituals that use specific items and actions to create a gentle way of life. There is a space for feeling joy, but for me it was an unlearned of what I thought was Joy, and the deeper sense of this emotion came after the decluttering.
I think you have hit on the reason for confusion in what Marie Condo means when she says “Does it spark joy.” I feel that people put too much importance on the word spark as a sudden and fleeting feeling.
However when building a fire that will last, just like the deep and lasting joy you talk about, you need a spark to start the burning. In my view, spark is not about a sudden thrill that dies away quickly, but more the brilliant start that leads to a lasting feeling.
Just like the person who posted about the spatula comment, sometimes we simply need things on an irregular basis. Selling/ridding of those things just to buy them again when needed would be an immense monetary and environmental waste, just because it takes up space.
I do however keep a limited wardrobe, but I do have a lot of tools, because I actually need them for house/car/other maintenance from time to time.
Having only things that “Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?” is not all-encapsulating. If you are actually someone who has to maintain things, even if it doesn’t serve a ‘greater purpose’ that’s life. Discipline in actually cleaning and yes re-organizing is something your children would be well-served to understand and do. It is irresponsible to not have enough extras/spares. While I believe in lean six sigma mostly, sometimes you need to add-in items/steps that assure for quality control (personal and otherwise).
“Sometimes boys, dad just has to make sure things are functioning well. I’m sorry this does take some time away from doing more activities. However, remember, I’m mostly present and when we hike or camp et cetera, I’m here with you. You’ll understand, sometimes you have to take time away from those you cherish, because that’s life, and it isn’t a fairy tale.”
I wrestle with my boys, we have conversations, and while I’m not perfect, I certainly have a known life purpose for myself. And it doesn’t require getting rid of even access items – they serve a purpose that doesn’t even remotely fulfill my life purpose et al.
I don’t worship at their alter, they are tools, just like a toothbrush. Why three 100-foot extension cords? Because fortunately/unfortunately, sometimes you need three all at once, and you waste more time and money trying to get down to just one 100-foot extension cord. If the decluttering burns more time and money in the end than keeping the extra stuff, what was actually more detrimental?
Certainly, living in mounds of newspaper is excessively inefficient, but so is trying to get things so exact, that you end up having to take yet another trip to the store to rebuy something you literally had, but your significant other deemed as ‘excessive’ and therefore unneeded.
Josh,
I think a lot of people missed the point of your post. I thought Marie’s book was rather silly, but that was my opinion. The main problem for me was the focus on getting “joy” out of STUFF. That kind of joy never lasts, I don’t care how much you “love” your red sweater. Helping another that is less fortunate, being kind, being loving, putting others first, loving God….all those things bring the right kind of “joy”. STUFF is temporal.
I read both Marie’s and Joshua’s book. In my perspective Marie’s philosophy making much more sense and deep meaning for the “purpose of my life” for me.
I am saying this, because nobody has a right to decide which is better than other. Taking “minimalism as the only truth” for better life is wrong and going too far.
In this article, I observe two things:
1. Joshua thinks his way is better than Marie’s and argues as like it is a fact, not his personal opinion. This is kind of arrogant approach. For example, from my personal perspective it is vice versa (Marie’s philosophy is much more deeper than Joshua’s)
2. Joshua didnt really understand what Marie is trying to say about in her book. I would recommend him to read the book again, maybe several times, without a background judgement mechanism which compares methodologies.
Making such kind of comparison only lower the values of both methodologies in an unnecesaary way.
I agree this article is a bit arrogant.. trying to make me feel guilty re not changing the world. I think the question should be – does it still spark joy? I ended up with clutter because I once had a lot of extra cash and didn’t think too long about purchasing items that at the moment seemed to spark joy. My habits are better now… I think much more carefully before deciding to make a purchase. I’m now just trying to get these past reminder items of frivolous foolish decisions out of my house. Once decluttered I hope to spend more time on hobbies and enjoying the outside. As far as making the world better .. I try to help whoever I can daily… on a small scale… that’s about all I’m game for at this time. And the items I’m keeping… yah they do make me very happy. Stuff can bring happiness too .. we just can’t get too crazy or one day we will regret it, for a few reasons.
I completely agree with you. As I was reading this article I thought, “this guy hasn’t even read her book Spark Joy.”
I just finished it (with very low expectations) and actually loved it. I felt like it takes minimalism to a higher level (and more enjoyable!)
I’m disappointed with the tone of this- it’s not a competition!
Agree!! I got a very negative feeling while reading this article. :-/
Perfectly said. There is room for everyone. No bashing allowed. Stay in your own Hulu hoop. You do you and I’ll do me and we will both respect each other.
Joshua, thank you for not adding me to your mailing list. I receive it at another one.
I agree. Kondo did address reducing consumerism, overstocking, avoiding marketing that encourages more shopping, and creating a serene environment that frees us from thinking about maintaining our stuff and rather appreciate what our stuff allows us to pursue.
She also addresses practical items like spatulas with a solution that is not discard and rebuy to contribute to consumer waste
I agree with the message in this post. I don’t perceive this as a personal attack on Marie Kondo. People who do see it that way may need to ask themselves why this post has really upset them. “Sparking joy” may help you trash items you don’t want anymore, but if that becomes your only criteria for what comes and goes from your life, you may find yourself down a wasteful and selfish path.