When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
Great article by Joshua Becker. Marie Kondo has a particular focus that’s effective, but I had misgivings about using the “spark joy” principle as a guide in deciding what to keep or not. And it seems there’s a confusion between what is called ‘joy” and what is really described as “happiness.”
When I had to make radical decisions, in the wake of my mom’s illness and death, about selling everything — including the house — there was little time for feeling ‘joy’. And some of my personal items I let go of were ones that ‘sparked joy’, but they just don’t fit in a nomad life. They were good things, and I treasured them. But they are only symbols. The meaning of life is not in the things; it’s in us, our relationships, and in our humanity toward one another.
Joshua emphasizes defining the purpose and meaning for one’s life. And asking oneself, how do my possessions and behavior serve that purpose? His article helps people look beyond the immediate moment and emotions, to greater depth in life.
I like the ending: “There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.” Lighting a fire of humanity and love reminds me of the words and works of Jesus Christ. In times of grief or regret, it isn’t my possessions that will encourage me; rather, it’s knowing that my life has a definite purpose, and with Christ’s help, I will fulfill it.
I’ve started my step as a minimalist reading Marie Condo’s book. It was a great start, but I do agree with you that ‘spark joy’ question didn’t apply to every aspect of my journey to minimalism. It sometimes led me to reason and buy more pretty things that I eventually ended up throwing away. It’s a great phase to start minimalism with, but hopefully grow out and find more wisdom beyond it as well.
I just read The Life Changing Magic & Spark Joy and have completed every category but photos and work materials. This was the first time I fully engaged in her method of tidying (I’d done it half way previously). I’ve been a minimalist for years, allowing my things to ebb and flow as needed. I really appreciate that her method is heart centered. I found it easier to let go of the many things I was holding onto using joy and heart as a gauge. Many things in my mind were important to keep but did not spark joy. I can see Joshua, that her style is different from your own. I see the work you put out into the world as mind centered. There is room for both perspectives, just as I’m sure there are vitality oriented minimalists out there too, although I think they are likely approaching from a different lens… perhaps hiking the Appalachian mountains or living in a van! Marie Kondo’s work is great for someone ready to tap into their heart center and tidy up their life.
My feelings and thoughts too !
You expressed it so well, Kerri! Mind and heart, different approach. No right, nor wrong. Marie Kondo’s approach may not be generally well fathomed, it has a zen quality that transcends the mind, the thinking.
“Does this support the life I’m trying to create?”
I have not read Marie Kinds book and Joshua planted a seed in my head about minimilism. I do believe that we get caught up in sonsumerism our society is all about consumerism. Marketing is geared to make to think you need something. Words are very important and the are used in a specific way to attract us the consumers. Also subconsciously marketers will make u think you need an item.
In regards to how to decipher between what you keep in your home and what you discard is all about the person. We r all unique. Our needs are different from others. Husband and wife have different wants and needs. I am sentimental. When I pick something up that reminds me of something good. I keep it. I don’t care if my husband does not. His tools are used to upkeep our home.Does he have far to many? In my eyes yes. In his eyes he knows what he uses them for. So people. Do not be too literal with either. You have to factor in you as a person too! The books plant a seed, they r not manuals and you are neither Joshua or Marie!
Perfectly said!
I don’t think we should expect every post we read to be perfectly in line with our own vibe… I appreciate Joshua’s comments without necessarily agreeing with his take on Marie Kondo. I agree that there’s more to the book and Maries philosophy then is outlined in the article but Josh we really appreciate your posts! They spark lots of thinking and challenge us and I admire your selfless pursuit of what is really worthy!!
I haven’t read Marie Condo, but another problem with the question “does it spark joy” is that it might lead me to get rid of something that I need and use regularly, requiring me to replace it when I need it in the pursuit of a “more beautiful and joyful” version. Thus, contributing to the cycle of endless consumption.
I think it is a useful question in the context of (for example) “I have way too many shirts. Of the ones that fit and that I wear, let me choose the five that spark joy in me and I will give away the rest”.