When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Two years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
The white tank top that I wear because it’s so soft and useful, that fits perfectly…does not help me fulfill a greater purpose in my life. And it would not be a useful question to ask as I clean out my closet. And in the book, “sparking joy” was not the only criteria for keeping items. There wasn’t really a phrase for it, but keeping things you used often was quite acceptable. So my spatula, which doesn’t spark joy, and did help me fulfill the greater purpose of taking care of my family, would also be kept going along with Marie Kondo’s book. So I don’t think she’s wrong in that aspect. I do not however, talk to my socks.
Awesome post Joshua. Thank you!
Interesting question (makes you think), but like some people have pointed out spark joy works for a lot of people too. There isn’t a right or wrong with both questions, it’s just “what works best for you?” Or “which question to ask for this particular thing?”
I feel we should highlight ours without having to diminish others’. Thank you!
I thought you had some worthy points to make, but it’s sad and it discredits your mission that you needed to trivalize the good and decent work of another to do it. I just used Marie’s method to move out of my bathroom and went through every item to see if it syncronized with my mission of a more effecient space to support me and help to mobilize quick get-aways while I care for my ailing husband and travel for the needs of aging parents. Thank you Marie.
I enjoyed this article very much. It is helpful to me.
Interesting article. I did find the “spark joy” question helpful to me because practical questions like Do I use this? Etc I am creative and can always find an answer for them so it was hard to minimize that way. After the initial aha moment from reading the “spark joy” question though I had a hard time decluttering like I wanted to because her technique of emptying an entire space and putting back what sparks joy is somewhat difficult to do in a busy life with kids. I was able to keep clothes neater and downsize but I did find as I went through your decluttering course huge strides being made. I have a clean kitchen almost daily for the first time in years, etc. I gave up a great deal more clothes because I was thinking about what I wanted my personal and my clothes purpose to be. I think you really get how being a parent and family life really is and how to integrate decluttering into that which I am very grateful for! I think too your purpose is more about giving up things and living your life, while Kondo’s is more about organizing what you have and beautifying your home. For example, I followed her advice about folding clothes and it did make my drawers look pretty, but now that I follow the 33 clothing project or 31? I have made plans to give my dresser away because everything now fits in my closet!
I think the “spark joy” question can be the first, or starter question. For some, it is a beginning – a way into deeper, more meaningful ways of being. Thanks for providing us ways to go deeper.
I found the questions ‘Does it spark joy?’ very useful. It has helped me give up things I was clinging on to for the ‘just in case I need it’ moment. But I still need many articles to complete my book research – I must get on with writing it now!
Thank you SO much for this. I read Marie Kondo’s books over a year ago and they motivated me to make a good start. But the Becoming Minimalist community is giving me renewed motivation and methods that I am confident will help me be victorious. The question, “does this (item) fit into my life’s greater purpose?” is huge for me; as well as the related question, “what IS my life’s greater purpose?”
I suspect that from a Japanese point of view, “sparking joy” may very well incorporate the idea of fitting into one’s life’s greater purpose.
Totally agree.her book was so helpful for me
The first thing I thought of when I read this (which is excellent) was the roll of duct tape in my hall closet. It doesn’t spark joy or help me fulfill my greater purpose.
It does however help me fix things or tape things that need to be stuck together. I think we forgot that sometimes there are things we own that should fall in a “generally useful” category. Toilet brushes, screwdrivers, washing machines – some things help us get a job done so we can focus on fulfilling our greater purpose or finding joy.
I wonder if the saying “Does it spark Joy” loses its meaning in translation? I interpreted it to mean will the item improve your life thus giving you joy.
Me too.Hate to say,but I dont agree with this article’s premise
This was an amazing perspective. I was on the “does it spark joy?” bandwagon after reading the book, and I believe I was able to discern what I should keep and not keep; however, this question adds bite to the process. If an object fulfills a greater purpose in my life then it makes my decision to keep it very clear.
Also, people who have not made the mindshift out of consumerism need your question as a clearer guideline. Love this. Thank you.
Your friend in minimalism, Shadé
What I understood from the book regarding that idea is that, in the long term, everyone ends up owning a lot of things: Some of them are there because of what we think we should be (like the girl who owned a huge collection of professional books and papers), and others are there because of what we really want ourselves to be (i don’t know, maybe a set of gardening tools).
When decluttering, you’re exposed to a lot of raw data about yourself, so it’s a great opportunity to realize what you really value and what you can live without.
In the end, I’ve never considered the book a ‘minimalism’ or ‘decluttering’ one, but more a self help one, so the question is quite valid from my point of view.
EXCELLENT!!!!
I never liked that question but couldn´t explain exactly why…
Don’t agree that Marie Kondo’s approach isn’t also leading someone (me)to make decisions about the reason I have something,my values driven lifestyle & my service to others.This article proposes that asking ourselves “only” Does It Spark Joy,won’t lead us to the very same questions/points this writer espouses.Kon Mari method DID help me get in touch with what energy something gave me (and do I want that energy around me),helped me get off the memory train and live in the now,helped me to surround myself with things,people ,experiences,ways of spending my time that I truly wanted/needed.Also it was so rewarding to donate items that I may have/still value (eg my grown children’s toys,games,sports equipment) to others that appreciate them eg charities like Boys and girls club.It warmed my heart.Think this writer missed the boat in understanding marie condo.Perhaps the Question Does it apark joy?& the the title of Tidying” is misleading as to what she is intending
I’m sorry, this post just reeks of arrogance. Marie Kondo and Josh Becker are preaching very similar messages. You can promote your philosophies without attacking and belittling others. I think “sparking joy” has a meaning that is much deeper than Josh’s interpretation of it, which is due to our American culture and ignorance of other cultures. And Josh, it really comes across like you’re saying you are a better person than Marie because of the non-profit that you started that Marie did not. That somehow your life is more meaningful and valuable than Marie’s because of some man-made metric. That is the epitome of what the Pharisees were all about (boasting in their works) and what Christ came to rescue this world from. I think both Josh and Marie preach a message that this world needs to hear. It would be better accompanied with some humility, kindness, and compassion… rather than just some mud-slinging.
I agree! I may even start talking to my socks–if I can find a pair! :-)
I found her suggestion about rolling versus folding items both cuts time when putting away laundry AND it is great for packing a bag to go somewhere!
I tend to keep things for sentimental reasons; so I took her question to heart. I was “fond” of some things but they did not “spark joy”, which is a very intense event, So I did find this a good way to start my paring down of my stuff.