“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” —Booker T. Washington
‘Tis the season for accumulation.
Over the next several weeks, new possessions will enter homes at an alarming rate. The new possessions will arrive in stockings, gift bags, gift wrap, and envelopes. And the new products will come in various forms: electronics, clothes, books, toys, jewelry, gift cards, video games, decorations, DVD’s, and cookware. In America alone, over $600 billion dollars will be spent on retail goods during the months of November and December.
Some gifts will meet legitimate needs. But most gifts during the holiday season are purchased to satisfy wants: another new doll for your daughter, a new video game system for your son, or a K-cup coffee maker for the parents. Worse yet, many of the gifts we give will satisfy neither needs or wants—instead, they will only satisfy an obligation.
When the gift opening is done, new toys will clutter kids’ rooms and new clothes will clutter our closets. Gift cards will line our pockets and holiday cards will decorate our refrigerators. New gadgets will be shoved into cupboards. And new electronics will be plugged into available outlets all around our homes.
Our houses will fill up with more and more accumulated stuff. Then, the weariness will begin to set in. It always does.
Possessions bring about that effect on us. They clutter our physical space and steal our mental energy. They take time to clean and manage and organize. We worry about them getting broken or dirty or lost. They cost us financial opportunity. The accumulation makes our home feel cramped or too little or designed without enough storage space. Eventually, our possessions wear out or go out of style. And in the end, they never bring as much joy to us as they do the models on the packaging.
We will spend $600 billion dollars during this holiday season. But in the end, we will be no happier than we were before. We will only be more tired, more burdened, and more distracted from the very things that do bring us joy, purpose, and meaning.
There is more joy in owning less than can be found in owning more. And it is far better to donate than accumulate.
Meanwhile, there are countless charitable organizations all around the world meeting very real needs. These charitable organizations are providing food and shelter to those without any. They are delivering clean water to entire villages without supply. They are protecting battered women and offering needed supplies to expectant mothers. They are placing orphans in loving families. They are offering educational assistance to those who need it most. And they are offering new opportunity for those who have had it taken from them.
These very real needs are all around us. They are across the ocean. They are in our cities. They are in our neighborhoods. And they live above us in our apartment buildings.
The act of donation is a win-win situation. For those with too little, needs are met. And for those with too much, freedom is discovered in our homes and in our lives.
It is time to shift our thinking on this issue. We have spent too many years and too many holidays chasing accumulation. But the accumulation of retail goods has not brought contentment or joy or purpose. It has not delivered on its promise. We have satisfied our wants, only to be left wanting more.
In the coming days, seek to break the cycle of accumulation in your life and in your home. Embrace the joy of donation by giving away your unneeded possessions. And discover again, It is better to give than to receive.
Zuma says
My family has worked hard over the last year to minimize. We’ve more than halved our possessions. The more I get rid of, the less I fee like I need. However, the constant stuff that keeps coming it is getting tiresome. It’s 100 times worse this time of year.
We live away from family, so presents for the kids from grandparents have been coming in boxes for the last two weeks. It’s ridiculous, but better than previous years. Last night we had dinner at a house packed with junk with more junk packed under the Christmas tree. In hopes of some need being fulfilled, I ate lots of rich food. This is another aspect of consumerism that rears its head…the junk we put into our bodies.
I overate and felt like crap. As a result, I couldn’t sleep. Perusing Facebook I was sickened and depressed by my friends posting pictures of all the stuff they put out that ‘Santa’ was giving to their kids. So much stuff! And what happens after all is said and done? A complete let down. An unrelenting sadness that cannot be quelled by all the stuff in the world. Alas, Christmas day is so depressing.
My kids got very few things compared to others. The big toys don’t work, of course and the kids are back at the basics that are intrinsically rewarding; sports, blocks and art. Where will all this new stuff go in the house? I shudder to think. I can’t wait to get all the boxes out for recycling pick up.
Really, what more do we need than fellowship, good healthy food, time to relax and creative entertainment? My favorite memory of this season will be going to the big library downtown and having a great time with the family there. We were excited about being together and not about the ultimately disappointing Christmas day to come.
May we all be free of the causes of suffering.
everlearning says
Well said. Thank you for your perspective. “May we all be free of the causes of suffering.” Amen!
Benjamin Melançon says
I helped a family wrap Christmas presents for two young children last night, and pretty quickly from the wrapping paper to the gifts themselves, it felt like a celebration of waste. Yet as much as i want to get people focusing on the horror of inequality and the many ready solutions, taking that idealistic thinking to its conclusion we will solve the gross injustices in the world and we should still have holiday traditions where kids make out like bandits. I don’t have an answer for that, just putting it out there.
But while we’re refocusing our gift-giving mindset on bettering the world, one of the barriers for us giving to charity is lack of information. The charities most able to reach us, in our mailboxes or heaven forfend on our televisions, are frequently not the most effective. I am lucky to have had a very close look at a new, small, and growing organization trying to establish systemic foster care in India (on a model which tries to keep children with the nearest relative possible), and helping out families, and i can vouch (for whatever that counts for from someone you don’t know on the internet) that this organization, Foster Care India, will do good things with your donation: http://fostercareindia.org
Zuma says
Benjamin,
Excellent comment. We can’t have it both ways. I’m struggling with this gray zone where we’re trying to be minimalist, but still partaking in lots of crazy American consumerist activities. One being Christmas! I started being a minimalist because I realized that the more I had, the more someone else went without. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what kind of system allows that to happen. How am I in a position to have more than others? After much thought, I’ve realized I’m on the right side of a wrong system. More thought needed. Thanks for your link, btw.
everlearning says
Benjamin, your comment on giving to charity and lack of information is very important. Thank you! Everyone has to do this using the best tools at their disposal and discerning carefully, but for our family, we have become very familiar with two ministries at our church and three others in our community. The two at our church: the food pantry (open nearly every day) and once-a-month community meals. We give the gift of our time at both ministries, but we also give money to those ministries with the specification that the money is to be used only for purchasing food, so that money goes directly to where it has the most effect. Sometimes we buy or prepare the food ourselves, although with regard to the food pantry, the State Food Bank offers good quality non-perishables at about half the cost of what we could buy at the grocery store. If a necessary piece of equipment has failed (oven/refrigerator), we can help pay for the repair or replacement. The other two ministries in our community help the homeless, hungry, and those trying to move from shelters to apartments with help from the charitable organization. In these cases, we again offer our time packing food, making beds for the homeless shelters, serving food, preparing food, buying and bringing food. We donate needed items (kitchenware, bedding, etc.) to those making the move from the shelter to an apartment. In giving our time to these causes, there is no question that we are helping in a significant manner. In giving money in this way, we know exactly where it is going and it never goes to overhead of any kind, or a middleman, or to the salaries of overpaid CEOs.
You are absolutely correct that information is so very important to charitable gift-giving. The gift of time and face-to-face contact is invaluable. If one has a desire to give money to one of these organizations, please, please take the time to find out where your money is going and how the system works.
Mr. Everyday Dollar says
While it may be nearly impossible to forego all gift-giving (believe me, I’ve tried), for those of us that give gifts this season you might want to try this: make a choice to donate more to those in need than the total amount we will spend on gifts. In doing so, we can make the world a better place (with the benefit of a tax deduction too :) yet still participate in exchanging with friends and family.
MarieG says
“…freedom is discovered in our homes and in our lives.” The best gift of all!
MarieG lifesimplybalanced.com
Barb says
One thing I say to myself when I am hesitant to give away
my wretched excess…”what you. own
eventually own’s YOU.!!”
Christy King says
This year we’re focusing on consumables for gifts. We also gave the kids the option of buying a second-hand item if they couldn’t think of a good consumable.
Also when the kids were young, we had them give stuff away they had outgrown BEFORE Christmas “to make room” for the gifts. They were always a lot more eager to get rid of the toys they no longer played with for “making room” than at other times of the year, LOL.
jill britz says
for advent, instead of cramming the hands of my 4 kids with trinkets & sugar (we used to do that!), we asked them to donate their december allowance to buy toys for less fortunate kids. then we got $2 drinks at caribou. we made fudge to give away. we watched holiday movies, & we searched for toys or trinkets to donate, in preparing for what they WILL get.
the amazing thing? i thought they’d fuss with no small toys or sugary treats every day. i thought they’d ask why THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT.
instead? kids with even blood sugar & creative ideas for craft projects.
I HAD NO IDEA, but now that we’re changed, WE’RE NOT GOING BACK.
thanks, joshua, for giving me permission to entice my children into minimalism, even (especially!) at christmas.
Julia says
Thank you Joshua for a lovely reminder of what matters this season. As a family our gifts are small and are not surprises but what someone has asked for because they need it. As an example I’m giving my father a hi-viz top and rear view mirror for his bike after he had a major scare last week. I look forward to the following 2 weeks of holidays where I plan to stay home and sort through my stuff (I’m working through a full household in storage) and donate more goods to local groups so I can begin the New Year with a whole lot less.
Thank for your inspiring writing throughout the year, wishing you and your family a very happy holiday season.
Christine Busta says
Cynthia,
Could you be my kiddos grandmother? I love that you led the discussion to helping others! Maybe you could start Grandmothers Against Overconsumption group–I know some sweet wonderful people that could do well to hear your message (because they haven’t heard mine:).
Have a blessed season!
Christine
7 Ways to Avoid Christmas Clutter
http://awellstockedlife.wordpress.com/2013/11/24/7-ways-to-avoid-christmas-clutter/
Cynthia Ferguson says
I give each of my grandchildren$1.00 for each year of their life and a card for their birthday. One of my granddaughters asked why I don’t give cool gifts. I told her to look around her house. You can barely walk because of all of the stuff,do you really need more stuff? Maybe not. Then we discussed how to help others.
Zuma says
This is the way to do it. Being a minimalist is going to make lots of people angry. If they want to hear what you’ve got to say, great. If they don’t, then we can move on.