As we minimize possessions, how do we overcome the guilt of money spent on things in the past?
As part of Uncluttered, I answer lots of questions from participants as they seek to own less. I’ve answered thousands over the years.
And by far, one of the most common questions I hear is, “What do I do about all the money that I wasted on things? How do I get rid of things that I spent so much money on?”
It is a significant roadblock for many people and I want to try to answer that question for you today.
I’d like to accomplish in three ways: First, by introducing an Accounting principle, and then by reminding each of us about two truths about life that are incredibly important.
First, the Accounting principle of Sunk Cost.
In college, at the University of Nebraska, I learned about the sunk cost trap (my major was Finance).
Sunk cost is an accounting term that has countless applications to the way we live. The principle is this:
A sunk cost refers to money that has already been spent and which cannot be recovered. It should be excluded from future business decisions because the cost will remain the same regardless of the outcome of a decision.
It looks a little something like this. Let’s say I spent $10,000 on a business machine to do a task three years ago. But now, there is a new machine to accomplish the task that only costs $5,000. It does the work better, faster, more efficiently, and higher quality. It is unwise to think exclusively, “I am not going to buy the new machine because I spent so much money on the old machine.”
The principle also applies to life outside of business. Correctly applied and considered, the sunk cost principle is incredibly freeing.
Just because we wasted a lot of time and energy and money on things in the past, doesn’t mean we need to hold onto them if they’re not contributing to us living our best life today. Don’t cling to a past mistake just because you spent a long time making it.
Second, two truths about life to help us overcome guilt.
1. We cannot change the past.
We simply cannot go back and redo any events from our past. There are countless moments and decisions I wish I could undo, but the reality of life is that is not possible—ever.
When it comes to overcoming the guilt of an expensive purchase, unless the tags are still on the item, you cannot go back and unpurchase the item. It is done. It is over. It happened. And nothing is going to change that fact.
Which makes the second truth about life even more important:
2. We cannot change the past, but we can always learn from it.
When we learn life lessons from our past mistakes and determine to not make them again in the future, we begin to redeem the past. It begins to serve us and contributes to a brighter and better future.
We cannot undo the purchase decision, but the money becomes less wasted when we learn a lesson from it. If you feel guilt in removing possessions that you spent considerable money on in the past, learn from that guilt. Don’t allow it to paralyze you, but learn from it and move forward in freedom.
And when you remove those items, look for the best places for them to go. Maybe someone else can use them, maybe they can be sold or recycled, but don’t continue to carry that guilt and burden into the future.
There is not a doubt in my mind you will love owning less. You’ll find more money and more time and more energy and more focus. You will be able to live a more fulfilled life focused on things that matter most. To get there, almost all of us need to overcome the money that we wasted on things in the past.
Choose to live for the invisible and the eternal—not physical things that perish, spoil, and fade.
Maria Pinto says
There are some places that have innovative recycling programs.
One is Terracycle.com
I am in Sacramento and there is a great store called Refill Madness right next door to the Sacramento Food Coop.
You can take in your clean shampoo/lotion/dish & laundry soap bottles for refills from Eco Products like Dr. Bronners and Alba Botanica. You can also bring your used toothbrushes, deoderant
containers etc. for recycle. Check out their website
Leslie says
Hospitals are the best place til give books and toys, imho
Maria Pinto says
The Mormon Thrift Stores are called Deseret.
Maria Pinto says
Susanna,
I would suggest instead of Goodwill, St. Vincent DePaul or if there are any Hospice Thrift Stores. Goodwill is pricier than some of these other thrift stores. Not sure where you are but the Mormons have thrift stores in a few states too and their prices are lower.
Also a good place to donate is your local library. In California they have great sales and Libraries do so much more for the community with computers, lunch programs, etc. to help out folks in need.
But if you have a few books you truly treasure my advice is don’t be too quick to part with them. They are like an old friend who comes calling after a long time.
Sam says
Getting rid of your own stuffs is really hard. My partner told me to throw away some of my mugs – which we have plentiful of them. I
find they are all joyful to be kept around and bring comfort when it is muggy outside. There are a total of about 50 of them most from gifts from my co-workers, who are teachers, administrators, and friends. Does anyone know where to start when getting rid of the mugs?
Annie Allen says
My first question is: Are you keeping the mugs to USE them or are they a collection? Useful items are typically stored in cabinets or open kitchen shelves whereas collections are often displayed openly. If your set of 50 mugs are utilitarian, then I suggest paring down (how many mugs do you really NEED?). If your mugs are a collection, consider a display case somewhere in your office/home/kitchen.
If you would like to reduce your inventory of mugs, my advice is to first set all of your mugs out on the counter so you can see them all at once. Then decide how many mugs do you want/need – I’m thinking somewhere around 5. Then decide which mugs you want to keep; this step can be tricky so ask yourself which mugs do you regularly use (maybe you prefer a certain size or shape?). These are the keepers! Often times gifts can be difficult to part with because it feels like we are rejecting the gift if we discard it; however, the real gift isn’t the mug itself, it is the sentiment behind the gift (a thank you, a congrats, a happy b.day, etc.). That gift has been received. And now it’s okay to pass mug on to someone else (no doubt someone else’s treasure at the thrift shop!). For sentimental objects you could group them together and take a photo as a reminder of the feeling/message/sentiment….one photo of ten mugs takes up a lot less space. Hope this helps!
Olivia says
It was an amazing feeling to have found your post. Love your idea! I couldn’t think of better way to this huge task. My youngest daughter is a kindergarten teacher and is having them in her classroom for crafts and to hold her favorite crayons and flowers by the windows. I can think of many more ways to use them in a creative way. Donating them ends up to cost more than serve and benefit us well sometimes. I’d rather contribute them in this way.
Bella says
Sounds like a great idea!!!
Debbie says
Maybe one of the food kitchens, churches that have lunches.
Shelters, even some of the small cafes
use assorted cups, give people something to talk about.
Susanna Heiskanen says
We are just renovating and I am sorting through things and how many things we want to keep. It is emotionally draining trying to keep track of everything and letting go of old things is hard. We seem to have emotional attachment to things we own and dont want to let go. For me old books that I know I will not never read but they just gather dust in a cuboard, need to take pragmatoc approach. They will be useful for someone else than for me.
Byrd L says
Susanna, I am a book collector, mostly rare books. Can you tell me where you are and I would love to check it out, if you decide to give them away. Goodwill is also a good place not far away from my house, I could give them a visit. They are really looking for things for donation in my area.
Francine says
What a strange reply. The odds that you’re located anywhere near this woman, or that any of her books are that rare.
Gillian says
I really enjoyed this article, Joshua. It definitely resonated with me!
I used to feel guilty getting rid of things that I spent a lot of money on. But, over time, I realized that keeping certain things was making me feel worse than the guilt over getting rid of them.
Now I no longer randomly buy tons of stuff and any purchases are much more thought out. And because if this, I have so much less to get rid of.
Dotti Ulrich says
Very helpful article. Instead of focusing on the “how to” unclutter, which so many books do, it got to one of the reasons I find it difficult to let go of items—guilt over money spent. Now if I can just figure out how to overcome all the sentimentality attached to some possessions, I’ll have it figured out.
joshua becker says
Well, the memory isn’t in the object, the memory is in you. See if this helps: Taking pictures of sentimental goods may help people declutter, donate more
Laurie says
yes, the most powerful tool used in the marketing world is the visual. I am a designer and often upload my images to my files and folders this way I never buy anything at hand, nor do I have the storage for everything> So kudos, thumb up for the great article and helpful ideas.
Joan Logie says
Thank you for your continued inspiration to remove things to find more meaning and joy in life.
Maria Pinto says
I agree getting rid of things can be tough, but when you really get on board with decluttering, as you go along you will have less stuff to get rid of.
Maria Pinto says
Yes Dawn I know how you feel and the angst it causes. I like the term ecological guilt, it says you realize where this or that item may end up and that motivates you to make better purchasing decisions.
The main thing is to remain conscience about this subject and not get complacent about it. But too much guilt can consume the psyche with negative overload. Maybe one positive way forward is for each of us on the journey to know we are taking baby steps which will hopefully turn into big steps.