I just finished watching the New England Patriots defeat the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX. I lived in New England for six years and began cheering for the Patriots then. And the Super Bowl was played in Phoenix just down the street from where I live now, so that was kinda fun.
I guess you could say my team won. Or, at least, the team I cheer for won.
An interesting thing happens to me when a team that I cheer for wins a major sporting championship—this year is no different. I am instantly taken back to a conversation with a friend that occured almost 20 years ago.
Specifically, it was the mid-1990’s and the Nebraska Cornhuskers had just won the NCAA College Football Championship. After celebrating with our friends a short while after the final whistle, we got ready to leave while the party ended.
I recall vividly sitting in the passenger seat of my friend’s Honda Accord remarking how fun it was to win, but not sure knowing what to do next. I suggested that maybe we each head home to bed because we needed to get up early the next day for school. He agreed. And made this passing remark:
The emptiness of sports is most felt in victory.
I knew immediately what he meant. We were huge Nebraska Cornhusker fans—even though neither of us played on the team or even attended the school. But that didn’t matter. We invested a lot of resources into the season. The team’s schedule dictated ours. We spent money on t-shirts and hats and even some tickets during the year. We tied our emotions to the outcome of the games. And we argued relentlessly with anyone who disagreed with the superiority of our team.
We were highly invested in them and their success. Then, they won the big game and were crowned champion. We were excited for them and for us. But then, we returned home to go to bed. Life doesn’t stop for a national championship.
Up until this particular year, I had never personally experienced a championship. For one reason or another, we had always fallen short. In defeat, the emptiness is rarely felt because there is always next year, the thrill of the pursuit still remains. You can look back and debate what went wrong or what referee cost you a chance at the title. You can talk about the next season and what changes need to be made and how things will turn out better. You are left hoping and striving to defeat those that defeated you.
But when you win, the pursuit of the goal is removed. There is no one left to defeat. There is no obstacle left to overcome. Your team has reached the pinnacle of its sport. But it doesn’t change your life in any way. In fact, work begins again in the morning.
The emptiness of sports, you see, is most felt in victory.
But this is not a negative post to disparage athletics. I have competed in both individual and team sports my entire life. Through athletics, I have learned (and continue to learn) important life lessons about teamwork, discipline, strategy, perseverance, and the role that competition plays in our lives.
Also, this is not a post to disparage those who play sports or those who coach them—professional, collegiate, varsity, or younger. The goal of sports is to become the best all-around athlete or team that you can possibly become—and that progress is displayed on the field of play.
Congratulations to the New England Patriots. They have given their life and skill to the pursuit of a championship. And their hard work has paid off. No doubt, their accomplishment results in great satisfaction for them and everyone involved in the organization.
Instead, this is a post about the things we decide to pursue with our lives.
Because sometimes, it is difficult to notice the emptiness of these pursuits until we actually obtain them.
While we are striving, before we reach the top, the reward appears to be worth the effort and the investment. But this is not always the case.
For example, consider the pursuit of riches. When we don’t have them, but choose to pursue them, we do so because we think the solutions to many of our problems lie there. In money, we believe, we will find contentment, security, respect, confidence, or importance.
But the emptiness of riches is most felt in victory. Only when we obtain them, do we discover money does not bring nearly as much security and happiness as we expected.
Zig Ziglar said it this way, “Money won’t bring happiness, but everyone wants to find out for themselves.”
The same argument, I believe, could be made of material possessions, public accolades, fame, or early retirement. When we do not possess these, we desire them and faithfully invest our time and talent into them.
I often wonder if these pursuits also fall short of our greatest potential and greatest fulfillment. But maybe it is not until we finally achieve them that we recognize the emptiness of them.
What is the solution to this dilemma? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure.
But whenever I discover a pursuit that brings fulfillment upon its accomplishment, I feel called to invest more and more resources into it.
When I give my full attention to parenting well and feel the satisfaction that comes from it, I desire more of it. When I reach the end of a hard day at work knowing my focus was on other people, I feel fulfilled, and I desire more of it. When I generously invest money into causes I believe in and feel a sense of accomplishment, I desire to invest more money in that direction.
Ultimately, this is not a post about sports. This is a post about identifying which pursuits bring the greatest fulfillment in life. And finding the strength to invest our resources in them.
Image: Photo Credit: Cheryl Evans/azcentral sports
Marti says
This reminds me of a similar comment: Everything disappoints eventually.
Jet says
A few weeks ago, I signed up to participate in a “pay it forward” thing where I would find something special for 6 friends (from my own belongings, even just a quotation, etc…) so I have been in the pursuit of sharing kindness continually since then. I cleaned out several drawers & closets and found all sorts of gifts but also found gifts to share that were not “things” so I might just keep doing this for the rest of my life. It can be as simple as just sitting with someone and listening silently. Another pursuit that seems to never feel empty is continual self discovery/self love. Also finding joy in doing nothing.
Jane says
A really interesting post I can identify with. I used to have a demanding professional job that took years of study and experience to progress in. As I advanced I liked it less and less and felt more and more out of step with the corporate world. I gave it up and now live more simply, for which I am very grateful. Art is now my hobby and passion. I get so much more out of this; there is no end game, I can always strive to learn more and improve and share/teach others. most importantly I enjoy the doing, it is not all about the output at the end.
terri says
The same could be said about personal goals. In our family, we avoid creating self-goals or even New Year resolutions. Even for minimalism….there is only a journey, not an end result or victory. To be present in your journey is what matters most.
Jeanneke says
I totally agree!
Cheers,
Jeanneke.
Sam @ Frugaling.org says
I’ve never been a big, professional sports fan, but yesterday, I watched with friends and we all enjoyed the incredible will and competition of these two teams.
For me, the outcome has never mattered as much as the fun that can come from moment-to-moment play. It’s as if the end is a realization of a hard-fought game, but the process was all that mattered to me.
When I think about one team winning or another, that feels empty when compared to enjoying the entire process. Hope that makes sense! Great post!
BrownVagabonder says
This reminds me of my own victory and the emptiness felt in it – I spent months and months working towards paying off my student loans. All of my mental and physical energy for those months was devoted to the paying off these loans. That day that they were all paid off, I felt a huge emptiness. What goal was I supposed to focus on now? Which victory was I supposed to work towards now?
Jessica says
But isn’t it exciting? Now you can find a new goal, redefine yourself and pick something new you love and work towards that!
When you pursue a goal you grow and when you’ve reached your goal you’ve grown so much that taking on harder things won’t be a problem.
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
I find that the most fulfilling pursuits for me are those were the process (or the means) are as enjoyable as the result. When I find myself totally engrossed in a project and not wholly focused on what the end product will be, I feel like I’ve found contentment.
Something about being present in the moment of doing a task is really soothing for me. If I’m constantly thinking about when the project will be completed, then I know it’s not the thing for me.
Stacy B says
The state of flow I believe what you are experiencing in those perfect moments and that channeling really brings for a joy in a task. Now, if we could just do that in the most mundane tasks that would really be something:) !!
https://awellstockedlife.wordpress.com/2015/02/02/simple-living-do-you-own-your-stuff-or-does-it-own-you/
Matt says
Wow. I have had this feeling of emptiness after victories and am always confused by the feeling and thinking I was abnormal for having it. The emptiness felt for a “lucky break” victory is at first non-existence but then overwhelming at times. Thanks for sharing.
Judy says
I know what you mean, Joshua. :) I once heard someone say that if fans got THAT excited for the gospel of Jesus Christ as they do for a game, the world would be a better place. I know what they meant too. Ultimately…a good reminder to invest in our families and those in need. Love and kindness <3
tyler says
Seems like a lot of the excitement about jesus results in some pretty awful stuff.
Panda says
excitement about Jesus never resulted in awful stuff, you’re mistaking it with greedy, evil people using religion as their opportunity to do awful stuff, it’s a free world, an evil person can do evil whilst saying the name Jesus to mask himself and let people who aren’t wise to what the bible says be fooled, the bible already said it, it’s nothing new, it says there will be people amongst us wearing sheep’s clothing, but they are wolves.
Andreas says
I can’t believe you revealed the match result in your VERY FIRST sentence. I was hoping your blog could be a safe haven from the game.
I had planned on watching the game when I got home.
joshua becker says
On no, I feel terrible. But it’s probably best to avoid the Internet entirely if that’s the case.
Andreas says
haha, that’s true. I just needed my cup of coffee and this blog.
Well, now I can try to enjoy the actual game, not just waiting for the final result.
Have a good day =)
Tracy B. says
Trust me, there are parts of that game that you will need to see for yourself to actually believe. :-)